It's Tuesday morning and the second day I awoke without my husband by my side. I would like to say that this time away was all roses, but it's not. Yes, it is giving me the chance I needed and asked for to clear my head. However the little sleep that I've had the past two nights would not equal up to one good nights rest. I hope that Christian is sleeping better than I am.

Since it's only 6am, I lay in bed for a little while trying to get back to sleep, but with no luck. I get up intending on going down stairs and having breakfast ready for Ray when he wakes, but to my surprise, he is already at the stove. He doesn't notice me at first because he and Sawyer are busy trading stories of their time in the service. I clear my throat to alert them that I'm in the room.

My Dad looks up from the pan and gives me a bright smile, "Good morning, Annie. I'm making breakfast burritos. I hope you're hungry."

"It all smells really good, Dad. I was hoping to get up early and make you breakfast. You know, as a thank you for letting me stay here." And not asking me a million questions... That last part I decide not to share out loud. True to his word, Dad hasn't pushed me to talk about what's going on. He's giving me time to work this out on my own. I know he is worried, so I figure that I will sit down with him at some point today and fill him in on everything.

"Nonsense , Annie. You know that you are always welcome here no matter what. Now come sit down and eat breakfast." My dad says as he busies himself around the kitchen.

Dad, Sawyer and I enjoy the food that my dad prepared as the men talk about sports. I'm not sure what sport they are discussing, because I block them out and think about Christian. About how and what he's doing right now. I hope he is handling everything okay.

Even though I'm sure it's delicious, I can't even tell you what the food taste like. All I know is that it feels like a ton of bricks sitting in my stomach. I try my best to tune into what Dad and sawyer are talking about because if I don't, I'm just going to worry myself sick.

I refuse my Dad's help to clean the kitchen when breakfast is over. There isn't much so I'm done in less than 20 minutes. After going to my room and checking a few emails, I decided to make myself a cup of tea and go sit at the dock on the lake. A little fresh air will do me well.


Like I thought, the fresh cool breeze coming off the water helps clear my head, but it also chills me a little. I've been sitting out here alone for the last 20 minutes. Well, alone if you don't count Sawyer standing guard about 100 feet away. When I insisted on coming down here alone, he flat our refused because my dad wasn't coming with me. I really should know better by now than to try to sweet talk my way around security.

I hear my phone beep in my back pocket, and when I pull it out, I see that it's a message from Christian.

Good morning, Baby. I hope you slept well.- C

Just like always, my stomach erupts with butterflies just by reading his words. That man really has no idea what he does to me.

Good morning, Handsome. I slept okay. I hope you slept well, too.-A

Yes, I just fibbed a little by telling Christian that I slept okay, when in fact I didn't. My husband has enough on his plate with out adding stressing about me to it.

I slept as well as to be expected without you in my arms. I'm about to head into John's office. I'll call you later and discuss the appointment. I love you-C

I love you too-A

With Christian mentioning his appointment with Flynn, it brings me back to the phone conversation from last night...


..."How was you day?" Christian asks. I could hear the relief in his voice when he answered my call tonight.

"It was okay. I did a little work, but spent most of the day resting until Dad got home from work."

"Um, have... have you told him? How much does he hate me? Has he already started cleaning his gun?"

I have to giggle at the last question. "No, he hasn't broke out the guns. I actually haven't told him. I had some things to sort out in my head first before I talked to him. I think I may talk to him in the morning. He was able to take tomorrow off since he finished up the project he was working on."

"I hate that my fucking insecurities are putting you ... putting us in this situation." He spits out with anger. I know the anger isn't towards me, but himself.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but did everything go okay with your appointment this morning?"

He blows out a loud puff of air, "I don't mind at all, Baby. It went well. John and I mainly talked about my childhood, and he basically reinforced everything my parents told me on Sunday. I'm feeling a lot better about things, but... um," He hesitates for a few beats, and I know what he's going to say next is really bothering him. "Tomorrow's visit, he wants to talk about my teen years and my history with Elena. He feels like she had a bigger impact on me than I realize."

Elena! That's a fucking name I haven't heard in a while. If I never heard that bitches name again in my life time it would be too soon. She had tried to contact Christian a few times after shit hit the fan on his 28th birthday. It got to he point where we had to get restraining orders put on her for the entire Grey family.

"Are you okay with that? I know we chose to leave her in the past, so are you okay with dragging her back up? Are you willing to do that revisit those six years?" He knows that I am referring to the six years he spent in Elena's clutches.

"It's not even a question. I'm willing to do anything for us... For our marriage... For our future family."

