Yep, it's been nearly a month. What can I say? Well i've learned to sew this month and did a Ichigo cosplay. Was on stage and everything! the pictures are on facebook which is really embasassing but under the copious makeup you can't really tell it's me. (Thank god!)

Anyway I'm thanking needlesandthread for busting me out of my funk with this. And they don't even read my stuff! but I beta for them and their latest chapters are awesome. You guys don't have them yet, cos i've not send them back yet. Bad beta - very selfish!

Anyhoo, here you go folks. The morning after where things are revealed in the day light. Grimm doesn't react well.

Chapter 6

Ichigo laid awake that night, the feeling of another body beside him was so strange to him that he couldn't close his eyes. The smell of the man beside him was heavenly; it surrounded Ichigo from the pillows and sheets to the arms that crossed his chest. His mind was still reeling with all the new information and he just wanted to sit and read more about the world he'd just discovered. At the same time his head felt heavy and there was no way he'd be leaving the arms around him any time soon.

He did eventually fall asleep but woke before the other man, waking to find himself half on top of the other after the sleep shuffling through the night. Grimmjow's arms were still on him and he gentle slunk out from under them to use the bathroom. When he was out of the bed, the arms went looking for him, grabbing the pillows from the empty side and cramming them into his chest. Ichigo had a soft smile on his face as he disappeared into Grimmjow's small ensuite and did the necessary. Afterwards he was at a loss for what to do, his routine in shreds along with the rest of his life. He noticed a tremble in his limbs that he couldn't identify and it kept him from snuggling back down with Grimmjow. He pulled a pair of pyjama trousers out of the bag Shinji had given him and pulled them over his boxers before heading out into the living space, hoping for solitude to think some more.

The living room was empty and Ichigo stood at the window overlooking the street as he took some deep breaths to calm the tremors. It kind of worked so he reached up with both hands above his head, eyes closed and started again, stretching his long body out to dispel some of the tension. He dropped his upper body gracefully over his legs, hanging for a few breaths and shaking his arms out. He straightened once more, stretching his back a little more and groaning a little at the feeling. A chuckle sounded from behind him scaring Ichigo into an almost crouch, turned towards the noise but making himself small.

The laugh stopped instantly, a pair of hands held out to show the other meant no harm and they stopped moving forward. "Hey, sorry if I scared you."

Ichigo stared wide eyed at the man who'd been so ill the night before standing looking apologetic in front of him. The eyes looked tired but kind and his chin was covered in unshaved scruff. The hair Ichigo had only seen wet the night before sat about shoulder length and wavy, kind of messed up since the other had just got out of bed. He was dressed just in pyjama bottoms with a lean torso dusted in dark hair on show. "Are you ok? I mean can I help you?"

He smiled back, shaking his head before approaching again. "I'm alright, sorry if I scared you last night as well. Your name is Ichigo right? I'm Starrk." He held his hand out, hesitating when Ichigo didn't return the gesture. "Yeah, Ulquiorra said you were a bit odd. It's a hand shake; it's how people say hello." Starrk took Ichigo's hand gently and shook it, letting it go after a moment. "I'm getting a coffee, would you like one?"

"Coffee?"

iiiiiii

Ichigo didn't like coffee it turned out, Grimmjow leaving his room in time to see Ichigo's ick face once more. He was glaring at the white mug on the coffee table as if warning it to stay away. Grimmjow just lifted it as he passed, sitting next to Ichigo as he chugged the drink. He then leaned in for a kiss from Ichigo who struggled away, holding his hands up and turning his head. All Grimmjow managed to get was a peck on the cheek but he laughed loudly as he fought. "How can you drink that stuff?" Ichigo rubbed at the spot Grimmjow had pecked, sniffing his hand to check he didn't smell like the vile liquid.

"Acquired taste." Grimmjow's smile turned a little feral as he remembered saying the same thing the night before and Ichigo's face reddened as his thoughts turned to the same.

"Leave the poor kid alone; hasn't he had enough of a shock before you started molesting him?" Starrk handed Ichigo a glass of water which he accepted with thanks as the older man sat in the lone chair at the side of the sofa.

