I don't know when, but I fell back against the wall behind me and slid down until I sat on the tiled floor. Breathing evenly, I rubbed my temples tiredly and yawned. How many times had I woken up last night? I could only remember two, but it must've been more. It felt like I'd been trying to walk through fog, expecting something ahead and finding something completely different from what I'd expected. My hands were cold as I stopped to press a palm against my forehead. What was I doing now? Serenity, she'd probably still be home. I should call her, I should see if she's alright. Rain too. If that repairman had come last night. Pushing myself to my feet, I glanced in the mirror one more time before walking out of the room and making straight for where I knew the phone was.
It kept on ringing and my fingers tapped softly against my leg as I waited. After a minute I hung up and paused before dialling Rain's number immediately after. It rang for five beats and I hung up. I placed the phone in the cradle quickly and almost hit my head against the wall for it. Where were they?
---
Serenity showed up at around 10:00, looking frazzled and angry. By that time everyone was up, but the only people there were the three Curtis', the three girls, Two-Bit, and I. When I opened the door and found Serenity there, my mouth went dry. She was giving me the meanest glare and I couldn't understand why. I'd left a note, I'd tried calling. What else was I suppose to do? It was only me at the door, since everyone else was in the living room, and she whispered something I couldn't hear under her breath and then walked in breezily, a large smile on her face.
"Mom?" Sam asked and then jumped into the hug she was offering. Julie stood up to and walked over, worry crossing her delicate features.
"How's my mom?" Serenity answered with a nod and Julie broke out in a smile. It was obvious now that Rain was okay too.
"I can take you home now. " Serenity said, her eyes watching Julie. The little girl in question nodded and they both said goodbye to Emma before brushing past me out the door. There was the sound of car starting and then the engine fading away. Sighing heavily, I waved my own goodbye and started to walk out the door. I was intercepted quickly.
"You shouldn't be walking alone." Sodapop said, raising an eyebrow in my direction.
"I don't want to be a bother. It'll be okay, I can take care of myself." I said, crossing my arms over my chest in a 'leave me alone' look. Ponyboy was at my side in the next second and offered to walk me home.
"It's okay." I said, "You don't have to." He just shrugged and slung a coat on before following me out the door. On the sidewalk we walked beside each other, Ponyboy with his hands in his pockets and I with my arms down by my sides. The air was chilled and the cement was wet, as well as everything else, from the night before. There was still silence between us and I felt somewhat uncomfortable, I never did get use to walking with someone in complete silence thing.
"What classes do you have tomorrow?" I asked, his head snapped in my direction and I found myself marvelling at his eyes, they were lovely. He was also at least half a head taller than me, something which slightly bothered me. Sure, I liked tall guys, but it was still amusing to tell someone your taller than them and watch as they get angry. I smiled at the memory, but I think Ponyboy thought I was smiling at him since he still hadn't said anything. His ears went slightly red and he looked away, muttering his classes under his breath.
"That's right." I said, we only had one class together and that would be on Tuesday. There was that silence again and although I felt comfortable in it, I wish he'd say something.
We passed a yard with a whole bunch of kids playing in it, laughing and tagging each other. When was the last time I played a game of tag or anything like that? I think I did when I was little. A grin came over my face and I turned to Ponyboy. I wanted to be a little kid right now.
"You're it!" I yelled, touching his arm before running on ahead. For a second, I thought he wasn't going to follow and completely ignore me, but when I turned back to see, he was there. Closer than I had expected too, so I sped up or tried too. It was doubtful I could outrun him, he was on the track team, but I could still try. My house was a block ahead, but I turned early and almost slipped as I did. I headed for the park and almost got to the fountain before I felt his hand touch my back and then as I went to stop, his body plough right into mine. We didn't fall, but his breath hit my shoulder and I froze. He stepped away quickly and when I turned around to watch him, breathing heavily, he was barely panting and grinning.
"Now you're it." Maybe he wanted to be a kid too, I thought this with a smile and ran at him. He jumped and started to run away, I knew he wasn't running his fastest because I was one of the slowest runners around and I was managing to just barely get closer. I almost reached him when he turned and I slid while trying to do the same. Landing on my hand and right leg, I winced and an evil idea formed in my head. Moaning, I clutched my leg and shut my eyes trying to look like I was in pain.
"Are you okay?" He sounded extremely worried and guilt fluttered through me, but I kept it up and got to my feet, seeing him right beside me. Then, I reached out with my hand and tagged him all the pain gone. Astonished was the only look on my face and I didn't have time to think about running away before laughter took over my whole body.
