Author's Note: Okay, guys, here we go, a scene many of you have been clamoring for finishes out this chapter. However, the ending may be different than the ending you might have had in mind for the scene. And hey, we're almost done, faithful readers! Just a few more chapters I think so stay with me, we're in the home stretch.

Chapter 18: The Sum of Us

The day was bright. The previous day's rainstorm had cleared out and left in its wake a warm fall sun. Clarice Starling was running. Her Nike-clad feet pounded the pavement, her red ponytail flapped out behind her. She had begun to breathe hard and there was a persistent stitch in her side but she ran on, relentless. Clarice kept hoping this was all a dream, that if she kept running, if she kept pushing herself to her physical limit, that she would finally break through unconsciousness, wake up, and find Will asleep beside her, safe and sound.

She was so far beyond the point of exhaustion that she was bordering on collapse. It was Saturday, almost 2pm, she had not slept at all the night before and she had been running the block around the FBI building since noon. There was not much she could do at this point except worry, Will and Josh Graham's disappearances had been turned over to the Violent Crimes division. Already, swarms of agents had checked and ruled out the most obvious locations: Dr. Lecter's previous homes and offices, Will's current home, the Quantico safehouse, Will and Molly Graham's former residences, even the closed down Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Nothing had been found anywhere.

'Tag you're it, Clarice.'

Clarice had been asked for her opinion on the one sentence note seeing as how it was addressed to her personally. She had said that this was a game for Dr. Lecter, he was challenging her, he wanted her to chase him. She had been thanked for her time and told that she would be contacted if there were any developments in the case of locating her partner and his son. Only Seth Williams knew how personal this investigation was to her and how being out of the proverbial loop was killing her.

Kendra Mitchell had been questioned but said she had seen nothing. She had said that she had met with Will at the Aquarium and they had left in separate directions. When pressed as to what their meeting had entailed, she had said that it was to clear up a misunderstanding between the two of them and that everything had been resolved before they had gone their separate ways. When questioned as to why the meeting had taken place outside the office she had claimed that she felt it would be more beneficial to meet in a neutral location.

Clarice furrowed her brow as she reminisced over Kendra's words now. She highly doubted that Will would have come to a "resolution" with Kendra, he had been adamant about getting her out of Behavioral Science. But maybe she had confronted him regarding the existence of the 'tape' and he had admitted that it did not exist. Still, there was something that did not seem right here but Clarice could not put her finger on it.

Will's car had been towed back to FBI Headquarters and had been searched for unusual hair, fiber, and fingerprints to no avail. But because of the note, Dr. Hannibal Lecter had been named the primary suspect despite the lack of any signature. Zachary Matthews had been interrogated once more in the hospital, still in recovery from gunshot wound surgery. He had laughed when he learned of Agent Graham's disappearance but it was quickly obvious that he knew nothing. Molly Graham had barely been talked out of hopping the next plane to D.C. by Clarice. She had told Molly that there was nothing she would be able to do here and that she would be better off staying at home until there was some definite news. Clarice did not want to have to play hostess to Will's ex-wife for obvious emotional reasons.

After she had been told that she would be informed of any developments Clarice had gone back to the hotel, packed up her and Will's things and checked out. As she had been packing up his clothes she had broken down finally and sobbed into one of his dress shirts. She had felt so helpless, like she had when she was ten and there was nothing she could do to bring her father back. She was helpless to do anything for Will and Joshua and they were in this position because of her. As she had walked through the door of her home and dropped the two duffle bags with hers and Will's clothes onto the floor, she had realized that she had not been home since Monday when she had been shot, when Will had taken care of her, and when they had first made love. It seemed like ages ago. Her eyes had darted to the stools at the breakfast nook, the ones she and Will had occupied still sat directly next to one another just as they had left them. Clarice had sighed and walked down the hall to her room.

The sheets and blankets had been in complete disarray, just as they had been left and Clarice had felt tears spring to her eyes again. She had wondered what Dr. Lecter was doing to Will and his son at that very moment. A thousand horrendous acts had run through her mind and she closed her eyes. The tears had begun to thread down her cheeks and she had collapsed onto the bed. Her body had desperately needed sleep but her mind would not let sleep come. She had curled up unknowingly into the fetal position and sobbed again for almost an hour.

