Barry suddenly jerked awake two days later, mind racing. The memory still clung to his mind, clouding his thinking. He was also disoriented, having spent his first night in his new studio loft apartment. Breathing deep he lay in his bed, willing his heart and mind back their normal pace. He stretched his senses out, feeling his body relaxing back into the mattress, watching the shadows dance across his ceiling from the lights outside.
He remembered pain as he raced to where Cisco and Caitlin were fighting, forcing himself to run with the wound Caitlin had given him. Wondering why she would wound him only when she had the power to kill him before. It gave him hope that Caitlin was still under the ice, trying to break free. How eerie it was to see his two best friends fighting, the fear in his heart. Frustration as Killer Frost laid down a sheet of ice, forcing him to stumble and slide into her feet. It was what happened next that kept playing over and over in his head.
Caitlin kissed him. It was just a pressing of lips to lips, but it was enough to knock him for a loop. She kissed him, lips chilly, stealing his body heat, breath fluttering against his skin. Oddly though, it sparked a blaze around his heart, lightning quick. A sharp contrast to the numbing cold spreading through the rest of his body, making his head spin. At the time Barry wasn't able to process what had really happened, but now, days later, his mind had caught up with his body.
The kiss had felt oddly right, almost as if they had kissed before. Barry was fairly certain he had never kissed Dr. Snow, in any of the timeliness he traversed. He was sure he would remember kissing a woman as beautiful as Caitlin. Somehow though, the brief touch of their lips shifted everything in Barry. It opened his eyes, making him shed the blinders he'd had regarding Iris. All of the kisses he'd shared with Iris paled in comparison to the one Caitlin had planted on him, and he didn't think it had anything to do with her powers. It was chemistry, electric and more desireable than anything he had ever experienced.
It was like Barry had been struck by lightning again, searing and relentless. Yet right. Familiar. It was like when he had been hit with the replica particle accelerator explosion, familiar and right. So very right. He wanted another taste, a proper taste. He needed to know if what he had felt lying there on the cool pavement had been real or not. Somehow he had a feeling that it wasn't a one time thing.
Oliver's words echoed in his head, about being chosen by the lightning. Then Caitlin's words, echoing what the Green Arrow had told him. It was eerie how they had both said the same things weeks apart. He had never told his doctor what his friend had told him, helping to push him into his decision to become the Flash. Slowly his lips curled into a smile as a plan formed in his mind.
Maybe lightning does strike twice.
Caitlin was in the lab early, working on an analysis of her cells. She needed to find a way to harness and control her powers without Killer Frost taking over her mind. A way to tap her cryokinetic powers without risking her mind. Just like Cisco and Wally were developing their powers, Caitlin need to as well. She just needed more research and precautions, more indirect ways to go about using her gifts. Blinking back tiredness she stood to fill her mug with coffee when a large steaming cup of chi latte from CC Jitters appeared on her desk.
"Morning Barry." She said before turning, noting the haunted, intense look look in his eyes. Her heart thumped. Tilting her head curiously, she took a half step back.
"Is everything ok?" Her hands immediately covered her power dampening cuffs, making sure they were still there. She wasn't ready to be a part of the field team yet, preferring to stay behind and monitor things from the safety of the lab.
"I'm not sure." He sat and motioned her to do the same, turning their chairs to face each other. Caitlin biting her lip she sat on the edge of her chair, concerned for her friend and patient.
"Did something happen?" She prompted, mind spinning with all sorts of things that could be wrong. She was running over the list of recent injuries he had suffered when he shifted forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His eyes were shadowed and his chin was covered in stubble, as if he decided he didn't need to shave this morning.
"Do you remember kissing me as Killer Frost?"
Of all the things to come out of his mouth, that was not what she was expecting. She did remember, body clenching deep as the memory surfaced. Greedily stealing his heat and life even as she caressed his soft lips, part of her begging for more while fighting to let go before she killed him. A bonfire had raged in her during those few moments, making her feel almost human. It harkened her back to the kiss Hannibal Bates had pressed her into, under the guise of Barry. It was one of her most cherished and hated memories. It made her realize how alone she was, and how she had let the warm speedster into her heart. At the time, she didn't know he was a fake and had let her heart melt, kissing him back with a growing passion.
