A/N: I'm updating this after the prologue. I'd feel bad if I didn't at least do this chapter. Well, go on! Read my dear! And please tell me if you died of laughter! I'd like you to, because this is the purpose of this story.

I hope you read the little poems at the beginning, they're a little summary of everything that happens in the chapter. At least, this one rythmes!


Ask the Gods: 1st act

Chapter 1: Interviews, high heels and babysitting

Athena is interviewed,

Hades's asking for a babysitter,

Percabeth is hated,

And Hephaestus's going mad at his brother.


Apollo was writing, as usual. As the god of Arts he could do some good writing. There wasn't just Athena that could do that!

Speaking of her, she wanted to ask a question in the newspaper.

All the Olympians wanted. Even Hades had a little message (he was seriously wondering if it was a prank, but Hermes told him that Nico had given the paper to him in his father's name. Well).

But, two hours later, he had done the first edition.

And gods, it was hilarious…


Apollo's hot News: The weekly edition.

New feature this week: see all the questions and little messages of the gods for each other!


This week, we went to interview Athena, while she was writing in a mysterious book! Well, it didn't happen like we expected it to but, we did it for you dear readers!

Now, time to see what Athena hides!

Hermes: Hello Athena. Hey nice book… What are you writing?

Athena: Hermes stay away from that. And, why are you taking notes of everything I say?

H.: Readers of Apollo Hot Newswant some news from you, and I lost a bet with Apollo.

A.: Hermes, you do know that it isn't wise to bet with Apollo now? He is three thousand years old. He's not a child anymore.

H.: But I was so sure the Eiffel Tower was single!

A.: Wait what?! Anyways, you'll tell me after this. So what do you want to know about?

H.: Do you have any projects? I mean… Do you have any ideas of something that Hephaestus would like to build?

A.: Well, no. My inspiration is running low. It is disastrous, especially that I don't want to stay in the shadows for more time.

H.: And do you still disapprove of the Percabeth shipping?

A.: The what?

H.: Percy and Annabeth being to…

A.: *getting really mad* : DON'T. YOU. DARE.

H.: Ok, ok, I note, you still disapprove.

A.: *mumbles* This stupid, oblivious Barnacle Brains' son being with my adorable, intelligent daughter…

H.: Interesting… *notes everything Athena says*

A.: Hey! *books falls, showing doodles of what seems to be Percy, with hearts and…her?*

H.: This, is really interesting. *notes it down and runs for his life*

A.: Hermes, you're so going down! *chases him*

Fortunately, I survived to tell you all of this, my dear readers! I love you all!

-Hermes


Next, we asked the gods to tell us some of the most embarassing things they had seen.

For this one, we went to interview Hephaestus… It happened. Well. I think.

Apollo: Hello brother! I'm here to…

Hephaestus: It's for your newspaper?

A.: You understood it all. The subject of our article is "tell us the most embarassing thing you saw (the most embarassing thing but something that children can read!)"

H.: Well, there was that time. I saw Hermes one day, flirting with a nymph. So, I followed him, and then they went to a restaurant. I went into the restaurant too. But then I remembered that he didn't seem really himself. In fact, it was a bet from Aphrodite, but I didn't know that. So, well, I saw them kiss, and then a girl asked me: "For the twentiest time, can you please tell me what you want?!"

I was so embarassed. So, I told the waitress that I didn't want anything, and she then suggested that I tried to find love instead of staring at them like that. I swear, I could feel my cheeks burning!

A.: I know how it feels! Dear bro, you're in that club now!

H.: And then, just as I made a move to exit the restaurant, someone (a mortal woman) walked on my feet. With high heels.

A.: Ouch. I feel bad for you bro.

H.: Thank you, because it hurts like Hades! *thunder rumbling* Sorry Uncle! Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah, she was in high-heeled shoes. And well, I literally just jumped three feet in the air and screamed! A very manly scream, irony is dripping out of my words.

A.: You're welcolme bro. Wait, what? You know irony?

H.: You're more surprised that I know irony than that I screamed and jumped high?

A.: But I didn't expect that!

H.: Apollo… You're acting childlish right now!

A.: But, what?

H.: And oblivious.

A.: I don't under…

H.: DROP THE ACT APOLLO! *screams*

A.: Ok, bye bro! *runs*

And this is how it ended. I still don't know what he was talking about. I'll be asking Athena about this some time.

-Apollo


And now, the little announces and questions.

Let's see what our favorite relatives asked us!

Question 1: How did you get this inspiration Apollo? I need some.

-Athena

Well, Athena, that's simple. I visited the mortal world and searched for myself.

Question 2: Dear nephew, can I have the next interview? Because it's bugging me that Athena will be talking in this edition, I need to talk in the next one! Exprim myself!

-Poseidon

We'll see, Uncle P. We can let the readers decide if they want it or not!

Question 3: Why, on Tartarus, is everyone cursing by my name? I mean, I want some respect!

-Hades

Well, Uncle H, let's all swear by Uncle P's name. We'll see if he protests, and if he does within the 24h after the publication of this, we'll say sorry next time.

Question 4 :Why am I always the humiliated one?

-Hephaestus

Let's just say that we make fun of everyone once in a while but you don't know about it.


And, now, the announces!

I search inspiration for my potions! Please! Be pitiful of a poor deity like me! –Hecate

/\

I'm currently searching someone to make sure Nico or Hazel is alright. I can't check on them everytime I'd want to and I need someone to do that job for me. Contact me by I.M if you want to talk about the job with me. –Hades

/\

Athena, please stop telling me that you're better. I'm better than you, you're so confident but I'm always better. –Ares

/\

Percy, I love you son (even if you're dating Annabeth) –Poseidon

/\

Annabeth, please stop dating this sea spawn, I mean, you can do much better than that! And he hates owls! AND NO, I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM –Athena

/\

I SHIP PERCABEEEEEEEETH! AND FRAZEL AND SOLANGELO AND JASPER AND TRATIE AND… EVERY COUPLE IN CAMP! I love you so much –Aphrodite


And it's the end of Apollo's Hot News! Stay tuned for another weekly publication!

-Apollo


I know, this wasn't fabulous, but, to be honest... I'm fine with it. I think, that the high heels thingy is hilarious, even if yeah, a friend told me that it hurts like Tartarus to see that someone walked on your feet with high-heeled shoes.

The Eiffel Tower story is true, you can search on the net. I think. But anyways, let's pretend it's real.

DON'T FORGET THE POLL!

Written with: Vox Populi, Do or Die by 30 Seconds To Mars

Yours in demigodishness,

-FF


1342 words.