Buck had completely lost track of time and everything else when he felt Vin tap him on the leg. Looking at him he got a nod indicating they weren't alone anymore. Ezra's surgeon was coming into the room. The smile on her face dissipated much of the tension in a hurry.

"Came through it like the experienced patient he his. He'll be keeping us company for a few days to get his strength back, but I expect he'll be home before the weekend. In answer to what I know is your next question, he'll be in recovery for a while longer, and then moved to a private room where you can see him. Not all at once. He'll be asleep for several hours." She watched the smiles light up their faces. As she turned to leave she couldn't help thinking to herself that some days this job really was gratifying.

Vin had already started dialing Chris at the same time Buck was calling Josiah. Promises were made all around that they would avoid invading the hospital until morning, on the condition the three men who had spent the evening in the waiting room also went home to rest. They agreed, with everyone knowing Buck was lying.

"At least try to sleep while you're waiting." Vin asked of him. "You making yourself sick won't help anybody." He knew the "I'll do that" response was another lie.

Buck didn't even have to sweet talk his way into Ezra's room. The head nurse looked up, then glance to one of her colleagues. "Tell Josie she won the bet." She looked back at Buck. "My money was on fearless leader staying the night. Your boy is in room 9. Keep it quite and let him sleep or I will toss you out on your ass – understood." Buck gave a weary smile for a response and headed down the hall. She turned to her young colleague again. "Wish I had friends that loyal." "Are you kidding?" the young woman answered. "I don't even have family that loyal."

Ezra was still ghostly pale, and despite the sedatives he'd been given, managed to look anxious and upset. Buck settled into the uncomfortable chair next to the bed. He had no intention of getting out of it again until he could apologize, hoping Ezra would accept it. It struck him at one point it was more likely his effort would be refused based on what Josiah had been saying, rather than any reticence about letting him off the hook. He came to the conclusion, as he had more time to think about it, that getting Ezra to acknowledge he was not to blame was going to be a challenge.

He didn't stay all night in the chair. He was up pacing more often than not, and when he did sit, he fussed and fidgeted to the point of distraction. He was in pacing mode when JD showed up in the morning.

"He awake yet?" Buck nearly jumped out of his skin, not having heard the door open.

"Damn kid – JD," he corrected, "don't be sneaking up like that. No, not yet. Nurse was here a while ago. She knocked first by the way. Said it could be any minute now, or a few hours off. No way to predict. How you feeling?"

"A little tired. And my arm itches."

"Always do when you can't scratch. Here – sit." He pulled the chair around.

"Buck – you know I'm not mad at you, right? At any of you? I know you don't mean anything when you call me kid. I get that it's just the big brother kind of deal. Actually, I kind of like it sometimes."

"Don't tell me that kept you awake last night?"

"That, and other things. I was thinking about what Josiah said. Wishing we could figure a way to get Ezra where he can relax around us. Stop worrying that we're gonna kick him out or something. It doesn't help that he hates it when we fuss about him at all. Guess that's all part of the problem too."

"What problem?" Vin poked his head in the door. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, come in. He's still asleep. We were talking about what Josiah said."

"Time is the only answer. You have to think about how much Ezra has changed since he first joined up with us. That guy doesn't exist anymore."

"Oh, he exists Vin. He just doesn't dominate the way he used to."

"Morning Josiah. Figured you had to be close behind when I saw JD here." Vin looked at the bags in the big man's hands. "Breakfast?"

"Well, what passes for it at the cafeteria downstairs."

"You do realize you are supposed to be quiet in here so he can rest. I could hear you as soon as I got of the elevator." Chris entered the room and headed straight to the bedside. He'd been hoping Ezra would be looking a little more lifelike, but it was still a huge improvement over the last memory he had.

"Chris, you know we don't do quiet. Besides, he's got enough sedative in him to sleep through a stampeding herd of elephants."

"Good thing JD, cause that's what you all sound like." He looked over to Buck, who was again settled into the chair since JD hadn't taken it. "You sit there all night?"

