Author's Note: Thanks again MC!
Chapter 9: Dirty and Clean
Agent Seth Williams stood over the corpse and placed his hands on his hips. The late afternoon sun glinted off the water of the nearby river, blinding him momentarily. Despite the sunshine, there was a chill in the air and a frigid breeze whipped the coat tails of his jacket out behind him. Already he could smell the sickly-sweet odor of the beginnings of decomposition. He debated about trying to reach Clarice on her cell phone, it was important to her to see fresh crime scenes, and decided against it. If she really did have a family emergency, and God knew she did not have much family left, then she had enough to deal with right now.
"Try to get as many visual details as possible," Seth told Ted Shelton, the crime scene photographer. "Clarice'll want to see everything."
Ted nodded and the strobe flash of the camera continued. Seth wandered over to where the Portland P.D. officers stood in a cluster, heads bent, stamping their feet to keep warm, speculating on the culprit of the grisly scene.
"Where's the woman who found the body?" Seth inquired.
The police captain stepped forward. "She's in my squad car, Agent Williams." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his car.
"Thanks Captain Ford," Seth replied and made his way to the car.
A young Asian-American woman sat in the rear seat of the squad car, sipping a cup of water provided by the officers. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her face was pale and drawn. She wore white sweat shorts and a navy sweat shirt. Her black hair was drawn back into a ponytail.
"Excuse me miss," Seth knelt down next to the open rear-seat door. "My name is special agent Seth Williams with the FBI and you are Moira Chang?"
The girl barely nodded. Seth put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I understand how difficult this is for you but do you think you can tell me how you found him?"
The girl looked at him and nodded slowly. She took a deep breath and began. "I come out here every morning to jog before classes, you know? I like to run next to the river and listen to the birds calling each other. It's usually deserted and quiet. I've been jogging this trail for the last two years and I've never had any problems." Moira paused. "I've certainly never seen anything like this."
"I know," Seth said softly. "Trust me, I've seen hundreds of crime scenes and it never gets easy to look at. It's okay. Just take a deep breath and continue."
Moira looked at him. "I was just running and I saw something at the edge of the river. The sun was glistening off of it so I couldn't tell what it was. I stopped, shaded my eyes, and then I saw. And that's it." She paused again and hung her head. "I didn't mean to throw up."
Seth smiled gently. "Don't worry about that. It's not a problem." He stood up. "Thank you so much, Moira. I'm gonna go talk to the police officers but if you think of anything else you think might have bearing to this case, please let me know okay?"
She nodded slightly again and sipped her water.
Seth walked back over to the officers.
"So this is another Hannibal Lecter victim, huh?" Captain Ford asked.
Seth looked at him. "It would appear so. Thank you for calling us, Captain. Of course we'll need all your initial findings so we can compare them with ours. Also, let that poor girl go home; she's been here all day. We've got her info in case we need to contact her again." The captain nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me," Seth said and moved away from the group.
Seth sighed. It had been almost a year since Dr. Lecter's last known murder. Since his escape five years ago, he had single-handedly tracked down and murdered 10 known sex offenders. At first, the FBI had thought they'd had a serial killer with a twisted agenda on their hands but Clarice had voiced an opinion that it was in fact Dr. Lecter.
"Oh come on, Starling," Michael Boyd, another Behavioral Science agent had argued. "It doesn't fit his MO."
"No it doesn't," Clarice acknowledged. "But I think in his own morbid way he's trying to assist us."
"What makes you think so?" Seth had asked.
"The cuts are thin and even, made by steady hands and someone either very calm, very experienced, or both. The weapon appears to be a stiletto knife, one of Lecter's weapons of choice. Major organs are missing, heart, kidneys, livers, assumably intended for future meals. We know that he has an aversion to rudeness, especially the overwhelming rudeness of sex offenders. And finally, every victim has the word 'Guilty' carved into his back. When Dr. Lecter was offering his assistance on the Jame Gumb, "Buffalo Bill", case, I remember one time he said to me 'In your heart of hearts, do you not hope, do you not believe that one day the guilty will all receive their day of reckoning?' I didn't think much about it at the time, but it certainly makes sense now."
