"Fuck."

The word fell quietly from my lips. Beside me, Karma growled. "Easy, girl." I whispered, tossing her a shrimp from the little cocktail in front of me. She jumped to eat it quickly, and I swear I could see the hell hound smile.

My job was simple. Wait for the Tommy guy to come down for a drink after talking with the investigating officers.

I just didn't realize that the investigating officer would be Agent Beyonce, also known as Castiel.

Problem. I shot the word out to Crowley like a hiss.

Or possible solution. The demon offered.

No. No. NO. Absolutely not.

We'll need all the help we can get.

Not him.

Give me one good, solid, logical, tactical reason as to why not. I didn't answer, and from across the room I could see Crowley smirk. I thought so.

We'd already checked Tommy and Vince's rooms, we just wanted to talk with the guy himself to see what headway we could make. With Castiel beating us to that one, Crowley was right. The added angel muscle would be useful.

Fuck.

I still don't understand fully why you can't just reach out to him.

You saw what happened when the Winchesters knew. I reminded him. If I'd stayed, loyalties would been torn. Castiel wouldn't have been able to help Sam like they both needed.

And now?

I didn't get a chance to answer, that time. Crowley had made his move. "I guess that makes me Agent Jay-Z." He said. I could see the automatic shift in Castiel's stance, that mix of loathing and unhappiness.

Cas didn't turn around, though. He walked straight out the doors, with Crowley tailing. Stay close.

I kept myself disguised and this time, invisible, following the duo outside to Castiel's car. He had gotten rid of the pimp mobile.

I wondered briefly what he had done with the things I had stored inside of it.

"Come on, feathers!" Crowley shouted after the angel. "Bumping into each other, working the same leads. What are the odds, Cassie?" They stopped at the car, the pair on opposite sides of it. "Fate brought us together."

"I'm not interested." Castiel stated bluntly.

"Why not?" Crowley continued, almost pouting a little bit. "We made a somewhat effective team against Amara. It's been months, I mean MONTHS since we last tried to kill each other. And, we both have got very, very good reasons to want Lucifer dead."

Castiel stopped in his tracks, then. I could see the expression change. He no longer was simply tired of Crowley being there.

Now he was pissed.

"Don't." Castiel demanded, his tone instantly commanding the conversation to end. Crowley wasn't big on that, though, so he waited a few moments before speaking again.

"I'm sorry for what happened." Crowley said, his voice sombering. He pointed to something on Castiel's person, something I couldn't see. "You kept it. For her, right?"

"I will smite you."

"No you won't." Crowley waved a dismissive hand at the angel. "Because I'm not the one you're angry at. You're angry at yourself, and you're angry at Lucifer. Now, while you were gabbing with Vince's second fiddle, I was busy ransacking his room. Found these." Crowley reached in to his coat pocket, pulling out a few letters that I had found. "Postcards from his beloved sister Wendy. Oh, and lookie here. An address and everything." He tossed them in to the front seat of the truck. "Worth a look."

Castiel unlocked the car, reaching in to take a look at the postcards.

Stay on Tommy. Crowley's command was clear as a bell as he got in the car with Castiel.

Keep me updated. I requested in turn.

Will do.

Castiel drove them off, to the address for the sister, Wendy. I watched them go, wishing I could be in the car with them.

"I miss you." I whispered. I did. Terribly. I wished I could be with him, with Castiel; I wished I could just drop all of this and run after them and…

And that would cause problems - I would be the cause of many problems. Castiel might not even want me around, anymore. He had good memories or me, before all of this. Best not to taint those with a reality he doesn't know about.

I dropped the invisibility, and walked back inside. Karma followed, dutiful and quiet, as I took a seat at the bar. Tommy was already there.

"You look beat." I told him. He looked over at me, giving me the whole guy's once-over. I couldn't blame him. I knew I looked pretty damn hot.

His response, though, surprised me. "So do you." I stared at him for a moment, bewildered, until he continued. "You've got a far-away look in your eyes, like you're looking for someone you miss and know you won't ever be able to see them."

"Sounds like you know the feeling."

"I know the look." He corrected, waving at the bartender. "Beer, whatever's good on tap, and whatever she wants."

"I'll have the same." I responded. Tommy nodded approvingly. "My name is Diana." I offered a hand. He shook it willingly.

"Tommy."

"You look familiar." I pointed, pretending I had to think for a moment. "Aren't you from that band? Ladykillers, right?"

"Ladyheart, actually." Tommy corrected. "But close. You a fan?"

"My older sister, definitely." I lied. "I picked up a few songs here and there that I liked."

"Really?"

"Yeah. My favorite was Bloody Messiah." I only remembered that one because it was on a poster in one of their rooms.

"Really?" Tommy let out a small laugh. "I wouldn't have guessed."

"I tend to be full of surprises." The bartender set our drinks down in front of us. "Cheers." I clinked my glass to his, and we both drank with a small smile.

