Hello all. So i've been writing a lot but haven't had a ton of time to edit. I'm trying. I really have so many idea that's I'm trying to get down before i hit the wall.

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Chapter 4 – *Collide

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

The light filtered in though the blinds and she wished, once again that she was at home. It's been three days since she'd had an emergency C-section. 3 Days since she'd been side swiped by the damn drunk driver on her way home from Jess's. It had only been three days!

It felt like more since she'd been waving goodbye to Jess and his wife Cassidy after a dinner with them. She felt her sore and now flatter stomach where her son had been only 3 short days ago. She felt empty.

She felt a presence beside her and looked to see her mom asleep in the chair next to the bed. Nothing could have made her feel more comforted. Through it all, her mom was her constant, her north star, that loved and supported her even during her mistakes and she hoped one day she would be able to be even half the mom Lorelei had been to her. She wiped away the water seeping from her already strained tear ducts. She wanted to hold him, to kiss him, hell to feed him even, but the procedure had been dangerous and he was only 28 weeks old. It was the machines that would have to help him breath and feed him for the time being.

She caught the shadow of Luke before he was even in the doorway. He smiled down at her and she forced a slight upturn of her lips. He truly had always been a father to her. Which had always amazed her because she had Christopher but given a choice he had taken a back seat and yet here was a man that wasn't blood related, hell he hadn't even been related by marriage when he'd decided to step up for her, taking her to her first father daughter dance. She would always love him.

"She's still asleep huh?" he nodded towards her mother.

"Yeah, I didn't want to wake her."

"Then I guess this is for you." He said as he handed her the small coffee cup. "How you feeling kid?"

She moved gingerly with her now broken left arm and bruised ribs and body. She hurt.

He moved towards the empty chair, out of the open doorway. In her peripheral Rory saw the shimmer of blonde hair she'd glances several times over the past few days. Nothing big, probably just some new Dad visiting his kid, but it always made her think of Logan. Which was a bad idea on so many levels right now, let alone that they might lose a son he doesn't even know he has and it's all her fault.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

"Rory, how are you feeling today my girl?" Dr. Collins asks as he enters the room waking up the still sleeping Lorelei.

"BAD Paul Anka." Lorelei says startled as she wakes up. No one pays attention to her.

"Sore, but how's Richard?" Rory asks more worried about her son then herself.

"Dr. Gellar will be here shortly to fill you in on all of that. I'm here for you Rory. You won't be able to be there for him if you're not healthy, so lets work on that for a minute ok?"

Rory knows he's right. Right now she can barely even touch him let alone attempt to hold him with her broken arm and hurt ribs but it feels like a piece of her is missing. She sighs, "I'm sore, but alive. You tell me how I'm doing?"

He looks at her chart, "All your oxygen levels have stabilized so I think for now we are done with the oxygen. You blood platelets are also normal but there is still some infection from the accident that is hanging on like a tough little bugger. So we need to amp up your antibiotics and clear that from your system before you'll be able to visit you son." He sees the tears welling up in her eyes, "I'm sorry Rory. I know it's hard to hear, but we all want what's best for the both of you." He says.

"Alex you don't have to coddle her. I want what's best for the baby as does she, so really it's not a matter what's good for her, but for him and that in turn is what's good for her." Paris Gellar walks into the room like the living breathing tornado that she is.

"Lorelei, Luke, Rory." She acknowledges all business. "I was just with Richard and I'm pleased to tell you his heart is stronger today then it was yesterday, but we still need to watch closely at this early a date. He is not breathing on his own yet, but I can see the fighter in his eyes, he is a Gilmore after all."

"Huntzberger." Rory corrects.

"Excuse us please Dr. Collins." Paris says in an effort to get rid of the other doctor. He leaves and Paris goes into full Paris mode. "Rory are you really sure you want to give him that damn frat boys last name. I mean are you even sure he's his, there was a storm trooper incident in there if I'm correct."

"Wookie," Lorelei corrects. Luke looks around lost about the current conversation.

"Excuse me?" Paris directs at Lorelei. To this day Lorelei cant' figure out how her and Rory are friends, that girl scares the shit out her.

"It was a Wookie not a storm trooper." She correct

"Whatever it was it was, it wasn't a Huntzberger." Paris says flatly.

"Paris," Rory jumps in to stop the conversation. "He's Logan's. The umm, Wookie, was way too far out of the timeline to even be a possibility."

"So you're sure it's Logan's?"

"Yes, Paris."

Paris turns her attention back to Lorelei who involuntarily flinches, "I never liked that toe headed, trust fund, brat. Why did you ever allow that to happen?"

Lorelei stammers. It should be an easy answer, Rory was an adult, and made her own decisions but damn Gellar and her terror eyes. How she was such a successful Pediatric surgeon AND owned her own surrogacy company with that horrible bedside manner stunned Lorelei.

"Paris!" Rory says more forcefully. "All I want to talk about right now is Richard."

"Sorry," Paris recomposes herself. "Mostly what we need to be concerned with is the development of his lungs so he can breathe on his own. I won't let anything happen to him. So sleep, take your meds, and get yourself well so you can go see that beautiful little boy. I'll update you in a bit, I have rounds."

She leaves in the same Tasmanian devil whirlwind that she blew in on. Paris had always wanted to be a doctor, but Rory is fairly certain that it was her love of Grey's Anatomy and her desire to find her own Arizona Robbins that led to Pediatric Surgery.

Yes, Paris Gellar is gay. Rory had long ago surmised that might be a possibility for her best friend but it was only in the last 5 years or so that Paris had finally told Rory her most well kept secret because she knew she could trust her. That and Rory had accidentally walked in on Paris and her then girlfriend Amanda on accident one night. Rory was glad to finally know why Paris and Doyle hadn't lasted.

Paris may be, Paris, there really was no other way to describe her, but she had always been there for Rory and was truly one her best friends, or more accurately, recently her only best friend. Lane was still there, but there lives were so vastly different at this point it was hard to be a close as they had once been. She had hoped that maybe having this baby would bring them back together but somewhere along the way they had become almost completely different people and a part of Rory was scared that they had changed too much.

Now though, she has more hope. Lane and Zack had taken turns staying at the hospital for the last three days. They had talked a little, when Rory wasn't sleeping and she began to think that maybe she had created the distance. After losing Logan, it was easier to not talk about how bad she hurt, throw herself into work and become someone else, and then when they had found each other again, she couldn't imagine telling Lane she was the other woman, and by the time her heart was shattered all over again, she wasn't someone she even recognized in Lane's eyes.

"He got promoted AGAIN." Lane looked completely distraught as she walked in the room.

"Noo" Rory sympathized, amused that her oldest friend arrived just as she was thinking about her.

"I'm so sorry." Lorelei said as she and Luke left the girls alone.

"Right?!" Lane flopped down in the chair opposite Rory. "How's Richie?"

"Paris says he's going to be ok. I don't know."

"He'll be fine. I know it. Zack went to see him and says he's all fingers. Says' he bets Richie's gonna be a guitarist."

Rory laughed at her friends. It was nice to feel like she had friends again. These last few days she'd been called by Lucy and Olivia, and visited by Lane and Zack, and Sookie and Jackson, and almost all of Stars Hallow, but part of her wanted to see someone else. Finn, Colin, Robert and of course Logan.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

*Lyrics are Collide by Howie Day