Agent Boyd had shaken his head. "I don't buy it. In the past, he tended to stick to people he knew. He didn't randomly pick strangers. I don't think he'd change his MO. I really don't." He grinned. "I mean just because you have some kind of weird crush on Lecter doesn't mean he's the only one capable of such actions."
Clarice chose to ignore the last comment. "Think about it, Boyd," Clarice had argued. "He hasn't had patients in years, he most like has no ties really. Besides, like I said, I really think he's trying to help...in his own sick way."
The determining factor had been a note from Lecter himself. He had asked Clarice how she had felt seeing the word 'Guilty' on the victims' backs. That particular detail of the murders had not been made public in the fear that it would inspire copycat murders. Hannibal Lecter had then been declared by the FBI to be the suspect.
Now, as the 11th victim was fingerprinted, Seth shook his head and headed back to the crime scene.
Over the next seven days, Will's symptoms slowly decreased. The nausea, stomach cramps, chills, and headaches had lasted another day and then had been followed by a bitter acrid metallic taste in his mouth that could not be squelched, insomnia, intense back and neck pain, and the jitters. On several occasions, Will had begged Clarice to hand him a gun, tears streaming down his face.
Day five had been so excruciating that all he could do was kneel, wrap his arms around himself and rock back and forth. He couldn't sit too long, it hurt his back, he couldn't stand too long, he got leg cramps, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, minutes seemed to stretch out into hours and hours into days, all he wanted to do was die. Clarice had come into the room in the mid-afternoon with more pills and Gatorade because he hadn't eaten anything in days. She had found him on the floor in his kneeling position, rocking, holding his head in his hands and sobbing.
"Oh my God," she whispered. "Will, why didn't you call me?"
"Go away," he sobbed into his hands. "God just leave me alone."
She grabbed the bedspread off the bed, sat down beside him, wrapped it around him, and pulled him close to her. It killed her to see anyone in this kind of misery. He resisted at first, then allowed her to pull him close. He sank down and put his head in her lap. He pulled the bed spread over his head and continued his sobbing into it.
"Sshh," Clarice whispered to him gently rocking him back and forth. "It'll be alright." They had sat like that for hours.
The following day, his back and neck pain had subsided but despite the herbal medication, the jitters had set in with a vengeance. At noon, Clarice had carried a tray with some soup on it up to his room. He had been lying in bed and his arms and hands had shaken so badly, she'd had to feed him. Thankfully the soup stayed down and he had eaten almost the whole bowl.
That night, after another bowlful of soup, the jitters having subsided, Will freshly showered and changed into jeans and a white tee-shirt, Clarice smiled and declared him to be well on his way to recovery. Will smiled back bleakly.
"Yeah, thanks to you."
"How are you feeling?" Clarice asked him.
"Like I'm sick of soup," he chuckled. "No, seriously, I haven't felt this alive in years. I owe you big time. I have a difficult time saying thanks, but thanks." He paused and she nodded. "Hey, did you happen to buy any junk food when you went shopping?"
Clarice laughed. "Well.." She trailed off.
"Come, on, don't hold out on me. What'd you get?"
"Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I was saving it for when you got better."
"What flavor?" He asked with wide eyes.
"Chunky Monkey and Mint Chocolate Cookie," Clarice grinned sinfully.
"Well what are you waiting for, partner, go get it," Will laughed.
When Clarice came back into the room, Will was flipping through the TV channels. He stopped on one that was showing the movie "Dragnet".
"Oh man," Will laughed. "I haven't seen this movie in ages. I loved the TV show. When I was a kid, I wanted to be Joe Friday."
Clarice handed Will the carton of Chunky Monkey and a spoon and sat down on the bed next to him. "That was WAY before my time," she replied mischievously. She opened her Mint Chocolate Cookie and dug into it.
"Oh, whatever," Will retorted in between spoonfuls of ice cream. "You're not that much younger than I am."
Clarice feigned outrage. "What? Try about fifteen years, thank you very much." She paused. She glanced sideways at him. "Old man."
Will grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, okay," he chuckled. "I'm gonna remember you said that when I'm the one bringing Lecter in."
Clarice grinned and took another bite of ice cream. They sat together for a moment, watching the movie and eating.