"When I wasn't pacing."

"You finish beating yourself up?"

"Not yet."

"Gentlemen?" They all went quiet at the word, looking toward the door and seeing the unforgiving glare of the floor's head nurse. "If there isn't peace and quiet in here I will personally throw each and every one of you off the floor and ban you from returning. Is that understood?"

A surprisingly meek round of "yes ma'am" and related apologies filled the air.

"Good. Now, the doctor says he's making a good recovery. Getting stronger and no infection, so I think you can all stop worrying quite so much." She turned, smiling only when they could no longer see her face. If all of her patients had that kind of support team around them, her life would be a lot easier. Noisier – but easier.

They settled in, joined a few minutes later by Nathan who was given the warning about keeping quiet. He glared his response accordingly. After about 30 minutes of comparative silence, JD stood and moved next to Chris.

"Josiah tells me there is video of what happened." Chris shot a dirty look at the informant. "I want to see it."

"You don't want to see that JD."

"No, probably not. But I need to. The rest of you saw what he did for me. I deserve that too."

"You know what he did."

"I know what you told me. I have to see it for myself. Please."

Chris thought fleetingly that there had been a time in his life he rarely sighed. He missed those days. "You have the laptop?"

"My tablet", he said, starting to hand it over. Chris waived it off. "You'll find it faster. Even one handed. In my folders, in the case file."

A few minutes later JD turned off the tablet and stared in disbelief at Ezra. "He completely covered me. He was on top when he was shot. That should be me."

"Don't go there kid." Buck cautioned. "If it was you stretched on that bed he'd be tearing himself apart about it. Hell, that's exactly what he was doing in the ER. He did what he had to do out in that alley. Not as an agent. Not as your partner. As Ezra. If I'd recognized that yesterday he wouldn't have been sitting bleeding for two hours."

Chris had heard enough. "Both of you knock it off. The only thing we need to think about right now making sure he gets the rest he needs, and comes to his own senses about who is to blame in all of this. And in case any of you haven't figured it out, that would be the bastard on the roof with the gun."

"You know that's not entirely true Chris."

"It is for now. Buck – there is a huge pile of crap to deal with from all of this. Can we just for now take it one issue at a time?" He got a shrug for a response, but decided for now that would have to do. He turned to study JD, who still stared at Ezra.

"JD – look at me. You would have done the same thing if the situation had been reversed. You may not be sure of it, but I am. We all are."

"I guess I know that. It's just, to see it. To see him do that. It's hard to figure."

"Please tell me that is the voice of Mr. Dunne I am hearing."

"Hey there Ezra. Yup. Me. Safe and sound, thanks to you. No, you stay still. You aren't supposed to do anything but rest for the next 48 hours."

Ezra ignored the order and tried to move, with no success. He settled for turning his head, and found himself staring at JD's cast.

"Good Lord, I broke your arm."

"You saved my life Ezra. My injuries are a small price to pay."

"Injuries? More than just your arm?"

"Ezra, it's nothing. My God, you were shot. A bump on the head doesn't come close to mattering after that."

"I knew I had hit you to hard. I am sorry. I did not intend-"

"Please Ezra – shut up. I am fine. I would likely not be if you hadn't pushed me. We are not supposed to be getting you upset or excited, so please, just calm down."

"Was anyone else hurt?"

"Just you." Chris answered. "And when you feel stronger, we are going to have us a little chat about all of this. Right now, you listen to JD. You are supposed to be resting."

"Why?"

"Because after surgery it is a good idea to give your body a bit of time to return to what passes for normal. We've been through this often enough for you to know the drill Ezra." Nathan smiled as he explained, assuming the drugs still had the patient a bit addled.

"Why was I in surgery? Mr. Dunne was injured, so why was I in surgery? Did he say I was shot?"

"You still don't remember?" Vin looked worried, but Nathan waved him back.