"That wasn't funny." He said, although I could hear amusement in his voice. Giggling, I fell to the ground onto my knees and felt them immediately soak through, but I didn't care. After my hysteria was done, I accepted the hand he offered me and we got started back on root to my house.
"I won." I said after a few moment of silence. He scoffed.
"By cheating."
"But I won none the less." I smirked and he gave me his best glare which I just smirked at more. Within the next few seconds we were in a staring contest, my eyes glaring at his glaring ones. I blinked and I could almost hear him smirk. Huffing, I started walking again and he caught up once again, walking only a few more steps before we were in front of our house.
"Thanks." I told him before starting to walk up my driveway at a fast pace, not daring to look back at him.
----
The next day I woke up late and it just had to be a school day too. Serenity had said she would get Sam up and ready to go to school that day and they were both gone by the time I woke up. My alarm had failed to go off, so now I had to hurry around the house, hitting basically everything in my path, at double the speed. I missed breakfast and forgot to get money or pack a lunch. My shoes were stubborn that day, they wouldn't tie up. Eventually, I ended up running to school, normally a 20 minute walk and I had 15 minutes to get to class. I ran out of stamina and had to stop, panting heavily. When I did reach the school, the grounds were deserted and I swore in my head before walking through the front doors and straight into my classroom.
The teacher had been in the middle of a lecture and looked up at me as I walked in, rolling his eyes.
"Sit down Ms. Richards and we'll be continuing with this class, I will speak to you after the period." Hurrying to my desk, I sat down and listened as intently as I could without appearing overly interested. I was sitting by myself that day and my science teacher kept glancing at the seat next to me and then back at me before continuing with what he was doing. When he was passing out papers, he tried to talk to me, but I brushed him off and immediately started on the work before he could try to say anything else.
At the end of class I tried to pack my bag as quick as I could, but my teacher spotted me before I could leave and stood by my desk as I fiddled with a ring on my finger. It was my mothers, or had been. She'd given it to me at some point, I knew that much and I couldn't remember when or how, but I knew she'd been the one to give it to me. I was setting myself into a trance and started to forget about my teacher, who was standing right beside my desk.
"You were late, again." He said and I nodded, bringing myself away from the trance. There was a sense of knowing that if I agreed the quicker the sooner I would be able to leave.
"Care to tell me why?" I coughed and shook my head. Like telling him I slept in would help anything, I brushed some more eraser shavings off the table with my hand, waiting for his next question. It didn't come and when I looked up, he was frowning at me.
"I think you should see the school counsellor." My jaw tensed and I stumbled through my thoughts.
"What?"
"Obviously, you're having trouble dealing with your mothers death, your father leaving, and now your friend moving away." I blankly stared at him, wanting to hit him so bad.
"How did you know?" He looked surprised.
"Your guardian came and told the principal what had happened a year ago, all your teachers know." I gripped the desk tighter with one of my hands. They'd know. All of them had known. That's why they'd give me slack when I forget my homework, or when I forget something, or if I was a little late.
"I'll be calling your guardian about it."
"I'm not going." I said, putting my foot down. I didn't need to see a counsellor, I was doing fine dealing with everything.
"We'll see." He said and sat down at his desk, excusing me. I through my bag over my shoulder and took off out the door, ignoring him now completely.
Without any detours, I went straight to my locker and stuffed my bag in there, my face red and my hands shaking. It might not have mattered to any one else that they had all known, but to me it mattered to the world. No one was suppose to know, as soon as someone found it and everyone knew, it would all become real. That's where the pain was stored away, with the fact that no one knew. It was starting to leak now and I felt an empty feeling pulse in my heart, but I pushed it away.
The rest of the day was as it normally was, I had lunch with Katie, who hung out in the yearbook room, working on a spread for the newspaper. The room was used for both, since the staff was relatively the same for each group. We were the only ones in there that day however, everyone else was enjoying the fresh air and sun outside. Despite the rain two days ago, the sun was now out and shining through the window on me. When Katie had heard I had forgotten lunch, she'd given me her pudding and bought me a bottle of water. Normally, it was Kristy who bought me lunch when I'd forget it. Apparently, over the weekend she'd gone on a date with one of the football players and was with him at the jock table.