"Will can I ask you something?" Clarice asked in between spoonfuls.
"What?" Asked Will through a mouth full of ice cream.
"What happened to your marriage?"
The spoon of ice cream paused halfway to Will's mouth briefly. He took a bite and chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "Well that's the question of the ages, Clarice," he smiled painfully at her. "I've been asking myself that same question for years."
Clarice looked at him and saw his pained look. She touched his arm. "Hey I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."
Will looked at her. "No, it's fine, you're just curious. Really, I don't mind talking about it." He sighed and shook his head slightly. "I guess after awhile my wife, Molly, just couldn't handle me bringing my work home." He chuckled slightly at his joke.
"You didn't bring it home with you, it followed you home," Clarice corrected.
"Same thing," Will said. "She couldn't handle it. I can't say I blame her. I mean, God, marriage is difficult enough without throwing a serial killer who holds a knife to your son's face into the mix. I have Dr. Lecter to thank for that, though." He looked thoughtful for a moment and took another bite of ice cream. "Of course my subsequent addictions didn't help our marriage either."
"Did she try to help you through that at all?"
"She did initially," Will nodded. "But in my stupidity I pushed her away. I was too proud and physically and emotionally hurt. I shut everyone out. Molly got fed up, took our son, and left and it's my own damn fault."
"I don't believe that," Clarice said. "Maybe if she would have just held on a little longer you two could've made things work."
"Could've, should've, would've," Will rolled his eyes. "It does no good to dwell on that shit, it'll just fuck with your mind."
"Well, at the very least you should be able to see your son."
Will closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "He does not want to see me," he replied quietly. "They're back at her folks place in Oregon and Josh won't even talk to me anymore. I think it's partly because of what he went through with Dolarhyde and I think it's also partly because I became an addict. I really miss him."
"Maybe at some point you should try to call him again. You're clean now, maybe that'll make some difference," Clarice said.
Will shrugged. "Maybe. God, he's nearly a grown man now. I think about him all the time. You know, I wonder what he looks like now, how tall he is, if he's playing football or taking art classes or if he's got a girlfriend." A small smile played on his lips. "Maybe you're right, Clarice. Maybe when all of this is over I should try calling him. I mean, hell, the worst he could do is hang up on me again. At least then I'd know."
Clarice took another bite. "So despite what happened with your first marriage, you think you'd ever get married again?"
Will shrugged. "I don't know. To be honest I don't think I could ever find a woman who would put up with me for very long. I don't think anyone will ever really be able to understand me and what I've been through thanks to my FBI days." He looked at her and grinned. "Why, are you asking me Agent Starling?"
"What? No!" Clarice laughed but Will noticed that her cheeks flushed slightly.
He laughed and took another spoonful of ice cream. "And what about you, Clarice? Do you ever think about getting married, having some kids, owning a big house in the suburbs, a dog and a white picket fence? You know, living the proverbial American dream?"
Clarice sighed. "I don't know. When I was younger, the only thing that mattered to me was my career. But now..." she trailed off. "Lately I wonder if I've made the right decisions in my life."
"It's difficult to remain loyal to a system that exploits your talents then turns it's back on you when you need it the most," Will replied softly.
"Exactly," Clarice nodded and looked at him. "Sometimes I wonder if in my ambition, I have given up my chances at having a family." She paused. "Now I'm afraid I'm too old to begin one."
"Please," Will scoffed. "Two minutes ago you were telling me how young you are, now you're too old?" He shook his head. "You're not too old, Clarice. But if that's what you really wanna do, then you need to start making plans to make it happen."
They sat for a moment, side by side, eating ice cream, and pondering the decisions they each had made that had brought them to this point.
"Besides," Clarice finally concluded, "like you said, I don't think I could ever find someone to put up with me, someone who could accept me for who I am just the way I am, faults and all." She paused and looked thoughtful. "Despite it's ending, your marriage did have its good times right?"
Will smiled sadly and nodded. "Yeah. When it was good, it was really good. After I'd retired from the FBI..the first time..when we were down in Florida, I've never been that happy. It was just Molly and Josh and me. And at night it was just Molly and me and that was even better."