With sleep evading her, Clarice had sat up, wiped her eyes, and decided that she must do something. She could not just sit here alone in her home and wait to get a call saying that Will's body had been found, or worse, that pieces of his body had been found. She had changed into a black exercise bra, black leggings, and a white UVA tee shirt, pulled on her running shoes, and driven back to the FBI building so she could be close in case there was news. Clutching her cell phone tightly in her hand in case it rang, Clarice Starling had run and run and run, attempting to outrun her nightmares, her demons, and her fears.

Now as she ran, she found she could not go on and she stopped, sitting down hard on the grass outside the building. Clarice sat with her knees bent, arms draped over them, and her head lying on her arms. She breathed very heavily and she knew she should stretch but she had no strength left. She sat that way for a while before she lay back down in the grass, closed her eyes and felt the sun warm on her face, drying her sweat.

The cell phone in her hand buzzed. Clarice took a deep breath and put the phone to her ear.

"Starling."

"Clarice, how soon can you get back here?" Seth Williams asked.

Clarice sat up. "I'm just outside right now. I was jogging," she paused and gulped. "What is it?"

"A little white box just arrived for you mixed in with several other articles of mail via UPS. Your name is on it and it looks like Dr. Lecter's writing," he replied quietly.

Clarice closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. She felt tears pool suddenly behind her lids. 'A box?' she thought. "Shit," she muttered and Seth could hear the tears in her voice.

"I'm holding off the boys from Violent Crimes but barely," Seth said softly. "I thought you might want to open it yourself." He paused. "But if you'd rather they opened it, tell me."

"No," Clarice shook her head. "I'll be there in two minutes."

Clarice pressed the off button on the phone, stood up, and bounded inside the building. Instead of waiting for the elevator, she bounded up the stairs. As she opened the door to the hallway leading to the Behavioral Science division, she was met with sympathetic stares and whispers because of the disappearance of her partner. Ignoring everyone, she strode quickly to her office where she found Seth Williams, Kendra Mitchell, and four agents who were identified as being from Violent Crimes. She nodded to each one in turn and looked at the small white box sitting in the middle of her desk.

It was the type of box you would be given by a jeweler to bring the jewelry case that held a bracelet in home. It had a red ribbon around it tied into a bow that curled at the end. Written in black ink on the box was simply: Special Agent Clarice Starling, FBI. She closed her eyes briefly as she recognized Dr. Lecter's handwriting. She sighed heavily and looked around the room. The other agents were watching her carefully.

"Do you want us to go, Clarice," Seth asked gently.

She sighed again. "No, it's fine."

Clarice Starling picked up the small white box and undid the ribbon. She lifted the lid and found cotton batting inside. On top of the cotton batting was a folded piece of stationary paper. She opened it and read slowly. She recognized the beginning rhyme as patterning the old nursery rhyme, "Jack and Jill."

"Clarice and Will went up a hill

To fetch Dr. Lecter but alas

Will fell down, FBI savior uncrowned

And met his ending at our genesis."

That was where the rhyme ended and she furrowed her brow in contemplation. There was a postscript at the bottom.

"Sorry the ending rhyme is a bit stretched but I composed this in a hurry you know. I trust you'll forgive me Clarice. Happy hunting."

That was all. No signature, no other words of explanation, nothing. Clarice took a deep breath and slowly lifted the corner of the cotton batting. As she pulled it off, her breath caught in her chest.

"Oh God," she whimpered. She set the box carefully down on her desk, looked at Seth through the beginnings of tears, and finally her exhausted, beaten body collapsed.

Seth rushed to her side but could not catch her before she hit the floor heavily. He cradled her head in his arms. The other agents gathered around her desk and peered into the box. It contained a severed pinky finger.
It was just after 10pm when Seth Williams helped Clarice Starling through the door of her home, supporting her weight with one arm behind her back. He guided her to the couch and she sat down heavily with a grunt. Her face was pale and drawn. He watched her for a moment before heading into the kitchen. When he returned, he held a glass of water out to her. She took it and he pulled a prescription bottle from his jacket pocket. It was the sedative her doctor had called into the pharmacy. He shook a pill out into his hand and held it out to her.