"Ezra, you're still a bit groggy, so don't worry about it. You got hurt right after you pushed JD out of the line of fire."

"You got hurt protecting me Ezra. You saved my life." JD repeated, still a bit awestruck by the full extent of Ezra's actions.

"That does not match my recollection."

"That's 'cause you spent too much time blaming yourself about something you had no control in." Chris explained. "Like Nathan said, no point in worrying about in now. Now all you have to do is get yourself better. And that means rest, which means peace and quiet. We're gonna let you get some sleep. One of us will stay, but the rest are going into work. We'll be back later. That sound OK? Ezra? Great – you guys ignore me, and he falls asleep while I'm talking to him. I used to be feared and respected. What happened?" Vin just smirked in response, but decided it was in his best interest to keep any further response to himself. The others followed that lead.

"Josiah, make yourself comfortable. You get to stay for now. Buck, shut up. You are going home and getting some sleep. At least stretch out for a bit. I am not losing this argument."

"I need to talk to him Chris."

Josiah answered for Chris. "That's all well and good Buck. But don't you think that might go better if both of you get some rest and perspective first. Ezra's gonna fight what you think you need to tell him."

Chris nodded. "I won't have you saying anything you'll both regret just because you're too tired to think before you open that big mouth."

JD looked up from his spot beside the bed. "I think I should stay Chris. Don't feel up to going into the office."

"Fine – then we check you back into the hospital, to a room on another floor so you can rest. Don't try to con me JD – Ezra hasn't taught you that well yet." JD had the grace to look embarrassed. "You need to come in to make a statement. We'll bring you back after, unless you really do need to get rest."

"I do, but I need to be here more."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

"Ezra –"

"Please, don't."

"Don't what. Don't tell you how wrong I was?" Buck was certain Ezra didn't want to speak with him, and he could completely understand why.

Night had fallen, and after a long day of waking confused, and drifting back to sleep it seemed like Ezra was finally free from the influence of the medications he'd been on. He was still getting pain medication, but the dose was small enough to allow his mind to be comparatively clear again. He remembered the alley, he remembered the waiting room. And he remembered what Buck had said to him.

"Don't apologize. One should never apologize for speaking the truth, however unpleasant it might be to hear."

"You see, that's where you've got it all wrong. Because I had it all wrong"

"If you are trying to confuse me, you are making a valiant effort. I misjudged the situation. I underestimated the opposition. Once again, I put far to much faith in my own abilities, and Mr. Dunne paid the price for it."

"You see – there is just all kinds of wrong in that statement."

"I implore you Mr. Wilmington, find a word other than 'wrong'."

"Not like you Ezra. I don't have a list of other words to use. Guess I could say I messed up. Or screwed up. Or fuc-"

"Yes, I get the point. But whichever phrase you choose, you are erroneous."

"Show off."

"My arrogance almost cost our young colleague his life. It is only by the grace of God he is still with us."

"What you call the grace of God, I call Ezra. You do realize that you are in this hospital bed because you took a bullet aimed at him?"

"Aimed at us. Because I took him into a treacherous circumstance. It was my job, my duty, to protect him."

"Don't let him here you say that. We all got an earful about how it ain't our job to protect him, he's not a kid, real badge. It was quite a performance. I'm sure he'll be happy to repeat it for you if you slip up like that in front of him."

"He was my partner and I let him down."

"He was your partner, and you saved his life."

"And as he so vehemently reminded us – he's a grown man who can make his own decisions." Chris had been relieved to hear his two men talking as he'd walked down the hall, but less than thrilled with the discussion as he got close enough to hear Ezra's words. He hoped to set the record straight once and for all. "We all look out for each other. And when one of us screws up – and I am NOT saying that is what happened – then we stick together and make things right."

"Which is what I need to do Ezra. I had no right to say what I did in the waiting room."

Chris felt is own mia culpa was due. "None of us did. We were so damn scared about the kid we forgot about the team. Damn near to being a fatal mistake."

"What you have to understand Ezra," Buck continued, "is that we were every bit as scared when we realized you were hurt. When I watched them take you into emergency, I think I was actually more afraid. See, I knew that if – God forbid – JD hadn't made it, at least he knew how I felt about him. How I think of him. But the last thing you heard from me is yelling and cursing. Damn it Ezra, we sat that letting you bleed because we were to damn stupid to see the big picture."

"You think I am unaware of how I am seen by the team?"

"Yeah – I do. We do."

"You see me as family, as one of you. You believe me to be a worthy member of the group, to be part of the whole. Is that not accurate? Is that not why the words you spoke in the heat of the moment cause you such concern now?" Ezra looked at Buck, who merely nodded.

Both men looked at him dumbfounded. "Yeah, that pretty much covers it." Chris stated. "If you get it, why do you keep beating yourself up the way you do?"

"I stated that I understood how I am perceived by the team. I did not say the perception was accurate."

"I thought you had a higher opinion of us than that Ezra." Vin had been standing at the door, with the others, for the last few phrases of the discussion.

"My opinion of you, of all of you, is not in dispute here."

"I'd have to disagree. See, we all agree on what you said about how we see you. But apparently, you have decided we are lousy judges of character."

"That's pretty insulting Ezra." JD added.

"No, everybody has a blind spot. Someone who they know is flawed, but who they accept regardless. For me, it is my mother. For you, it is me. Once again, that blind faith proved exceedingly dangerous."

"That blind faith saved my life Ezra. You can argue it or deny it or explain it away all you want, but it doesn't change a damn thing."

"You really should surrender you know." Nathan spoke calmly. "One would have to assume after this much time with us, you'd have figured out that we are six ridiculously stubborn, pig headed men. You can deny your worth all you want – we don't buy it. Give it up."

"One thing you do have right in all of this Ezra, is that I am mad as hell about how this all went down."

"I knew I could count on you Mr. Larabee. Your perception of me has always been the least imprudent. Mr. Jackson is a close second."

"Don't leap to the wrong conclusion. I'm not mad about the alley, I am royally pissed about what came after. They can talk about shock and confusion and any other excuse they want, but I know you. You didn't consider yourself important enough to need the attention. You will put any and everybody else first. You've been accused of being selfish for so long you will go to any length now to make sure nobody here sees you that way. Now, if you want to play it that way when it comes to credit for case, or to acknowledging who you really are under all that fancy act, that's one thing. But if you ever again put your health on the line like that, I will kick your sorry ass to the curb. I will not put you in a position where you feel you need to get yourself killed just so no one will think less of you. Do you understand me?"

Ezra stared back, unwilling and unable to answer. He couldn't process any more of this. The shooting, the waiting, the tension, the anger. It was all playing out in his mind again. He fought back the feelings that were threatening to break through the façade that had been weakened by the past few days. He could almost physically feel the revelation hitting him. It seemed to simple for him to accept. He trusted them, and they trusted him. Logic would dictate then that he was trustworthy. Could it be that simple? Or was he just that tired? He looked at Chris for a few more seconds, then allowed the gaze to expand to the others. They meant it.

They all saw the moment Ezra's professional poke face slipped away. "If that is the case Mr. Larabee – Chris, I suppose this might be a good time to tell you that I am sore, and tired, and more than a little out of sorts. I think I am in need of a good night of peace and quiet. Alone."

"You get what I'm saying Ezra?" Chris asked again.

"I do."

"You going to behave yourself from now on?"

"Good Lord Chris. I may have had an epiphany, but I did not have a personality transplant. You would be bored to tears if I – if any of us – were to start behaving. What a ridiculous notion." Chris groaned at the genuine smile Ezra favoured them with.

"Honestly, there was a point I had some degree of control over this crowd."

"Yeah Cowboy," Buck grinned. "You keep telling yourself that."

The End.

(Hope you liked this, 'cause you are all going to hate me big time when I publish the next one!)