Crowley called. Castiel called. Crowley even texted. Castiel tried to text, but it was stilted and awkward-sounding, like bad poetry.

I ignored them for a while. Got a hell of a lot of meat from the butchers for Karma (she's can really pack away the meat without putting on the pounds. I was envious), and… I don't know.

I was still terrified to go back, but I had to go back. After all, my phone went off. I had a hit on Lucifer, and it was a big one.

Holy shit was it big.

I was about to show up back at the Bunker, when my phone rang one last time. Crowley. Again.

I answered it before it could ring a second time. "Crowley, I know who Lucifer's next vessel is."

"So do I."

"Jefferson Rooney." We both said simultaneously. I made a face.

"Wait, how do you know?" I asked.

"I have multiple inside sources at the Hill." That was concerning. I paused, and I knew Crowley could sense it. "It's politics, Diana. What did you expect? And furthermore, how did you know?"

"Death at the White House." I answered. "And someone leaked info about a cross being burnt in to the President's hand momentarily."

"You've got to love stalker media." Crowley commented, shaking his head. "Alright. I'll go tell moose and squirrel. What's your plan?"

"You…" I thought. "You're not ordering me back?"

"I saw how well that attempt went." He answered. "I try not to make the same moronic mistakes twice."

His voice sounded different though. Disappointed, like he was just… I wasn't certain. Like he was giving up on something.

"Do… Do you guys want me back?"

"Do you want to be back?"

"I don't know." That much was true.

"Well, I'll be gone for a while talking to Winchester Wonder-Twins," Crowley said. "So it's your choice on whether you want to be alone with Castiel again or not."

"What do…" I stopped myself. I was about to ask what he would suggest. Hadn't I just lit curtains on fire for the same thing?

"I'm not telling you what choices to make anymore." He said. "Or what I think of your choices. I'm done with all of that."

"Crowley," I didn't even know what I was going to say.

"You can make your own decisions, whether you want to be alone or not." Crowley said. His words cut deep, like a knife. "You're an adult, you've already made a lot of decisions, and I'm done with trying to change them. It's all your choice now, Diana."

"Wait, hold on," I tried to say… Hell, I don't know what I was trying to say, but I didn't get a chance. The line went dead. Crowley had hung up. I stared at my cell, not certain as to what to do.

But I made my choice, and went to the cabin. I had nowhere else to go, after all. I couldn't go see Mrs. Tran, I had to keep her out of all of this.

When I arrived, Castiel was sitting down at the table, going between looking at a laptop and writing down some things.

"Hey." I said softly, keeping my distance. Castiel looked up immediately, and stood.

"Diana." He said the name a little rushed. "I… You are alright?"

"Yeah." I nodded with it, fighting the urge to rub my wrist slightly. "No damages on me."

"That's not what I meant." He said. "Are you… Are you alright?" Was I OK with him, that was the question. Was I alright with being there, in the same room as him. Was I alright?

"Yes and no." I answered honestly. "But… I'm alright with you."

"Thank you."

"No problem." I glanced over at his notes. "What're you working on? We already know who Lucifer has now."

"I know." Castiel said. "I'm actually doing something else, to try and… mitigate my 'mood swings,' as Crowley calls them."

"Oh?" I moved just a little closer, keeping my eyes on the notes. "Mind if I ask what it is?"

"I… I searched your name." He explained. "And I'm trying to write down the differences between you and… Kylie." He took a small breath before saying my name. "That way I can try and stop looking for her whenever I interact with you."

"Oh." I really was a different person, now. I didn't know there was anything inside of me left to break, but there it was, something new that just shattered in to a million and three pieces.

Castiel took the oh as a good thing, though. "Would you like to see?" Before I could answer, he grabbed the list and brought it over to me. For a moment, I was reminded of when he was human, doing random little things here and there to try and help us get along better, like the tea or the card or so many other countless thoughts.

This time, though, as I read the list, each word felt like I was being stabbed with another witchbag.

Kylie –

1. Blonde

2. Not a witch

3. Did not go to college

4. Was homeless

5. Died twice

6. Gold eyes

7. Hated skirts

Diana –

1. Red hair

2. Witch

3. Attending college

4. Not homeless (maybe?)

5. Not dead

6. Brown eyes

7. Wears skirts

"That's a…" I thought for a moment, trying my best to not hate the paper in front of me. "How did you know I was going to college?"

"You brought it up when we first met." He answered. I thought back on that. He was right, I had.

"Ah." I thought on that. "So… Is the list helping?"

"I believe it is, yes." He answered. "I can remember these things, so that I can see you as a completely independent person instead of… staying stuck in the past."

He was trying to move on. Good. He… He deserved better. I was nothing more than a coward, now. Someone who was too scared to tell the truth, too scared of what might happen if I did. Castiel deserved better, deserved a normal girl who wasn't afraid like I was, who wasn't a witch that his best friends would hate, who was just…

Just someone who he could love, instead of someone he wasn't certain about wanting around anymore.

"Good for you, Castiel." I said, nodding as I bit back tears. "I'm glad that… That you're figuring things out."

"And I'm sorry for how I reacted towards you." He kept talking, his voice returning to a more natural state as he went. "I'm sorry that I kept wanting you to be her. I promise, from here onwards I will do everything I can to accept the fact that… That Kylie is dead," he took a second to breath. "And that you are not Kylie. You're Diana." I could almost hear a little smile in his voice.

"Sounds good." I lied, putting down the list. I think I would've preferred a witchbag at that point.

I went to acquire my own laptop, briefing myself on everything I there was to know about President Rooney. Habits, hobbies, tendencies in making decisions, I ran them all through an algorithm set to find changes in his habits and behaviors, with past choices and information being the parameters of normalcy.

Some days, I really wished I could thank Danny for everything she taught me about computers, and everything she had left behind on this laptop for me to learn.

But I had it all set up, so we could track his movements. He had a fundraising tour going on. That was definitely good news.

Crowley called Castiel shortly afterwards, summoning us both to the Bunker. We drove. It wasn't too long. Karma rode in the back.

When "Believe it or Not" came on the radio, neither of us sang along.

Once we got to the Bunker, though, it was straight to business, with Dean and Sam offering me the usual unwelcoming glares as I walked in.

"Nice secret hideout." I commented, looking around. I hadn't been in the Bunker in a while. "I bet it comes equipped with it's own torture dungeon too, huh?" That one got me no response, just more glares. "Ah. Fine. To work. Jefferson Rooney," I pulled up the composite I had made on him on my laptop, and took a seat at the B.A.M.T., floating my jacket off of my body and on to the back of my chair. "President of the USA, currently on a tour of the Midwest to gain some funding, heavily guarded no matter what, and current vessel to the one and only Lucifer, son of God, Devil with his own religion." I glanced up at everyone. Castiel took a seat next to me, Sam was off in a corner making a call, Dean was glaring with his arms crossed, and Crowley sat a decent distance away from me, still looking quite tired. "What's the plan?"

"The plan is to not have you in it anymore." Crowley said. I stared at him, stunned. "Rowena has agreed to help as long as we have a guaranteed way of having Lucifer back in the cage."

"What?"

"You're out." He said, looking away. "And actually, you can go now, if you please."

"He had me with a witchcatcher for days." I said, gritting my teeth. "I had to have a witchbag in my damn pocket the entire time. I'm surprised I didn't die from all of that. I've got a pretty damn good reason to be here, and you're telling me to leave?"

"Yes." He said, making a shooing motion with his hand. "Off you go."

"You need me." I stated. I could feel Karma's presence outside. She knew I wasn't happy, and she keened quietly at the door. "And what happened to not telling me what to do?"

"She may have a point." Castiel said. "Even if Crowley does bring in Rowena, an inherent problem remains. Lucifer can't be returned to the cage inside his vessel." I nodded as Sam rejoined us with his own laptop, sitting down between Crowley and Castiel. "His essence has to be extracted."

"We tried." I added, glaring at Crowley. "Didn't want to involve your mother then, but now you do?"

"Let's focus on the main problem here." Sam said, trying his best to bring us back to focus. "Lucifer has found the perfect safe house. I mean, how do we even start getting close to the President?"

"Well, it helps that he's not in D.C." Dean added, motioning to me. "Do you know where he is now?"

He was still glaring, but he was also including me, which was a bit of a shock. I nodded. "Indianapolis. He's staying at a place owned by Ron Forester."

"He's a hedge fund zillionaire." Sam added. "And the whole party is there. Aides, Secret Service, the whole circus, as well as Rooney."

"It's right outside Indianapolis." I concluded as Sam pulled up pictures of the place. "Completely surrounded by state-of-the-art security, private security, secret service, military escorts," I shrugged. "The whole circus on some seriously maxed out steroid abuse."

"What's our Plan B?" Sam asked. Dean thought for a moment.

"He's got a hell of a speaking schedule." He said. I pulled it up as he continued. "He's averaging three events a day, and he's got a gala dinner on Friday night."

"Well, at least he'll be outside of the mansion." Castiel offered optimistically.

"Yeah, guarded like the Hope Diamond." Sam scoffed. "Plan C?"

