Ok, so I'm stuck. I know what want to write, i know were I want to go, and know how to get it there... but I don't want too.. lol I can't bring myself to finish this story becasue I have so enjoyed writing it and living in this world for a little bit. So instead of writing I'm procrastinating and decided to post this for you guy. HOping that knowing you are so close to the end will make me kick my own ass into gear and write it. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: The usual, nothing is mine, i am buy a lowly writing living in another writers world.
Chapter 18 - *Let Him Fly
Ain't no talkin' to this man
Ain't no pretty other side
Ain't no way to understand stupid words of pride
It would take an acrobat and I already tried all that
I'm gonna let him fly
Odette is watching Richie play in her living room. It's that time of the week again, the one time of the week she looks forward to. He's been this amazing light in her life. Something she never thought she'd have, a child. He shows her the picture he's been drawing and nothing makes her happier. It's Logan, and Her and Richie and of course Rory.
This woman who was one this mythical creature in her life, and her marriage is now a full fledged member. She can't make herself dislike Rory, for many reasons, but number one is for the fact that she has Richie in her life now. In fact she usually wants to thank her, but for the last three weeks other than her time with this adorable child her life has kind of been a mess. Logan is distant, and spends more time at work. He's here, but he's not.
Logan walks in the door shortly, late on a Saturday night, it's very unlike him. Yes he works Saturdays a lot but he never misses more time with his son than necessary. Together they walk through the rest of the night, dinner, bath time, story time, and bedtime. This is a version of family she had always imagined… with James.
"Can we talk?" she asks, as they get ready for bed in their bedroom.
"Of course."
"What's going on with us Logan?"
He sighs and sits down on the bed. "Me."
"You?"
"Yes, I've been trying so hard to not hurt anyone, to not be the kind of man my father is."
"You are not your father Logan."
"No? I'm married but I had a child with the woman I was sleeping with right before I got married."
"Ok, so you're not perfect Logan, but you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be you. That's who I adore, and who she loves."
"O…"
"It true. She loves you babe and you love her."
"It's not that simple O."
"Yes it is. When you and I went into this it was because you thought there was nothing left for you and when she showed up with Richie, again you kept your distance because you thought there was nothing there."
"That's not the only reason and you know it. You and I, O.."
"I know but the circumstances have changed. You two have a child together, and she does love you."
"I know all of this."
"I get that you're scared but the two of you keep finding each other. It's like you're each other's true north, and you keep trying to fight it and you keep staying here, with me, when you're heart is really there with her."
He looks down at his hands.
"I can't lose you O. You mean the world to me."
"But you're not in love me Logan, and that was ok when we both knew where we stood, when this partnership worked for us both but I don't deserve this and neither do you."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm leaving Logan."
"What?!" he stand up and she knows she hurt him.
"I'm going to a hotel."
"O, please don't leave."
"I don't want to. I want to stay here and take care of Richie. I want be here when he wakes up and give him breakfast and take him to the park but I'm not his mother."
"He loves you like one. He's known you his whole life."
"But I don't fit anymore and I need some time to figure out what I want. Ok?"
"O, please." He says taking her hands in his. It only now that he notices the packed bag by the door. "Now? You're leaving now?"
"I've been thinking about this for a while, I'll call you. Please give Richie a big kiss for me." And with that she kisses him briefly and picks up her bag and leaves.
The apartment behind her remains silent as she closes the door. Her heart is breaking and she's not sure if it's because she knows in the end she's going to lose Logan or Richie.
Things can move at such a pace
The second hand just waved good-bye
You know the light has left his face
But you can't recall just where or why
So there was really nothing to it
I just went and cut right through it
I said I'm gonna let him fly
Oh yea
Logan sits on the edge of his bed; he is now alone in his apartment as Richie sleeps silently in his room. It's been a long time since the house hasn't had some type of chaos, the wonderful pitfall of having a toddler.
