This is probably going to be extremely fluffy.

I'm in that mood because I might be a little stoned.

Ha, sorry.

------

I wake up when Spencer crawls out of my bed and heads into the bathroom.

I roll over onto my stomach and when she comes out, she walks over to the bed and straddles my ass. I'm about to complain about it not being the side I want her to straddle until she lifts up my shirt and starts massaging my back.

Sweet Jesus.

"So when are you leaving?" She asks.

"Tomorrow at noon," I reply, trying to steady my heavy breathing.

"And you're officially off-duty right now?"

"Mmhmm," I answer as she traces my other tattoo.

She leans down and whispers in my ear, "so that means you can come to my party tonight?"

Shit, today's Friday...I totally forgot about her party.

She lets me flip over and I place my hands on her hips. "I'd like to..."

"There's a 'but,' huh?"

I slide my thumbs under her shirt to caress her stomach. "I could get in trouble." She looks heartbroken...damnit. "But you know what? There's only five more months on my contract and I don't plan on re-enlisting...so why not, beautiful?"

"Ash, I don't want you to get in trouble," she says, grabbing my hands and threading our fingers together.

"I'm not too concerned, Spence. I won't be on duty. The worst thing that can happen is someone finding out about us," I reply.

"Still, Ash. I mean, I really want you there, but is it really worth the risk?"

I smile. "Yeah, gorgeous. You're always going to be worth the risk."

------

I get in the driver's seat of Spencer's blue Audi A6 sedan and she smiles at me from the passenger seat.

"Thanks for driving. I'm still a little shaken up from...you know," she says shyly.

"No problem, gorgeous," I say, flashing her a bright smile and turning the ignition key. "This is a nice car."

"Thanks, my mom bought it for me. Kind of a 'sorry' for not being a wench all of my life, I think," she responds.

"I'm sorry, Spence," I say, reaching over to take her hand as we coast down the long drive.

"Don't be," she replies. "My mom has always been all about my brother, but my dad has always been there for me when I needed him, even though he's extremely busy these days."

"Maybe that'll change one day," I say, noting the sadness on her face.

"Hopefully," she responds. "You look really nice, by the way."

I went all out tonight. Instead of my usual straight leg jeans and uniform undershirt, I'm wearing a skirt and a black vest with a pink and black bra underneath. I wanted to be sure that Spencer would be all over me.

I know, I'm a terrible person.

"Thank you," I say, squeezing her hand. "You look amazing as usual."

------

A couple hours later I'm standing in the kitchen refilling my cup with jungle juice.

Madison walks in and I hand her the ladle for the giant bowl.

"Girl, Spencer won't shut up about how hot you look," she says. "She usually doesn't drink this much. I think you make her nervous."

Oh.

"Is that bad?" I ask, sipping from my cup.

"Not necessarily. It's just that I've never met anyone that makes her nervous," Madison says, moving to lean against the counter next to me. "She really likes you. She never shuts up about it. I just want you to know that I'm glad she found you."

God, why are my eyes burning? Oh, no, I am not crying. What the fuck. I shift my eyes to the floor and say, "Thank you. I really like her. She's...something incredible."

"Oh, and if you hurt her, you die," Madison says with a smile.

"Gotcha," I reply with a laugh, even though I think she's serious.

I chug the rest of my drink and then grab a Triple Black from the sink, which is currently stocked with all kinds of Queernoff and ice.

Hey, I know Smirnoff is a pussy drink, but have you honestly ever tasted a Triple Black? It's like a mouth orgasm.

Spencer walks into the kitchen and I take my chance to show off. I place the top of the bottle on the underside of my forearm and twist off the cap.

"Whoa," Spencer says evenly. "How did you do that?"

"You can't tell me you've honestly never seen anyone do that," I reply, trying to be smooth.

"I haven't," she says, throwing her cup away and grabbing a Triple Black from the sink. "Teach me how!"

I put my bottle on the counter and take her arm into my hands. I put it in the correct position along with the bottle.

"Okay, so just apply pressure with your arm and twist the bottle," I say, mocking the motions.

She gets it on the first try...that's my girl.

She beams at me and I do it right back. But then she pouts and says, "now my arm is sore."

I take said arm and place a kiss the reddened spot.

"Better?"

"Much," she says. She wraps her arms around my neck and I pull her hips into me. She kisses my neck softly and I sigh. "My room?"

God yes.

"I'm down," I reply, grabbing my drink and following her.

------

I lean back against the headboard and she sits in between my legs and settles her back against my chest.

I lay my head on her shoulder, facing her neck, and say, "you always smell so incredible, you know that?"

So I have a thing for scents.

You would too if every time you climbed into bed, you were surrounded by her scent even if she wasn't there.

"Well, want to know my secret? I shower," she whispers.

She leans her head back on my shoulder as I take a swig from my bottle. As I put it down and from the corner of my eye, I can see she's taking in my profile.

"You're really beautiful, Ash," she breathes.

"Not like you, Spence," I say, looking her in the eye while running my right hand through her hair.

She closes her eyes and then her phone comes to life on the nightstand next to us. I hand it to her and she reads the text.

"We're up in beer pong," she says. She kisses my cheek and stands up.

I stand up and finish my drink. I throw the bottle in the trash and she turns around. All of a sudden she has my face in her hands and her lips pressed to mine.

I moan as we fall back down to the bed. She moves her legs so she's straddling me and I swear I'll never get tired of that.

God, she fucking kisses like fire...if that makes sense.

Her phone beeps again and she pulls away, breathing hard.

"I'm sorry," she says with a blush.

