Chapter 7.

After visiting Bill's lighthouse, our friends are travelling to Saffron City, the great metropolis of Kanto. During the walk, they found a somewhat strange building. It seemed to be a Pokémon pub, but when they got closer they could read "Madame Dittó" in a truly impressing neon ad. The guys were curious, so they entered the place. On the right side was a bar, where Aromatisse served drinks to Pokémon and humans alike so they could refresh themselves. In the left side it was a little stage with striptease bars, where Dittos danced swiftly, sliding down until hitting the floor, deforming and getting back to their original form only a few seconds later. Pokémon and humans enjoyed the show together. VIP rooms where private dances could be hired where at the far end of the room. The Dittos on the bar where wearing grilled stockings, a top and red lipstick. They were performing a hypnotic dance that was difficult to stop looking at.

A high-pitched voice welcomed them. The trainers realized that it was a Ditto wearing makeup and a sensual dress, with a boa plume around her neck and a cigarette in her mouth. She was Madame Dittó.

-Wah, another talking Pokémon! – said Matt, interrupting the conversation while hiding behind Misty.

Misty then kicked him against one of the pillars of the building, and Brock continued talking:

-Are you the owner of this place?

Of course young man, I've been on the business for a long time, I know how to treat clients and workers!

-A Pokémon variety hall..? – said Brock, puzzled.

-Honey, haven't you ever wanted to have a tactic team? – answered Dittó.

-But how could a Ditto start a business? – asked a dumbfounded Misty.

-A Ditto can do a lot of stuff – said a voice from behind. The young lady smiled and then said:

-Oh, you are old friends of mine. What are you doing here?

-And you are…? – asked Ash.

-Don't you remember who I am, you nitwit!? – said the girl while giving Ash a peck in the head.

-Nope, I definitely don't remember you – answered Ash.

-I'm Duplica you fool! – shouted the girl at Ash.

-What I've done now? – answered Ash, startled.

-You never have enough… - said Misty.

-It seems you keep having problems with girls… - said a familiar voice, laughing.

It was Gary Oak. The closer he got the least he tried to laugh, but at the end he couldn't stop himself and the entire group laughed, except Ash, who said:

-What's so funny!? Do I have a Chimchar on my face or what!?

-Chimchars are way more intelligent, I assure you – said Gary while blinking an eye to Ash.

Suddenly all the lights went off and a single light focused on a Ditto on stage. She started dancing to an exotic melody.

-Come on, sit down! The show is about to begin! The first round of drinks goes on my account – said Duplica.

The guys then sat down on one of the tables, and an Aromatisse brought them the drinks. The show started attracting every Pokémon on the hall, who ended up looking at the Ditto closely. The guys were impressed with the dance, which was hypnotic. Duplica, who was used to it, said:

-Don't think that here they do only shows for Pokémon. There is also a special show for the trainers that travel along the route and need a rest. Come on, I'll show you the resting room.

The trainers followed Duplica, and they entered one of the resting rooms behind the stage. It was a big place, full of luxurious stuff: Couches that gave massages, silk clothes, perfumes, food and wigs and shoes of every size and colour.

-We don't have any human working today, but I've got some actors that can do a great work just in front of me.

Ash didn't catch the pun and started looking for the actors everywhere: Behind the door, under the desk, in the shoe boxes… And of course, Misty lost her nerves again:

-What do you have inside your head, Ash?

-Since you are so smart, tell me, where are the actors? - asked Ash.

-You're doing this to annoy me don't you?

-No, you stupid - said Ash, sticking his tongue out to mock Misty.

Then she got angry and stomped Ash onto the floor, leaving a huge crater behind.

The others got back, afraid of suffering the same fate. Misty then said:

-Duplica, have you ever done a boys-only show? – asked Misty.

-No, but it sounds like a good idea… who wants to volunteer?

No one raised his hand, so she handpicked the actors.

-Ash and Gary, you're going to put on these costumes and you're going to go on stage.

Ash, still in his hole, muttered something that no one could understand. Gary did not say anything, and he seemed to have a plan for something.

Both guys started dressing up: Ash got dressed with a pair of tight boxers with a tail, and ears and hands of a Pikachu. Gary dressed with the same elements but from an Eevee.

Soon after they got on stage and started to dance, Gary with some degree of ability and Ash dancing like a dizzy Psyduck. To help Ash loosen himself, Gary pinched one of his butt cheeks, and Ash got scared. Then Gary surprised him again by holding him by the waist and getting his lips close to Ash's neck. But their dance got interrupted by three individuals who tried to kidnap Madame Dittó.

-Hey, that's my Ditto! What are you doing? - said Duplica.

The trio tried to run, but Bulbasaur caught them with his Vine Whip. A giant Nidoqueen robot then appeared, ripping apart the ceiling of the building and picking up the kidnappers, throwing them inside it via a small metallic door.

