We drove in silence for maybe an hour before he finally pulled over on the side of the road. "Look, Castiel," I started, prepared to deliver another sassy quip. He cut me off before I could.

"You have angelic grace inside of you." He stated, staring forwards. "A small portion, constantly regenerating itself. You'll have it until you die."

"That's cool." I kept my voice level.

"Nephilim don't have angelic grace within them." Castiel said. He was still staring straight ahead. He hadn't looked over at me yet. "Not like that. But what's more interesting than that, is that the grace isn't just any random angel's."

"I don't follow, feathers." I said. The doors locked, suddenly, and I felt steel grip on my wrist. Karma growled behind us. "Castiel," I said slowly, watching him turn to stare at me.

"How and why do you have a small, continually regenerating portion of my grace inside you?" He asked, enunciating every word clearly.

"What?" I asked, feigning ignorance. My voice quavered a little with it, though. I was scared. I really was. I couldn't leave, because if I tried to disappear Castiel would just come with me. And if I did anything to hurt Cas…

It didn't matter how much he'd hurt me. I still cared for him too much. I didn't want to hurt him.

"I think you understood me quite well." Castiel sounded so… So distrusting. So hateful. I didn't have a good lie right off the top of my head. I hadn't prepared for this.

"Castiel," I had to stall somehow. "Are you going to hurt me?"

"I want you to answer the question."

"I'd like to hold this conversation civilly, though."

"You have a part of my grace inside of you." He answered. "And it's not recent. It's been in there for quite some time. How did you get it?"

"Look, I hid out in a library a while back, OK?" I had a lie, now. A good one. "I was running from Hunters that were trying to kill me. There was a weird power radiating in one of the books, and I opened it. There was a tiny vial in it with some glowing stuff, and I drank a little bit. It made me feel weird as hell so I put it back and ran. Puked for a few days, then felt great." I gave a bit of a pause, as if I was thinking about something. "Was that… Was that angel grace?"

"I can't tell if you're lying." He said. "You have your mind guarded."

"It's a good habit." I stated. "You don't believe me?"

"I don't know." He answered, watching me closely. I glanced over to see Karma's hackles raised, glowering at the angel as she prepared to break the window.

"Well, I would highly suggest letting go of me now," I warned. "Because my dog doesn't like me being manhandled like this." Castiel hesitated maybe a few more seconds before releasing me, still staring me down. I rubbed my wrist appreciatively. There was a small bruise where he had gripped me.

Castiel glanced at the bruise for a moment, and I saw something flash in front of his eyes before he turned away to start the car. "You should go." He said quietly. I put two fingers to my wrist, and the bruise was gone instantly.

"I'm fine." I said.

"You should go." He repeated, his voice just a little louder and firmer.

"I know."

"NOW!" He slammed the steering wheel, and Karma barked loudly, scratching at the window behind us.

I disappeared, staying invisible as I moved to sit in the bed of the truck with Karma. She calmed down when I pet her, and hopped out to sit next to the vehicle.

I watched Castiel as he glanced over to where I'd been, staring for a second before slamming his hands on the steering wheel once more. I flinched at the action. I'd never seen such anger in him before, not like this. I'd seen him tired and torn and happy and overjoyed and uncertain and angry and vengeful and just so many other emotions, but I'd never seen this; I'd never seen him feel the urge to physically act out the rage within him.

It hurt for a moment, to see him do that.

He didn't say a word, though. He didn't swear or scream or shout obscenities. He just grasped the wheel tightly where he'd hit it, and I saw small indents begin to form.

After that, I left, taking Karma with me. Crowley sat at the table, surprised to see me there.

"I assume the ride with feathers didn't go too well?" He asked.

"He recognized the grace inside of me." I stated. "And recognized it as his. It..." I bit back the last remnants of fear within me, steeling myself to accept my reality. "It didn't go well."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I'd found where it had been stashed at before he did, and taken a small amount."

"Do you think he believed it?"

"I don't know." I thought for a moment. "Crowley, I think I should leave."

"Didn't you do that already?"

"No, I mean leave all of this." I said. "I thought it would be better if they didn't remember me being alive, and they do remember me with what I'm certain are good thoughts, but other than that…" I shook my head. "It doesn't matter who I am, to them. Not anymore. I'm a witch. I can't be trusted. Not to them."

"So you just want to run away?"

"I'm not running away." I defended. "After Lucifer is dealt with, I think it would be best." I nodded along with the thought. "They don't want me here. There's no guarantee that Sam or Dean won't try to kill me afterwards. I know that they're trying to get information on me." I stared at Crowley pointedly. "What did they ask you?"

"Nothing I wasn't already expecting." He said. "Your story. Why you were here. Other miscellaneous questions." He shrugged. "I gave them the normal answers, but honestly I'm starting to become tired of this whole charade."

