8: The Ex (2)
Four and a half years ago.
She's going to kill him.
Not, of course, the boyfriend currently trying to unscrew the doorknob. No, the idiot who locked them in a closet, knowing full well she didn't want this, smirking, while he very decidedly disrespected her wishes and locked them in the damn closet.
She loves Jeremy. She's known him forever.
And even though they just met less than thirty minutes ago, Bonnie knows with absolute certainty that she hates Enzo.
Despises him.
Wants him to burn in hell.
Wants to stand there and watch as he suffocates, as his loved ones laugh at him and that stupid-ass smirk is wiped clean from his face so she can -
"Bonnie - Bonnie!" She blinks as Jeremy frowns at her in concern. Her stomach clenches. "You okay?"
No, she's not okay. It's not dark, since he has the flashlight on his phone pointed to the ground, but she feels like she can't breathe - there's nowhere to run, no way to avoid him, no way he can't see the panic rising quickly, clawing at her shoulders and her neck, choking her, blocking air and reason as spots of light taint the darkness behind her eyes and all she wants to do is -
"Hey," he says, stepping forward, hand inches away from her shoulder. She flinches and he immediately backs off. "What can I do to help?"
Bonnie shakes her head. "Nothing - it's just - small spaces," she lies, because it's not the small space, it's him, standing in front of her with love and concern etched on his face. Jeremy moves towards her again, and this time she lets him and she melts into his embrace. He's warm. He's soft. He's strong. But it feels protective and wrong and - brotherly.
She's going to kill Enzo when she gets out of here.
Jeremy must feel her tense, because he begins stroking her hair. "Hey, we'll get out of here. Someone will notice we're missing, or Damon will kick everyone out so they can hear us, or - "
"I know that." She doesn't mean to be harsh, to cut, but he's so soft and her insides burn. She steps back, away from him and her back hits the wall. It's ironic, probably, that she feels boxed in. But his hand reaches for her and she involuntarily cringes. Without saying anything, she looks away from and his arm drops. "I - "
"What's going on?" he asks, still calm and soft-spoken. It's frustrating and makes her want to scream. She wants him to scream, to get mad, to throw things or yell or hit the wall. Something. Anything. She wants a reason to hate him.
Instead, Bonnie crosses her arms over her chest. "Nothing."
"Don't lie." Even though his voice is still level, this time it's a command. And it's enough of a difference that she looks at him. His eyes flicker between concern and something else she can't quite identify. It feels like too sweet cupcake frosting, where just a lick is satisfaction, but too much and her teeth hurt and she wishes they'd fall off instead. "You've been acting weird for a while now, just tell me - "
Maybe it's because she desperately wants to vomit, to remove her insides so they don't threaten to flay her alive, that she finds words disappearing past her lips and hitting the air in loud vibrations that mirror those of the music fading from her ears. It's just him and her, now. "I think we should break up."
Silence. Complete silence. Whispers in her head slowly rise, insults and threats and regrets, but all that registers is her heartbeat, squeezing and out of sync.
Finally: "What?"
"I think we should break up." She doesn't break eye contact, hopes she can keep her face calm and determined. "I love you, but - "
"Don't." He doesn't look angry, not yet, rather confused and a bit resigned and that makes her heart hurt more. But then slowly, anger reaches his neck and jaw and then his eyes narrow. "Enzo knows?"
That surprises her. "What - "
This laugh is loud and bitter and now her heartache feels like broken glass in her veins. "You told Enzo, a guy you just met, that you wanted to break up with me. Instead of just - " He shakes his head, messy hair flying, and Bonnie can't move. "Who else did you tell?"
"...Damon," she says, her quiet voice a stark contrast to his and it makes her wince. "No one else, I promise."
"Does Damon also know you were in love with him?"
This time, Bonnie snaps, because he's so close to yelling, and in such a closed space she needs to fight back. "Of course not!" Her fingers dig into her palms. "And I wasn't in love with him, it was just a crush. You know that. I told you that in confidence!"