I got to work, then, chatting him up to learn everything I could. About four beers later, Tommy was telling me everything. Vince's red eyes, the way he'd been thrown like a rag doll. "It… I know exactly how crazy I sound, but it wasn't Vinnie. Not really. Not anymore."

I smiled, told him a few reassurances, gave him my number, and made an excuse to go. "But… Call me." I told him, offering a small smile. "If you need someone to talk to, and aren't quite certain about telling FBI guy Beyonce," I made a face, one that got him to smile at the audacity of the name. "I'll be here."

"Thanks." He nodded, grateful, and we parted ways.

I called Crowley a little later, giving him all the details. "Vince has a cabin up in Sagamore Hills. According to Tom, all of their greatest records were written there." I could almost see the nod in agreeance. "You want me to meet you guys there? Angel, witch, and demon did well against Amara. Can't be a half-bad shot against Lucifer."

"No." He said the word kindly, almost with hesitance, but that didn't make it any less of a surprise. "Go back to college."

"What?"

"It's been three days." He reminded me. "The water clone can't be holding up well."

"Oh."

Oh.

I'd actually forgotten about all of that. I'd forgotten about Mrs. Tran, about making a duplicate of myself, about college and the money spent on it and…

Oh.

"That is," Crowley conceded. "Unless you don't want to go back, and you'd rather stay with myself and Castiel."

I thought it over in my head for a moment. I could. I easily could. And it wouldn't be any sort of problem for me. That was the problem in itself.

I wanted to go back. To drop everything I'd been working towards for this normal life and run back in to hunting, run back in to the life of the supernatural, just dive headfirst and by God – sorry, by Chuck – I'd actually enjoy it.

I would actually enjoy it.

But I couldn't. Mrs. Tran had helped put forwards a decent amount of money towards college, and it wouldn't be fair to waste it like that. Not in the middle of semester. And to just abandon her in general like that…

I wouldn't be able to let Castiel know it was me, either. Or Sam and Dean, if it came down to it. I couldn't tell anybody. And it wouldn't really be hunting, then.

"No." I said, my voice firm. "You're right. I should go back. But, call if something comes up, alright?"

"Alright. Best of luck."

"Thanks."

And then I hung up. I hung up, and stared at the phone for a while. What in the world would possess me to actually want to be around a demon? And my former fiancé?

On a whim, I headed over to a nearby bathroom. It was empty. I looked in the mirror, and saw what everyone else saw.

The red hair was the same, yes, but darker. More of a dark red than the vibrant fire I'd dyed it. And the eyes… I still wore colored contacts, but my eyes weren't mine. My eyes were a gold-ish color, product of the hazel. These eyes in the mirror, they were a dark and dirty brown, with the eyes themselves seeming much too large for the small nose they were next to, a nose that still wasn't mine.

The mouth wasn't mine, the lips weren't mine, the face wasn't mine… None of it was actually me.

I saw myself as others saw me in the spell, and I hated it.

I dropped it instantly, and felt naked. I hadn't gone out in public for a long time without it. But the me in the mirror, the real me…

That didn't quite look like me either. That one just… She looked older, much older. Closer to her thirties than her early-twenties. Closer to a Winchester than a girl.

"What happened to me?" I asked. Beside me, Karma let out a small whine. "Hey, it's ok." I knelt down, scratching behind what I assumed was one of her ears.

This is what people do with a normal dog, and what did I get?

No, not what did I get. What did I choose to have? What did I get excited about and jump at the opportunity of having? What did I agree to?

A hellhound, that I had named Karma, because I thought it was funny.

What in the hell was wrong with me?

"Come on, girl." I said, placing my hand on what I figured was her forehead. "Aditum." I whispered, focusing on Mrs. Tran's house.

We were in the kitchen in an instant. It was Saturday. No classes. "Mrs. Tran?" I asked, looking around. There was a note on the fridge.

Out for groceries. Be back soon!

I called her, taking a glance outside. No new visible security, but I trusted Crowley. I knew he would've made sure Mrs. Tran was protected.

I trusted Crowley. Crowley, of all people. Hell, not even a full year ago I was willing to put his head on a stake purely out of spite, and now look at me. I wasn't pissed when he pulled me out of class, I was mildly inconvenienced. I decided to help Crowley, continue to help him past what we had agreed to.

What in the hell had happened to me?

"I don't know what to do." I finally admitted, looking over at Karma. Shit, I would have to get her a dog bed. Did they even make dog beds her size? Would she even like it? She'd started at knee level, but I could tell she was already getting a little taller. She'd probably come up to my waist at some point. And she would definitely need some more meat. "What is Mrs. Tran going to say?" I asked her, rubbing behind her ear again. Speaking of her…

I pulled out my phone, and dialed. Voicemail. "Hey, Mrs. Tran! I'm home! Saw you were out for groceries. If there's anything I can do for you before you get back, shoot me a text!"

I sat back on the floor, and watched Karma circle around me a few times before laying her head on my leg. It was a strange weight, semi-corporeal, like a heavy fog was focused on one specific spot. I scratched that spot she liked again, just thinking on my new situation.