((Chapter heading is taken from the song The Funeral of Hearts by HIM. My tiny bit of Latin is mentioned later and therefore not translated. I'll spare you and not tell you that the passive voice, is, of course, actually a mediopassive voice – oversimplified, use a transitive Latin verb in the passive voice and you get a reflexive verb. Ah … oops.))


Chapter 5
So Vulnerable and Pale

Fenris grinned, sword held out to his side with one hand. Dorian admired the strength the slight elf must have. And his balance. Standing on top of a dragon's head must need balance. Add a weapon the mage would barely be able to lift with two hands … 'So, who said we can't kill a dragon again?'

'I didn't say "can't",' Varric said. 'I just asked if it was necessary. Dragons smell, you see. Aside from the minor inconveniences like fire.'

With admirable grace, the elf jumped down and wiped his sword on the grass. 'What's your excuse, Pavus?'

'Me? I never had any doubts.'

Fenris nudged him when he walked back towards the camp. 'Sure. You were full of confidence. Especially when you screamed at the top of your lungs.'

'I screamed because that thing was about to land. On you. It was a bit large, in case you didn't notice, so I decided it was a good moment to scream.'

'Worried, were you?'

'Large. Dragon. So, yes. I was concerned that a dragon standing on your head rather than the other way round might be a tad harmful.'

Fenris gave him a lingering look. 'What's it to you?'

'Come on, Fenris, you know that I'm hardly indifferent. No one is more fun to hunt venatori with than you are.'

Fenris chuckled. 'Good to know.'

Varric made a gagging sound. 'Get a room, you two.'

Dorian went cold all over. Sure, they had flirted, but someone else acknowledging it might be bad. 'That is so not … I have absolutely no designs on him, Varric!' He glanced at Fenris, dreading that he'd see hatred or that horrible, haunted look he'd had on his face when the spell blocking his memories was removed, but all he saw was a smirk.

'Heu me! Si umquam reflectaris, dic mihi.'

Dorian stopped dead in his tracks at that and Varric snorted. 'Yeah. Very subtle, Broody.'

Ϡ

Dorian hesitated before knocking on the door to Fenris's private quarters. The shout to come on in hadn't sounded exactly welcoming, and he had no idea … Maybe it was better to scram.

The decision was made for Dorian when Fenris threw the door open to glare out. 'Oh, it's you,' he said then. 'Come in.'

'I … ah … can come back later.'

'No. At least I'll have an excuse if Cassandra comes to complain that I take too many risks.'

'Oh!' He really shouldn't feel so relieved that the impatience hadn't been for him. 'Well … Fenris … I should probably not even ask you this, but I have to know. You were joking, weren't you? When you told me to tell you if I changed my mind. About you.'

Fenris made a face. 'In part. It's fun to watch Varric's face when he tries to figure out Tevene.' He raised his hands. 'But in part, I meant it. I like you, Dorian. A lot. I find that very disconcerting, but it's still true.'

'That … wow. I didn't see that coming.'

Fenris's lips twitched. 'Didn't you? You flirt, you charm, you … well.'

'That's just me, though, Fenris. I do that. It means … it means I didn't guard myself as carefully as I should have, because … Maker. Fenris, we have so much history, and not the good kind.'

'Not the good kind? The only reason why I even know who I am is you. But … I understand.'

'No. You don't. I … do not have to change my mind because I … I fell for you long ago. For that brilliant mind that I knew was there behind the … the clusterfuck of a spell Danarius had put on you. You're eloquent and you positively absorb every morsel of information you hear, your eyes positively sparkle with wit, you're … you're so beautiful, and you care so much. But I honestly thought you'd never see anything in me than a man who'd added to your pain.'

Fenris turned away. 'I did. At first. But you … you don't look at me as if I'm less than you. It's like you don't even think about that.'

'I try not to. I feel ashamed how I treated you. No-one deserves that.'

Fenris laughed drily. 'You treated me a lot better than anyone before, even back when I was your toy, Pavus.'

The mage swallowed. 'I still prefer not to think about it.' He stepped closer, well into Fenris's personal space. The elf didn't retreat. 'I'd prefer to think about the present.'

'Works for me.' Fenris crossed the remaining distance and pressed his lips to Dorian's. The glow of the sun on the mountains outside the windows had never been more beautiful.