"Didn't hear too many complaints last night." Grimmjow's face was smug but Ichigo just shrank in on himself more. He was uncomfortable and was supressing the urge to move, to flee somewhere safe. "So, you're clearly feeling better."

Starrk nodded, running one hand down his back. "Got a bit of an ache but better than I have in ages. Might actually go out and do stuff today."

"Yeah, we're going out as well. Better grab something to eat first. You hungry Babe?" Grimmjow turned to Ichigo who shrugged, not wanting to put anyone to bother. He always made his own breakfast but this wasn't his house and it wasn't his food. "How about waffles?"

"Waffle?"

That question brought a loud laugh from the hallway, Nnoitra entering the living area with a wicked grin on his face. "Almost forgot we had California Man staying with us. Or would George of the Jungle be more fitting? Waffles are food kid, hot yumminess covered in chocolate. You do know what chocolate is right?"

Ichigo drew his legs in front of him, perching his heels on the seat and dropped his gaze to his thighs. He nodded in response but didn't look at the others. When the two at his side chuckled he winced slightly, feeling a little hurt at the teasing. Nnoitra disappeared into the kitchen for a second, coming out with a cardboard carton in his hand, lifting the contents out and holding it in front of Ichigo. "This is an egg, can you say egg?"

Ichigo stood up and brushed past Nnoitra, turning his head so the tears tracking down his cheek would be hidden. He opened Grimmjow's bedroom door, closing it behind him and slinking to the floor against it. His hands went to his hair, pulling slightly to try and calm himself down. He'd never really cried before, not since he'd grown out of falling over and the sensation wasn't pleasant. The hot tears stung his eyes and his head was all full and sandy feeling. The world was too confusing to him, too big and too different. He'd thought he would manage but he was too far behind these men. He'd never be taken seriously by them, only coddled and made fun of.

That made his mind up, this place wasn't for him and he still had time to get back to the place he belonged. He stood up, stripping the white t-shirt off and wiping his face with it. He pulled clean underwear out, slipping it on first before digging out an outfit Shinji had provided, sliding the blue denims up and around his waist. They were a tad short for him but he liked the way they clung to his legs. He was just lifting a new white shirt out when the door opened.

iiiiii

"You're a dick you know that." Grimmjow had found it hard to wipe the smile off his face at first, Nnoitra being his usual obnoxious self but when Ichigo had got up and walked off it ceased to be funny.

"The kid needs to lighten up, he takes everything so seriously." Nnoitra just shrugged as he spoke, putting the egg carton onto the coffee table and taking Ichigo's seat.

"You ever think he might not know how to lighten up? What if he'd never had a friend joke with him, what if he took everything seriously because that is all he's ever done. You made him cry Nnoi." Starrk wasn't laughing; he'd seen the hurt on the younger man's face.

"And it's his birthday you dick." Grimmjow punched Nnoitra on the arm as he got up, going to see to the upset boy in his bedroom. He raised his hand to knock on the door, pausing for a moment with a frown on his face as he realised his knuckles were clear and scab free. It should've taken a week to heal up the damage the guy's face had done to them. He then realised Ichigo's face was healed as well, the cut above his eye gone without a trace this morning. "Ichigo? I'm coming in."

Grimmjow opened the door, his frown deepening as he took in the sight before him. Ichigo was standing in a pair of ass hugging blue jeans that were still open at the fly and was pulling a white vest on over his pale chest. Covering the chest, abdomen and back were huge scars, criss crossing over each other and showing clear age differences. The reddest one was on his shoulder blade, cutting down and under his left arm. "What the fuck are they?"

"Grimmjow please," Ichigo backed off the other, the vest falling over most of them but not all. His upper arms weren't clear either and the vest's v neck showed the ends of some of them.

"Why the hell are you covered in scars?" Grimmjow approached Ichigo and grabbed the arms that were out to stop him. Holding both of Ichigo's wrists in one hand he lifted them up and raised the white shirt to see the torso up close.

