Chapter 3.
The nurse mopped up the mess as best she could. Thankfully most of the tea hit the bedsheets. Rax offered to help but the nurse insisted she had it covered. I almost died of embarrassment. I avoided Rax's gaze while I was cleaned up. Looking like an idiot in front of him after all this time was the last thing I wanted. We hadn't even spoken yet.
When we were finally left alone, Rax's eyes met mine.
"Hi, Prue."
"Hi, Rax. I can't believe you're here."
"I can't believe you're here. When I heard what happened to you, I knew I had to see you. I'd have preferred to see you under better circumstances, of course. I was so worried. If you want me to go I completely understand—"
"What are you talking about? Of course I don't want you to go. Didn't my mum tell you? I asked for you to be here."
"Really? I don't understand. I haven't seen your mother. I found out what happened to you in the Kingtown Herald. I saw your name in the article this morning and the photo of you. And I resolved to visit you as soon as possible."
"Are you serious? You didn't see my mum at all? She didn't ask for you at Wentworth?"
"Wentworth? I haven't worked there for about two years. I'm at the Richmond School of Art now."
"I asked her to go to Wentworth and find you. I made her promise to talk to you, get you to come here. I know it sounds crazy, but I just had to see you. I had no idea if the plan would work, but it was the only thing I could think of."
"Oh, Prue. I was coming anyway. As soon as I read that article I was already here. And even if I had been at Wentworth and found out from your mother, the result would've been the same. I'm here. As long as you want me." He reached out for my hand, and squeezed it gently.
"I'm sorry." I said, tears in my eyes.
"You're sorry? What could you possibly need to apologise for?"
"For going to that school and ruining your life."
"You didn't ruin my life. You were a blessing. You still are. You woke me up to all the things I was lying to myself about. My marriage, for a start."
"What happened?" I said. My hand was warm inside Rax's. When I moved my fingers, he moved his. Like we were in sync.
"I filed for divorce six months after you left Wentworth. It was a long process. The final papers only came through last year."
"What about Harry and Lily?"
"Marianne and I share joint custody. I see them on weekends."
"How are they?" I said.
"They're doing well. Harry wants to be a teacher when he grows up. Lily's starting school this year."
"And what about you? You said you're at the Richmond School of Art now."
"Yes, I'm one of the art directors there. But what about you, Prue? Tell me how you are. It's got to be a lot more interesting than my story."
I told him how I'd passed all my GCSEs at Kingtown High, and that I went on to achieve A Levels in Art, English Literature and Psychology. Rax asked me what grades I got. My cheeks were flaming by now.
"A for English and Psychology."
"And what about Art?" said Rax.
"Ah, I got an E. Pretty bad, right?"
His face dropped. "I don't believe you,"
"I'm joking, I got an A*!"
His face lit up immediately and he cracked up laughing.
"Honestly, Prue, you're terrible. You haven't changed a bit."
I smiled, looking down.
"I'm so proud of you. But I didn't expect anything less. I always knew you were brilliant."
I blushed, looking at our entwined hands.
"I used to look at your work and think to myself, if this is what her art is like now, just think what it will be like in a few years' time."
"Really?"
"Of course. You know I did, Prue."
It was quiet for a moment.
"I've just turned eighteen. Four years have gone by, and yet. The only thing I want to draw or paint is you." I said.
Rax's eyes locked with mine. I became lost in his warm, dark gaze. Hours could have passed and I wouldn't have noticed. He leaned towards me. My heart started thudding underneath my hospital gown. Then he kissed my forehead softly.
When he leaned away again I felt such intense yearning I almost burst into tears. I wanted him to kiss me properly. But what if he didn't want to kiss me? He may have divorced Marianne but he could still have a girlfriend. I couldn't assume his feelings hadn't changed from all that time ago. But the thought remained. Did he still love me?
I looked at his youthful face, taking everything in. He still had his neat little beard and diamond earring. His white cheeks were lightly flushed with red. He'd hung his denim jacket on the back of his chair, and he was wearing a dark green jumper with a white shirt underneath, unbuttoned at the collar. I wanted to unbutton it further, imagining myself undoing his shirt with my fingers. I could smell him, his fresh clean scent, his aftershave. My heart thumped. I imagined running my hands through his soft black hair, pulling him to me…
Rax spoke, breaking my reverie.
"Do you remember what I told you the last time I spoke to you? About how every night I would close my eyes and think of driving off with you?"
I nodded.
"Well, I've been imagining running away with you every night for the past four years." said Rax.
"You really have?"
"Yes."
I cried. This time, tears of joy. Rax lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. We stayed quiet for a while, not saying anything, not needing to. It was enough just to be in each other's presence.
"I broke up with someone a few days ago." I said.
Rax looked at me, eyes warm and sympathetic. He waited for me to continue.
"I ended things right before I got hit by the car. I thought it might have been karma or something."
Rax stared at me.
"He didn't take it well," I went on.
"Was it serious, or…?"
"Not really. We were only together five months."
"What happened?"
"I lied to myself for ages, trying to tell myself it was working, but I couldn't do it anymore. I'd been waiting for some miracle to happen, for me to fall head over heels in love with him. And it never happened. He was a nice guy, we got along. It should have worked. But once I'd felt, even for a second, what I felt with you… you ruined me. I didn't want to settle for less."
"And there I was all those years ago, saying that you'd forget all about me. Knowing full well I would never forget you. Not for as long as I lived." said Rax.
I took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. "When I recover, my life will be different. I'm not going to waste any more time. No more frivolous relationships."
There was a pause. I looked at Rax and saw his pensive expression.
"How long do you think you'll be in here?" said Rax.
"The doctors say another week, at least. I was lucky – I didn't break any bones."
"Are your parents coming to see you today?"
"Probably. They haven't visited all day."
Rax glanced at the clock on the wall. "I should go. I would stay all night, but I don't think the nurses would be too happy about that," he said.
I smiled. I didn't give two hoots about what the nurses would think. But I knew visiting hours were almost over, and he had a life to get back to. God knows when I would get another chance to talk to him again. There was still so much to catch up on, so much I had to tell him. I was terrified he'd walk out tonight and never come back.
Rax scribbled something onto a scrap of paper from his pocket.
"Here's my number," he said, handing it to me. We were quiet for a moment. Then Rax leaned in and gave me one last hug. I thought he'd let go after a moment but he held on for several seconds. All too soon, he pulled away. I smiled, pushing away the longing I felt for his closeness.
"I'll come back tomorrow – that is, if you want me to?" he said.
"Yes please."
"Then I will. Take care, Prue."