"The same confidence you had in me? To tell other random guys about how you don't want me - but can't get over yourself to just talk to me?" Each word stings. He's only spitting out the truth. But it hurts.
"Jeremy - "
He spins and hits the wall. Vibrating through the room, his slap echoes in her ears even when he turns to face her again. "I don't want to hear your excuses. I don't want to hear how I was always just Elena's little brother, how we're too different, and this hurts and you still love me, just not like that , like a - "
His shouted hisses, the unspoken brother , all slam flat on the floor when the sharp knocks interrupt them.
"Jeremy? Bonnie? You guys okay?"
Jeremy lets out a breath. "Yeah, let us out, please."
She's proud of how steady his voice is.
When the door swings open, however, Bonnie only feels guilt. Elena glares at her, a tiny tick visible in her eye, stepping back.
Bonnie swallows. "What's wrong?"
"You broke up with Jeremy?" Elena has always had a talent for speaking calmly even when angry and Bonnie hates it, especially right now. Jeremy flinches and slides past his sister, who stands just in front of the doorway; she's backlit by the party and maybe the shadows make her seem - harsher.
Bonnie stands straighter, ready to defend herself, and stands halfway inside the closet and halfway out. "Yes - Elena - I'm sorry but it just wasn't - "
"I don't care that you broke up with him," she says, shaking her head with disgust written in the corner of her lips. "I'm mad that you broke up my baby brother in a closet where everyone could hear you and didn't once think to talk to me about it. But you talked to Damon. Who, apparently, you were in love with." Her voice drops, shaking, and Bonnie grips the doorframe tightly. "But you didn't tell me that either."
And when Elena leaves, spinning on her heel and breathing heavily, Bonnie finally recognizes the large crowd around them. The house is quiet, the music long since turned off, and the stares pierce her. She fights back the tears.
Pushing through the crowd, the two men Bonnie least wants to see suddenly appear. Damon frowns, glancing at her, but when his eyes fall on Elena's retreating back, he quickly follows her.
That doesn't hurt as much as she expected it to.
But when Enzo steps towards her, his face carefully blank and voice low, and asks, "are you okay?" - that's when the hurt and the pain and the anger and the guilt flood back, all at once, clawing at her until she feels like she's drowning. So with a pained smile, one that she knows will pierce him more than any glare she could muster, Bonnie meets him in the middle of the crowd. She doesn't bother raising her voice. "You don't get to talk to me, ever again. Get the hell out of my life."
Bonnie leaves and waits until she's back in her room, surrounded by cardboard boxes and suitcases, to curl up on the floor and sob.
Present day.
Bonnie runs her hands down her thighs and she doesn't know if likes that Enzo's gaze follows her movements. She waits, because she's been talking for too long, and takes a sip of the water the waiter had left for them. Once she begins drinking, she realizes she's actually quite thirsty, finishing more than half the glass before Enzo finally speaks.
"I didn't realize Elena was so mad about it." Bonnie looks at him sideways, but he's still looking at her legs. "You still hang out together and stuff."
Bonnie shrugs. "Not really. We barely talk. I think the last time we were alone in a room together was during her housewarming party - and that's only because Caroline ran late and Damon had to go get ice."
"Speaking of Caroline - " Enzo readjusts and Bonnie finally looks at him completely. Leaning against his elbow on the back of the seat, he raises an eyebrow. "She's just okay with this? That doesn't seem her style."
She shifts and looks down again. "She's not, but I think Elena said something to her because she's never brought it up."
Enzo looks like he can't believe it, and for a moment, Bonnie worries he might want to actually ask Caroline about it - but he sighs instead. "I'm still not sorry that I got you to break up with him." His face softens, eyes twinkling in the dim lighting and she resists the urge to stroke the stubble lining his jaw. "But I am sorry that I hurt you." Her heart clenches painfully. "I - I never wanted to do that."
