A/N: Man, I hate how I wrote this chapter. I'll probably end up rewriting in the future. I promise the third chapter will be better than this :/
chapter 2: oh, sweet pain
Spreading below is the glorious Crown City, shining bright against the dark backdrop of the night sky. Lights blink lazily at me-I hear the roar of life and civilization thriving underneath and wonder how on Eos the view is so different from the windows of my shitty apartment. Here, chin propped on my crossed arms over the windowsill, the wind brushing the hair back from my face, standing at I don't know how many feet away from the ground, everything feels more… majestic somehow. Not that Insomnia is any less pretty if you look at it from my home but for some reason, it can't compare to what it feels like being up here, in the palace. It's like watching a harmonic system on the works while you are on the center of the entire thing.
A chuckle escapes me.
Jeez, I'm being way too philosophical tonight and not even one drink has slipped past my lips.
I straighten up, push a few stray hairs from my face and distance myself from the windowsill. The expensive furniture typical of this environment I'm currently in greets my eye. To be honest, what I'm most interested right now is the beautiful, soft looking bed that is unfairly provoking me. The sheets, the pillows, the enormity of it-my cheap bed pales in comparison, it's not even a contest to begin with.
I jump on it, clothes and all, my back bounces thrice until finally melting into the criminally comfortable mattress. Eyes closed, arms splayed out on both sides of my head, I run through the catastrophic events of this terrible Sunday.
("WHAT" I repeat again, loud and not giving two fucks about how noisy I must be acting right now. I blink confusedly, try to retreat my hand but Ardyn's grip just won't budge, dammit! I can't help but look at Noctis-his gaze is trained on the man's bigger hand engulfing mine and I can see a muscle ticking on his jaw, his blue eyes have turned a dark shade I have only seen once a long time ago. Gladio takes an unplanned step forward but Ignis keeps him put by gripping his bicep like a vice, his mouth a thin line.
"I want you to show me your home city" Answers the chancellor, entirely nonplussed by my affronted behavior. If anything, it looks like my reaction made him feel surer of himself, the bastard.
I.. Is this a trick question?
Noctis's dad walks to the man's side. He puts a hand on his shoulder, prompting him (pun not intended) to let go of me in a very subtle way. Thank you! Seriously, why am I not in love with this man that has done more for me than Noctis has in these last couple of minutes? Ardyn's smile turns tighter and he lets go of me, unnecessarily slow. I sigh in relief and look disbelieving at my purple fingers; the blood flow retained on the tip of them. I massage them immediately to get the blood running down again, doing my best to not glare at motherfucking Ardyn Izunia who has no respect for personal space and handshakes apparently.
"I think the better option would be to let either Ignis or Gladiolus accompany you, Chancellor" he looks pointedly at me "I'm sure Prompto must be preoccupied with other things"
I begin to nod frantically but Ardyn does not even pay me attention "I'd be hard pressed to see your point. Your Highness just told me Ignis and Gladiolus-pardon my informalities-are meant to become not only members of the Crownsguard but the prince's trusted advisor and shield, correct? Then, I'm most certain they must have to attend to more serious matter than chaperoning me around the city. I would hate to keep them from their duties" He finished with that smirk I want to punch the living daylights out of his face.
The nerve he has! Not satisfied with defying the King he has to go and mock me when he knows shit about me, as if because I'm a commoner my time is less important than Gladio or Ignis's. And okay, he might be partly right, they can't exactly go parading just because but that doesn't mean that I'm any less important, that my time is any less important, that he can order me just for being 'below' him. Fuck him.
The worst is that technically, he can. The worst is that I have to swallow down every of the words circling in my head because I can't ruin this chance. My wounded pride will have to take a back seat and chill. Also… he was not entirely wrong either. I'm actually not doing anything and when I say anything, I mean it. Let's just say for now I took a 'temporary leave' from Uni and none of my friends know, not even Noctis- I've made everything possible for no one to know and I'd rather it stay like that, a shameful secret on the back of my mind.