"I don't want it," she mumbled.

"Clarice," Seth said firmly. "Take it. You need to sleep. Don't argue with me about this."

Clarice glanced up at him, took the pill out of his hand, placed it in her mouth and swallowed it. She had no strength left to fight. Seth sat down on the coffee table in front of her and put his hands over hers.

"Do you want me to call 'Delia? Do you want her to stay with you tonight?" He asked gently.

"No," she shook her head slowly. "I'm fine. I just need to shower and go to bed. Thank you though. Besides, this pill will knock me out and I won't be up all night thinking so I don't need any company."

Seth looked at her weary face. He wanted to comfort her, to assure her everything would be alright, but he did not know that it would be. In the hours after Clarice had opened the box, the finger had been positively identified through fingerprints on file as having belonged to Will Graham. The note had been analyzed for hair, fiber, and prints with nothing significant. The stationary paper was common and could be found at most any card store throughout the country. The content itself had also been analyzed and was still being worked on. Clarice had not been able to offer any suggestions regarding the content of the note, her mind was too exhausted and she had been unable to focus. Seth squeezed her hands gently and gave her a small smile. Clarice lowered her eyes.

"I cannot even imagine what he's going through right now," she said dismally. "God I'm in hell. I can't help Will or Josh, I can't figure out that note. I can't do anything."

"Clarice, stop. This won't help anything. You need to rest tonight," Seth said softly. "Tomorrow we'll start again. We'll get that riddle in the note solved. We'll figure out where they are and we'll find them."

"I can't do it," Clarice muttered. "I just can't do it."

"Clarice, somewhere along the way, you lost faith in yourself, thinking that nothing you do matters," Seth smiled gently. He watched the fresh tears begin to roll down her cheeks at his words. "But it matters now more than ever, Will's and Josh's lives are on the line and you can do this, Clarice. You MUST do this. Dr. Lecter always helped you, he always gave you the answer you were looking for, you just had to wrap your brain around it to see it. This instance is no exception I'm sure. The answer to where they are is in that note you just have to figure it out. And I know that you can, Clarice."

Seth held Clarice as she cried.
Hannibal Lecter slipped quietly through the door of Clarice's townhouse. He had waited for two hours after Agent Seth Williams had left before entering to ensure he was not going to return. He listened and heard Clarice's deep, steady breathing and he smiled, this is how it should be. He walked down the hall, stood in the doorway of her room, and watched her. He had not seen her in nearly a week and it had pained him deeply. Just the sight of her now was enough to bring him to his knees in submission to her.

She was asleep on her usual left side and the bed covers had been kicked to the foot of the bed although her house was chilly. He noticed that her hair was still damp and he could detect the scents of her being freshly showered. Tonight she wore a white spaghetti strap tank top camisole that melded to her body and a pair of pajama bottoms he did not recognize. He puzzled over them as he walked to the far side of her bed. He knelt down next to the bed and peered closely at them. They were blue plaid flannel with drawstrings. The pants were far too big for her and she had cinched them tight with the drawstring around the waist and rolled the legs up to her ankles so she would not trip on them. It then dawned on him that they must be Will's.

Dr. Lecter frowned and felt the now familiar jealousy boil up within him again. He glanced at her face and saw it was tear-stained and pale. Then he noticed she was clutching something tightly to her chest, her nose buried in it. It was a white tee-shirt. Dr. Lecter leaned in and sniffed it. The scents of Will Graham filled his nostrils, from the soap he used, to his shaving cream, to his cologne. The same scents he had smelled on Will when he'd taken him yesterday.

Lecter sat up on the floor and his nostrils flared. He suppressed an urge to race back to the Baltimore hospital and rip the man to pieces. He shook his head. His fun would be over much too quickly if he did that but the effort required every ounce of his self control. Dr. Lecter laid his head on Clarice's bed and stroked her hair gently. He needed to talk with her, needed to reason with her. He had to convince her that Will was not the man for her, Will would not treat her as well as he would treat her, especially after having heard the man speak of her in the degrading way he had earlier. Clarice stirred just a bit but hardly at all.

