Another one bites the dust. How one woman found her purpose in guiding dying teens through their last moments on earth.

Midway, British Columbia – "It's not easy, but we make it work", are the words Siobhan Sadler (47) gives when asked what her life, taking care of 16 teenagers with fatal diseases, is like. She says it with a smile, and a moment later scolds one of the teens for jumping around between some stones in the garden. The young girl's life is already cut short. No need for pushing her luck.

The kids, ranging in the ages from 13 – 17, ten girls, six boys, have all arrived at this place without any hope to ever return home. Despite the heavily filled medical cabinet and quite an amount of further medical equipment, this is not a hospital. It is a hospice. And what a difference that makes.

A place like the one Sadler has been running since five years is – although not singular – rare. "We've had children from all other the world", recalls the widow, who opened the institution after witnessing a young adult whither away in the hospital, "Germany, France [you name it]... Unfortunately, they are not with us any longer." Indeed, most teenagers come to stay forever and when they do leave it is usually in the hearse.

As far as education goes, home school is available to all of them. However, subjects and length of their studies are completely up to the children themselves. "We offer various activities, but we won't make them do [anything]. They all have days on which school just isn't the thing for them. I don't see why [in their last months] I would make them do something they're not interested in", Sadler explains her philosophy. A reasonable decision given the fact that they will not be able to ever work anyway.

Not really a hospital, not really a boarding school - so what is this place that parents can send their teenagers to, when all hope for a cure is lost? "I'd like to consider it their last home. A place they will be happy to be at.", hopes Sadler. A place they will be remembered at when they are long gone. Not only from the house they once used to call home, the hospital they once used to call hope, but the earth they once used to walk upon and now rest ben-

Cosima's lecture ends abruptly when the paper is pulled out of her hands. Just like that.

Yet it doesn't take her by surprise. Not as much as it would have four months ago when she first arrived.

Only slightly startled, she turns around slowly to – casually – check out whoever grabbed it from her grasp.

It's Beth, forehead adorned with a frown and the fresh bruise from when she actually did trip running on the stones. In her defence: it was very wet out yesterday.

"Now that's a load of crap."

Cosima shrugs. "I guess so."

Beth continues reading, Cosima watches in silence. There's another bruise on Beth's throat. Or so she says. To Cosima it looks more like a hickey. But then, Beth bruises easily. In the past seventeen weeks Cosima has not once seen her without any bruises. So, it might actually be a bruise (but really it's not and who does Beth think she's kidding?).

"S won't like this", Beth says.

"I guess so", Cosima agrees.

Beth raises an eyebrow, annoyed. "Are you even listening?"

"Yeah... yeah, of course." She is. Was. Stopped, though. And for a good reason.

She had been so focused on reading she didn't notice Delphine come in and plop down in the egg chair by the window. The French is wearing a comfy sweater, 'tis the season, tights and a skirt riding halfway up her upper thighs as she pulls up her legs to put the book she's reading down to rest on them-

"Oh my god."

Oops. Beth has followed her gaze, apparently. Her sigh says so. Cosima can't help the grin creeping up her lips. She hasn't felt so alive since – well, not so long, really. But still.

Beth settles onto the sofa next to her. Weirdly enough that she's waited until just now. It's far more comfortable to read sitting down. Besides, there's all the opportunities of propping up legs and skirts riding up said legs – damn it, Cosima!

When the older girl speaks to her again it's in a whisper. "Why haven't you made a move already? It must have been weeks."

Months. Now it's Cosima's turn to sigh. Because Beth's not the first to ask her this question. And she most certainly won't be the last. Hell, Cosima's been asking herself this question a thousand times (or maybe a hundred, who keeps count). The stupid article, for what it's worth, is true about one thing: time is not in their favour.

So, why doesn't she?

The answer is simple. As simple as it's selfish.

She doesn't want to hear Delphine's views on the matter. She doesn't want to be turned down and she doesn't want her to reciprocate her feelings.

What Cosima wants is this:

She wants to have a crush. She doesn't want a broken heart. She doesn't want a relationship. She wants to hold on to what could be, rather than know what can't, what isn't.

She shrugs. "Dunno. It's just... never the right moment, you know?"

"Sure." In the way Beth drags it out it really doesn't sound like she's sure. Well. Whatever. She's getting up anyway. "Gotta dash -'lena wants to join in on Allie's crafts today." That's basically war. "Do you mind if I take this up to S?" Georgia Straight rustles as it's waved through the air.

Cosima's eyes wander. Stop on Delphine, who's just pushing a stray strand of golden hair behind her ear. "No... No, I really don't mind."

"I wish we could have a picnic", Helena mumbles, her brown eyes wistfully gazing out of the picture windows.

"It's too cold out, meathead", Sarah tells her gently.

Weirdly enough, Helena doesn't correct her at the unwanted pet-name, just keeps on staring. Out of the window, to the gate that's usually closed, but open today. Open to let the cars come through. The cars carrying their parents.

Well. Not theirs, obviously. Not Sarah's and Helena's. They don't have those.

Sarah bumps her shoulder against her sisters, roughly. They are like this. "Save this staring for the big screen, will ya?" It's supposed to make Helena laugh. She doesn't laugh.

"Oh c'mon..." The way she doesn't laugh worries Sarah, she'd never admit it out loud, though. "Aren't you excited to see the movie? Eat lots of popcorn and nachos?"

The blonde sighs heavily and, in a way, this is worse than no reply at all.

Cosima sitting on the staircase, legs dangling down between the banister, can't relate to the twins' pain today. She's glad her mother is not coming. If she had it would have confuted Cosima's theory. The biggest fear of every scientist.

But no. Theory still intact. She's dead to her family. And it doesn't bother her, not a lot, not anymore. (Maybe it's better like this – losing your family after knowing them all your life – than whatever happened to the twins.)

"Jesus, Ira, she won't even look at your goddamn tie!" There's no need to look up for Cosima to know that it's Tony thumping down the stairs. Tony's also on the cinema trip fraction. His parents basically abandoned him when he came out to them (basically in this case means, cut him out of their insurance and dropped him off at the hospital). There's little to no chance of them spontaneously showing up.

Tony plops down next to her. "Ira has tried like seventeen ties already." He shakes his head. "It's not like they're going to a photo shooting."

"Their mom is pretty involved, isn't she?"

He shrugs. "It's a bit late for that, don't you think? For Rachel that is."

In return, Cosima shrugs. She doesn't know a lot about Rachel. Only that she's been to some pretty fancy boarding schools (Dye? Ded? Something like that.) teaching her all the right lingo for all those high society situations. But apart from that? She didn't even know Ira and Rachel were related before yesterday (never mind brother and sister).

Thank God Tony changes the topic. Probably wise. They would've quickly run out on material. "What's up with them?"

She follows his gaze to where the twins are standing, completely still, staring out of the window. "I guess Helena isn't taking this whole family-visit-thing too well."

"Thing two probably misses Tom and Lisa more than Jesse does himself."

"His parents?" Rachel isn't the only one Cosima doesn't know a lot about. She also lacks knowledge in the department of Helena's boyfriend, Jesse (for starters she doesn't know: his last name, his eye colour (the cap gets in the way), or how he got into the wheelchair... well, anything really).

"Used to come by every second weekend to take him back home. Her too, sometimes. They even did a few nice trips." Tony looks away. She doesn't suppose anyone ever stopped by to take him on any trips.

"What happened?", Cosima asks, just to keep the conversation going.

Her friend (or is he?) shrugs. "Tom lost his job, Jesse his ability to walk. They had to sell the car and move. They skype once a week, that's it." The way he says it tells Cosima so much more than all the new information about Jesse (at least the wheelchair thing is cleared – illness related, she could have guessed), but she isn't going to be a pain about it. Tony will tell her in his own time. Maybe. Surely.