"Don't, please let me go Grimmjow!" Ichigo screamed the last, struggling but hopelessly against the stronger man. His screams drew Starrk and Nnoitra to the doorway, both entering with huge eyes as they took in the state of the youngest.

"How, why? Fuck." Nnoitra was having trouble processing the sheer number of scars he could see but Starrk was more focused on the distraught young man handing in Grimmjow's grasp.

"Grimmjow let him go." Starrk approached them both; one hand reaching for Ichigo's captured wrists and the other lowering the white shirt. Grimmjow appeared to realise what he'd been doing and dropped Ichigo like he had burned him. Starrk caught the younger, holding him for a moment even though he was surprised the other let him. Ichigo's face fell against his shoulder, his hands dropping against Starrk's chest and Starrk wrapped his arms around the other, dealing with the violent shaking in the body against him. "You're alright; Grimmjow's just got a fright that's all."

"A fucking fright? Some ass has been using him as a god damn etch-a-sketch." Grimmjow roared the last bit, Ichigo wincing down more into Starrk.

"And you think grabbing and screaming at him is going to make it better?"

That made Grimmjow look down at Ichigo, seeing the streams of tears flow down his face. Ichigo turned his face when he saw Grimmjow looking at him. "Shit, I'm sorry Ichi. I promise I won't shout anymore." Grimmjow reached a hand out and touched Ichigo's shoulder, the other boy flinching away. Ichigo broke away from Starrk, tears still flowing down his face.

"Don't touch me."

The three men watched him shake more and more by the second, his arms coming up to cover his exposed marks. Ulquiorra chose that moment to enter the room, looking between his roommate and the strange boy they'd brought home last night. He easily read the tension between Grimmjow and Ichigo and he clocked Ichigo trying to cover his exposed skin, noticing the scars he was trying to hide. He knew then what had happened. And it was mainly his fault.

Ulquiorra spotted a red checked shirt on the bed, what Ichigo was probably planning to put on and he lifted it, walking over to the traumatised boy and held it open, Ichigo relaxing a fraction and threading his arm through, turning to push the other in as well. That gave Ulquiorra a better look at some of the scars, their placements making it clear that they were not self-inflicted like Ulquiorra had initially thought. "Ichigo, do you want to talk about this with us?" The answer was a very clear shaking of the head. "Would you talk to just Grimmjow?" Ichigo glanced over Grimmjow, not making any motions either way. Ulquiorra started to back away, snagging Starrk's sleeve and tugging on it slightly. Starrk took the hint and followed, Nnoitra leaving with no sign needed.

Grimmjow and Ichigo stared at each other for a moment, Ichigo slowly buttoning the shit up over his vest. He'd started with the wrong button however and it was uneven. Grimmjow chuckled softly, slowly walking up to Ichigo and stopping his hands, undoing the buttons from the bottom and redoing them in turn. Ichigo stopped his hands at his sternum, holding them for a moment. "It's not what you think."

Grimmjow took a breath to keep his cool. "I think that someone is hurting you but what I don't know is why."

"It's not like that." Ichigo was speaking softly and not looking at Grimmjow. "It's hard to explain." Ichigo looked around, searching for something but stopped when Grimmjow gripped him gently by his upper arms. "No one is hurting me."

"You don't have to protect anyone here. You've barely got any skin on your back that hasn't been touched. You knew I'd freak didn't you? That's why you wouldn't take your shirt off last night."

"I knew you'd want an explanation that I couldn't give. And you said I could tell you later, or never."

"I didn't think it was this, that you'd been abused your whole life."

Ichigo scowled, stepping back and breaking Grimmjow's grip. "No one has been abusing me."

"Are you telling me truthfully that your father hasn't cut you? No way have you done this to yourself. I've seen self-harm before, trust me on that and these haven't been done by you." Grimmjow reached out and pulled Ichigo's shirt to the side to show the worst shoulder.