Then I think of the conversation that took place prior to them walking out of the throne room. I think of Noctis's cold glare, his unfeeling voice as he basically told me to go fuck myself, since he never liked me and I am now nothing to him. It still hasn't sunk in, the ridiculous scene but I know that the moment I step outside the gates, the moment I climb down the stairs and I'm taken back to my home, I know that is when it will hit me, when I'll truly process it, and I'll torture myself over and over thinking of his words, of his rejection. I don't want to have to deal with that because I'm afraid of what will happen to me when I do.
I look at Ardyn, at his expectant hazel eyes and strong features. Objectively speaking, ignoring his asshole mannerisms, the fact that he destroyed my life and the awful vibes he gives off, he could almost pass for an okay guy, and he's not that bad to look at (again, objectively speaking). I look at him and know what I have to choose. In the end, it doesn't matter how much I may dislike this man-right now, I would choose to be in his company ten times over if it means that I can get a distraction from this mess with Noctis or at least avoid him for a while so he can't deliver the finishing blow.
So before Ignis or Gladio-whom I see discreetly edging closer, their mouths about to open to probably try and convince the chancellor –do anything about it, I speak up "Erm, actually, turns out that I have nothing to do tomorrow?"
Damn, that came out like a question. I wince and see Ardyn rise one brow at me. I hurry to explain "I mean, yeah I could take you around the city" He looks so smug I have to add this "Anything to see the agreement through"
I feel justified in saying that but I hear Gladio groaning behind me, Ignis sighing exaggeratedly and Noctis snorting while the King gives me that kind of look people give you on the street when you do something like oh, you know, trying to walk through a wall. Which means I did something stupid. Well, I can see then why he wanted Gladio or Ignis to be with the chancellor, I'm shit at this whole political business. Whatever though, kudos to me for trying at least. I don't see anyone else putting their hands on the fire for this. Thus I ignore them and maintain eye contact with Ardyn Izunia. He chuckles but doesn't comment on what I just said in the way I thought he would "Certainly. Besides, I don't see a problem since the quicker the announcement is made, the sooner the celebrations will begin. The last thing on people's minds will be studying. I'm sure you'd agree with me, wouldn't you?"
I flinch; the phantom feeling of a slap overwhelms me. My fake smile keeps plastered on my face though.
"Right" I say weakly and clench tightly the fist behind my back, the damned wrist throbs and it's hard not to turn and look at Noctis like the lovesick fool I am.
We stay like that for an eternity-me staring hopelessly at the chancellor and him scanning my tortured, sweaty face. The longer I stare, the more I feel like I'm staring into a deep abyss. Is everyone in Niflheim like this? Guess that if I'm lucky, I'll never have to know.
Interrupting the awkward standoff, King Regis says "It's settled then. Prompto Argentum will serve as your guide during your stay in Insomnia" The way he says my name, though. It feels like I'm being indirectly scolded by my father. If Noctis's dad was my father that is. This is getting weird. Shaking my head, I look at the floor and listen as the topic of conversation shifts to the Chancellors's sleeping quarters. His arrival had come out of the fucking blue so no one had prepared anything in advance. Thank Gods the palace has like four thousand of rooms available and I'm sure one can be spared for the purple haired man (is his hair purple? Red? What the actual hell, no one has hair that color- is it dyed?). The King says something along the lines of showing Ardyn to his room to which the chancellor replies by making a very mocking input about the King being extremely welcoming to strangers. I'm not really listening at this point; the loud beat of my heart won't let me.
I retreat into the safe house of my mind where my nerves try to chase after me. I stand in the middle of the hallway, frozen and locked inside my head. Because of this, I don't notice the King and Ardyn resume the tour or whatever it is that they had been doing before seeing me and the guys and when I dare to come back to the real world it's already too late. Silk or something similar to it rubs my arm as it passes, a brush of a naked elbow with a clothed one, bare fingers touch minimally, the small hairs on my arms stand on end. The Niflheim representative is walking by me! I feel my entire body turn to an iceberg as our shoulders bump; I swear I see him smile creepily at me before he disappears from my line of sight. The exuberating smell of strong cologne invades my nostrils and the hand that made contact with his tingles slightly, still recalling the instant ten seconds ago when he stood unbearably close to me.