"How does this spread look?" Katie asked, her eyes probing me. I took a look and shrugged, but pointed out that I think she should put one of the articles before the other one because it fit better into the space and sounded like a beginning for the second one. After looking over it, she agreed with me and there was silence. It left me to my daydreaming.
I think Ponyboy might've been mad at me. When I saw him in the hall on the way to my next class, I opened my mouth to say something, but he hadn't even looked at me. When I'd called his name, he hadn't turned around either. On my way here with Katie, I'd seen him and tried once again to say hi, but once again was ignored.
"Who was that?" Katie asked, looking behind her to watch him go. I shrugged and told her it was no one. I knew she hadn't believe me in the least. After much pestering, I told her what had happened over the weekend, skipping some parts and she'd given me a look before letting the subject go. There was a large chance she would ask me about it later though.
Ponyboy couldn't be mad that all I'd said was 'bye' and left him there on the sidewalk. Maybe he actually was mad that I'd faked my leg injury. It didn't seem like something he would do. I didn't know him well, so maybe I was wrong to judge him that way. He probably hadn't seen me or heard me.
"All done." Katie said, slipping the finished product into a folder and slipping it into the desk.
"Don't I get to see it?" I asked, she shook her head.
"If you buy the paper you will." She laughed, knowing she would bye me the paper anyway. "You know, I still think you should join the paper. You use to write all the time." It had been countered at every moment when she asked me to join the paper, this time I thought about it. It would keep me away from the house and give me something to do, that was for sure. Katie was giving me a strange look, I usually shot it down right away. My sister was usually the reason too. I hadn't wanted her to think I was trying to take her place. Now, she never wanted to see me again and it made me realize I couldn't live my life based on her. It hurt she didn't want to see me, but I could go through with a few things now.
"Okay." I sighed.
"You really don't have to if you don't want." She said, smiling sadly.
"No I want to. What's with this? You want me to join and then when I say I will you tell me not too." I smiled. Hers widened and she grabbed my hands and we swung around in the office, laughing the whole way. Eventually, we got pretty dizzy and had to sit down, catching our breath.
"Finally!" Katie through her hands up in the air. "That took forever!" I laughed and sat forward, pretending to have a pen and paper in my hands.
"So, Ms. Green. What's it like to finally have beaten Camille's stubbornness?" Katie looked thoughtful and then replied extravagantly.
"Refreshing. This should really be documented in history." I pushed up imaginary glasses and scribbled on the imaginary paper.
"Yes, very interesting." I couldn't hold it in any longer and burst into laughter. The whole thing wasn't even that funny, but this release of happiness surged through my veins increasingly. My eyes watered and I held my sides as the laughter continued to ripple through my body.
"What are you doing after school?" Katie asked after we'd mostly gotten our laughter under control.
"Nothing, going home to be alone. Sam is going over to Julie's so I don't have to pick her up." I'd found the note taped onto one of my shoes that morning saying that there were going to be a bunch of girls over at Julie's for a sort of study group.
"Let's go to my house and hang out in Summer's pool." Katie grinned, unease twisted in my stomach, but I smiled anyway. Summer was a Soc, while Katie and I were both Greaser's. Of course, we never hung out at school, but we had this meeting place where no one ever was and we'd pick each other up and go over to the others house. Usually, it was Summer's, since there was so much to do there we never actually had to leave the house. There was always the chance we'd get caught and it always made me feel uneasy.
"Sure, does she know."
"Yeah, I was going over there anyway. She won't care." And we both knew she wouldn't.
---
We hopped into the car without opening the doors and Chelsea glared at us, while we both waved to Sarah. Sarah and Chelsea were both in on the 'us-breaking-the-Soc-Greaser-rival' rule. Sarah was Katie's older sister and drove us from where we were, picking us up when we called her too. She loved breaking rules, since she did it on a daily basis and seemed to like sharing our thrill of what's supposedly forbidden.
Chelsea was Summer's sister and when she was our age had gone through the same deal. Her best friend had been a greaser. At first, she'd been Soc, but after financial issues, had to go live on the greaser side. Chelsea was the only one that stayed around. She was the best person to talk to, especially about relationships, whether it be friends or boyfriends.
"Hey Summer." I said as I buckled up my seat belt. Smiling, she started a conversation and had eventually all of us laughing. As soon as we got into the more busy Soc territory, we all stopped. Only when the car was safely parked in the garage did we start up again. It wasn't life threatening, but the line between Soc and Greaser was a delicate thing to tamper with.
Return to Top
