When They Think of Me (They Think of You)
By: TheFifthCharmedOne
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Supernatural is just a show that made me catch feelings.
Summary: 1,460 days later and Cas still has feelings for Dean. He's tried to date other people, many others, but none of them have ever made him feel the way Dean did. When his sister convinces him to move back to Lawrence, he never expects to see Dean again. He is sorely mistaken. Contains UST (lots of it) and man-pain. Also, Sabriel, and Charlie/Anna.
Chapter Seven: Beautiful Disaster
Note: This is where the 'explicit' rating really means something. Like, really. There's gonna be A LOT of sexual tension released in the next few chapters. If that bothers you, you can skip over those scenes and still enjoy the story. (I hope)
With that said, please enjoy!
"Brought you some food," Sam's voice carries over Dean's Led Zeppelin tape, and Dean rolled out from under the Impala to retrieve it.
"Ellen's bacon cheeseburger," he said appreciatively. "And fries. You do love me."
Sam rolled his eyes but looked over their father's car.
"This car has so many memories." Sam commented. "Remember the Legos and army men?"
Dean laughed and nodded. His gaze falls on the backseat of the car and a memory hits him like a truck.
Dean had only meant to kiss Cas once before he started the engine, but something in the other man's eyes had him hypnotized.
Their mouths met in a clash of hot desire and before either knew what was happening, they'd climbed into the backseat and were removing each other's clothes.
"Top or bottom?" Dean asked breathlessly, peppering Cas's jaw and neck with kisses.
"B-Bottom," Cas stammered, and Dean smiled.
Once they were both naked, Dean had Cas on his back and his legs lifted so his puckered entrance was open to him.
"F-Fuck, Dean…" Cas groaned as Dean prepped him, pressing one, two, three fingers inside the entrance and pumping them in and out. "Please, I'm ready…"
Dean lined up his member with the hole and pressed himself inside.
Cas hissed at the intrusion.
"So tight for me angel mmmm…" Dean moaned, pressing more and more of himself inside.
"Dean please…" Cas begged, his blue eyes so widely dilated they were almost black.
Dean kissed Cas hard, their stubble scratching deliciously between them as Dean fully sheathed himself inside Cas.
"F-Fuck…" Cas groaned. "Dean, move. I'm ready."
Dean did so, and Cas moaned his name over and over.
"Dean!" Sam grabbed Dean's shoulder, and Dean blinked.
"Huh?"
"Where did you go?" Sam asked, and with a cursory glance downward, he second-guessed himself. "Maybe it's better I don't know."
Dean swore as he realized that a damn memory had gotten him hard.
"Shut up, Samantha," Dean said as he stormed toward the nearby table to eat his lunch.[G1] [G2]
"So, you applied to KU," Sam said after a few minutes.[G3] [G4]
"Yeah? What's your point?" Dean asked around a mouthful of food.
"I'm proud of you," Sam said, and despite himself, Dean preened at the acknowledgment. "Did you tell mom?"[G5] [G6]
"Nothing to tell her yet," [G7] Dean said, biting a fry. [G8]
Sam opened his mouth to say something else, but his phone dinged to indicate a text message. The goofy smile that ensued after he read the message made Dean want to gag.
"Please tell me Gabriel's contact in your phone is 'Prince Charming'." Dean teased. Sam shot him a bitchface, and Dean raised his hands defensively. "As long as that asshole treats you like the princess you are, that's all that matters to me."
"Same goes for Cas," Sam smirks as Dean raises a middle finger in his brother's general direction. "He's back by the way. Came home this morning."[G9] [G10]
"And you know that because you stayed at their apartment, right?"
Sam blushed, and Dean cackled.
"Nothing happened!" Sam claimed. "Seriously. We went out for coffee yesterday and…he didn't even try anything."
"You don't sound too happy about that," Dean said, and Sam, if possible got even redder.[G11] [G12]
"Shut up, jerk," Sam grumbled.[G13] [G14]
"Bitch," Dean replied affectionately. "I think she's ready to be started up. Wanna sit in the passenger side? Like old times?"[G15] [G16]
Sam grinned.