Shiiit, what was that about?
I hold in the shivers, look with big worried eyes at the King that also walks by me but, differently from Ardyn, he does not invade my personal space nor seems to ignore the wide dimensions of the hallway that allow him to move without brushing against anybody. He doesn't look at me, however. He merely throws a glance over his shoulder at Noctis that looks as frozen as I feel. This is enough to shake him into action and my…. And Noctis trots to his father's side without making any sound. For a moment, our eyes meet and I'm again back in his arms, making out in his room, not knowing how to tell him I have loved him since the first time we met in middle school, my chubby hand clasped in his slender one and those beautiful orbs stealing every semblance of rationality out of me.
We, us, everything happened so fast, that now that I think about it we never actually sat down and talked about what was going on between us, we just let it be. I let it be.
Noctis is the one that breaks our staring contest, his face a mask of indifference as he turns his back on me and follows the King's ensemble with Ardyn and his dad leading. My stupid, traitorous heart constricts painfully in my chest and I search for Ignis through blurry eyes, hoping he'll comfort me or help me. I don't even know what I want anymore. What I find is Ignis saying something to Gladio in a low voice, so low I'm not able to hear him, just see the quick movements of his lips as he forms words. Great time to remember I suck at reading lips. His hand is on Gladio's shoulder and both their expressions are grim. Once he's done, his hand drops from the taller man's shoulder and he leaves me alone with Gladio in the hallway, walking in the same direction the now small figures of Noctis and his father have taken.
Gaze chasing after Ignis, I have a strong urge to claw at my arms (at the wrist), rip them open until I can see the white bone underneath. I'm clearly not in the best mental state I could be in. I bury my face on my leather clad palms and do that thing that involves half sobbing, half laughing, half hysterical acting. I sense movement to my left.
"Prompto…" Gladio says softly and okay, he is only soft 20% of the time and it usually has to do with his sister, Iris, so that means this is serious. He considers me pathetic enough to treat me this way. Great.
A hand falls in between my shoulder blades and pats me awkwardly, palm completely open and heavy. It hurts me more than what it does comforting me but it's the thought that counts-my mouth involuntarily turns up in a smile. Gods, is this how Gladio treats Iris when she's down? Then I can see why she prefers to unwind with Ignis than with her own brother, he's clearly not used to this.
"I'm really sorry, Noctis can be-"
"Gladio, it's okay" I lower my hands and show him my sad excuse of a smile."He's obviously done with me. I mean, seriously why did I even bother coming here? I knew how it would end from the start"
The tattooed man shakes his head "It's not okay. The way he acted was cowardly and idiotic. He should've-"
"He should have ended things, I know"
Gladio grunts, he has run out of patience with me "Would you stop interrupting me, pretty please? Before I hit you?"
I shrug, shoulders tensed and lips pursed.
"The future King can be an asshole. You should know that better than most, you're his best friend after all" I open my mouth to retort but I remember the impending threat and close it "I'm not putting up excuses for him, if that's what you're thinking. All I'm going to say is that wasn't the way to do things. You did not deserve that, especially if he was the one who started it. He owed you that much"
"But?" I lick my dry lips, shaking where I stand.
" 'But' what?"
"Up till now, I've heard you and Specs talk about how he was wrong cutting me off like he did or criticize how he acted towards me" I examine his scarred face, searching for that sign of disapproval I've been expecting to see from the time Noctis and I climbed on this sinking ship.
"And? What about it?"
"What would you have done in his place?" I ask abruptly. The way he's looking at me as I voice the question is the way he'd look at a kicked puppy on the roadside. His wide fingers on my back are warm and a welcome weight but at the same time they feel like a burden. I swallow and ignoring my wounded everything, I continue "Would you have rejected me? Would you have chosen to-to- to"
My throat closes off, I feel a tie wind inside it preventing me from expressing my disconnected thoughts but Gladio seems to understand anyway. "Honestly?" he asks and he sounds exhausted, a tired dad dealing with his unruly children. I nod but hold my breath for impact because I know he is not one to be merciful in anything he does. He might be kind and soft when there's need but he's not one for babying anyone, not even me.
