A/N: Lets see who is still reading this POS lol. Yes, it's a REAL update. 3
Chapter 4: Confessions
Finding time to be alone together was getting easier. Almost as if it was creating itself. Mello knew that BB and Naomi were indeed helping create excuses for them to slip away unnoticed. However, Matt was unaware that the couple knew about them. To say he was suspicious would be wrong though. Beyond was actually getting a little tired of dancing around the subject, and decided it needed to be remedied as soon as possible.
"Bitch!" B screamed as his character, Samus, went flying off the screen, leaving him with one life left.
"Don't fuck with my Pikachu, man!" Matt laughed as he went straight for the attack once Samus was back on the screen. They battled back and forth, B only able to take a life from Matt when his phone buzzed on the table, causing him to look down at it momentarily. "Fuck!" He scrambled in a futile attempt to stop the inevitable.
"Maybe you should pause so you can answer your boyfriend." Beyond teased. Matt rolled his eyes before deciding to go all out and take B's last life.
"Or I could just kill you." He stated matter of fact before reaching to read the message on his phone.
"You're late!" Mello had written. Matt smiled to himself before closing his phone. He started to get up to make an excuse when B's next sentence stopped him.
"Tell Mello I said hey." The simple and nonchalant sentence caused ice to grip at Matt's heart. But he tried to hide the fear with a fake smile and laugh as he turned to his best friend.
"What are you talking about? I'm not-"
"Save it!" Beyond was suddenly on his feet an facing the gamer. No one else was currently around and he had decided enough was enough. "Who was the one person who knew about my feelings for Naomi from Day 1, even when I was in denial? Who was the one person who encouraged me to go for it, even when I was afraid? You were there for me through so much, man! Not even just Naomi. Life itself. And you think that you can hide something so huge from me?!" He blew up. Matt stood there in his stupefied state just staring at him for a moment. Finally, his face dropped to look at the floor and he felt like he was going to puke.
"You don't understand B. It's not the same. What if it doesn't work out? Where would that leave everybody?" It was the closest he'd get to admission at the moment, but Beyond was willing to take it.
"Bullshit." He called the red head out, causing him to snap his eyes back up. Beyond remained unphased, face appearing stoic and stern. "Don't give me that shit, Matt. I said the same thing to you about Naomi. You didn't let it fly with me either. Let's be real, man. The real question you're afraid of is, What if it does work out?" Matt shook his head in denial.
"Working out would be great. Not working out.." He trailed of as B shook his head in annoyance. Mat sighed deeply. "What if we didn't, B? Misa would be in a fucked position. The band would be in a fucked position. We have all worked so hard.." He trailed off again, plopping back down onto the couch. Beyond sighed as well, settling down next to him.
"Matt, it was obvious from day 1 that you two were hardcore into one another. Watching you both have to fight that because you were with Near of all people.. You were too nice. He's a dick, but maybe him cheating was a fucked up gift in disguise. Because right now, this is the happiest I have ever seen you." Matt scoffed at his words, taken aback. Beyond reached up and covered his mouth, "Let me finish, Matt." The red head nodded and B backed off, getting comfortable in his seat.
"I never liked seeing you with Near. You're such a passionate person. In everything you do that you love. Yet with Near, you were detached. Almost like you were going through the expected motions and wearing this mask to pretend you were happy. But that smile never reached your eyes with him. You wouldn't even give him a second glance if you had to chose between him and gaming or him and music. And yet any opportunity you get to bail in the middle of a game with me, you run out that door to meet up with Mello. I honestly can't understand why you don't think you care for him as deeply as you do." Beyond explained slowly. Matt took a moment to gather his thoughts.
"It's not that I don't see how much I care, B." Matt laughed bitterly. "It's that I know I do." He admitted softly. Realization rushed over Beyond like a tidal wave, and he pushed him that little bit to completely open up to him.
"What exactly, are you so afraid of, Matt?" His voice was calm and even. A hint of genuine curiosity was there, even if he thought he already knew the answer. Matt groaned and ran his fingers through his hair roughly.
"What am I not afraid of?!" He exclaimed, standing up and beginning to pace. "Like I said, what if it doesn't work? After everything we have been through. What if he cheats on me too?" He admitted, causing Beyond to chuckle.
"We all know Mello would never do that to you, man. He's not the type. Sneaking around is killing him cause he hates secrets." Beyond explained. Matt stopped pacing and looked over at his best friend.
"What if he doesn't feel the same way, B? What if this is all just fun to him, and one day he'll realize he's done with me?" Beyond sat silent for a moment, taken aback slightly at the truth to Matt's words. His legitimate fear finally surfacing. He slowly stood once more to face his emotional wreck of a best friend and reached out, placing his hands on his shoulders.
"He does." He stated simply, hurrying to go on before Matt could interrupt. "Mello wouldn't have even considered doing this secret relationship period if he didn't. He's too impulsive for this shit. The dude got his junk tattooed for your ass, and you want to question if he cares? Are you stupid?! The real concern you need to have is how much longer can he take it? You've been jerking him around for the better part of a year now. Don't let something so good slip through your fingers because you are being a little insecure! Man up and fucking show him you care and let him show you!" He resisted the urge to literally shake Matt. A buzzing went off again and Matt's attention was brought to his phone once more.