"Sure."
The Winchesters climbed into the Impala and Dean pushed the key into the ignition, turning it over and almost cheering as Baby responds.
"Listen to her purr," Dean said proudly.
"Four days of almost no food or sleep and she's already running. That's impressive, even for you." Sam commented. Dean rolled his eyes. "And with one arm, no less."
Dean shifted his arm in the sling. "Did you pay Crowley yet?"
Silence met the question.
"I've been kind of busy." Dean groused.
"Dean…" Sam sighed. "The longer you let this drag out, the tighter Crowley will hold on."
"I know…I just I don't want to use Cas's money. It feels wrong."
"He gave it to you for a reason, Dean. He doesn't want to see you get hurt or killed if you miss another deadline."
Dean turned off the Impala's engine and leaned his head back against the bench. He squeezed his eyes shut.
"You're probably right." He admitted. "Fine. I'll pay him tonight."
"Swear to me," Sam said, and Dean gave him a disapproving look. "Swear on dad's grave."[G17] [G18]
"Fine. I swear on Dad's grave that I'll pay my debt to Crowley tonight."
Satisfied, Sam climbed out of the Impala. Dean followed and rested his good arm on the roof. He stared into the Kansas summer sun and after a few moments went back to work.[G19]
Five days in Windom had been just what Castiel needed. He felt refreshed and confident in a way that he hadn't in a while. His heart still ached, but it was more of a dull throb now, a manageable pain.
Gabriel had clearly made serious progress with Sam if Cas and Anna walking in on the two men sleeping on the couch was anything to go by.[G20]
Cas's final went well, and once it was completed he got a pass from Dr. Briggs to retrieve his graduation tickets.
Going to the registrar's office felt surreal; he had dreamt of this moment for so long. More than craving Dean with every fiber of his being, Cas had wanted to earn his Masters. It meant the world to him that he could finally celebrate his achievements.
Three tickets were standard, any more than that and the university charged extra. He knew the first two were for Anna and Gabriel, without question, but the third…his mind went to Dean.
No. Why would he even want to come? Surely you know someone…anyone else.
But he kept drawing up blanks as he tried to remember. He'd made a variety of friends over the years of travel, but none felt significant enough to invite to an event such as this. Not even Adam or Kate, long drive from Minnesota to Kansas aside, the only face that kept popping up in his mind was Dean's.
A warm summer breeze ruffled Cas's hair and he looked toward the sun, intense and bright. He imagined that was how Dean's soul would appear if he were able to see it.[G21]
He stared down at the ticket and decided there was no harm in trying.
"I have my tickets for graduation," Cas announced when he got home.
"Aw, that's great Cassie!" Gabriel cheered. "When's the big day?"
"May 13," Cas replied. "I think I'm going to invite Dean. I have an extra ticket."[G22] [G23]
"Are you sure?" Anna asked, after sharing a look with Gabriel.
"I want him to be there. I won't pretend that I can be friends with him, but he…he's important to me." Castiel answered.
"If you think that's best Cas," Anna said after a few minutes.
"I do." Cas nodded, and to his surprise, he felt the certainty in his chest.[G24] [G25] [G26] [G27] [G28] [G29]
"Then let's go to the Roadhouse. He's sure to be there." Gabe said.
"And Sam," Anna teased with a shoulder shove at her little brother. Gabe blushed.
"Shut up, Anna." He grumbled, and Cas smiled at his siblings, warmth blossoming from his heart outward.
To the Novaks' collective surprise, Dean was not at the Roadhouse, although Sam was. The graduation ticket seemed to burn a hole in Cas's pocket, and he tried not to let the disappointment hit him like a physical blow.
Jo, seeing the look on Cas's face, played a classic rock station on the jukebox, her eyes alight with mischief. Led Zeppelin began to echo throughout the bar, and Jess realized what she was doing immediately.
"You're a little shit," Jess told her, and Jo smirked.
"Who, me?" she asked innocently.