The kidnappers were, of course, Jenny, Jimmy and Persian. The customers ran away in every direction. Only the trainers stood still, unimpressed.

-Thank God the old witch told us to follow you, if we didn't arrive on time we'd had failed such an easy plan – said Jenny.

-Honey, we don't need you, we always have a B-plan – said one of the kidnappers.

The trio of kidnappers, who were transvestite members of Team Rocket 2.0, started reciting their catchphrase:

"To save the world of their lame vision,

To unite all okamas in the same show,

To shine with the talent of our own,

You'll miss the tickets if you're too slow.

Mary, Marylyn, Mary-Jane.

The stylish trio will give you a lesson on glamour,

Surrender to fashion or prepare yourselves to fight!

I mean, hello!"

-It seems the only requiring for entering Team Rocket is to have a catchphrase… - said Misty angrily.

-I mean, hello! Our catchphrase is the coolest of all. I'm gonna teach you the super lesson of today! – said Mary-Jane.

Then the robot kicked Ash's Bulbasaur, making him faint.

-Bulbasaur, come back! – said Ash, getting Bulbasaur back into his Poké Ball.

Then the Nidoqueen slapped the pillars of the building, ripping it apart. Then the robot proceeded to leave, but a Dralyx Tackled him, making it fall down. While the Pokémon was distracting the robot, the guys managed to escape via the hole Dralyx left in the floor. Misty then took out her Gyarados and asked him to do Dragon Fury, but it had no effect, because the robot was prepared to repel nearly every Pokémon attack. The Nidoqueen got up and used Hyper Beam, making Dralyx faint.

-Dralyx, you did a good job – said Brock, making Dralyx go back into his Poké Ball-

The robot tried to squeeze Brock, but it tripped and twisted its ankle. While everyone screamed his name, afraid that the robot might crush him, a shadow quickly picked him up. It was Matt's Greninja.

-Thanks Matt, thanks Greninja. You saved my life – said Brock.

When they were calm again, the trainers started to concoct a plan to defeat the robot. Matt suggested using brute force to break the cable box, then using fire to burn the plastic that covered them and finally electrocuting them with a Water-type attack, while a Pokémon distracted the trio of kidnappers. Brock took out Holycorn, because it had the speed necessary to confuse and distract his rivals. When Team Rocket 2.0 centered his attention in trying to attack Holycorn, Misty asked Gyarados to use Hyper Beam to break the cable box successfully. At that exact moment, Gary took out Arcanine and asked him to use Fire Fang, which seemed to work, but the robot started to move so that Arcanine would let it go, which he did. Gary gave Arcanine a Hyper Potion, and the Pokémon recovered his entire HP. Although Arcanine was now OK, it was worthless using the same strategy because Team Rocket had discovered the ruse. Gary also gave Brock and Ash a Revive for Dralyx and Bulbasaur.

Matt came out with a new plan. Now they had two perfectly fit Pokémon. Matt started commenting the strategy with his colleagues while they dodged Nidoqueen's attacks.

The plan started with Bulbasaur using Vine Whip again to restrain the robot as long as possible, while Misty's Gyarados and Brock's Dralyx did a combined attack of Hyper Beam and Rock Tomb. The glass of the robot's cabin and the controls broke, so the kidnappers couldn't move. Then Matt's Greninja used Water Shuriken inside the cable box, short-circuiting it. The robot finally exploded, and the kidnappers went flying away saying:

"Team Rocket goes flying again…!"

Madame Dittó also got flying, and when she hit the floor she was crushed as if she was a bugger. Everyone laughed, and the Pokémon murmured something angrily. Then they called a Nurse Joe to take care of the injured. Misty, Gary and Duplica had bruises, Brock a twisted ankle and Ash and Matt were covered in bruises too. Nurse Joe took all of them to the nearest hospital, and since Ash and Matt were the most serious injured, they took them to a separate room. The others, who didn't need much treatment at all, waited patiently for them to get out. When Joe finished his job, he left them in their stretchers to rest. Ash was thinking about the way Matt fought earlier, and said:

-You're a cheeky guy, but you made a good strategy back there…

-I wasn't expecting to hear that from you, Ash – said Matt, blushing slightly.

And so Matt, who was slightly rancorous against Ash, realized that Ash what a honest partner and someone who he could trust. Then they high-fived friendly.

Gary entered the room where they were resting with some bad news for them:

-Guys, I have some bad news. We'll have to work for Duplica for a while, we've wrecked her place and we have to pay for it, so we'll have to work for her again.

-What!? I will never wear that silly Pikachu costume again! – said a very ashamed Ash.

-Come on Ash; don't tell me that you didn't like my acting. I performed so well that it looked real! – said Gary mockingly.

Ash remembered the part where the other boy almost kissed his neck, and blushed so much that for once he wished that Misty punched him against the floor in one of her fury attacks. When they saw what happened, Gary and Matt started laughing. Our heroes decided to spend the night in the Pokémon center so they could resume their travel being well rested.