Chapter 7: Wear a backbone, not a wishbone

Bella had missed Harry's funeral, instead of supporting our dad she had run off to Italy. Leah and Seth were still out of commission from phasing either this week. I looked down at the acceptance letters scattered on my bed. There were five letters total: UGA, CWU, NYU, Reed and UTK. I only really wanted to attend Reed. Portland Oregon wasn't too far from home. Since Bella had gotten her acceptance letter to University of Alaska, I figured it was my duty to stay at least somewhat close to our father. I knew Bella wasn't really going to college; it was a cover story so she could go become part of the coven of the undead. Bella and I would be splitting for good soon; I didn't know how to feel about that. As of right now it was just dad and I, Bella was in Florida with Edward visiting our mom Renee.

I sighed at my reflection; Paul was picking me up soon to go to Emily's. I wanted to be there for Leah. She had to be in hell right now, and I wanted to check in on Seth. Although I'm almost positive that he would think this was the coolest thing ever.

My cheeks were starting to sink in, my collarbone was jutting out, and my hipbones could double as doorknobs. I was fast losing weight from all the stress. My pink-blonde hair hung in limp strands down my back and my complexion was paler than normal. I looked like hell. I rubbed my eyes; I had dark bags under them. I brushed my hair so it was perfectly straight and my bangs covered some of my eyes, hopefully taking attention off the dark shadows. I slipped into a new pair of jean shorts, the weight loss causing me to go from a size 2 to a size 0. I paired them with a pale pink V-neck and white Keds. I slipped black ray-bans over my eyes and walked downstairs. I waited outside for Paul, since it was May the weather was finally starting to warm up. It was Friday, Bella and Edward left this morning. Dad wasn't happy he was going with her but she's technically an adult, what could he do? I breathed in the fresh air and closed my eyes. Hopefully the guys could get off patrols for a little bit and we could all go to the beach, Emily and I have been dying to go.

Paul honked the horn of his Mustang, his baby, and smiled at me behind the wheel. I slid in and Paul looked over at me, "You look like hell Little Swan." I rolled my eyes at the nickname. He and Jared both referred to Bella and me as 'Big Swan' and 'Little Swan' despite us being the same age. I was smaller, shorter, and more petite.

"Thanks so much LaHote." I muttered although I knew he was right. When we got to Emily's I smiled when I saw Embry's wolf form come out of the tree line. He was my best friend. I turned to Paul, "How are Seth and Leah?" Paul groaned, "She's such a bitch. She's purposely making all of us miserable. I get it, Sam hurt her, but now she's forcing everyone to live through it over and over again." I shook my head; I don't think anyone understood how much pain Leah was in right now. The love of her life was now inside her head every time she phased, and she had to hear his thoughts on the love of his life. It sucked when the person you loved no longer loved you back. I figured it was indefinably worse to know that at one point Sam had loved her versus had he never loved her. She loved him almost as much as Emily did and almost is the worse way to love someone.

"So insensitive…" I muttered and met Embry in the middle of Emily's front yard. "Where's Leah?" He motioned over to the trees where a white wolf was laid on the ground. I ruffled the top of Embry's grey head and walked towards her. She growled as I approached and backed herself up against a tree. I held my hands up in a surrendering position and lowered myself to the ground in front of her. "I know you're hurting, I'm not here to apologize or pity you. I know you don't want that." Her body slowly relaxed and she came over to rest her head on my knee. I ran my fingers threw her fur, "You're strong Leah, you're going to get through this. I'm right behind you, cheering you on." Leah yelped happily and I smiled. She was the only other girl, besides Emily, that I hung out with regularly. I just wanted to see her happy. She trotted off and came back on two legs. She held her hand out and pulled me up, "Thanks Abs…"

"Anytime…" Another wolf, a light brown color, came bounding out. His happy care-free demeanor immediately let me know that this wolf was Seth. He saw me and jumped up to put his giant paws on my shoulders, his version of a hug. I laughed and he licked my face, I was right he was beyond thrilled with this.

I walked into Emily's house and helped her fix lunch. "Where's your sister?" Emily was kneading dough on the counter. "Florida…" I answered as I made homemade lemonade. There was nothing better than lemonade in the summer. I turned my head to see Jacob and Embry talking on the back porch.

"Everyone gets along with her; she's infiltrated the pack easily. You guys all have a great relationship with her, I want that." Jacob sounded so….broken.

"Then maybe you should stop fucking around with her sister." Embry growled.

"I never wanted this fucking imprint, you know that." Imprint? What did that mean?

"Well now you have one, and you're going to break her. She's already different…harder. This life is taking its toll on her, she's so much thinner. She's harder now; she's supposed to be able to lean on you. We all have a great relationship with her because you don't. We're doing everything we can to make sure she's okay since she doesn't have you to do it. We all love her, she's an imprint, and she belongs with us. You're making this hell for everyone and it doesn't have to be. It should have been anyone else but you." I could see Embry ranting.

"Who do you mean? You?" Jacob stepped up threateningly to Embry. They were chest to chest and shaking. I dropped the lemon I was squeezing and walked outside without thinking. I stepped in between both of them and tried to push them away from each other. "Stop! I know you're fighting over me." I glared, "And I don't want to know why…" I added when Embry opened his mouth. "Just stop it, you guys are pack brothers. You need each other." I flicked both their ears, "I'm not a fucking referee…" I grumbled on my way inside. I heard Embry laugh.