Puzzled by the fact that she was not easily awakened tonight, Dr. Lecter lifted his head and his eye caught sight of the prescription bottle on the bedside table. 'Ah,' he thought as he read the label. 'She has taken a sedative, no wonder I cannot rouse her.' He looked again at her tear- stained, pain-stricken face and sighed.

"My love," he whispered softly and he caressed her face, her arms, and her stomach where her shirt had ridden up. "You must try to understand. I'm only doing what is best for you my little starling. I know that right now you are hurt and scared but in time you will come to see this is all for the best." He paused and sighed inwardly. "I am sorry for my lapse in judgment today when I sent you the little 'gift'. That was tasteless and it will not happen again. Please forgive my momentary lapse. And I just want you to know that Will won't suffer anymore, I'll take him quickly." Lecter smiled in spite of the little white lie he now told her. "You must understand he could never love you like I love you. He could never cherish you like I cherish you."

Dr. Lecter leaned over, kissed her forehead, and looked at her longingly. After years of wishing he could climb into bed and just hold her, Hannibal Lecter did just that. He removed his shoes and jacket and lay down beside his beloved. He wrapped his right arm around her protectively. His face touched the back of her head, he buried his face in her hair and he could smell her shampoo..

'Finesse,' he thought.

..the lotion on her skin..

'Bath and Body Works' Warm Vanilla Sugar,' he thought.

..and the faint smell of her perfume.

'Pleasures,' he smiled into her neck. 'God, I could just eat her up.'

He lie there breathing in the scents of her when suddenly the thought that she had put that perfume on for Will tickled his mind. He closed his eyes, pained by the thought, and a mental image played itself out in his head. He saw them as he had seen them a few nights ago; Will touching her, caressing her, kissing her, making love to her and it was more than he could bear.

He opened his eyes to rid himself of the image and looked at Clarice. Dr. Lecter touched her shoulder and marveled at how silky soft it was. He moved his body closer until he was pressed against her. Her skin was chilled and he pulled the blankets up over the two of them and they lay together, Special Agent Clarice Starling and sociopath Dr. Hannibal Lecter, as casually as old lovers. He propped himself up on one elbow, and caressed her cheek softly. He gently rolled her over so she lay on her back and he looked at her full mouth. Subconsciously, his tongue snaked out and ran nervously across his lips. Clarice Starling was the only person that had ever brought out such emotions in him: lust, love, fear, anxiety, and she brought them out triple-fold. Finally, denying himself no longer, Dr. Lecter leaned down and kissed her lips. As he probed her mouth gently with his tongue she stirred, a low guttural moan emitting from her throat.

Dr. Lecter would have guessed her moan to be one of horror and revulsion at his uninvited kiss. But to his utter surprise, Clarice wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. They kissed passionately for a moment, their tongues seeking the other one out. He moved his lips along her neck to her ear. He flicked the lobe lightly with his tongue.

"I've missed you so, my love," he whispered softly.

She moaned softly, although her eyes remained closed. His right hand lay on her flat stomach, his thumb drawing rings around her navel, and she suddenly took hold of it, moving it up her body until it rested directly on her left breast. He could feel its warmth through the thin material of her shirt. This time he moaned and leaned in to kiss her. She met his mouth with hers and they melted into each other. His hands roamed her body greedily.

Then he looked at her and realized that she was still half asleep from the sedative. It did not matter, she would come fully awake soon and then he would take her. After years of imagining what Special Agent Starling tasted like, what she felt like, he would finally know. How deliciously intense the moment would be when he finally entered her for the first time, their eyes locked together as their bodies became locked together, just as intense as the first time he had ever touched her, lightly caressing her hand with his finger through the bars of his cage as she had taken her case file from his hand so many years ago. And then she would be his and he would be hers. Whatever she told him to do, he would do it. He lived only for her now and her alone. Their time together had finally come. His only wish was that Will Graham could see them, be forced to watch as now he made love to Clarice, making her moan, making her climax.