"Honestly"
"I wouldn't have started it. Noctis is a grown up man, he ought to know it wouldn't have gone anywhere. Engaging in a relationship with you would have only led to the both of you being hurt in the end. And it did, sort of. If he had been anyone else, sure, why not. Be corny idiots together, no problem. But he is the prince and he has responsibilities to see through. And…"
He drifts off. I'm already holding in the tears pooling at my eyes. Gods, he didn't pull back any punches, it hurts like I was just stabbed by a mad Garulessa a dozen times in the exact same spot. He's not finished though, so I breathe in deep.
"I know you'd prefer to hear this part from him directly rather than from me but even you must know he loves her"
Ah, there it is. Sweet, sweet pain, drown me in your clear waters for I don't think I can resist you any longer. Yes, I want to say. Yes, of course I know. There is no way in this world that I would miss Noctis's feelings for the Oracle, how long he has held a touch for her, how long he has yearned for her company. I'm the one that is an outsider; I'm the one standing between him and his dream.
"I'm not stupid, Gladio. I'm very aware of what he feels for Lady Lunafreya"
She was the one who brought us together, now she is the one taking him from me. If I hated her my life would be easier, but how can I hate her when she's so.. so kind, so pure hearted, the perfect match for my beloved Noctis?
He clasps me by the shoulders, tightly as if keeping me tied to the now "Prompto, I'm not saying he doesn't love you. And I don't blame you either for what happened. He would have to be incredibly oblivious to not have noticed how much he means to you or how much it would have destroyed you if he decided to end things. So I blame him for still doing it anyway"
He tells me more things but my ears have stopped working. It's ironic how every word uttered by him just now has made me feel worse, has cemented the fact that this was a foolish thing to do, that everyone knew how I felt and yet… Was everybody laughing at me? Were they all looking at me so obviously in love with the prince and made fun of my feelings? Did they joke about how dumb it was of me to expect anything from him? I hate this so much! I lean my forehead against Gladio's broad shoulder, tears sliding slowly at last. He stops talking, the hands on my shoulders hover there, unsure of how to proceed. He has made a terrible job of it, of this whole comforting deal but I'm satisfied with his presence alone. That's what counts. That's all that matters. He decided to stay with me.
I break down with him as my only support…)
After that moment of vulnerability in the hallway, he walked me to the room I usually stay in when Noctis invited me to sleepover-I say invited because I don't see that happening again anytime soon-given that I don't see the point in leaving if I'll have to return tomorrow to take Chancellor Asshole on that little trip around the city. And I have basically stayed cocooned here for the rest of the day. When Ignis came by to tell me to join them at dinner I told him I wasn't really hungry and that I preferred to stay inside and have some juice, fed him some bullshit lie like that. He stared at me in obvious disbelief but said nothing else and left me to my own devices.
Since then, I've been driving myself insane buried in my own misery, trying to sort out how I feel and what I'm supposed to do next. Laying on the bed, I have managed to see the events from a more objective point of view, more or less, and I have come to the conclusion that despite my reluctance to do so I'll have to speak to Noctis somehow. This is nowhere near over.
As I think that, I hear a confident knock on the door. Immediately, I bounce up, hair ruffled and messy, locks falling over my eyes. I rub the back of my fists on my tired eyes and wonder who on Eos could be knocking on my door at this hour. I've already had my quota of heart to heart's for the day filled so I'm guessing it can't be Ignis or Gladio. There is only one alternative and its funny how at the mere idea my heart drops like a weight to my stomach. However, my fear was entirely unfounded because when I open the door- nervous anxiety clouding my better judgment and sweaty hands- it's not the black haired prince I expected to see the one standing outside my room.
I get a glimpse of maroon hair, a hat and extravagant clothes before I'm greeted by a husky voice.
"Good evening, Prompto Argentum. I'm so sorry for bothering you at this hour. May I come in?"
