THREE

When I first met Gatta, I was quite taken by his appearance. He had walked up to me in pieces of armor that I had almost mistaken for Crusader issue and a stern yet welcoming expression on his chocolate-colored face, hidden slightly behind shoulder length, deep brown hair.

One of the first small details I noticed about him were his eyes: two big, dark orbs holding the anguish of death and the passion of life, mixed with one another to create a burning desire that I found nearly impossible to turn away from.

I had never seen such a serious young man in all of my life. Even those youthful Crusaders that I had commanded in Luca, though excellent soldiers, still had a thing or two to learn in terms of discipline.

Gatta, however, had an aura of confidence about him, but not overly so. I would even go as far as saying that he held a distinct strictness about him, even to his best friend Chappu and to me, his future captain, his friend…his partner.

And I remember…he walked right in front of me. But it was in no way threatening because as soon as he stopped and I returned his gaze, he gave me a solid handshake, something else that I did not anticipate from someone who I thought would have been more inclined in the ways of Yevon.

After that simple, wordless action…I remember having respect for him almost instantly.


Luzzu and Gatta parted their hands from one another's and continued to look at each other for a moment longer.

"Hello, traveler. Where do you hail from?"

"The northern city of Luca. I just came in from the ferry about thirty minutes ago."

"Oh. From Luca you say?" Gatta's expression hardened slightly more, "Are you the new Crusader that was stationed here to replace Captain Ralfnor?" he inquired rather bluntly.

"Yes, I am. My name is Luzzu…and yours?"

"Gatta."

"Are you native to this land, Gatta?"

"Born and raised. As a matter of fact, I saw you walking here rather slowly so I just assumed that you might want a little direction." Gatta replied.

Luzzu smiled, "Thanks. I didn't think I would ever find my way around. Much of the ferry's crew is far too busy tending to the families that lost loved ones on the trip…"

"What?" Gatta interrupted, "What do you mean 'lost loved ones'? What happened?"

"Sin happened. It was just passing by…but our presence was enough for its Sinscales to react and for a low-level Sinspawn to smuggle itself on board. All of the soldiers fought bravely but only me and one other made it out alive. A soldier who survived the attack didn't make it..."

"No…" Gatta whispered, his expression transformed into sudden, fierce anger, "What about the passengers? The civilians?"

"Only one casualty amongst them. A mother of two…sacrificed her life for that of her children."

"Good gods…well, it's good to see that at least some have survived. It would be a shame if you did not arrive safely to Besaid, sir."

Luzzu looked rather oddly at Gatta for a moment. " 'Sir'? Are you a part of the Crusaders?"

Gatta suddenly looked up at Luzzu. His expression had changed from hardened anger into slight confusion as he did not realize what Luzzu meant at first. Then he understood and chuckled, placing a hand on the back of his head.

"Oh, no!" he said quickly, "I'm sorry. I guess that was just out of habit… My friends say I tend to get pretty militant when the going gets tough. And…I also used to refer to my father and Captain Ralfnor as 'sir' when I addressed them, that is, well before..."

Luzzu understood and nodded. "Well, I don't like formality from others unless they're under my command. So…try to call me Luzzu for a bit and see how that works, okay?"

Gatta's embarrassed look turned into a kind of agreeable expression and a slight smile indicated he would try.

"So, about showing me around…?"

"Oh, yes. Now…"

"GATTA!!"

Gatta turned quickly and noticed Chappu standing at the edge of the cliff above them, his face contorted in anger.

"What the hell's the big idea for letting me walk off like that, talking to myself, ya?? Why do you do always do that to me?? And who the hell's that?"

Gatta only laughed, slapping his knee as he bent over.

Luzzu did not understand, but seeing Gatta laugh like that stirred something within him that caused him to chuckle slightly before he caught a glimpse of the increasingly angry teenager above him toting a mean looking blitzball in his left hand and immediately silenced himself.

"Chappu! I think that was a new record! I've been talking to the newest Crusader for at least twelve minutes now!"


That morning, despite the attack, was probably one of the mornings in which I had genuinely felt welcome. It was as if Gatta was the all-encompassing welcome wagon and, although a bit more uptight than the rest of the natives, he knew exactly what he was talking about as he showed me around.

As we passed under the arching design of the ruins on the path to the village, I watched him more so than listened to him explaining to me the history of Besaid's people, what was like, disliked, tolerated.

I could remember the pride I saw in those passionate eyes of his as he talked of himself and his people, his friends, and what was the legacy of his family.

I even remember him warning me not to flaunt off the fact that I didn't fully believe in the teachings…


Luzzu stopped in his tracks beside a distinctively tall patch of green grass complete with beautiful red and purple wildflowers. "Well, where in Spira would you get an idea like that?" he asked as he looked at Gatta who had stopped soon after in front of him.

"Well…I know a lot of devout Yevonites and you're definitely not one of them. You shook my hand instead of doing the prayer."

Luzzu chuckled. "Well, I suppose I could get into trouble for such an omission..."

Gatta crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, it's not like I'm a true believer either. Hell, I hardly ever pray to the monument outside of the village."

"That's not something you should brag about," