Day after day. Silent. Lonely. Fear. Suspense.

This is now my life. Living everyday one step behind the rest of the world. I sit and wait. I am sick of counting track of the time I have been away from my loved ones.

It was now 2 P.M. Cain left 6 hours ago. I'm not sure what he told his "friends" when they asked if he had a girl in his life. Maybe he said we eloped. Maybe he said I was his girlfriend. It pained me to say I was known to be with someone other than Jake. I need to see him. I yearned to look at his face. I want him to tell me that I am loved. Right now, I am loved by know one.

Staring is an interesting thing. It usually results out of boredom. It looks like you are looking at something very intently. Yet you don't even think about the thing you seem to be concentrating on.

All I do in my life is stare. I seem to be very involved in what I am doing yet my mind is pacing 100 miles an hour on something completely different. All I do is think. I think mostly about my family and loved ones, but I also think about everything. About time, heaven, hell, books, the past, the future. Many things.

'Maybe a hot shower will do me some good.' I sighed to myself. I trudged up the stairs to my "room." (A small cot and a dresser), and quickly gathered my things.

As I walked into the bathroom I eyed myself in the mirror. I was a mess. Because I simply did not know how to care anymore. I seemed to cry so often that when I do, I sometimes do not know it. I let my self into the hot shower feeling the hot bullets on my back. I winced, but soon relaxed and let my frail shoulders droop.

I soon finished and slowly rapped my towel around me and got dressed into who knows what. I combed through my hair with my fingers and decided it was decent enough.

I trudged back down the stairs and into the quaint living room and peered out the window. It was beautiful. (A.N I have never been to Washburn, North Dakota I just needed a small unknown town. So sorry if it's not… beautiful or unknown. Ha. Okay back to the story.) It was the middle of fall and the hills and mountains were covered in red orange and yellow trees. I slowly walked out the creaky door and onto the porch. As soon as my body was out the door I was greeted by an ambush of the cool weather. I arched my back slowly stretching out all my soar muscles. And for the first time in a very long time, I smiled. I didn't give a toothy grin. Just a small smile that fit gracefully on my lips. It was there so shortly you would see it one second, blink, and it would be gone the next, and the I was back to my normal miserable face.

I glanced at the clock 3:30. Time doesn't matter anymore. Just 8:00 and 6:00. Those times are all that matter.

I want to go for a walk.

I put some tomato sauce in the microwave so it could be made quickly when I got home. I put the hard noodle shells into some boiling water. I then went back to my thoughts.

I want to be able to feel the world again. I want to feel something. Because slowly, as time goes on, I am hardening and losing my senses. He may have taken the car but he didn't take my free will. At lease when he's not here. He threatens me. "Do not leave this house. I will find you. And if you are with them. I will find them, and I will kill them. And leave you to live with the guilt of killing your own world and not being able to die for it." I can't go back to them. But I can feel the wind on my face. I grabbed a light jacket a walked out the door.

I sucked in the scent of fall through my nose and let it filter through my lungs. I needed this. I looked down at my converse not remembering ever putting them on. But what does it matter. I felt something wet drop on my hand. I was crying again. There's no use and trying to stop tears. They come for a reason. I looked up and found myself entering our little town. People eyed me with a questioning look on their face. They were probably thinking 'Why is a strange girl walking around our town crying in such beautiful weather.' I chuckled to myself if only they knew.

I continued to cry and just walk. Until I suddenly felt two small fingers reach up and touch me on the arm, and ask "Why are you crying". I slightly jumped and turned to look down at a small blue eyed girl. I gathered my thoughts and tried to come up with a reasonable answer, because I truly did not know. I stuttered until I could come up with something. "Sometimes, crying is the worst thing to do in a situation, but sometimes, it is the best thing to do. And right now it's the only thing I can do" I whispered to the girl, hoping I was making sense. The girl turned her head slightly, but smiled slightly towards me. Then she quickly skipped to catch up with her mother.

I glowed at the young child's small gesture. For it was the most attention someone has paid to me in 3 months.

As I turned to return to my walk I saw a male's blond head cross the other side of the road. I didn't see the stranger's face, but it seemed to kind of resemble my Jake.

My heart and pace sped up as I tried to catch up to him. Only to see him get into his silver car and drive away.

Oh well. It probably wasn't even him.

I continued walking past small stores and antique shops.

As I walked by a small coffee shop I noticed the time.

5:45

My breathing got shallow as I slowed my pace and stared at the time. I suddenly sprinted towards the house. Running for more than my dear life. I could here HEY!'S and WATCH IT'S through out the crowed as I sprinted. But I didn't know these people. I didn't care. All I cared about was getting back to "home".

I found myself seeing the cottage in the distance. I ran faster that my legs could move a tripped on my own feet, landing roughly on the ground. I moaned as I slowly got back on my feet noting that my knee was bleeding through my sweat pants. I continued to run past the small pond, past the mailbox and past the porch all the way into the house and collapsed on the couch. my breathing finally returned to it's normal pace. Then it dawned on me.

Dinner.

I leaped off the couch and into the kitchen set the microwave on 1 minute, took the spaghetti out of the now boiling pot. Took the sauce out of the microwave, quickly put the spaghetti in a bowl, pored the sauce on the noodles, set the table, filled a glass with tea, and finished just in time to here a car pull up.

I waited until I heard the door open roughly. I then heard a harsh voice ask "Why are you bleeding?"

A.N: Well was this one kinda long? I hope it was(: okayyy. I say once again: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review this. TELL ME EVERYTHING. Okay. Please? kaythankksss. :D