"God, don't be," I breathe out with a smile.

------

"So you know how to play?" Spencer asks, placing a ping pong ball in my hand.

"Are you kidding?" I say as I look her dead in the eye and shoot the ball. I hear the familiar sound of it meeting the inside of a cup.

Her mouth drops as she looks from me to the other side of the table, where the two guys we're playing have worried looks on their faces.

"Seriously," the shorter guy says to the other as he takes the cup from the triangle. "I thought you said playing against girls would be easy."

"I thought it would," the taller one replies.

I look at Spencer and smirk. She kisses me before turning and throwing the ball perfectly. It sinks into the first cup and she throws her arms into the air and sings along with Nelly Furtado's Say It Right.

"Bring 'em back, boys," I say while wrapping an arm around Spencer's waist and pulling her into me.

"God damnit," the taller guy says while they bounce the balls back to us.

I launch the ball and it goes into the center cup. Spencer misses, but I kiss her anyway.

About five minutes later, we only have one cup left to hit and the guys, who I've found out are Ryan and Shep, have only hit three.

Spencer throws first and I watch as it goes in the cup. She throws her arms up in victory again as I make the cup too, finishing the game.

"Okay, from now on, you are always my partner," Spencer says into my ear, trying to be heard over the loud music. "Chelsea doesn't drink beer and Madison is fucking terrible."

"Alright, baby," I say back.

Ah, shit. I said 'baby.' I hope she doesn't think it's too soon for that...

She smiles and pulls me in for a heated kiss. We finally stop when we hear, "god, it's so worth losing as long as we get to see that."

I pull away laughing and our next opponents step up to the table. I look up and see it's Dennison and Madison.

"Aiden? When did you get here?" I ask, walking over to him to give him a hug.

"About five minutes ago," he replies. "Spencer invited me."

"I wanted it to be a surprise," she says from next to me.

"Well, thank you, gorgeous," I say, kissing her on the cheek. "Okay, Dennison, are you ready to be dominated?"

"Bring it on, Davies!" He yells, throwing me two Coors Lights for our side.

I pour the beer into the cups and let Spencer go first. She hits a cup in the second row and I hit the one directly next to it.

"Ah, shit, I totally forgot how good you are at this," Aiden says.

"What's that? I didn't hear you," I reply, cupping my ear with my hand for added effect.

"Oh, shut up, Ash," he laughs.

Once we have the balls back, Spencer misses but I make up for it with a bounce. She bites my neck in appreciation.

Good God.

Madison misses but Aiden hits a bounce while Spencer is working on my neck.

"Damn it, Aiden!" I yell, grabbing two cups.

"How did that feel, Deflector?" He says with faux cockiness.

Usually Aiden and I are partners, and the squad nicknamed me 'the Deflector' because no one can make a bounce against me. I swat that shit without any hesitance. I'm amazing like that.

"Alright, Spence, let's do this," I reply.

I throw the ball and hit the lone first cup. She sinks hers and I kiss her in congratulations.

Jude Law and A Semester Abroad by Brand New suddenly comes through the speakers and Aiden and I lock eyes before busting out in song.

What? This is our jam for our drunken, late-night runs to T-Bell.

Yeah, jam.

Besides, I'm a little schwasted. Just a little.

I mean, I can still see straight.

Spencer and Madison give each other looks before they join in with us. Soon, the entire group of people in the basement is singing along.

Come on, everyone knows and loves Brand New.

I pull Spencer into me as we all dance around with our drinks held high the air. We both look at each other and sing as loud as we can.

It's little moments like this that make me think that I'm in love.

In love with the way she tilts her head, how she breathes when she's asleep, how she brushes her nose along my jaw and pulls away giggling, the way she talks about how corporate the world is, how McMahon, Lacey and Spektor are her favorite song writers, the way she looks at me, and the kisses. God, the kisses.

When the song ends, we all make our way back over to the table laughing.

"Hey, Ash, do you remember the time we went to Burger King when we all fucking hammered?" Aiden says, barely containing his laughter.

"Aiden, don't even start," I warn.

"No, no, Madison, Spencer, listen to this. So one night we're at Kyla's--"

"Dennison!" I warn again.

"Oh, shutith thy mouth, Davies."

That's so my fucking phrase.

"So me, Ash and my little brother Josh had been taking tequila shots all night. Kyla's mostly sober so she offers to drive us to Burger King. So we get there and Ash orders a Whopper Junior with extra pickles. We get the food and we all check our shit while still sitting at the window. Well, apparently, they forgot Ashley's pickles entirely. So she grabs her drink, rolls down the window and knocks on the drive-thru window. When they open it, she screams, 'you forgot my fucking pickles!' and launches her cup at the guy. It hits him directly in the face and explodes," Aiden finishes and everyone's laughing.

I am too, I won't lie. "I was pissed!" I say in my defense.

"So Kyla freaks out and hits the gas. She totally jumps the curb and ends up doing a donut on Burger King's lawn. We're all thinking that we're going to end up in jail but we somehow made it home," Dennison says, trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard.

Spencer is leaning on the table, shaking with laughter. "Okay, I so have to meet your sister."

"You will, babe," I reply.

She smiles at me as if she's telling me when her manner that she wants to know everything about me.

Every story and event that shaped me into the person that's standing in front of her.

Every way to ever feel me.

And she knows I feel the same.

And I've never felt so brilliantly enlightened.

After a quarter-century, I know. I know the love people only talk about. I know the love every song's secretly about. I know what it's like for someone to always be on your mind.

It's like I finally understand.

I'm in love with Spencer Carlin.