Chapter 4

Squall slammed the paper down onto his desk groaning frustratedly.
Leave it to C. Slander to spread rumors off his failed relationship all over the continent, all the way to Esthar even, considering the several missed calls from President Loire.
Hesitantly, Squall took another look at the front page of the DD 'Magic run out'.
He had finally been able to make his friends shut up about the whole thing, had Rinoa ultimately move out of Garden for real the day before yesterday and now this.
How did she even find out? What should he do now? These articles about his private life – or rather about this made up, teeny pop star life, he supposedly seemed to lead in public eyes – were slowly starting to destroy Squall's reputation with his affiliates. He also had to prepare the upcoming SEED exams but was not able find a suitable setting. Lately fewer minor missions had been commissioned and he could not and certainly would not send his newbies into actual battle fields, some of them where so young still as many children had wanted to start education at Garden after the second war.
Squall stared at the huge grandfather clock in the far right corner, Shiva seemed to stare back at him reproachfully. He gulped, these carvings had always seemed rather lively to him even as a kid. He remembered now, how he used to seek out this clock, sit in front of it and talk to the magnificently carved Guardian Forces even. Why not try it? He mused, it had once before helped him through desperate times after all and also he was alone, it was not as if anyone would witness his moment of mental alienation.
"So where to start", he mumbled, scratching his scar. "Well, the exams might be more important, but this journalist is bothering me more.", he started, averting Shivas still reproachful eyes and talking to Ifrit instead, who seemed to be more open for his earthly struggles.
"It's just that she makes me look like a stupid little boy who got bored of his toy and tossed it without thinking twice about it. The others think so too, they feel sad for Rinoa and believe that I've acted out on a whim and shouldn't be so selfish.", Squalls fists were clenched, his voice hollow as he talked about it, after all this was the first time he ever voiced his apprehensions concerning his friends aloud. "And Lo- La-", he stocked, Squall did not even know how to call that man in a monologue, while the other tried to talk family on the phone. "Laguna, he acts as though I ought to tell him everything that happens in my life the moment it happens. He acts as though we have a, I don't now, bond or something. That as his... well he wants to be part of my life but I don't know how to do that and if I even want that just like that.", he snapped his fingers, then stared at Leviathan for a while, tracing his scales and sinking into thoughts until he snapped out of it again, regaining his composure. "Slander! She scapegoats me,she even wrote about it being mostly my fault if Rinoa goes mad and tries to conquer the world.", he smiled sheepishly at that, looking up at Siren's omniscient smile, he felt himself flush. "I know I thought so too but Seifer explained it couldn't be and I trust him.", he stopped, staring at the pendulum. "I do.", he whispered, a smile spread on his face, lightening the usually stern features, but it fell as soon as it came. "Seifer...", he looked at Shiva. "What if they pull him into the picture? His reputation barely recuperated since the war, most civilians still think he is a villain and ought to be punished by martial law.", he shook his head. "No I shouldn't waste time, thinking about this stuff I have to finish the planning for the exam!", he took a last glance at Shiva and could swear her smile was more prominent than before, he shook his head once again. Mental alienation as he had predicted.
He tried not to ponder however, how good he felt, after finally having voiced what was weighing him down, for once. Maybe he'd find a solution for the exam dilemma now.

"Squall. Hey wait for me.", he turned around and only barely avoided collision with Selphie, who grinned at him.
"What's up boss-man?", she asked cheerfully, though Squall somehow sensed she had not come running after him for small talk.
"Not much I guess, been working on the practical part of the upcoming SEED exam.", he stated, resuming on his way but in a slower pace so Selphie could comfortably follow.
"Oh right it's that time of the year again. That explains why we've seen you so rarely lately.", so that is the snag.
"Irvine and I", Squall found the blush that spread on her cheeks quite adorable, "we thought maybe we'd do a little come together, as most of us are currently paused anyways. Will you come to?"
Squall thought about it for a while, he really had not seen much of his friends lately, as he had been fed up with the constant talk about Rinoa and taken to avoid them instead.
"Seifer could come to if he'd like to.", Selphie chirped.
It was Squall's turn to blush now. "Why would he?", he asked stuttering only slightly.
Selphie smiled knowingly, "Well, you two did spent a lot of time together lately and Quisty told us that you used to before everything happened too. Just an offer you know?", she added shrugging.
"Let me know if you come tomorrow at eight in Irvine's room."

"Selphie asked us to come to a gathering tomorrow.", Squall told Seifer around a mouthful of whatever it was Seifer had handed him.
"Us?", Seifer asked, eying him warily.
"Well, she said you could tag along if you wanted to..", Squall mumbled, leaving out that she had mainly said so to convince himself to come.
"Mhm...will you go?", Seifer watched Squall closely, smiling at the way his bread got stuck in the paste he was supposed to spoon up.
"Probably, I mean I haven't spend much time with them lately. Selphie made that quite clear.", he added smiling,then he looked up.
"You coming along then?"
"Nope.", Seifer grinned at Squalls flustered expression.
"They're your friends I'll feel like the fifth wheel and you all will feel equally awkward cause I don't get stuff and you'll have to explain. So, lets spare us that trouble."
Squall glanced sideways at the blonde, checking his features for a hint on his mood or real intentions but couldn't find any. He knew though that this was not the real reason which bothered Seifer, the way he had talked it over quickly, was just him trying to avert something.
Squall sighed and took another piece of bread.
"What am I eating here anyways?", he asked exasperatedly, scooping what he'd just dropped onto his shirt up with his finger.
"It's called Baba Ghanoush", Seifer answered chuckling.
"Okay now I know what the food which outsmarts me is called.", he murmured, glaring at his food, before popping it into his mouth, acting as though he did not notice Seifer scooting closer.