They turned to look at Crowley. "What?" The demon asked. "Just because my name starts with a C, that automatically means that I have to provide Plan C?" When nobody answered, he let out a sigh. "Well, you all already know my intent, and I'm surprised you haven't agreed yet."

"I'm not leaving until this business is finished."

"Your part is finished in it." He said, standing. He straightened his jacket for a moment. "Now I am going to fetch mother. Your only part left in this is planning, if at all. I want you gone when I return."

And then he disappeared, no room left for questions.

"I hate him." I muttered. "First he brings me in, and now he wants me gone?" I looked over at the brothers. "Who does that?!" Neither brother answered. Both of them were looking at me with a mix of tension and apprehension. Dean's hand drifted from the crossed arms position to what I knew was a gun in his back pocket. "You're not serious, are you?" I asked him. "NOW you're going to shoot me? Really?"

"Ah… Diana…" Castiel's voice was a forced calm beside me. "The books behind you are floating and giving off an electrical charge between them."

I glanced behind me, and saw what he was saying to be true. I hadn't even… I hadn't…

That hadn't happened before, magic going off on it's own, much less like that.

"Sorry." I mumbled, stopping it quickly. Dean's hand moved away from the gun, back to the crossed position. "So when do we leave?"

"You're not coming with us." Dean said, his voice calm. "Crowley was right. You don't need to be involved anymore."

"What?" I asked, for the second time in maybe less than a half hour. "You can't be serious, right?"

"Very." He said.

"And what's to stop me from going after him on my own again?" I offered. "He doesn't have the witchcatcher anymore. He can't stop me this time."

"Well, shooting you is still an option." Dean offered. I bristled at that, and felt Karma bark outside. The noise of it vibrated throughout the building for a moment.

"Or not." Sam quickly offered, standing up as he closed his laptop. "You know, it's late. We're all tired. Let's say that we get some sleep and reconvene tomorrow, probably leave then too."

"Wait." Castiel interrupted. "Where will Diana go?"

I could see that that had been the Winchester's idea. Once I was out, they could lock the door and I couldn't get back in. They could leave whenever they pleased, and didn't have to have me around at all. Hell, they could probably even make some witchbags or something to keep me away.

And either Castiel hadn't noticed, or he hadn't agreed.

"I'm sure the witch has somewhere to live." Dean said. "Like a nice little swamp or some earthy vegan shop or something."

"She doesn't." Castiel said. I was surprised. He was… He was lying. I could easily stay at the cabin, and he knew that, but…

Why was he lying for me?

"Well…" Sam was cornered, and he knew it. Dean let out an exasperated sigh.

"Fine. She can stay here for the night, ok?" He offered. I nodded. "But the freaking hellhound stays outside." Dean shook his head, walking away. "Freaking witches." He muttered. Sam followed, and the two talked quietly.

"You didn't have to do that." I said after they were out of earshot. "Why did you?"

"Do you have anywhere else to stay, besides the Cabin?" He asked. I shook my head. I was still too afraid to go and stay with Mrs. Tran, and risk revealing where she was. "Then why not stay here?"

"They don't like me." I reminded him. "Dean is maybe one accidental mistake on my part away from shooting me with a smile on his face."

"They won't." Castiel assured me. "They're just… Figuring things out in their own way as well."

"What are they trying to figure out?"

"Almost every female around them ends up dead." His voice was honest, caring. "I feel as though they are just tired of seeing it happen so often."

"I can take care of myself."

"Like you did with Lucifer?" He asked. I bit my tongue on that one. "I don't want to see you hurt either, Diana." He offered an awkward pat on the back as he got up. "I'm going to go get some coffee. Would you like any?"

"No thank you." I said, shaking my head. "Not a big fan of coffee, anyways. I think I'm going to do some more research, see if there's a way to get Lucifer out of his vessel."

"Alright." He said, walking off.

I stayed up the entire night, sitting and reading and doing what I could to figure out what in the hell was going on. Castiel brought over a few books to help, and offered what he remembered. "He can be cast out by the vessel." He said. "Or the vessel can take control. Sam did it, did both."

"Good to know." I thought, writing down some ideas. Castiel sat quietly next to me, thinking as I researched. I didn't realize it for a long while, but it was comforting, like how things used to be.

The thought only made me feel worse.

In the early hours of the morning, Castiel got up for another cup of coffee. He offered me one again, and again I refused.

He had two glasses in his hands when a surge went out, a powerful one. Not like a power surge, but an energy surge, like something big had just happened. My head felt like it was about to explode, and I clutched it in pain as Castiel collapsed in front of me, glasses shattering on the ground as he cried out.

"Cas!" I shouted, running towards him. Dean and Sam cam thundering in as I checked his vitals, seeing what was wrong.