Clarice smiled, leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes. "Shit, I'm sorry Will." She paused and he shrugged. "Sometimes it would be nice to just have someone to share my life with, you know? Someone I could talk to about my day and actually have him understand what I was dealing with at work, you know?"
Will looked at her. "I do know." He replied softly.
Clarice opened her eyes, and turned her head to look at him. They gazed at each other for a moment before Will glanced down at her ice cream.
"Hey partner, wanna trade?" He asked and smiled.
Clarice grinned and handed over her carton, taking his in return. She had to admit, it felt good to not only finally have a partner, but one who understood her.
To be continued. Please review!
Nan: Thank you! This is actually something I picked up from some of the other Star Wars FanFiction authors. Plus, I think that people who are kind enough to not only read but actually review my story should be thanked personally. I'm very appreciative of all feedback. Thanks again!
Kurt: Yes, I have seen "Trainspotting." I enjoyed the movie a lot but I must admit that the "swimming" scene was a bit gross!! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.
Shattered Mug: This fic cannot be good for your health? LMAO!!! Your reviews are always great! As far as Will not getting too close, I'm sure I'll get a page full of review from you after this chap!! Thanks so much and see ya next chapter.
guber: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm so glad you like the story.
LittleMy (Jenny): I had to laugh over your review! Yup, Hannibal's definitely obsessed with Clarice isn't he? Yes, SOTL is too awesome. My father and I went to see it when it originally came out and afterward we would always repeat the lines that Lecter said and the rest of our family had no idea!! It's too cool! As far as Hannibal killing Will...I'm not saying a word...you have to keep reading!! Hey thanks so much for your review (even if you were drunk!).
EyeSeeU: Aww, thanks for your kind review. When I originally read the book "Red Dragon" right after SOTL came out, the character of Graham intrigued me with how he was able to get into a killer's mind. I only wished that Hannibal had been given more print in the book but that's a different subject! Then, as you said, when I learned they were making the movie and that Ed Norton was playing Graham, I knew it would be excellent. Thanks again for reading and reviewing.
florence: Thank you for reviewing. I'm churning this story out relatively quickly (for me) because the ideas just keep flowing. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thanks again.
Chapter 9: Dirty and Clean
Agent Seth Williams stood over the corpse and placed his hands on his hips. The late afternoon sun glinted off the water of the nearby river, blinding him momentarily. Despite the sunshine, there was a chill in the air and a frigid breeze whipped the coat tails of his jacket out behind him. Already he could smell the sickly-sweet odor of the beginnings of decomposition. He debated about trying to reach Clarice on her cell phone, it was important to her to see fresh crime scenes, and decided against it. If she really did have a family emergency, and God knew she did not have much family left, then she had enough to deal with right now.
"Try to get as many visual details as possible," Seth told Ted Shelton, the crime scene photographer. "Clarice'll want to see everything."
Ted nodded and the strobe flash of the camera continued. Seth wandered over to where the Portland P.D. officers stood in a cluster, heads bent, stamping their feet to keep warm, speculating on the culprit of the grisly scene.
"Where's the woman who found the body?" Seth inquired.
The police captain stepped forward. "She's in my squad car, Agent Williams." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his car.
"Thanks Captain Ford," Seth replied and made his way to the car.
A young Asian-American woman sat in the rear seat of the squad car, sipping a cup of water provided by the officers. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her face was pale and drawn. She wore white sweat shorts and a navy sweat shirt. Her black hair was drawn back into a ponytail.
"Excuse me miss," Seth knelt down next to the open rear-seat door. "My name is special agent Seth Williams with the FBI and you are Moira Chang?"
The girl barely nodded. Seth put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I understand how difficult this is for you but do you think you can tell me how you found him?"
The girl looked at him and nodded slowly. She took a deep breath and began. "I come out here every morning to jog before classes, you know? I like to run next to the river and listen to the birds calling each other. It's usually deserted and quiet. I've been jogging this trail for the last two years and I've never had any problems." Moira paused. "I've certainly never seen anything like this."
"I know," Seth said softly. "Trust me, I've seen hundreds of crime scenes and it never gets easy to look at. It's okay. Just take a deep breath and continue."