"I know." She really does, but she doesn't accept his apology, doesn't think she can. Enzo doesn't look away from her and his intense gaze somehow reassures her that he doesn't expect her to.
"Maggie and I - " he continues and Bonnie feels herself stop breathing in the hopes he keeps talking and doesn't stop. It's curiosity, mostly, but also a desperate need - for him to tell her more, to confide in her, to trust her - "I found out she moved back that day."
But that - that surprises her. "Really?"
"Yeah, I guess she just - got in my head."
His confession meets silence. Bonnie lets it settle in her head, lets the missing passages find their blank pages. It's a story of that night, a story of Enzo, a story about everything and nothing -
"Have you tried talking to Elena since then?" His fingers tap against the seat again, perfectly in rhythm with the song gently playing in the background. Bonnie wonders if he ever played an instrument.
"Not really. She avoids me," she says, without thinking, mostly because it's late and she's quite tired - it's been a long day. But even as Bonnie yawns, she still hears his next words.
"You sure you're not avoiding her?" Bonnie wants to glare at him, but he's perfectly serious, lips upturned only to offer comfort and softness. In fact, only then Bonnie notices that it's his voice - accented and ragged, but soft and soothing, that distracts her.
She's truly exhausted.
And maybe that's why Bonnie doesn't answer him, and instead tilts her head and narrows her eyes. "You're a good guy, you know." Enzo stiffens slightly, but when Bonnie lets her hand fall on top of his, stilling his fingers, she only notices how her heart seems to want to fill her chest. "And you don't need me to tell you that."
Enzo looks at their hands. "Maybe. I guess."
For a moment, Bonnie wants to kiss him. But as quickly as the thought arises, it disappears, especially when she clears her throat and drops her hand back to her lap, intertwining her fingers together. Enzo moves backward, as if he had just noticed how close they had gotten on the same side of that tiny booth - but Bonnie smiles. "You want to tell me more about Maggie?"
He snorts and Bonnie smiles wider. "Not really."
"Okay."
The silence that hovers is not only comfortable, but normal - and when Enzo starts humming a harmony to the song playing, Bonnie leans her head against the seat and closes her eyes. Her shoulders feel lighter. Her heartbeat feels a little less painful. Her head feels clearer.
Maybe she can forgive him. Someday.
Just as she hovers between awakeness and sleep, her phone vibrates harshly on the table. She groans. "Who is it?" she asks, not wanting to open her eyes.
Enzo leans over her and Bonnie swallows, wondering why the hell she asked him to get closer to her - "Um, you may want to take this."
Her eyes shoot open and she grabs her phone. Frowning, the ironic timing not lost on her, she answers. "Hello?"
"Oh my god, Bonnie! Thank god - I've been trying to get Damon but he won't pick up and Caroline's going to straight to voicemail - I'm on my way to the airport right now but - "
"Jeremy," says Bonnie, quickly, hoping her voice soothes him in some way, even if her stomach churns in panic. "Deep breaths. What's going on?"
His voice cracks and Bonnie grips the table tightly. "Elena was hit by a car and she's in the hospital and they didn't say how serious it was but no one else is answering so I'm heading there right now - "
"I'll get Damon and Caroline," says Bonnie, already grabbing her purse. "Which hospital?"
"There's only one hospital, Bonnie!"
"Jeremy - "
His long sigh vibrates in her ear. "Right, sorry, I'm just - "
Bonnie smiles even if he can't see it. "It's okay. I get it. I'll you updated."
"Thanks, Bon."
After hanging up, she turns to quickly explain to Enzo everything - only to find him already standing, her jacket stretched out to her, his phone already to his ear. "I'll drive." She barely has time to nod before he drops some cash on the table and nudges her out the door.
And for once, Bonnie is glad Enzo's there.
Notes: This is the part where you all go back and reread chapter 1.