"Yes." She admitted slowly, not sure where he was going with this. Her heart was racing, afraid and excited at the same time. A small part of her prayed for another kiss, for a new dynamic. The larger, realistic part of her knew nothing would happen. She felt her already fragile control beginning to splinter. She clenched her fists and began to force her breathing to slow down.
"I have a strange feeling that it wasn't our first kiss." Barry ran his hand through his hair distractedly, eyes digging into hers. "Why is that? I don't recall ever kissing you before."
Caitlin suddenly couldn't breathe, her world crashing around her. Shock ran through her system. Why would he even think that? It wasn't like she had truly kissed him as Killer Frost, not in the way she had dreamed of doing for years. Everything would change now, ruined by her powers and weakness. Unable to sit still she shoved her chair back and moved to walk away, to control her emotions. She barely got two steps away before Barry was in front of her, blocking her escape. She knew she had to tell him, but she couldn't look at him as she did so.
"When we fought Hannibal Bates, he came here. As you." Caitlin was half turned away from him, gazing at a middle ground, unseeing as she remembered the past. Reliving the spark of desire she had felt in her heart, the hope that they could be more. The pain and humiliation when it was brought to light that Barry hadn't been the one to want her. He wouldn't know the taste of her kiss. She would never know if he tasted like Hannibal had, or if he tasted better.
"He told me, as you, that he should have done something a long time ago. Then you - he kissed me."
"What?" Barry said softly, frozen in place. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
'Time to come clean Caitlin.' She shrugged, feeling her heart shatter slowly. Blinking back tears she whispered,
"There was no point. You are in love with Iris. I'm just your doctor."
Barry was stunned. The shapeshifter had kissed Caitlin? There was a quick spark of jealousy deep in his belly, shocking him. He knew something had happened between Bates and Caitlin, but when she brushed him off he thought it hadn't been anything major. He knew she would have told him if it had been something severe enough to warrant retaliation. Now he finds out, over two years later, that the shape shifting meta had taken advantage of his best friend.
'I thought Iris was my best friend.' Barry puzzled, realizing ever since he had become the Flash, Caitlin had slowly begun to take Iris's place as the one person he could count on no matter what. It was a natural progression, one he had taken for granted.
"You're also my friend." Barry replied, reaching out to touch her shoulder. His heart stuttered when she shied away from him, taking a step away. Had Hannibal hurt her that bad? "You know I'd never hurt you."
"Not intentionally, no." Caitlin shook her head, the smile on her lips brittle. She moved back to her work station, refusing to stay in one place. Again he reached for her, but when her eyes flashed blue, Barry backed off.
"Is that why Killer Frost kissed me? To get back at me for something I didn't do?"
"No Barry. She - I - we kissed you because you're you." The woman shrugged. Something in Barry's chest clenched. She had kissed him if her own free will.
"I don't understand." He really didn't, but something inside him was screaming that he needed to.
"When Bates kissed me it made me want something I knew I wasn't meant to have, so I buried it under work and over time I managed to 'forget'." Barry knew he must look like a statue standing there, watching Caitlin pace back and forth, hands fiddling with the lightning blue cuffs on her wrists. His head was buzzing, unable to believe what he was hearing.
"What?" Something was crawling under Barry's skin, uncertainty and excitement. A thought began to form in the back of his mind, a curiosity. Caitlin turned to look at him, half a room away. An urge began to gnaw at him, twisting his stomach. He longed to take the haunted pain out of the doe soft eyes of the woman across the room from him.
"Please don't make me say it." She pleaded. "Nothing can come of it."
As Caitlin turned to leave a fear gripped Barry, making him move. Before he could even register what was happening Barry had her pressed against the main console in the room, arms caging her, mouth plundering hers passionately.
Oh. My. God.
Caitlin tasted like heaven, warm and soft, hesitant. Her lips had opened without fuss, letting him into her cavern. He was drowning in her taste, dark and creamy from the coffee that she liked to drink in the morning. The crawling under his skin turned into a raging hunger, a beast that had been unleashed. He didn't know how he was going to control it, or if he even wanted to control it. All Barry knew was he would never be able to get enough of Caitlin Snow. Her taste and body was imprinted on him in a way he never would have imagined. Restlessly his arms snaked around her waist, afraid to let her go. A soft moan in the back of her throat nearly shattered him, feeling her begin to return his kiss.
Just as Barry felt Caitlin surrendering to him, she stiffened and pulled back, face flushed and close to his.
"What about Iris?"
Caitlin was shaking, all her walls destroyed by a hungry, earnest kiss from the man she'd secretly loved for years. His eyes were dark and hooded, lips red and moist, making her insides melt. She felt her body becoming weak, begging to be loved and supported by the strong man holding her. Her heart was hammering, her head was spinning in fear and excitement. Barry shouldn't have kissed her, she shouldn't have let him. He had tasted of cinnamon and mint, fresh and sweetly delicious with a chaser of warmth that was all Barry. There was no turning back now.
"Things have been changing between Iris and I for a while now, I just didn't know why." Barry shook his head in confusion. "I'd felt myself growing distant from her, from all of you really. Flashpoint has really done a number on me, making me see things I had been blind to in the past."
Caitlin shifted to move out of Barry's grasp, but was shocked when she felt his arms tighten around her waist. He pulled her close, their bodies pressed tight. His big hands spanned her back, fingers curled into her possessively, locking her in his embrace. He stepped closer, invading her space. She was leaning against the console heavily, Barry forcing her to shift her legs apart as far as she was able in her pencil skirt, his thighs between her knees.
"I'm not letting you go Cait, not ever."
A thrill raced down her spine at Barry's words and tone, watching the lightning race across his eyes. She had only ever seen the phenomenon whenever Barry was angry or extremely focused. Watching it happen because of her made Caitlin feel excited and unsettled at the same time. Closing her eyes she tried to ground herself, to pull her thoughts and emotions into check. Only now she could feel her body reacting to Barry. She could feel her breasts tightening and her core beginning to pulse sluggishly.
"You can't promise that Barry." She shook her head, forcing her body to relax. As always she put other people before herself, even if it was like a knife to the stomach. "You can't do that to Iris."
"Caitlin." Barry pressed his forehead to hers, nose brushing hers. "Look at me."
Cracking her eyes open she gulped. Barry's own rich green eyes were just inches from hers, and she could see he had flecks of brown in them. His eyelashes were long and dark, framing his eyes beautifully. She could read a determined hunger in them, directed at her. She could feel his breath caressing her skin, making her shiver. Her head refused to stop spinning, heart continuing to thump frantically.
"I know this is sudden." Barry breathed a quiet chuckle, shifting to snuggle closer to her.
"If there is one thing I've learned with being the Flash is you have to follow your instincts. They are all pointing to you. They have almost since the beginning, I just chose to ignore them. To cling to what was comfortable."
He pressed a soft kiss to her lips before pulling back, eyes searching her face, body warm and hard against her. She felt his heart racing under her palm, feeling a tiny tremor shaking him. His Speed Force was making itself known, not happy at being held in check in the face of such strong emotions. In the back of her mind she wondered if when it came time, he would vibrate when he made love.
"You've been there the whole time. Believing in me, comforting me, patching me up. Everything we've been through was showing me that you were closer to me than the woman I had grown up with. It just took you turning into Killer Frost for me to see it."
"You have to tell Iris." Caitlin pressed, desperate to have the situation resolved.
"You are better than her. I remember you telling me that while I had been kidnapped by Zoon she tried to distract you, bringing up her feelings. You may not realize it, but I could hear the hurt and confusion in your voice. Don't be like her. Tell her."
"I will." Barry pressed another kiss to her lips, making her melt. Slowly the world disappeared, if only for a time.