Moira looked at him. "I was just running and I saw something at the edge of the river. The sun was glistening off of it so I couldn't tell what it was. I stopped, shaded my eyes, and then I saw. And that's it." She paused again and hung her head. "I didn't mean to throw up."
Seth smiled gently. "Don't worry about that. It's not a problem." He stood up. "Thank you so much, Moira. I'm gonna go talk to the police officers but if you think of anything else you think might have bearing to this case, please let me know okay?"
She nodded slightly again and sipped her water.
Seth walked back over to the officers.
"So this is another Hannibal Lecter victim, huh?" Captain Ford asked.
Seth looked at him. "It would appear so. Thank you for calling us, Captain. Of course we'll need all your initial findings so we can compare them with ours. Also, let that poor girl go home; she's been here all day. We've got her info in case we need to contact her again." The captain nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me," Seth said and moved away from the group.
Seth sighed. It had been almost a year since Dr. Lecter's last known murder. Since his escape five years ago, he had single-handedly tracked down and murdered 10 known sex offenders. At first, the FBI had thought they'd had a serial killer with a twisted agenda on their hands but Clarice had voiced an opinion that it was in fact Dr. Lecter.
"Oh come on, Starling," Michael Boyd, another Behavioral Science agent had argued. "It doesn't fit his MO."
"No it doesn't," Clarice acknowledged. "But I think in his own morbid way he's trying to assist us."
"What makes you think so?" Seth had asked.
"The cuts are thin and even, made by steady hands and someone either very calm, very experienced, or both. The weapon appears to be a stiletto knife, one of Lecter's weapons of choice. Major organs are missing, heart, kidneys, livers, assumably intended for future meals. We know that he has an aversion to rudeness, especially the overwhelming rudeness of sex offenders. And finally, every victim has the word 'Guilty' carved into his back. When Dr. Lecter was offering his assistance on the Jame Gumb, "Buffalo Bill", case, I remember one time he said to me 'In your heart of hearts, do you not hope, do you not believe that one day the guilty will all receive their day of reckoning?' I didn't think much about it at the time, but it certainly makes sense now."
Agent Boyd had shaken his head. "I don't buy it. In the past, he tended to stick to people he knew. He didn't randomly pick strangers. I don't think he'd change his MO. I really don't." He grinned. "I mean just because you have some kind of weird crush on Lecter doesn't mean he's the only one capable of such actions."
Clarice chose to ignore the last comment. "Think about it, Boyd," Clarice had argued. "He hasn't had patients in years, he most like has no ties really. Besides, like I said, I really think he's trying to help...in his own sick way."
The determining factor had been a note from Lecter himself. He had asked Clarice how she had felt seeing the word 'Guilty' on the victims' backs. That particular detail of the murders had not been made public in the fear that it would inspire copycat murders. Hannibal Lecter had then been declared by the FBI to be the suspect.
Now, as the 11th victim was fingerprinted, Seth shook his head and headed back to the crime scene.
Over the next seven days, Will's symptoms slowly decreased. The nausea, stomach cramps, chills, and headaches had lasted another day and then had been followed by a bitter acrid metallic taste in his mouth that could not be squelched, insomnia, intense back and neck pain, and the jitters. On several occasions, Will had begged Clarice to hand him a gun, tears streaming down his face.
Day five had been so excruciating that all he could do was kneel, wrap his arms around himself and rock back and forth. He couldn't sit too long, it hurt his back, he couldn't stand too long, he got leg cramps, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, minutes seemed to stretch out into hours and hours into days, all he wanted to do was die. Clarice had come into the room in the mid-afternoon with more pills and Gatorade because he hadn't eaten anything in days. She had found him on the floor in his kneeling position, rocking, holding his head in his hands and sobbing.
"Oh my God," she whispered. "Will, why didn't you call me?"
"Go away," he sobbed into his hands. "God just leave me alone."
She grabbed the bedspread off the bed, sat down beside him, wrapped it around him, and pulled him close to her. It killed her to see anyone in this kind of misery. He resisted at first, then allowed her to pull him close. He sank down and put his head in her lap. He pulled the bed spread over his head and continued his sobbing into it.
"Sshh," Clarice whispered to him gently rocking him back and forth. "It'll be alright." They had sat like that for hours.