"That was a stupid question for me to ask. I know that you are doing everything you can to work yourself out. I-I'm extremely proud of you." My voice cracks a little.

"I know, baby. Your support means the world to me."...


Knowing that Christian is going to have to bring that bitch up this morning is making me really nervous. I hate her and I hate that he is going to have to talk about his past with her once again.

I hear the boards on the dock creak and I look back expecting to see Sawyer walking closer to me, but instead I see my Dad walking down the dock towards me. He has a thermos in one hand and something wrapped in tin foil in the other hand.

"Thought I'd find you here." He says as he sits down beside me. This is where I used to go all the time as a teenager to think. And it was also the best place to lay on a blanket and read.

"You know I love this spot." I say and he nods, but otherwise stays silent. "Whatcha got there, old man?" I tease and point to the stuff that was in is hands.

"Watch it with the old man, Annie girl." He chuckles. "I thought I would bring you some hot chocolate and peanut butter cookies."

I smirk at him, "So, other wise known as bribery." He used to always bring me hot chocolate and my favorite peanut butter cookies when he wanted to get me to open up about something.

He nods his head, "I guess that's one way to look at it." He says with a small smile. That smile doesn't last long and his face grows serious and concerned. "Look, Annie, I love you and it hurts an old man's heart to see his baby girl going through something. I've said that I wouldn't ask and I'd wait for you to come to me, but I don't know how much longer I can wait." He turns to me, and his face is as hard as stone. "!t's obvious that something is going on between you and Christian. Just answer me one thing... Has he hurt you?"

I know what he's really asking, he wants to know if Christian has physically hurt me. "Not in the way you're thinking, Dad." I assure him, and I see some of the tension leave his body.

"We'll that's reassuring to a father. Want to tell me what's going on?"

"You know about Christian's past, right?" I ask.

"About his birth mother?" He asks in confusion.

"Yeah."

My dad knows about everything in Christian's past except for Elena and BDSM. My dad would probably have a heart attack if he knew how my and Christian's relationship began.

"Well, he still has a few issues he needs to work through. I'm ready to start a family and he's afraid. He's letting his past interfere with our future. We had an argument and in the end, he realized what he was doing to us by denying us the joy of children. He is taking these few days to get help in therapy, and I'm taking these few days to get my head back on straight."

He is quiet as he looks out over the water. I can tell he is thinking things over. When he finally speaks, I brace myself for his questions, because by the look on his face, I know this is as hard for him to ask. "Annie, you said that he is in therapy... Is he doing this because he wants children and wants to overcome the remaining issues with his past, or is he doing this so he can keep you? Because if he is doing this just so he can keep you, that wouldn't be fair to you or the child."

"Wow, Dad, you are really going in with the hard hitting questions." I let out a small, uncomfortable laugh. "Honestly, I know deep down Christian wants children. He is such a good and loving husband, son, brother, and uncle. I can see where your concern is coming from, but I truly believe in my husband and I know he would be the absolute best father to a child... Well second best," I bump shoulders with his, "We both know you hold the title for worlds best dad." I say making him chuckle.

"You are my main concern. I have always worried about you and I always will. When you do have children, you will understand that a parents worry never ceases no matter how old the child is."

I nod my head, "I know, Daddy. I'm sure that your concerns are going to be brought up by Dr. Flynn during Christian's sessions. You don't need to worry so much about me though. I have the life any parent would want for their child. And, you know I'm not talking about finances, I'm talking about a parent wanting their child to be happy and loved. And I assure you, I am both of those things with Christian."

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and leans me into his side and kisses me on the side of my head. "I know, Annie girl, I know. So you've had a few days to sort things out on your end, how's that going? Come to any conclusions yet?"

I smile at him, "Yeah, but I think the rest will need to be sorted out with my husband by my side."


Christian's POV

"Good morning, Christian." John greets me as I step into his office.

"Morning , John." I shake his hand.

I sit down and get comfortable on his sofa. It's not the same one as I used to sit on because it seems that he redecorated in the past few years. Everything is still based around comfort for his patients though. With warm earth tones, it puts out not only a peaceful, but welcoming vibe.

"How are you doing with things since we talked yesterday?" John asks as he sits in his chair across from me.

"Fine." I give him a one word answer that is completely a lie.

"Fine? Care to elaborate?" The raised eyebrow John is sporting tells me that he isn't an idiot and he knows that I'm lying. I forgot about this part... The part where you can't get anything past Dr. John Flynn.