"Cas?" Dean said, shoving me over to check on him as well. "Cas? Hey?"

"What did you do?" Sam asked.

"Excuse me?!"

"She didn't do anything." Castiel said. "Something's happened. Something... Angel radio... There are so many voices."

"What are they saying?" Sam asked, turning from me to Castiel. I gritted my teeth, forcing my hands away as I focused on the angel.

"There's been a massive surge in celestial energy." Castiel explained. I nodded. I'd felt the same thing. Was God back? Had he caged Amara again after all? "A Nephilim is come into being. It's the offspring of an angel and a human."

I couldn't help but feel a little relieved at that, until a horrible thought dawned on me.

"And that's big news?" Dean asked.

"Yes, but the power to produce this is immense. It's much, much greater than a typical angel."

"It's Lucifer." I realized, my stomach dropping six feet under.

"Lucifer?" Sam asked. I nodded, as did Castiel, clutching his head still

"I didn't know he was dating." Dean commented. I moved them both out of the way.

"Hold on a second." I said, rooting around in my pockets. No matter what, I always kept spare ingredients on me. I didn't have enough time or focus to make something up (and honestly, at that point I was a little afraid to), but I had one spell memorized from so much use that I could still recall exactly what to do. I cast a hand out to the side, putting one of the two cups back together so I could throw them in. It had been a long time since I'd used this one, but it would work. I couldn't stop what was causing the pain, but I could switch where the pain was going.

I pulled a hair from him quickly, earning a disgruntled "Hey!" from Dean. "Shut up. I'm working." I ordered. The contents in the cup burned easy, and as they did I spoke words I hadn't used in a long time. "Cum sanare infirmos, infirmitatem meam mecum."

As I heal the sick, I take the sickness within myself.

I let out a grunt of pain myself, dropping the cup once more. The shattering sound of it was deafening to my head, GOD did it hurt. I leaned up against the leg of a table, leaving room for Sam and Dean to once more check on Castiel. "Are you alright?" Dean asked. The angel nodded, turning to look at me.

"She…" He stared at me. "She took it on herself."

"Like…" Sam stopped what he was about to say, but I knew the question. Like Kylie did when I told her not to, because magic is bad and won't ever stop being bad?

"Yes." Castiel assured him quickly.

"FUCK this hurts like a bitch." I swore bitterly, clasping my head between my knees. It was worse than my own headache had been before, although thankfully not nearly as bad as a witchbag. "I never want to be an angel. Never."

I was proud of myself for not vomiting like I had the first time, though. That was a definite improvement. The influx of angel pain, however… I'm pretty certain the only reason I was still conscious was the bit of grace inside myself.

I felt an arm around my back, pulling me up a little. "We need to leave, now." Dean's voice, not the one helping me, made me fall back down to the ground in pain. This was worse than a hangover.

"You two start the Impala." Castiel ordered. His voice was right next to mine, and not at all helping my head. "And call Crowley. Let him know about the new information. We will join you in a minute." When nobody moved, Castiel spoke again, much louder and more painfully this time. "Now!"

Then they ran off, presumably to the door. I could feel Karma outside, keening again and barking. The barking wasn't helping. Definitely wasn't helping.

"Why did you have to do that?" Castiel asked, his voice softer this time. He put a hand to my head, and I moved it away.

"Don't." I said. "I'm fine."

He did anyways, and the headache was gone instantly. "Why did you do that?" He asked.

"You were in pain." I answered. "And much more important to everyone else than I am. They don't even want me along, remember?"

"Do you want to come?" He asked. I watched him for a moment, realizing that this was the first time someone had actually asked if I wanted to be involved or not. "If you do not wish to, I won't force you to, but at the same time I believe that you deserve the option to be there if that is what you want."

"I…" I took a deep breath. "I would like to come."

"Then we should go." Castiel said. I nodded, and he helped me get up. My head hurt for just a second again, but not anymore. I summoned my jacket with ease, and we both hurried outside where Dean and Sam were already waiting. I offered Karma a short scratch on the head before she disappeared, and I hopped in the back seat with Castiel.

We were going to hunt the Devil. I knew Sam and Dean and Castiel had been down this road before, probably in this same car too, with Castiel in the back seat as well.

And now I was there with them, and they didn't even know it was me. They just thought I was some witch that they were thinking about killing. And when they did know it was me, Sam had been pretty close to actually doing it. They… They'd hated me.

No matter what I did, no matter what choices I made or details I altered in their memories, that fact would never change. No matter what they knew or didn't know, they were going to despise me and want me out of their lives, with my own being of little consequence to them.

I almost wished that I had died, both times when Lucifer tried to kill me.