We set up a place to draw Lucifer to, and a plan for how Kelly would do that. Once we got to the location, we got to work doing some prep. I set the symbol up on the inside of a door, opposite to where Kelly would be. The plan was that once Lucifer was in the room, I'd run in, smash the symbol, shout the magic words, and pray to whoever or whatever I wanted to that it worked.

God had left, and stranded us again with Lucifer acting like the spoiled, petulant brat. I wasn't really in much of a praying mood.

"Are you ready?" I asked Kelly. She held her phone gingerly, staring at a picture on it. I moved to look, curious, and saw that it was one of her and the President.

"Are you sure that this will save him?" She asked, still staring at that picture.

I glanced at my phone for a moment, before answering. I remembered when the background on it was a picture of me and him, smiling and enjoying ourselves. But that time was long gone, now. I'd made my choice, and I was going to live with it.

"I believe that this is our best opportunity to get your…" The word stuck in my throat, boyfriend. I couldn't say it. "Your Jeff back."

"Please be honest with me." She requested, putting her phone down. "You're… a witch, but you're a very honest one. I've been around political jargon for so long…" She shook her head. "I know when you're trying to cover up a bad with a hopeful good, when you can't make a promise so you make the next best thing, a happy statement. So please, tell me honestly." She held eye contact with me, her face pleading. "Will this work? Will this save Jeff?"

I wasn't certain how to answer. The fact of the matter was, I couldn't make her a guarantee. The HPG had never been tested on angels before, and we weren't about to try and throw Castiel out of a body with no soul, now.

In my hesitation, she asked another question. "Have you ever been in love?" That one took me by surprise. I looked away, then, that image of myself and Castiel on a pixelated screen not quite willing to let go just yet. "You have." She stated. There was no way to lie on that.

"Yes." I admitted. "Once."

"What happened to him?"

"He…" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Castiel walking closer, to make sure everything was ready. "It doesn't matter." I settled on instead. "Not anymore."

"But you would have done anything to save him, right?" She asked. "Sacrificed everything?"

"I already did." I replied, keeping my voice low as I watched Castiel get closer.

"Then you understand." She said. "You understand how I feel, and that I need to know the truth. I love Jeff." Her voice hitched a little on his name. "And I just want to know your honest answer. Will this work?"

Castiel was in the room with us, now. He watched me for a moment, waiting to hear what I would say. I took a deep breath, steadying my voice. "I can't give you a definite promise." I answered. "But what I can say is that this really is our best chance at saving him."

"Thank you." Kelly whispered, taking a deep breath herself. She picked her phone back up, and dialed a number. I turned around, and walked away to give her privacy. Castiel stayed behind a few moments longer before following me.

"Diana," he said. I stopped, turning around to face him. "I…" He wasn't certain what to say. I could almost see the words jamming in his throat, cluttering his brain as he searched for the right way to put them together – the most human way.

"Like I told you," I offered. "It's a difficult story, and not really one that I want to get in to detail on."

"Did he die?" Castiel asked. I was a little thrown by his question. "I'm sorry, it's just that… I understand." He said. "And I know it can be a… a hard thing to bring up and move past."

"Like you're doing?"

"Each day is… difficult." He admitted, his hand floating up to the necklace. "But I truly do believe that each day I am getting better at coming to terms with the reality I am given."

"Good for you, then." I did my best to keep my voice warm, but I could still hear the slight bite to it. "Anyways, we should get ready. Lucifer will haul ass to get here one he hears Kelly say she doesn't want to have a kid."

"Alright." He agreed. I had my angel blades on me (as far as the others knew, I got them from two random dead angels), I had enough ingredients and pre-set spells in case of an emergency, and I had the HPG and the magic words memorized.

That card from Kent was still in my pocket too. I could feel it, like the same way a nervous man feels hundreds of dollars in his wallet. I could call, if I wanted. I could call after all of this, and move to London. Work for the Men of Letters in London. Be appreciated in London, and away from… from all of this.

From Castiel, who doesn't know I'm alive. From Sam and Dean, who would kill me the second they learned the truth and aren't far off from doing it now. From Lucifer and Rowena and Crowley and life here and all the trouble it's brought me.

I could leave after all of this, and never come back.

"What're you thinking on?" Crowley asked. I jumped, slightly, and he let out a short laugh. "I don't think I've managed to startle you since before." He stated. I didn't need him to tell me what before was.

"You…" I thought for a minute. "You're British, right?"

"I'm from Scotland, actually." Crowley answered. "Why?"

"What…" I took a deep breath. "What was it like?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Kent, he," there wasn't any good way to say it. "He offered me an opportunity to work for the Men of Letters, in London."

Crowley watched for a moment, thinking heavily. "What did you say?" He finally asked.

"I haven't answered yet." I took the rucksack off my back, and pulled the HPG out with it. "He wants a response when I return this."

"What do you want to say?" He tried. I shrugged.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "I don't… I don't have anything here. Not anymore."

"What about Mrs. Tran?"

"I can erase her memory." I said. "Like I did with the others. She won't remember me being there, just that a medium arrived to tell her what happened. Pay her back for what she helped me with, too."

"You can always tell Castiel." He reminded me. I shook my head.

"I'm not the same person anymore, Crowley." I answered. "He doesn't even see me as similar. He… He wants to move on." I gave a firm nod with it. "And he deserves to. Having me back in it now, I think it would only make things worse."

"You're serious about leaving, aren't you?" He asked. I nodded again.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I think I am."

"And what if, by some act of fate or chance, Castiel finds out?" Crowley had posed that question to me before, with menace; almost as a threat of him saying something. But now… Now he didn't seem to be threatening to expose me. He was just asking, seeing if I analyzed all the possibilities. For a moment, I felt like I was back in the cabin, back to playing chess and learning how to control my magic. "What then?"

"He can't find out." I answered. "No matter what, he can't. It would hurt him more. He's a good man." I let out a small laugh at that. "He's a better man some days than he is an angel. He would feel obligated to do something, but he's moving on." Every time I said those words, it was like a knife to my gut. "And he lives for millennia. He'll move on and I won't exist to him anymore. He'll just… He'll forget I was ever there."

I'd known that for a long time. I was human. I wasn't immortal. I would age and die. Castiel's vessel may age, but he would outlive me, go on forever, and he would forget about me in a few decades, the equivalent of mere minutes to him.

I was a blip in time for his lifespan. I wasn't anything important. It would be better if I left now, instead of trying to keep the illusion of a life together alive.

"If that's what you truly believe," Crowley started. He was about to say more, to continue, but Lucifer drew near. I knew. And sure enough, Sam and Dean came thundering in, heralding the coming of Satan.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, seeing the looks between myself and Crowley. I shook it off quickly, returning to that look of indifference.

"Nothing." I said hastily, grabbing the HPG. "Lucifer is almost here. We need to get in to positions." Dean looked from me to Crowley, not believing me for a second, but at the same time not having enough time to ask about it. I hear tires squeak, and out of the corner of my eye I saw four SUVs pull up a distance from the house.

"Fine. Go." Dean ordered. We scattered, Crowley to Rowena and myself to a small room with Sam. He was supposed to be back up, make sure I didn't fail.

If I was the praying type, I would've prayed to God that we wouldn't.