When They Think of Me (They Think of You)
By: TheFifthCharmedOne
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Supernatural is just a show that made me catch feelings.
Summary: 1,460 days later and Cas still has feelings for Dean. He's tried to date other people, many others, but none of them have ever made him feel the way Dean did. When his sister convinces him to move back to Lawrence, he never expects to see Dean again. He is sorely mistaken. Contains UST (lots of it) and man-pain. Also, Sabriel, and Charlie/Anna.
Chapter Eight: Marked Men
For as long as Castiel could remember, he'd loved to draw.
He knew that it had developed from a hobby into a passion at one point or another, so much so that he'd mastered drawing while riding in the car, a feat of its own. At one point, he'd even considered following Anna's path and getting his degree in that field.
However, he felt just as fascinated by psychology as he did by art, so he settled for his minors and keeping his pastime to himself.
Looking through his sketchbook now, he could almost see the chapters in his life like one of his favorite novels. The start of the book was filled with somewhat mediocre drawings of his brothers and sister, and there was even one of his parents, but as he got older he would draw some of his favorite places they'd been too.
Las Vegas had been fun, especially once they were all of age. Then New York, Orlando, Austin, Milwaukee, Los Angeles, Seattle, Albuquerque, Kansas City…
Then, finally, Lawrence.
His first drawing in the small town had been of KU's logo, and around it, he had doodled various college-related things.
Then, once he met and began dating Dean, a new chapter unfolded.
The drawings focused on Dean from there on out, either on the man himself or on things that he liked. He found one drawing of the Impala that he was sure Dean would love, had he ever had the courage to show him his drawings.
He'd thought about it hundreds, probably thousands of times, but had never done so. Maybe it was because it represented a part of his heart that he hadn't wanted to open to Dean? He didn't know.
Castiel came to one picture in particular, and his heart stopped.
His most treasured piece: a drawing of Dean, with hedgehog sleep hair and a bare chest. He'd completed the drawing about a month after the first time they made love and had added to it multiple times over the months that followed.
The bitter part of him said he should have thrown it out as carelessly as Dean had thrown away his heart, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. That drawing was a symbol of their relationship; the happiness and peace that they brought each other.
It didn't matter that it had ended, or why, truthfully. What mattered was how strongly they'd felt about each other, and as far as Castiel was concerned, still did.
The heartsick part of him wondered though…had Dean's feelings changed?
Dean startled awake, knocking his empty soda can over in the process. 554 days sober, another day, another victory.
He sat up with a groan, his bones creaking from sleeping on his lumpy couch all night, but the DVD menu for The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly was a welcome comfort.
That's when he realized; he no longer had a $10,000 debt hanging over him. It had taken two damn years, but he'd finally paid the bastard off. Part of him worried that Crowley wouldn't keep his word, that someone close to him could end up hurt (or worse), but he forced that thought down. Crowley had no reason to do that, he'd gotten his money.
Dean breathed in deeply through his nose, shifted his injured arm, and decided he was in need of a shower.
He ambled up the steps of his apartment and went straight to the bathroom. After relieving himself, brushing his teeth, and splashing cold water on his face, he stripped naked.
As he was about to get into the shower, his shoulder came into view and he was hit with another flashback of Cas.
"Faster, please, Dean I need you…" Cas moaned as Dean began to pick up the base, his member fully inside Castiel's entrance…
Blinking, Dean gripped the side of the counter and realized with some surprise that he was hard, achingly so.
"Fuck," he grunted, and he climbed into the shower, intending to ignore his arousal. He went about his normal showering routine, and after a few minutes, he noticed that he was still hard.
With a sigh, he decided that it had been too long since he'd jerked off anyway, and this was as good a time as any.
He started slow, but because he'd been so turned on, he came embarrassingly fast, whispering Cas's name.
No one had to know the last part.
"For me, Jo. Just give KU a chance." Her mother had told her wearily. "Sending in the calvary was a low blow, by the way."
"I didn't send him in, he offered," Jo replied, raising her hands in mock defense.
"Either way, give your mother some peace of mind." Bobby cut in, resting his hand on the small of Ellen's back. Ellen smiled lovingly at her husband.
Jo tried not to grimace – they were so in love it was sometimes gross to watch.
"Fine." Jo acquiesced.
"I don't understand why you're so worried," Jo was saying to Jess as they walked through KU's campus. Jess was in her junior year, studying pre-law, and on her way to a final exam when she ran into Jo, who was there to submit an application, despite her desire to go somewhere else.
"I'm worried because Sam is…well, he's not innocent, but he likes to see the best in people. He's one of my best friends, Jo, I don't want him to get hurt."
"I already threatened Gabriel's family jewels if he tries anything," Jo answered.
Jess snickered, but her smile quickly disappeared.