"Seriously.. 5 minutes to respond or I'm gone. Been here all day and I'm sure you're playing Smash with B.." Was the text from Mello. Matt's heart stuttered in his chest as he read it. Beyond was right. How much longer would Mello subject himself to this waiting game? Especially when he gave him no reason to be patient any longer.
"Go, Matt." He was brought out of his revere as Beyond nudged him away. "At the very least know you can count on me to be there for you two and just give him a little reinforcement of your feelings. Don't let him slip away." Matt nodded slowly to himself, typing out a quick, "On my way now." to Mello.
"Thanks, B." He croaked out.
"Anytime, brother." Matt nodded and swiftly headed out the door, mission in mind.
(-line-)
Matt found Mello lounging on his couch, looking bored when he walked into his own house. "Thank zelda, you're still here." He panted out, having rushed all the way here to catch Mello before he left. He watched icy blue eyes roll, Mello's entire demeanor giving way to the extent of his annoyance.
"Of course I am." He said, exasperated. "Though I don't know how much longer I should stay since our plans are basically shot, and I'm pretty annoyed with you at the moment. But I didn't want you to think I walked out on you or anything." He admitted, not looking at the red head at all. Matt felt his heart clench as the realization of Beyond's words struck him. How much longer could he expect Mello to wait for him?
"I'm sorry." Matt walked forward, dropping down to his knees in front of the blond. Receiving a surprised look, he couldn't contain a breathy chuckle before continuing. "I know, I ask for a lot of patience, Mels. Fuck, you're a saint for putting up with everything I need you to like you have. I didn't realize until I got some sense knocked into me by B that I'm being so selfish." Mello cocked an eyebrow at him.
"B?" He questioned, almost fearfully. Matt shushed him and nodded.
"Yes. I know that he knows." He stated. Mello looked on in fear, but Matt silted at him reassuringly. "It's ok. I'm ok with B knowing." He spoke evenly, a slight hint of fear showing through. Mello sat up straighter, suddenly afraid.
"I didn't-" He was cut off by a pair of lips attaching to his own this time.
"I know, Mello. I know you'd never betray my trust like that." Matt bit his lip as he pulled back to stand. Fear gripped his heart, even if he knew it was unfounded. "I'm still not ready to tell the world, Mels. Hell, I'm not even ready to tell the rest of the band yet, to be honest." He watched Mello slightly deflate at the news, so he sat down next to him and took his hands in his own.
"Mello.. I'm sorry I'm not ready. But, I am ready to be open and honest about why with you." This got his attention, and blue locked with green. "I'm sure you know the reasons I've given. What if it doesn't work out. What about the band? All that. Also the Near shit kinda fucked me up. But I really do think B knocked some sense into me. I'm afraid, Mello. Not just of what if it doesn't work out. But also of what if it does? I'm afraid that I'll fall for you only for you to not feel that way and be left heart broken again. What if we go years before you realize that you can do better, and-" Matt's rant was cut off by Mello's lips, the taste of salt flooding both their mouths, making him realize for the first time he was crying.
"Damn, you are dense sometimes, Matty." Mello chuckled once their lips parted. "That ship has sailed, long ago. I love you, Matt. And I know you can't say it in return at the moment. That's ok. But Matty, I'm not going anywhere. No matter how annoyed or impatient I may get, I'll keep waiting for you. I know you're worth it." Matt had no words to respond with, so he responded the only way he could think of.
His lips reconnected with Mello's as his arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close as fingers ran through blond tresses. "Take me to bed, Mels." He whispered against his lips, causing his lover to jump up to comply. Matt may not be ready for the others to know, but their feelings were now laid out for the other to view, and Mello had no doubt in his mind that this was a step in the direction he wanted them to head in. And starting now, he was going to show Matt that he meant what he had said, proving to him that he was here to stay as long as the red head would allow him.
He lay Matt down on his bed gently, caressing his cheek with his fingertips as his thumb ran across his bottom lip. "Tonight, Mail, I make love to you." His lips descended and captured Matt's lips, swallowing the needy cry the redhead released as arms wrapped around his neck tightly.
"Show me, Mihael. Please." The gamer whimpered out as those gentle fingers ghosted his body, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. His body ached to the attention, and he knew in these small gestures, he felt more emotion from the man above him than he had ever felt from another person in his entire life. "Catch me," he whispered as icy blue eyes locked onto his emerald. Mello stared into them for a moment before smiling genuinely down at him.
"I'll always catch you." He reassured. They locked eyes a while longer, allowing the simple words to set in for them both. Mello waited patiently, giving Matt the time he needed to accept them. It felt like hours before Matt reached up and pulled the blond against him, but Mello didn't care. He'd wait forever..
(-tbc-)
A/N: Thanks to anyone who is still sticking with this story. I know it's been a long time, and I'm not going to sit here and get into all the details of why.. Just know that I am in a better place now, and my love for all my tics has never disappeared and I'm excited to get them going again.