The following day, his back and neck pain had subsided but despite the herbal medication, the jitters had set in with a vengeance. At noon, Clarice had carried a tray with some soup on it up to his room. He had been lying in bed and his arms and hands had shaken so badly, she'd had to feed him. Thankfully the soup stayed down and he had eaten almost the whole bowl.
That night, after another bowlful of soup, the jitters having subsided, Will freshly showered and changed into jeans and a white tee-shirt, Clarice smiled and declared him to be well on his way to recovery. Will smiled back bleakly.
"Yeah, thanks to you."
"How are you feeling?" Clarice asked him.
"Like I'm sick of soup," he chuckled. "No, seriously, I haven't felt this alive in years. I owe you big time. I have a difficult time saying thanks, but thanks." He paused and she nodded. "Hey, did you happen to buy any junk food when you went shopping?"
Clarice laughed. "Well.." She trailed off.
"Come, on, don't hold out on me. What'd you get?"
"Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I was saving it for when you got better."
"What flavor?" He asked with wide eyes.
"Chunky Monkey and Mint Chocolate Cookie," Clarice grinned sinfully.
"Well what are you waiting for, partner, go get it," Will laughed.
When Clarice came back into the room, Will was flipping through the TV channels. He stopped on one that was showing the movie "Dragnet".
"Oh man," Will laughed. "I haven't seen this movie in ages. I loved the TV show. When I was a kid, I wanted to be Joe Friday."
Clarice handed Will the carton of Chunky Monkey and a spoon and sat down on the bed next to him. "That was WAY before my time," she replied mischievously. She opened her Mint Chocolate Cookie and dug into it.
"Oh, whatever," Will retorted in between spoonfuls of ice cream. "You're not that much younger than I am."
Clarice feigned outrage. "What? Try about fifteen years, thank you very much." She paused. She glanced sideways at him. "Old man."
Will grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, okay," he chuckled. "I'm gonna remember you said that when I'm the one bringing Lecter in."
Clarice grinned and took another bite of ice cream. They sat together for a moment, watching the movie and eating.
"Will can I ask you something?" Clarice asked in between spoonfuls.
"What?" Asked Will through a mouth full of ice cream.
"What happened to your marriage?"
The spoon of ice cream paused halfway to Will's mouth briefly. He took a bite and chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "Well that's the question of the ages, Clarice," he smiled painfully at her. "I've been asking myself that same question for years."
Clarice looked at him and saw his pained look. She touched his arm. "Hey I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."
Will looked at her. "No, it's fine, you're just curious. Really, I don't mind talking about it." He sighed and shook his head slightly. "I guess after awhile my wife, Molly, just couldn't handle me bringing my work home." He chuckled slightly at his joke.
"You didn't bring it home with you, it followed you home," Clarice corrected.
"Same thing," Will said. "She couldn't handle it. I can't say I blame her. I mean, God, marriage is difficult enough without throwing a serial killer who holds a knife to your son's face into the mix. I have Dr. Lecter to thank for that, though." He looked thoughtful for a moment and took another bite of ice cream. "Of course my subsequent addictions didn't help our marriage either."
"Did she try to help you through that at all?"
"She did initially," Will nodded. "But in my stupidity I pushed her away. I was too proud and physically and emotionally hurt. I shut everyone out. Molly got fed up, took our son, and left and it's my own damn fault."
"I don't believe that," Clarice said. "Maybe if she would have just held on a little longer you two could've made things work."
"Could've, should've, would've," Will rolled his eyes. "It does no good to dwell on that shit, it'll just fuck with your mind."
"Well, at the very least you should be able to see your son."
Will closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "He does not want to see me," he replied quietly. "They're back at her folks place in Oregon and Josh won't even talk to me anymore. I think it's partly because of what he went through with Dolarhyde and I think it's also partly because I became an addict. I really miss him."
"Maybe at some point you should try to call him again. You're clean now, maybe that'll make some difference," Clarice said.
Will shrugged. "Maybe. God, he's nearly a grown man now. I think about him all the time. You know, I wonder what he looks like now, how tall he is, if he's playing football or taking art classes or if he's got a girlfriend." A small smile played on his lips. "Maybe you're right, Clarice. Maybe when all of this is over I should try calling him. I mean, hell, the worst he could do is hang up on me again. At least then I'd know."
Clarice took another bite. "So despite what happened with your first marriage, you think you'd ever get married again?"
Will shrugged. "I don't know. To be honest I don't think I could ever find a woman who would put up with me for very long. I don't think anyone will ever really be able to understand me and what I've been through thanks to my FBI days." He looked at her and grinned. "Why, are you asking me Agent Starling?"
"What? No!" Clarice laughed but Will noticed that her cheeks flushed slightly.
He laughed and took another spoonful of ice cream. "And what about you, Clarice? Do you ever think about getting married, having some kids, owning a big house in the suburbs, a dog and a white picket fence? You know, living the proverbial American dream?"
Clarice sighed. "I don't know. When I was younger, the only thing that mattered to me was my career. But now..." she trailed off. "Lately I wonder if I've made the right decisions in my life."
"It's difficult to remain loyal to a system that exploits your talents then turns it's back on you when you need it the most," Will replied softly.
"Exactly," Clarice nodded and looked at him. "Sometimes I wonder if in my ambition, I have given up my chances at having a family." She paused. "Now I'm afraid I'm too old to begin one."
"Please," Will scoffed. "Two minutes ago you were telling me how young you are, now you're too old?" He shook his head. "You're not too old, Clarice. But if that's what you really wanna do, then you need to start making plans to make it happen."
They sat for a moment, side by side, eating ice cream, and pondering the decisions they each had made that had brought them to this point.
"Besides," Clarice finally concluded, "like you said, I don't think I could ever find someone to put up with me, someone who could accept me for who I am just the way I am, faults and all." She paused and looked thoughtful. "Despite it's ending, your marriage did have its good times right?"
Will smiled sadly and nodded. "Yeah. When it was good, it was really good. After I'd retired from the FBI..the first time..when we were down in Florida, I've never been that happy. It was just Molly and Josh and me. And at night it was just Molly and me and that was even better."
Clarice smiled, leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes. "Shit, I'm sorry Will." She paused and he shrugged. "Sometimes it would be nice to just have someone to share my life with, you know? Someone I could talk to about my day and actually have him understand what I was dealing with at work, you know?"
Will looked at her. "I do know." He replied softly.
Clarice opened her eyes, and turned her head to look at him. They gazed at each other for a moment before Will glanced down at her ice cream.
"Hey partner, wanna trade?" He asked and smiled.
Clarice grinned and handed over her carton, taking his in return. She had to admit, it felt good to not only finally have a partner, but one who understood her.
To be continued. Please review!
Nan: Thank you! This is actually something I picked up from some of the other Star Wars FanFiction authors. Plus, I think that people who are kind enough to not only read but actually review my story should be thanked personally. I'm very appreciative of all feedback. Thanks again!
Kurt: Yes, I have seen "Trainspotting." I enjoyed the movie a lot but I must admit that the "swimming" scene was a bit gross!! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.
Shattered Mug: This fic cannot be good for your health? LMAO!!! Your reviews are always great! As far as Will not getting too close, I'm sure I'll get a page full of review from you after this chap!! Thanks so much and see ya next chapter.
guber: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm so glad you like the story.
LittleMy (Jenny): I had to laugh over your review! Yup, Hannibal's definitely obsessed with Clarice isn't he? Yes, SOTL is too awesome. My father and I went to see it when it originally came out and afterward we would always repeat the lines that Lecter said and the rest of our family had no idea!! It's too cool! As far as Hannibal killing Will...I'm not saying a word...you have to keep reading!! Hey thanks so much for your review (even if you were drunk!).
EyeSeeU: Aww, thanks for your kind review. When I originally read the book "Red Dragon" right after SOTL came out, the character of Graham intrigued me with how he was able to get into a killer's mind. I only wished that Hannibal had been given more print in the book but that's a different subject! Then, as you said, when I learned they were making the movie and that Ed Norton was playing Graham, I knew it would be excellent. Thanks again for reading and reviewing.
florence: Thank you for reviewing. I'm churning this story out relatively quickly (for me) because the ideas just keep flowing. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thanks again.