I don't think it's possible to get over some things, they change you too much - shake you up until all your bones are disjointed. No matter how long you spend putting yourself back together it won't be the same as before.

You can't really protect yourself from it either because a lot of the daggers come from inside. You'll spend so much time putting on armor against the world you'll forget how much damage you can do to yourself.

Everything was about to change…again.

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor playing checkers with Emily. The guys had gone out to hunt down Victoria. A loud bam resounded throughout the house and I looked up, Paul was livid. Emily went up to Sam quietly and I went in search of Embry. I squeezed Paul's shoulder on my way out and he smiled at me gratefully, "Thank you for not being a leech lover."

I found Embry outside with Quil, Seth, Leah, and Jared. "What happened?" I asked no one in particular. They were all arguing and stopped when I asked what happened. Embry came over and hugged me tight; he kissed the top of my head. All the guys seemed to like to do that, I think it was because I was so short. "Emmett crossed the treaty line and knocked into Paul. It was about to be war I swear Abs. Everyone was so pissed. That breaks the treaty, Carlisle and Jasper had to talk everyone down."

"The only reason it worked is because that leech can manipulate our emotions." Jared said resentfully. I'm sure that was true, I'm also sure Paul would have torn Emmett into shreds.

"I bet Sam is really mad." I said into Embry's chest.

Leah snorted, "No shit." I shoved her and she laughed.

It was the last day of classes, the beginning of June. May had passed with little interruption. The pack was still chasing Victoria and she kept invading both them and the Cullen's. Jacob and I were still on nonspeaking terms, Leah and I began attached at the hip, the rest of the pack treated me like a little sister, and Angela and I won best duo at the dance competition in Seattle. Bella had come back home from Florida and had since been going back and forth between Jacob and Edward. We rarely spoke.

Angela and I walked out of the building, "Freedom!" Angela yelled and twirled in a circle in the parking lot. When we had first met Angela was quiet and mousy, dance had given her an outlet and really brought her out of her shell. She had gotten accepted into CWU as well. We were talking about going to college together and joining their dance team. She was my one normal friend and I loved her dearly. I smiled, high school was finally over. I turned to find my sister since she was still my ride to and from school. I really needed to invest in car before college. Jesus. I spotted Bella in between her two favorite men: Edward and Jacob. "I gotta go Ang…" I muttered and jogged over towards my sister.

Jacob was leaning against one of the motorcycles that he and Bella had restored so long ago. He was wearing a tight fitted black V-neck with grease stained jeans and black work boots. He looked every bit the bad boy on campus. He was also undeniably gorgeous. I could see Edward smirk from amusement. Get the hell out of my head. He shook his head. Sigh, stupid telepath. He laughed. If I didn't hate him on principle, I think I would have liked him. I personally had nothing against vampires, though I'd never admit that in front of the pack. I just figured that they were just as dangerous as shape-shifters, look at Emily's face. They each had their own demons to handle and they both did it well. The Cullen's didn't drink human blood and the pack kept a good handle on their tempers. Two sides to the same coin, no matter how much they want to deny it.

Edward did look at me then, he looked mildly shocked. I guess he supposed I shared the same views as my friends, but that wasn't the case. He gave me a genuine smile and I half him a half smile in return. I think we had reached a mutual respect for each other.

Jacob was trying to inform Bella, again, about the treaty. Then dropped the bomb on why Edward really wanted her out of the Forks the weekend they went to Florida. Bella was livid and before I knew it, my ride home was hopping on the back of Jacob's motorcycle and riding off. Well shit.

"I could give you a ride home if you like." Edward offered politely. I raised my eyebrow, "Bella is the love of my….existence. You are an extension of her. We will protect you just as fiercely as we protect her. Although I think you have enough protection with Jacob's friends." He smirked. I controlled my life; I could make my own decisions. I nodded.

"You're not so bad." I whispered in his Volvo on the way to my house. As it turned out we had ve4ry similar taste in music, classical. We both played the piano and he was just as cynical as I was. We could have been friends in a past life.

"You are very nice Abby-Lynn, you are both very much like and very different from your sister." He looked over at me, "I'm glad you don't hate us. I hope you will learn to forgive Bella." I figured we would get to this eventually. I chose to replay his absent months in my head.

"She's changed so much…." I whispered, my eyes still squeezed tight. "I miss my sister, and she hasn't been my sister in a while."

"I could talk to her." He offered and I was surprised, he didn't automatically jump to Bella's defense. "I am old enough to realize when someone is wrong Abby-Lynn even if it is the person I love." He reasoned. Well then.

"If she'll listen to anyone, it'll be you." I told him honestly, "Thanks for the ride Edward." I waved goodbye as we pulled into my driveway and I got out of the car.

Bella didn't stay mad I assumed, since I heard her talking softly to someone in her bedroom. II could hear her voice, "She doesn't understand anything Edward…." I knew Edward could speak at a decibel I wouldn't be able to hear, but he also knew I was listening.

"I think she might understand more than you think." He said clearly. "She's your sister love, you need her."

"I just need you…" I heard her pathetic whimper. Right then I swore I would never become dependent on anyone. I wouldn't become my sister; I would never need a man.

Author's Note: I'm on a roooooll. Anyway, I'm glossing over a lot because everything is pretty trivial and focused around Bella before the Battle. The next chapter will be the graduation party and graduation itself. xoxo, Lottie