"I just…I want him to be happy, I do. That's part of the reason I ended our engagement because we weren't truly happy with each other. I'm just not sure Gabriel is the person for that happiness."
"You're making it sound like they're going to get married or something." Jo scoffed. "Sam's too reasonable for that, even if Gabriel tried to drunkenly whisk him off to Vegas or something."
Jess sighed and they stopped walking in front of the building for her final.
"I'll see you at work, Jo," Jess said, and with a wave, they parted ways.
Later that night, Sam was listening to his Beatles playlist when Jess walked in. He had a wide smile on his face, the kind that he used to direct at her. Instantly, Jess knew that he was thinking of Gabriel, and her heart hurt at the thought.
"Sam," Jess said, and Sam turned to her. His smile disappeared when he saw the look on her face. "Are you going to see Gabriel tonight?"
"He invited me for drinks at the Roadhouse….why?" Sam asked cautiously.
Jess shrugged helplessly.
"I'm worried about you," Jess told him. "Gabriel's a player. You don't want to know what the customers have told me about him."
"No, I don't," Sam told her. "Because it doesn't matter. Gabe cares about me."
"Are you sure?" Jess asked him, and Sam's eyes flashed.
"Why do you even care, Jess?" Sam demanded, voice rising angrily.
"Oh, I don't know, because you're one of my best friends and I don't want you to get your heart broken?!" Jess shouted back.
"Again, you mean," Sam said nastily. Jess recoiled like he had slapped her.
Silence fell over them, and Sam's anger faded into guilt.
"J, I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have said that."
"You're right, you shouldn't have," Jess told him quietly. "I'll find my own way to work. You go without me."
"Like hell," Sam told her, and Jess stormed toward him. "I'm not going to let a stupid argument get between us. I'm giving you a ride whether you like it or not."
Jess glared at him, eyes narrowed and mouth set in a frown. "Be ready in twenty minutes." He added.
Jess's nostrils flared, but instead of continuing their argument she stomped up the steps to her room and slammed the door.
Sam collapsed back onto the couch and felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
Gabe
Excited to see you, Samsquatch. ;)
Despite himself, Sam couldn't help but smile. Then his stomach twisted anxiously – what if Jess was right and Gabe was just playing him?
He decided right then and there that he would find out once and for all.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to anyone, a yellow Volkswagen bug rolled into Lawrence, coming to a stop outside the Roadhouse. The backseat had one duffle bag, while the front had a laptop bag and not much else.
The driver tipped her head back as she swallowed down the last of her gas station coffee, her red hair curly and cut in line with her jaw. She wore a maroon tank top and dark blue plaid shirt on top of it, her jeans ripped in places and brown boots scuffed with use.
Charlie Bradbury released a short sigh, and climbed out of her car, closing the door and heading into Harvelle's Roadhouse.
She approached a pretty blonde waitress and leaned her arms against the bar.
"Are you guys hiring?" she asked, and the girl looked her up and down before calling back to the kitchen.
Charlie smiled and leaned back, surveying the crowd. Her eyes fell onto a head of shoulder-length brown hair and her heart leaped.
If Sam was here that meant Dean wasn't far away. She'd finally found them.
Sam couldn't help but be nervous, he'd never been on a date with another man before and wasn't sure how to act. Gabe brought them two tall glasses of beer and Sam took a long swig of his, nerves singing in his veins.
"Thirsty there, Sam?" Gabe asked.
"Uh, yeah. Should probably have some water." Sam answered, his voice only wavering slightly. He wouldn't meet Gabriel's gaze, instead focusing on the bargoers around him.
"Are you nervous, Sammich?" Gabriel asked him, and Sam's spine straightened. He turned back to the other man, only to see him smiling gently. Sam's heart did a little flip at the sight. "Nothing to be nervous about. I like you just the way you are."
Sam swallowed hard and tried to force himself to calm down and enjoy. He couldn't help but wonder, though, if any of Gabriel's previous conquests were here tonight.
After their date was over, a part of Sam was hoping – expecting – for Gabriel to kiss him. He had stared at Sam's lips enough for Sam to know he wanted it, but his question was whether he would take it.
"This was fun, Sam," Gabriel told him. "We should do it again."
"Definitely." Gabriel brightened at Sam's affirmation, and Sam's heart swelled. In that moment, Sam decided that Jess's concerns weren't important. She was just looking out for him, which he appreciated, but felt wasn't necessary.
With that in mind, Sam started to lean in to kiss Gabriel, but the shorter man held up a hand.
"Another time, for sure. But I don't kiss and tell." Gabe said, and with a final smirk, left Sam disappointed in front of his apartment door.
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM WINCHESTER! Also, raise your wands for those lost in the Battle of Hogwarts.
Anyway, sorry that this chap took longer than the rest, and that it's another filler, but I swear to you things get real in the next few chapters because we're getting close to the climax.
Please comment/review/leave kudos!
-Charmy