"You saw how they reacted." I reminded him, my voice raising slightly in pitch. "And Castiel almost snapped at me in the car. He bruised my wrist!" There came that fear again, the fear that I had screwed myself over at every angle, the fear that my choices would cause me to never be safe again, to never trust others again. The fear that Kylie Dillinger truly was dead, that I had killed her and hadn't even known it until she was a rotted corpse. "I just... I thought I could do this, I thought I wanted this, but I can't. I was wrong and I can't and if I stay it won't stop getting worse."

"Kylie," Crowley kept his voice even. "I think you're becoming a tad bit paranoid."

"No, I'm not!" I argued. "I'm being cautious! Caution kept me alive when you were hunting me. It'll keep me alive now, too."

"Kylie," his tone was just a little more commanding, now, but I didn't care. I was on a fucking roll.

"Crowley, my life has gone to shit ever since Lucifer was put in fucking play." I said. "So I'm going to see it through, having him gone. After that," I shrugged. "I don't know! I'll go back to hiding. Get another construction job or be a sideshow magician or something."

"You'll go back to being homeless." Crowley summed up.

"If that's what it takes!"

Crowley gave me a knowing look as I realized what I'd just said. I'd just said I would go back to being homeless; that I would rather run and hide and disappear from all of this versus… Versus having my life back.

But how in the hell could I get it back? I'm so far, now, from who I was… I don't even think I could see the former me in the rearview mirror, much less figure out how to get to her.

"You're paranoid." Crowley repeated.

"I'm just cautious." I argued again. Crowley let out a sigh.

"I should just tell them myself, get this whole drama over with." He pointed out, standing up. I shook my head.

"They actually will kill me if you do." I said. "Or it'll them apart."

"They won't kill you!"

"How can you be so certain?"

"Because they wouldn't be able to kill you!" He shouted. "Not if they knew it was you."

"They were considering it last time." I reminded him. "You saw Sam's face. He blamed me. He would've killed me if he remembered, purely out of grief and anger."

"I don't know what has gotten in to you," he said. "But ever since the fight with Amara, you've changed."

"I'm different no matter what!"

"No, this is different." He parroted my words. "You've almost willfully chosen to take on Cain's path."

"Yeah, well, maybe he didn't have a bad idea." I argued. "Maybe being alone is better. It keeps more people safe if they're far away from me.'

I stalked off in to my room to change. "Where are you going?" Crowley asked.

"Food." I said, emerging a few minutes later in my normal attire…

Attire that had been worn by God's sister.

Oh yeah, I was so far from normal now.

"For me and Karma." I added. At the sound of her name, she appeared beside me, wagging her tail as she rubbed her head against my thigh. "And a chance to just try and clear my head away from all of this."

"I don't think that's a smart choice." Crowley cautioned.

"Yeah, well, I'm doing it anyways." I retorted, my voice just slightly biting. God, I sounded like a petulant teenager, and I knew it. At the same time, I wasn't certain exactly what else to say.

"I don't think you should." Crowley repeated. This time his voice was different, almost as if he was threatening me.

"What are you hinting at, Crowley?"

"I'm saying that you're going to sit down, stop being so irrational," he added. "And listen to some sense instead of your own paranoia."

"Are you going to try and force me, Crowley?"

"If I must, then yes."

I watched him, looking for the slightest indicator that he was bluffing. There was none, there never was. I scoffed anyways.

"Good luck trying." I shot back, walking towards the door. A second later, the door slammed shut. I laughed. "Really? You think a door can stop me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

I found myself against the nearest wall a second later, with Karma alongside me. Crowley shook his head, looking more than a little disappointed.

"You forget who trained you." He said. "I know everything you can do."

"Let me down now." I ordered, my voice taught.

"Or what?"

"Or this."

I acted fast, focusing a quick brute force push against Crowley. He went sailing himself, in to curtains that burst in to flames once he was entangled in them. He lost his hold on me, focusing now on batting out the flames.

"I'm sorry." I said quickly.

I was gone a second later, Karma whimpering quietly beside me. We were in a park, although where I wasn't entirely certain.

I knelt down, checking to make sure she was OK. No injuries, nothing wrong, just a bit of pain from getting put on a wall. "It's OK, Karma." I said, scratching behind her ear. "We're safe. I'll protect you. You're OK."

I heard my phone ring, but didn't answer it. Instead, I rooted around in my pockets. I was warded against everything, including demons, but Crowley tended to be resourceful. I needed to make sure he didn't have anything on me for tracking.

There.

Front left pocket of my pants. I could feel a small amount of power pulsating from the coin. I let it melt in my hand, and looked around for anything else. The one of the buttons of my jacket had the same signature on it. I thought for a second before finding a nearby person.

They had a new jacket button in their pocket now.

That was the last one. Crowley couldn't find me as easily now.

"Alright, girl…" I looked around, thinking. "Let's figure out where in the hell we are."