When They Think of Me (They Think of You)

By: TheFifthCharmedOne

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Supernatural is just a show that made me catch feelings.

Summary: 1,460 days later and Cas still has feelings for Dean. He's tried to date other people, many others, but none of them have ever made him feel the way Dean did. When his sister convinces him to move back to Lawrence, he never expects to see Dean again. He is sorely mistaken. Contains UST (lots of it) and man-pain. Also, Sabriel, and Charlie/Anna.

Chapter Nine: A Profound Bond

"So what makes you think you've got what it takes to work in a bar?" The pretty blonde asked Charlie. The latter shrugged.

"Can't be that hard, can it?" Charlie answered with a question. "Be nice, serve alcohol and food, make the men drool, and earn some cash along the way."

The blonde leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Charlie appraisingly.

"I can't help but feel like I've met you somewhere before. I'm Jo, by the way."

"Can't say I've had the pleasure," Charlie said around the baseball-sized lump in her throat. "Charlie." She offered as an introduction.

Jo opened her mouth to say something in response, but Ellen interrupted. She was holding Charlie's application.

"Miss Bradbury, can I talk to you in private?" Ellen asked her, and Charlie's heart joined the lump in her throat.

"As long as you call me Charlie." She quipped nervously. Ellen didn't smile.

Back in Ellen's office, the bar owner turned her computer to face Charlie, and the redhead swallowed hard.

Her police record.

"Your real name is Celeste Middleton," Ellen stated. "And you're wanted in Wichita for computer hacking and other associated crimes."

Charlie said nothing, her face betraying her guilt. "Legally, I'm obligated to turn you over to the police." Charlie paled, thinking of her mother in the Wichita hospital. "But I'm not going to do that."

"W-What?" Charlie stammered, hope blooming across her face.

"Your name is Charlie Bradbury as far as I'm concerned," Ellen said with a shrug. "But no more lies." She added sternly.

A strong urge to hug this woman overcame Charlie, but she squashed it down; Ellen didn't seem like the hugging type.

"So do I have the job?" she hesitantly asked.

"Can you start tonight?"

Singer Auto smelled like gasoline, leather, and sweat. Charlie pulled up and shoved down her nervousness. It was just Dean.

Just her best friend.

Just the man she considered her brother.

Just the man she had left behind with no explanation.

He was leaned over a car's engine when she tapped him on the shoulder.

"I'm workin' as fast as I can-" he started to say, before turning around and seeing her. "Cel?"

Tears forced their way into Charlie's eyes, and she blinked them back.

"It's Charlie now, Dean-o." Charlie punched his bicep and grimaced slightly at the hard muscle that rebounded her fist.

Dean grinned widely and pulled her into a tight hug. Charlie pressed her nose into his shoulder and let herself breathe him in, breathe in the brotherly affection and safety that he represented. The childhood that she had treasured in her years on the run – the childhood that had ended with her father's life when she was twelve years old.

Dean must have seen something or someone over Charlie's head because his entire body stiffened. Charlie felt his heart rate pick up and looked up at him in confusion and concern.

"Cas, wait!" Dean gently pushed Charlie aside. Dean's hand was outstretched, and he raised it slowly, the fingers shaking as the other man walked further and further away. The risen hand dropped suddenly and Dean swore in frustration.

Dean turned and faced an intrigued Charlie.

"I don't want to talk about it," Dean said gruffly.

"Skeletons in the closet. I get that." Charlie said kindly, and Dean was grateful for her understanding.

Castiel had never felt a pain so acute and wrenching as the ache that shot through him when he saw the redhead in Dean's arms.

"Cas, wait!"

He couldn't, couldn't be there another second.

He was so incredibly stupid.

How could he even hope that Dean was available? Four years was too long for Dean to stay celibate, even if Cas had.

He told you he was gay – why would he lie?

We were stupid college kids, just because I knew my sexuality doesn't mean he was certain of his.

He came home to an empty apartment and sank down on the couch, breathing heavily.

He had just gone to Singer Auto to invite Dean to his graduation – how could he be so foolish?

He leaned back and turned on the TV – and groaned. Disney's Hercules was playing on Gabriel's favorite channel, and it was the scene where Meg confessed her feelings for Herc as she lay dying.

"People always do crazy things-" she grunted in pain. "When they're in love."

He flicked the television off as Hercules stammered in response to her proclamation.

He stood up and decided that his last graduation ticket would go unused. Perhaps he could sell it to one of his classmates.

"Cas, wait!"

Dean's voice had sounded so…distraught. So desperate.

Cas sighed.

"Never fall in love, Castiel." Michael had said once.

If only he had listened.

Later, Charlie had her first shift at the Roadhouse and used it as a chance to catch up with Sam.

"So Stanford, huh? Impressive!" Charlie congratulated, and Sam chuckled bashfully.

"Don't be modest Samalam!" Gabriel crowed, and Sam's face turned red. "A full ride to one of the Ivy's is something to be proud of!"

"But I had to give it up when my dad died." Sam continued the story he had been telling Charlie. "Mom and Dean needed me."

Charlie's heart broke at the disappointment in Sam's voice – that was the Winchester way, though, sacrifice everything for the family.

Moonlight suddenly pooled nearby, the door to the Roadhouse opening with a bang.