Ichigo was honest by nature so he didn't respond; knowing Grimmjow would just take it the wrong way that his father had been the one to cut him. Ichigo looked up at Grimmjow, seeing the confusion in his face but he was beyond helping it at that point. Ichigo turned from him and walked out of the bedroom, heading for the front door to the apartment and bolting out. Grimmjow was half way out of his room when the door banged shut, his face angry and hurt all at the same time. He'd thought Ichigo could talk to him, they'd got on so well then night before. Truthfully they'd known each other for less than a day and for a heartbeat he thought that it might be better that way. Ichigo would go home and be out of his life for ever. He could just drop the bag of clothes with the money back to Hirako and be done with it.

And never see that innocent smile again. Or the ick face, which made Grimmjow chuckle just thinking about it. The wide eyed wonder on Ichigo's face when he was talking about the internet and computers was fabulous and the sleepy man who'd snuggled up to him the night before was so gorgeous he hadn't wanted to fall asleep. He wanted to rewind to last night, to redo that morning once more only not fuck it up quite so much.

Ulquiorra found Grimmjow in the living room staring at the front door. He'd left his room when the front door banged shut and realised what had happened just looking at his friend's stricken face.

"He's not a cutter."

"I know, he'd not get to his back like that. But why wouldn't he tell me what had happened?"

"Grimm, I'd known you for five years and I couldn't talk to you about it. And you've probably just sent him back there. Someone has hurt him; he doesn't see it as abuse. But this is the kid who didn't know about a television until you told him what it was. Maybe he doesn't know what abuse is? Maybe he's been taught it's something else?"

"I'm going to go and get him. Come with me? You keep a cooler head than me." Grimmjow pulled on his trainers that were sitting by the door, Ulquiorra pushing his feet into his black boots and zipping them up the inside. Grimmjow lifted one of Ichigo's borrowed sneakers, Ulquiorra letting out a small curse at the thought of the boy running in the streets barefooted.

"Will he even find his way home?"

"I don't know, he might head to Hirako's so we can check there after his place. It's not too far after all."

iiiiii

Ichigo ran. He'd been running on a treadmill for years, for an hour each day so he was fit but his feet weren't usually bare and the concrete outside was very unforgiving. He stepped on something sharp as he rounded the corner to the park which made him stop for a second to have a look. He pulled his foot up onto his other knee, turning it and seeing the sharp stone stuck in his arch. He pulled it, flinching at the pain but jut tossed it aside and started moving again. It hurt to walk on but not unbearable and he knew he could fix it when he got home. He skirted the park, spotting things he'd seen the day before with glee. There was the bench Grimmjow and his friends had sat on. And the crossing that was near his street. He turned onto his block with a sigh of relief, checking his watch and seeing it was half past ten. Half an hour before he would've been caught. The pain in his foot seemed to intensify as he turned into the alley with the metal stair case but he knew he could make it up even just hopping. Only problem was, the bottom set of stairs was no longer there.

iiiiiii

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra turned into the alley next to Ichigo's building, Grimmjow spotting the fresh blood on the ground. Ichigo was nowhere in sight but both men clearly heard the sobs coming from behind the large dumpster. They slowly made themselves visible to Ichigo, the sobs stopping as soon as he spotted them. Ichigo was trembling again, too much adrenaline in his body that was now leaking out.

"They're gone."

Grimmjow glanced at Ulquiorra, the other not knowing what he was talking about either. "What's gone Ichigo?"

"The stairs. The first set, where are they?"

Grimmjow glanced up at the fire escape and saw the bottom ladder secured again. "It's there Ichigo; it's just tucked up again. You need to be above it to release it. It's to stop people climbing it to break into people's houses."

"But how do I go home? I can't walk through the front door, I don't have a key and my father will find out."

"Then don't go home. I thought you were staying with me?"

"You don't want me. I'm broken and useless. Too scarred for you."

Grimmjow's eyes went wide. "You think that's why I'm upset? Because you've got a few marks on you? I want you because you are the sweetest guy I've ever met. I don't give a shit about your scars, or how you got them. I know it wasn't you."

"A couple of them were. See, I help people. I can make them better. I just have to bleed to do it."

Grimmjow was frowning deeply then. "Well you're bleeding right now and I certainly don't feel any better. Can I take you home? My home. We can talk there and I can get your foot clean. This is really not a place to be walking around with nothing on."

"It hurts."