He ran his tongue slowly down her neck, pausing over the point where he could feel her pulse just beneath the surface of her skin and his teeth gripped it and he sucked until he almost drew blood and she arched her body into his in pleasure. Dr. Lecter ached to taste the blood that gave her life, to take a bit of her into him, but he would wait to take it until he had her full permission. His tongue proceeded to descend to her shoulder, tasting her sweet skin. He kissed one breast through the fabric of her shirt, his teeth gently grating over her nipple, and he heard her softly whisper his name, except, it wasn't his name. Dr. Lecter leaned back and looked down at her closed eyes.

"Will," she moaned again.

Dismayed, he fell back onto the bed. Tears began to slip out of his eyes and roll to the mattress below. What a fool he had been to think that she would accept him, would take him. He turned away from her and sat up on the edge of the bed. It was not supposed to be this way. Clarice, the one he had given everything to and sacrificed so much for, was supposed to be in love with him. Instead, she called for HIM, his nemesis. The man who had incarcerated him, the man who had later come to him mockingly for assistance, the man who believed he was better then Lecter, the man he hated with every fiber of his being.

'Once upon a time you loved that man like he was your own son,' a voice inside his head insisted.

"No," Dr. Lecter whispered vehemently.

But he could not deny it. When he and Will Graham had been working together on profiling, he had come to care deeply for the young man. He was personable and easy going with a good sense of humor. When Dr. Lecter had realized that Will was getting too close to figuring out who the actual perpetrator was, he had worked desperately to turn Will's line of thinking down another path. It had almost worked. In the end, Lecter had struggled within himself when it came to finally making the decision to kill him. But any feelings of respect and friendship had been killed the moment Will had thrust those arrows into him before shooting him and he had known he was caught.

As he cried soundlessly, Hannibal Lecter could not deny that he could see how Clarice Starling had fallen for Will Graham and it broke his heart. He turned back to look at Clarice and in an instant he knew what he must do. He could fool himself no longer, she did not love him and she probably never would, her upbringing and training would make certain of it. But if Dr. Lecter could not have her, he would make certain that Will Graham could not either. Clarice had already turned back over and delved further into sleep, the sedative working its magic. Through his tears, Dr. Lecter kissed the top of her head lightly and bid Clarice Starling a fond farewell.

To be continued. Please review!

Shattered (AKA Faithful Reviewer and POI Junkie!): Thanks for the compliment, it's my job as a writer to keep you guessing until the end right?! And we are nearing the end, just a few more chapters. Thank you so much for your review.

DevilsQT: LOL, gee I did not realize it was the GD I was being mean to in that chapter! I thought it was Clarice and Will (especially Will!). But I'm glad you're enjoying the story. As far as a "good ending" it will all depend on what you consider a good ending which I can imagine is for Hannibal and Clarice to end up together. You'll just have to stay tuned and see what happens! Thanks for reviewing.

Dark Topaz: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

ducki: Yes, I hate it also when men kiss and tell (or anyone for that matter) but keep in mind he was trying to save his son and being a parent myself, I can understand that completely. I'm glad you're enjoying the story and thanks for reviewing.

Kurt: Yeah I don't know the plural for nemesis! But yes, they do make good ones. And no, the GD is not a warm fuzzy bunny which is something we all tend to forget from time to time. Hmmm, seems to me we recently had this discussion on lecterphiles!! Severed head as a gift? Well not quite. At least not this chapter anyway! LOL! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Nan: LMAO at your review! I like that, "leapin lizards!" That's as good as LoT's "Yowsers!" Yes, I thought that cliffie would be a good one. "the cliffie of ALL cliffies!!" LOL, thank you!

LoT: Yes, I have taken some lessons at the school of Darth Poobah! And you are not alone in your desire to see Will dead, there are a few other reviewers who have voiced similar opinions! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.

sanshi: Thank you so very much for your compliments. Yes, I have tried hard to portray the GD in a more real light and I'm glad that many of you agree. And also, thank you for complimenting my writing style, it means a lot to me. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Morbid: LOL, well, I don't think I'm going to comment on all of your reviews since you just began the story! But I will say this: thank you so much, your reviews are wonderful, I love them! And no, I don't think they are too long. Fear not, we will see more of Josh Graham next chapter so stay tuned! But I cannot tell you his fate!