Jess shook her head and when she looked up again, her eyes fell on Sam and Gabriel. Gabe's hand was on Sam's elbow, and Sam had a bemused smile on his face. Something in Jess's stomach tugged, not longing, she hadn't felt that way about Sam in months, but worry. Gabe's reputation was not good, and she didn't want to see Sam get hurt.
Before she could confront either of them though, she was distracted by Garth Fitzgerald IV. He was goofy and sweet, the kind of guy that had his own way of doing things but still managed to be cool about it.
"So…Jess," Garth hedged. "Would you like too...you know...go out sometime?"
Flattered, Jess smiled widely.
"I'd like that, Garth."
Hell's Gate was a building of gray cinderblock and despair. Dean imagined it was what Hell itself would be like if such a place existed.[G30]
"Password?" One of Crowley's many goons asked Dean.
"Hellhound," Dean replied, and the guard let him pass.[G31] [G32]
"The boss is in his office." He added.
Dean shouldered his way through the rest of the people in the seedy establishment, grunting when some responded by purposefully hitting his injured arm.
"Ah, Dean," Crowley said once Dean got to his office. "I trust you have something for me?"[G33] [G34]
Dean withdrew both the check for $9,500 from his bank account the Cas's check for $500. Despite the guilt that clawed at his gut, he knew that it was better to be done with this for good.
He slid them across Crowley's desk, and Crowley appraised them both, raising them to the light to check for fraud.
"Now I want something from you," Dean said, shoving down his nervousness as he met the gaze of the King of Lawrence. "I want you and all of your associates to stay away from [G35] me and my family and friends. And the Novaks. All of them." [G36]
Crowley cocked his head. "I'm serious, Crowley. You swear on your business you leave them all alone, or I tell the cops who actually attacked me. You definitely don't want them snooping around."
"Nobility is a rare occurrence in regular people, Dean," Crowley told him. "You borrowed money from me to help your mother, and now you're asking me to stay away from those you love in order to protect them from your mistake."[G37] [G38]
Dean said nothing, just continued staring into Crowley's eyes. "Fine. I'll leave them all alone. You have my word."
"Swear it."
"Excuse me?"
"Swear it. Swear on your business that you mean it."
"Are we still in elementary school, Dean?"
Dean ignored the jab. "Fine you insufferable child. I swear on my business that I will leave you and your dear ones alone."
"Good. We're done here then."
Crowley nodded, and Dean left Hell's Gate without any problems. He walked the familiar streets of Lawrence, freer than he'd ever felt.[G39]
He went back to his apartment that night and had a Clint Eastwood movie marathon well into the night.
The next morning, while most of Lawrence was still asleep, Mary Winchester carried a bouquet of white orchids to the local cemetery, where her husband's remains lay buried under six feet of dirt and grass.
"Hi, John," Mary said, sitting down on the [G40] grave site, facing the stone.[G41]
JOHN E. WINCHESTER
Beloved Father and Husband
1954-2015
"I know I don't come to see you nearly enough," Mary began. "I'm sorry for that. For the first few months after your death, I was so angry at you. So, so angry for letting your addiction destroy us." Tears began to form at the edges of her eyes as she continued. "So angry at you for hurting Dean, for forcing him to break up with the man he loved." Mary sniffled, pausing. A few moments passed as she stared at the letters that spelled John's name. "But I eventually learned that anger is a waste of energy. I let myself grieve, and while I will never stop loving you, I've stopped hating you. You were a good man, one with a kind and gentle heart."
Tears fell down her cheeks in rivers as she pressed a kiss to her shaking fingertips. The stone was cold and slightly damp to the touch, and she let a sob come out. "Thank you. Thank you for loving me, for giving me the boys. Thank you…I love you."
Mary stood and the petals of the orchids shifted slightly with the summer air. She looked up at the sun and smiled.
A/N: Don't ask me where Jess/Garth came from. It made sense for the narrative, okay?!
-coughs- Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this slightly filler-y chapter. The next few will be chock full of plot, Destiel, Sabriel, and just lovely Supernatural goodness. Hope you guys enjoyed!
Please comment/review/leave kudos!
-Charmy