A gorgeous redhead came waltzing in, accompanied by the man that had run away from Dean earlier in the day.

Charlie was entranced by her. A petite form, curved in all the right places, and a perfect butt to boot.

"That's Anna, Gabe and Cas's big sister," Sam informed Charlie, who nodded distantly.

Meanwhile, Dean nursed his Coke and Red Bull, throwing his own private pity party; one that Jo strongly discouraged.

"Just fucking talk to him already. My god." Jo said in annoyance, throwing up her hands.

In that moment, Dean wasn't sure whether it was Jo's frustration or his own, but determination filled him the same way alcohol used too. He stood up without a word and approached Cas and Anna, who'd taken a seat a few tables away.

"Cas."

The aforementioned man's shoulders crumpled inward, but Dean pressed on. "Can I talk to you? Alone?" Dean asked though it sounded more like a demand.

"$20 says they bang in the alley," Gabe said in Sam's ear, and Sam shivered before comprehending the words.

"Gross!" Sam complained. He could hear Gabe's smirk and resisted the urge to throw him a bitchface. "$30 says he doesn't go home tonight though."

Gabe's smirk became a grin.

"You're on."

The alley is dark and humidity permeated the air, but nothing could pierce the bubble of tension around the two men as Dean boxed Castiel against the wall.

Barely a sliver of light passed between their faces, their lips parted as long-repressed desire dilated their pupils. Dean knows he could kiss Cas right now, and as much as he ached to do just that, he had a more pressing matter to deal with.

Cas, for his part, can hardly catch his breath and his heart is staging a mutiny in his chest, his entire body seizing when he looks into those gold-flecked green eyes.

The eyes that have haunted his dreams and fantasies for years.

The eyes that belong to the man he had never stopped loving, no matter how much he'd tried.

"What do you want from me, Dean?" Cas asked, looking down and clenching his fingers into fists. Everything in his posture was submissive, while Dean was the dominant figure. This was how it had always been, Cas the inexperienced prude and Dean the over-experienced player.

"Now that's a loaded question if I ever heard one." Dean chuckled, the tenor of his voice sending fire straight to Cas's loins. "Are you jealous of Charlie?"

Cas shook his head, still not meeting Dean's eyes as he tried to return to the safety of the bar.

Dean grabbed his arm and boxed him in again before he could. "One, she's like my sister. Two, she's gay. Three, we broke up four years ago so why does it matter to you, even if I was remotely interested in her or anyone else?"

"You don't have to tell me when we broke up Dean," Cas said. "It's been 1,657 days."

Dean licked his lips as shock crossed his expression. Cas's eyes tracked the movement against his will.

"You counted?"

Cas felt all the fire of arousal morph into flames of mortification as his face burned bright red. He bowed his head down, certain that he was glowing in his humiliation.

Dean curled a finger and bumped Cas's chin up so he had no choice but to look at him. "That's adorable." His voice has returned to that low and dangerous tone, the one that made Cas's blood sing.

Dean kisses him hard, Cas's chapped lips and scratchy scruff meeting Dean's smooth mouth and face.

"Dean-" Cas tried to protest as Dean kissed along his jaw and neck, nipping and licking and – God he had missed this. Missed him.

Against his better judgment, Cas melted into him, moaning when Dean's sinful mouth met the juncture of his ear and jawline.

"Taste so good baby," Dean groaned, and Cas whimpered. "Never stopped wanting you." He admitted as he kissed Cas's forehead, nose, and then his gaze lingered on the brunette's pink and swollen lips.

Cas swallowed hard, arousal tight in his jeans and eyes wild as he took Dean in.

He knew it made him a coward, but he scampered away, back to the bar.

Dean let him, leaning against the wall he had just had Cas pinned too. It was still warm, and Dean smiled.

Maybe I have a chance with him after all.

Anna and Gabriel shot up in concern when Cas came back inside, unbalanced and thoroughly debauched.

"I'm fine," Cas gasped to them both. "I'm going home."

"Cas-" Anna started, her tone worried, but Cas didn't answer as he stumbled out the door like a drunk.

Charlie watched the two Novaks slowly settle back down, Gabe's face pinched and serious and Anna's furrowed and confused.

Dean eventually came back inside the bar, but neither Novak sibling approached him. Dean, however, grabbed his brother's shoulder and shoved him toward the alcove that led to the bathroom, presumably to talk in private, and Charlie crept toward them.

"-you kissed Cas?!" Sam cried.

"More like fucking assaulted him." Dean's self-loathing shot an arrow through Charlie's stomach. "God, no wonder he left."

"From what Gabe has told me, Dean," Sam paused, clearly indecisive. "Cas still has feelings for you. Strong ones. Maybe the depth of those feelings scared him?"

"Or he might have just been scared of me," Dean said darkly. "God I'm such a fucking waste."

"Dean-"

"Forget it, Sammy. I'm going to a meeting."

Dean stomped away from Sam, and Charlie hurried to look busy. Everyone in the bar heard Baby 2 roar to life – Dean apparently didn't care about his still broken arm – and disappear down the road.

A/N: So…uhm. Yeah. First time writing smutty stuff with these two, hope I did them justice. I swear it'll be less angsty soon. I mean we only have three chapters left so I better get resolving haha.

Anyway, please review/comment/leave kudos!

-Charmy