"I bet."

iiiiii

It took the three of them a while to get back, Ichigo's body still in shock from not being able to get home. He'd only been coping by knowing the path back was still open to him. At quarter past eleven when he got him he knew it was closed forever. His father would know by now and would be looking for him, waiting to take him back and make sure he'd never be in danger again.

Starrk saw them coming from the window and was waiting by the open door as they topped the stairs at their floor. Ichigo was so pale as he passed, Starrk stroking a hand through his hair. The boy was gently directed to the couch and his feet were lifted onto the table. From across the room Starrk could see they were cut up and filthy, one with quite a lot of blood still flowing from a cut on the sole.

"Well that will teach you to play outside with no shoes on young man."

Ulquiorra fetched a basin of warm water while Starrk got the first aid kit. Grimmjow had pulled a couple of towels out of the cupboard and had sat Ichigo feet on one to catch the blood flow.

Grimmjow gently started to clean Ichigo's feet, sitting on the table with one, then the other foot on his lap. He was delicate with the wet kitchen towel, easing the tiny stones and dirt particles out of the cuts and folds and he glanced at Ichigo's face every now and them to make sure he was alright. He was sitting staring into the distance with a fairly blank look on his face for a while. He hissed and flinched when Grimmjow pressed on a sore patch, sitting up to stop the other but hesitating.

"I'm sorry."

"What for? I'm the one hurting you." Grimmjow didn't look up as he spoke.

"For freaking everyone out and running off."

"You could explain instead. I get you don't want to but you'll have to eventually."

Ichigo looked around, seeing the faces of his new friends and he sighed. He looked up at Starrk, seeing the colour lacking from his skin and his breathing harsher than it was this morning. "Are you alright Starrk?"

"Don't change the subject."

"Answer me."

"I've been better." That drew Grimmjow and Ulquiorra's attention to him the pair standing automatically to go to the other. "I'm alright guys."

"You were so good this morning, what has happened to change it so quickly." Ulquiorra walked over and pinched his pulse point, one hand on his chest to feel his heart and breathing. They'd all become carers to the ill man and knew what to look for.

"And I was so bad last night, what happened to change it to this morning. It happens guys." He stumbled a little, Ulquiorra there to support him.

"Bring him to me." Ichigo patted the seat next to him, shuffling a little to face the other.

"Ichigo, we need to take care of your feet." Grimmjow pulled him back gently but was stopped when Ichigo's hand held his.

"I am. Trust me, please? I know it's a bit ask but I can answer your question as well as help." Ichigo reached out his hand to Starrk, the other taking it automatically. Starrk frowned at the strange boy, watching him bring his injured foot over his lap and held it with his free hand, digging it into to the cut deeply. The blood ran faster and the boy grit his teeth, squeezing Starrk's hand tightly. Starrk instantly felt better, his head clearing and his heart calming a bit as well. The itch in his skin had reduced and he took a deep breath with no pain for the first time in ages.

Grimmjow reached a hand to stop Ichigo, pulling the now bloody hand away with a yell. "What the hell?"

Ichigo slumped to the sofa, his breath a little heavy as he leaned round. "I can help more. Have you got a knife?"

Grimmjow stood up and backed away. "Explain now. You're not making any sense."

"The reason I'm all scarred is because every-one of them was helping someone else. And they heal up instantly. I don't know why they scar but it doesn't matter. Get me a knife and help your friend."

Nnoitra held out his hand, a flick knife extended to the man on the sofa. No one had even noticed him coming in. Grimmjow went to snatch the weapon out of his hand before Ichigo could get it. But Nnoitra held it out of his reach, extending it to Ichigo again. "If the kid can help Starrk then give him a chance. Ulquiorra can stitch him up if he'd full of bullshit."

Ichigo smiled up at the tall man, taking the knife and dropping it in his lap. He struggled out of the red shirt, tossing it behind him before lifting the white vest up and off. He lifted one of the clean towels and held it to his side, glancing over at Grimmjow to ask for his help. "Can you hold this here? I don't want to ruin these jeans or your sofa."

"How are you so calm about this?"

"I've been doing this since I was four." Ichigo extended his hand to Starrk again, the older man hesitant but he took it. Ichigo crossed his body with his other arm, reaching round to his back with the knife extended and he thrust it in, yanking it forward and round his flank. He kept it low to not grate along his ribs and he cut almost parallel to another he'd done years ago. The blood flowed and he dropped the knife, pressing a hand into the cut. He squeezed his eyes closed with the pain, knowing he was more timid with self-inflicted wounds. His father could draw out more healing than he could himself only because it seemed to go hand in hand with pain. He pushed and pushed, digging into the cut with his hand until he had his fingernails in his own flesh and he was whining.

The others were too distracted by the amount of blood flowing, Nnoitra grabbing another towel and holding it over the hand in the wound. "I take it back, stop it please." Nnoitra tried to pull the hand out but it wouldn't budge.

"One more second." Ichigo took a deep breath, releasing it as he felt the click. He opened his eyes to see Starrk staring at his head with wide eyes. Grimmjow was pressed against his back and he was staring at the glowing hair on his head. Ichigo ducked his head to hide his eyes but Starrk reached out his free hand and pulled his chin up, meeting Ichigo's changed eyes without a flinch.

"How? You are beautiful."

"I don't know. I just know I can."

Grimmjow pulled his face around, blue eyes wide at the sight of the golden and black eyes. He leaned in and covered Ichigo's lips with his own, Ichigo inhaling deeply at the touch. Starrk gasped at the feeling in his body, the freedom he felt in his limbs and the general wakefulness all over. Ichigo smiled shyly at Grimmjow before he turned back to Starrk. "Feeling better?"

Starrk nodded, reaching his hand out to pull Ichigo towards him, pressing a closed mouth kiss on his forehead. "Thank you."

"I didn't fix you. I just made you a bit better. I can't do it myself, sorry."

"Don't apologise to me. I didn't think I'd be able to move around much again before I died. I feel like I could go for a run right now."

"I can help you regularly; keep you well until they get you fixed?"

All eyes snapped to Ichigo, Starrk starting to tremble a bit. "Seriously?"

Ichigo shrugged, wriggling a bit on the couch to stretch his body slightly. He ached afterwards all the time and needed to stretch out.

"We need to take care of you first." Grimmjow pushed Ichigo against the back of the sofa, going to gently remove the towels from the wound when Ichigo rolled his eyes, yanking the towels away to reveal his bloody hand pressed against blood stained skin but no open wound. A pink line ran along his side and the towels were nearly saturated but no sign of the wound he'd been digging at.

"I told you, I was taking care of me too. Check my feet out if you don't believe me." Ichigo lifted his once bleeding foot to show it was cut free. "Can I grab a shower please?"

iiiii

The four friends cleaned the living room up a bit in silence. They were all a bit shell shocked except for Starrk who was just delighted at being able to move around so easily.

"He," Grimmjow started, the others looking at him but he stopped before he finished saying anything sensible.

"He did." Nnoitra nodded as he spoke.

"Then he," Grimmjow was doing his best but was struggling to cope.

"Yep." Ulquiorra was sorting the washing to get the blood out of the towels but he was shocked to the core as well.

Ichigo didn't take long, returning to the living room and stopping at the door. He wanted to get his clothes from earlier so was topless again, nothing to hide after all. The four stopped and stared at him, varying degrees of shock on their faces which made Ichigo smirk. "I take it this is what I've been looking like when I've seen new things." He walked up to them. "You don't get to tease me about not knowing stuff anymore alright?" He was facing Nnoitra who nodded. "You don't get to treat me any different just because I helped you okay?" He turned to Starrk who nodded, pulling him in for a light hug. "Are we alright?" Ichigo was a little more hesitant when he turned to Grimmjow but his smile returned when the larger man pulled him into his arms.

"I love you." Grimmjow pulled Ichigo's chin up to look at him closer, loving the warm brown eyes widening as he spoke. "We're better than alright."

Hmmm, how was it? Busy hour for Ichigo eh? Well birthday celebrations next. With a little interlude back at Ichigo's apartment...