I stare at him a few minutes and figure I may as well tell him. After all, that's what I am here for- to get help. "Okay, fine, things aren't fine. I miss the fuck out of my wife. I need her home with me. I want to work through this shit in my head in warped speed so Ana and I can get on with our lives and start a family. And I seriously don't want to talk about Elena Lincoln. That bitch is in my past for a reason, and that is where I want her to stay."

John nods his head calmly, "I understand why you feel that way. If I know Ana, I'm sure she misses you just as much. We spoke of this yesterday, and we both agreed that this time away would be beneficial for her. I do want to talk to you about the two of you having a few sessions together, and if Ana would like, I could do an individual session for her as well."

"I will mention this to her when she and I speak this evening." I agree.

"Now, I know that you would rather we didn't have to talk about Elena and your teenage years, but it needs to be addressed."

I nod my head, but say nothing.

"I think even though for the most part, you have left that part of your life behind you.. closed that chapter if you will, I think that you still feel the proverbial sting of what was done to you. Am I correct?"

I think on it a minute before answering him. "Somewhat, I guess. I mean, when Ana and I do have children, God forbid they find out what type of person I was before I met their mother."

"And what type of person was that?" John asks.

"Come on, John, you know me. You knew me then. You know I wasn't a good person." I state. Now I'm starting to get a little pissed at the obtuse act John has going.

"Yes, I know you and that's why I know what you just said was far from true. The Christian I knew before Ana was a good man.. Troubled, yes, but a good person no less. Why would you say you weren't a good person?"

"You know every bit of my past. You know the shit I did..." I trailed off because I was about to say the shit I did with Elena. And it hit me, John was right. I thought I was over that shit, but apparently not.

John, being John didn't miss the look on my face. "I see I'm making my point."

"Yeah." I mean, what else could I say.

Over the next hour John and I spend our time taking a trip down memory lane. A lane that I hope to fucking close after I'm done with this session. The shit that I'm having to think about is really fucking with my head, but weirdly at the same time, it's also making me think. I can now see that my fears that I have had for so long didn't just come from my early childhood, but that I was in fact impacted from Elena's abuse far more than I thought I was.

But with all of this, a new issue gets brought to the surface... I would never want my kids to endure the abuse I went through. I would fucking kill someone if they even tried to do to my son what Elena did to me.

"I see you are working through something in your head. Care to share?"

Without even seconds hesitation, I share my thoughts with John. "What if I'm unable o protect my children from people like Elena? From pedophiles. John, I would not be able to control my rage if I were to ever find out that someone was hurting my son or daughter."

I see John try to stifle a smile. It's not a gloating smile, it's a satisfied smile. "Christian, there is no way for a parent to one hundred percent protect their child from the evils of the world. What I can tell you is that we all do our best to protect them where we can. You will be no different. you'll probably be better than most because you know what to look for. You've learned from your own experiences."

He's right, I would do any and everything in my power to keep my children from enduring the abuse I did.


After my session with John, I swing by the office and pick up a few papers that need my signature. What was supposed to be a quick drop in turned into a few hours.

"Christian, I need to talk with you for a minute about the new Japanese contract." Ros calls out while I'm trying to make my getaway."

I turn back and tell her to meet me in her office. If I have to sit in my office any longer than necessary and stare at pictures of Ana, I may go crazy out of my mind.

Ros and I talk a couple of hours. When she gathers the papers on her desk, I take that as my que to get my ass out of there. As I make it to the door, Ros calls out my name.

"Everything okay with you?" She asks when I turn back to her.

No way in hell am I going to tell her what's going on. Yeah, I'm closer to Ros than I am my other employees, but there is no way I am sharing that Ana and I are having problems... Problems that I caused... Problems that I'm fixing.

"Everything's fine, Ros. Thanks for asking." I give her a forced smile and get my ass to the SUV.

On my way home, I have nothing else to do but think. I go over my session with John. And I ask myself the question I have asked myself over and over the past few days... Am I ready for a child? All the other times I've asked myself this question, my answer would be, not yet. Now as I ask myself this question, my answer is, I'm almost there... And it's a fucking amazing feeling.

I need to call Ana and tell her about todays session and my new revelation. My mind is on Ana as I walk into the house. So much so, I almost miss my brunette angel sitting on the sofa. When I do spot her, I stop dead in my tracks.

"Ana." I say in a disbelieving tone.

Watching her stand and walk to me with that sweet smile on her face is a fucking vision... a fucking dream.

"Hey baby." She smiles at me.

"You're home." I say as she reaches me and I take her in my arms.

"I am. I thought it was time I came back. We have worked on ourselves individually, I think it's time we worked the rest out together."

"Together." I breath the word out just before I bend and take her mouth. Ana.. My Ana is home.