Beth is late. She didn't mean to. Making statements by being fashionably late isn't really her thing. And neither is hiking through the woods on her own. It just kinda happened. She wasn't in control of it. She couldn't do anything.

It took her over an hour to even get going. She doesn't know why. It shouldn't take her so long. Never used to. But she wanted to get Allie and Allie couldn't come, because the new girl was still awake and then she waited, they both waited, for her to fall asleep and she just didn't and then Charlotte woke up and Beth had to get her back to sleep and by the time she'd done that Allie herself was off to dreamland. It took Beth another ten minutes just to contemplate whether she should wake up Allie (which she decided not to do, because a) Allie wouldn't have appreciated that and b) it might have woken up the new girl too). But she wanted to. She really wanted to.

And that's the problem, really, isn't it? She's getting too attached. That's never a good thing, Beth knows. Not in a place like this. Sarah is living proof of that.

But still. Even though she knows better she is getting attached. She is starting to care about someone else more than she cares about herself. After all those years of learning how to detach herself, to smile through pain and grief, to not care, she's holding someone dear. She cares.

And that's why she hikes out into the woods alone, although she doesn't want to. She needs to forget about what's happening. She needs to let go. She needs a beer. Maybe a smoke, too.

It isn't that hard to find them. They usually light a fire (and they have done so tonight). Besides, they're really loud. It is quite deliberate that they venture so far out. If they stayed close, S would definitely catch them one day.


Beth pushes through a few twigs and then she sees them.

The twins are sitting back to back, perhaps stargazing. Their hair flows into each other, covering their shoulders. Jesse has not come. It's probably for the best for Sarah to have her sister to herself, especially right now.

Felix and Tony sit a few feet away, shoulders touching, sharing a joint. That's what she's looking for.

"Sorry I'm late", she says, approaching them.

"Childs", Tony acknowledges, giving her a cocky smile. "I see you've come without your little chaperone."

"Shut up." Beth lets herself fall on the ground next to them, tries to sound dismissive although the colour creeping up in her cheeks is clearly betraying her. "What's that you've got there? Any good?"

Tony shrugs. "Have a taste for yourself." And she does.

She inhales, holds, exhales. Once, twice, three times before passing it on to Felix. She already feels better. The combination of her pills and drugs usually does it for her. "So. What are we talking about today?"

"Cosima." Beth turns to see MK. The 15-year-old has a the rare talent of hiding in plain sight that always serves to send shivers down the older girl's spine.

"The new girl", Felix explains as he hands MK the reefer. Beth raises an eyebrow, which Felix answers with a shrug. "She says it helps with her seizures."

Now that's a logic Beth can't argue with. She takes a sip of her beer. It tastes horrible, probably some of the home made kind. They should really stick to gardening. At least that produces usable products.

"What about her then? Cosima, I mean."

"Well for one her name is cra-zy." Why Tony stresses this issue puzzles Beth. He's one to talk. Antoine. That's hardly your John Smith.

"So?" Even though she doesn't care at all, the new ones always find their way in time, she has to indulge in the topic. Because she knows If she drops it, Tony will return to question Allie's absence. She doesn't need that right now. What she needs is distraction.

"Sarah doesn't like her", Felix says in what he thinks is a hushed voice. The only problem with that is that he really can't whisper and it's more of a stage-whisper.

The well known "Oi! Are you two talking about me?" that follows was probably inevitable.


Beth steals the spliff from Tony's lips as the twins approach, only to lose it to Sarah seconds later. She takes a smoke, raises her eyebrows, points her lips, impressed. "Well I must say, this is only half as shite as the last one, Tony", she says, handing it to Helena. Beth doesn't think there's a lot of things those two don't share.

"I'll take that as a compliment." The bearded teen tips his hat.

Sarah ignores him in the way she does. They all know, deep inside, that she runs this school. She's been here the longest, she knows everything about everyone, she's practically Mrs. S' daughter. Sarah runs this place. Most of them know it. And she most certainly does.

"So. Who do I not like? And why does Childs care? I thought your search for a sweetheart was over?"

Beth swallows. She came here to not think about this. Not to think about this. "We were talking about Cosima", she says, because denying it doesn't have a purpose. Admitting, on the other hand, might also have the perks of getting her of the leash regarding Allie.

"Cosi-who?"

Helena giggles, shakes her head. Her eyes are wide even for the dim light they hide in. She really shouldn't be smoking. Ever. Like she doesn't skip enough meals as it is. "Cosima, sestra", she corrects her, "Cosima Niehaus... sounds like when Japan people say hello." She bows in demonstration, arms by her side and once again Beth wonders what exactly they did to Helena in the Ukraine. It's a hopeless quest.

Sarah's amused smile dies when she realizes. "What about her? You're not trying to bring her here, are you? Because you know this is dangerous enough with just us and at least-"

"No, no." Appeasing Sarah is one of the Herculean tasks only a few ever master. Beth is seldom one of them. "We were just chatting, that's all."

"Yeah", Felix jumps in, he usually knows how to push buttons with Sarah. They're like siblings, in a way. "Talking about the new ones is one of the few gossip treats we get. Remember when Beth first came?"

"I thought you were a cop with your pretty clothes and the glasses and you were coming to take down Tony's gardening", Helena says, giggles. Beth is grateful, because it seems to relief some tension in their unofficial leader.

"She tried to steal your 'gun'", Felix remembers, drawing little quotes into the night air with his fingers.

"It was a hairbrush", Helena nods. "Very nice hairbrush, though." So that's how she lost it. Interesting. Beth takes another sip. She hopes, wishes, prays that Sarah has forgotten all about their first topic now. They can make fun of her, that's okay.

But If they go back to Cosima. If they go back to the reason why Sarah doesn't like her. If Sarah goes back to thinking about the one space that was held open for four weeks and then closed. Closed. Closed for Cosima.

They really shouldn't go there.


"So. About the new girl", Sarah says.

Shit. How can they stop this? Beth looks to Tony for assistance, but he avoids his eyes. Coward. Helena is busy rolling another bud. Felix just tweaks his lips. Good luck, Childs.

Well.

"I know you-"
"No, you don't know. That's the problem. You don't know. It's been four weeks. Four goddamn weeks without a bloody word! As If he's got so much to do wherever he is-"

It takes two sentences for her lighter shadow to appear at her side. "Sarah", she says.

"And S, she knows he wants to come back. She knows he will come back. But what does she do? She robs him of the sheer possibility just so we-"
"Sarah." Her hands touch her sister's back, gently.

"So this new girl comes marching in, taking his place as If nobody's business, but guess what: It is my business!"

"Sarah." Finally their eyes meet and there's this silent understanding. "Let's go back to stargazing."

"That was close", Felix sighs as the two stomp and hop off.

Somebody clears a throat. Raised bottle and straight eyeliner she's just standing there, smiling uncertainly.

"Am I too late for the party?"