Now though the apartment seems too quiet. He wants to say he's surprised that she left, but he's not. He's been an ass as of late. He's been moody and distant and absent. In trying to do the right thing he feels like he's done nothing right lately.
He walks into Richie's room to watch the sleeping child. He's sleeping so peacefully, not having any idea just how stupid his father is. God bless the innocent. He makes sure he's tucked in and walks back to his own room. He tries to sleep but it won't come. Around 3am he checks his phone and responds to a few work emails. Finally he decided to shoot Odette a text. "I'm sorry."
A few minutes later she responds, "I know."
That's it. No more messages, no more apologies. He lays there till almost 6 am and then decides to get up and make some coffee. Richie will, no doubt, be awake soon, and ready to play.
And so goes the rest of his day. He plays with his son, and avoids his phone and work at all costs. Richie asks for O several times and each time Logan tells him that she will be home later. He doesn't know what else to say to him. He knows his son loves O and vice versa.
By nighttime Richie is crying for her and he does the only thing he can think of, he asks her to come over. She declines but says if he will face time her she will talk to the boy, and so he does. It seems to placate the child who agrees to go to bed only if she reads the story. By this time she knows the book by heart and so she recites it while Logan turns the pages. 30 minutes later the boy is fast asleep.
"Thank you, O. You have no idea how much he misses you."
"I think I have some idea. Good night Logan."
"Good night O."
There's no mercy in a live wire
No rest at all in freedom
Choices we are given it's
It's no choice at all
The proof is in the fire
You touch before it moves away, yeah
But you must always know
How long to stay and when to go
Rory stands in the middle of her living room and listens to the silence of her house. It's always a little lonely when Richie is gone.
A knock at the door brings her out of her revive. She opens it find Odette on her doorstep.
"Odette. Come in. Is Richie ok?"
Odette walks in and closes the door behind her.
"He's fine."
"You want something to drink?"
"A little coffee never hurts."
She follows Rory into the kitchen and sits at the table and waits for the drink.
"So…"
"So?" Rory responds.
"I moved out."
"Excuse me?"
"Of the apartment. I've moved out."
"Why?" Rory is confused "Why tell me?"
"Because I know that you love him and he loves you back. He's just afraid."
"I'm sorry." Rory says.
"I'm so tired of hearing those words. I think it's all I hear from you two, all the time. You're sorry you were mean to me, you're sorry you let him go. He's sorry he lied to you, or he's sorry that he's hurting you or me or whatever. The two of you are always sorry, but no ones willing to be the one to take the first step."
"There's no step to take Odette. He loves you."
"No he doesn't Rory. He loves you. We both already had our great loves. Difference is his is still here, mine isn't. We use to work, we helped each other, it was a benefits to us both that we got married. We were best friends, but Rory, his heart has been with you and Richie every single day."
"I don't know what to say Odette."
"Say you'll make him see that you love him. He wants to be a family he just doesn't want to be hurt again."
The two women sit in a comfortable silence, neither feeling any animosity towards each other anymore. For some weird reason it feels like the air has been cleared.
"I still feel like I should say I'm sorry."
Odette smiles a little and says, " I accept your apology. Lets just figure out a way to get you and Logan on the same page at the same time."
Rory looks up unexpectedly as Odette says, "I mean from what I hear you have high stakes deception in your blood. Am I right?"
"You want to help me and Logan get back together?" Rory asks.
"I want to help my best friend find his happily every after. So are you with me?"
"Knowing Logan we might need some more help." Rory smiles.
"I figured. I've already called in a few reinforcements."
Rory smiles and raises a questioning eyebrow. Where there are about to go next, she has no idea.
And there ain't no talkin' to this man
He's been tryin' to tell me so
It took a while to understand
The beauty of just letting go
'Cause it would take an acrobat
And I already tried all that
I'm gonna let him fly
*Lyrics are Let Him Fly by the Dixie Chicks