Seifer had handed Squall a sixpack of some beer brand he did not know, still consisting that Squall better go alone.
So it was only him, who knocked on Irvines door, awkwardly clutching onto the beverages.
Zell opened the door and tuck out his head to look at the hallway.
"You didn't bring him?", Squall scowled slightly at the statement, that made it sound as though he usually brought his unbehaved dog along.
"Seifer didn't wont to come.", he simply stated while squeezing past the material artist.
Nodding at everyone else, he put the beer onto the table and settled into a chair next to Irvine.
"You do know we're not allowed to drink?", Quistis asked, eyeing the beer critically.
Squall shrugged, folding his arms over his chest. "Seifer gave it to me, couldn't have left it in the corridor now could I?"
"Lighten up 'Instructor' it's only beer, if you're looking for anything harder it's over there.", Irvine quipped smirking, pointing his thumb over his shoulder at a cabinet. Even Squall smiled at her flabbergasted expression, though he turned the beer down and stuck to water for the evening.
"Soo? Any plans for the exam yet?", Selphie asked after the most recent topics had been talked about and somewhat of an awkward silence had settled. "Only vaguely.", Squall murmured, staring at his arms, watching as goosebumps slowly rose, he should have brought his jacket, but it lay on Seifers couch how convenient, at least he would have to go back there to fetch it and spend the night there if he is there anyways.
"Earth to Commander Squally chrr do you read me?", Squall nearly jumped, had he been zoning out?
"Umm sorry didn't catch much sleep lately."
"Maybe Seifer needs a bigger bed then.", Selphie chirped grinning, earning exasperated groans from the boys.
"The exam.", Squall tried to ignore they shared glances. "Well I thought of something but it might just be stupid. See there's no suitable mission so I thought maybe we could do a sort of obstacle course with monsters, instructors, minor side missions they'll have to achieve and a fight against a couple of strong SEEDs.", he waved it off the moment he'd finished. "But it's probably stupid, it was late when I thought of it and I was reading some gaming magazine of Seifers prior to thinking of that."I think it's quite good, at least you're really testing their qualification while we were doomed to wait at that fountain back then.", Zell mused, earning nods. "We're making this good Squally, leave it to the gang.", Selphie declared before pulling a notebook and markers from under the table.


Bonus scene: Meanwhile at Seifer's

The moment he had closed the door into Squalls face, he let out the breath, he had held for to long, making his way to his couch and flopping down onto it, face first.
"How should they ever except me? It's a miracle Squall doesn't bear a grudge after everything I've done.", he screwed up his face in agony as a uncalled and unwanted stream of memories flooded his brain. Seifer took a few steadying breaths, then opened his eyes once more, little specks of light were disrupting his sight. He blinked rapidly to get rid of them, when his gaze landed on a piece of paper only barely sticking out from under the couch. He snatched it up, guessing it was something that belongs to Squall and therefore something ranging from trash to super important international politics shit. It was indeed something Squall had brought here and left on the table in clear sight, several days before.
"The SEED exam application form...", Seifer had declined every single time Squall had tried to talk him into trying again, for a last and final time. If he did not make it this time, he will never get the chance again. To prove himself to everyone else and most importantly to Squall. He gulped, this was his chance to show everyone that he had changed, to prove himself worthy, this was like Heracles labours except that he only had to deal with one task not twelve. Seifer turned onto his back and stretched, only to grab something very fluffy and very familiar. He pulled Squalls jacket to his face, the fur tickled his nose and nearly made him sneeze. "What we have know is more than I ever dared to dream of while with Ultimecia.", he told the jacket, then gazed back at the paper.
"But I want more.", he sat up and took up the form with his free hand.
Squalls jacket in his right and the form in his left, he stood up in search for a pen, which he found in the kitchen. " Uh I really have to do the dishes.", he mumbled, searching for a surface to write on and finally deciding to just use the fridge, it's surface was mostly free anyways except for an old photograph. So he hung squalls jacket over his shoulder, like a towel and leaned against his fridge.
"Done.", he grinned proudly, looking from his form to the photo of himself and his two best friends.
"I'll make it this time Fu, so you don't hit me again.", he joked, but then leaned closer to the picture, studying it concentrated. "Yeah I should do this to...", he mumbled, then returned to the living room, to retrieve his notebook from behind his couch cushions. He started it and locked into the Garden messaging system, opening the group chat with Fujin.

" How tall are you? "

" 5'9" "

"Perfect!"

" Why? "

"Meet me at the quad, I've got so much to tell you guys."
"ASAP"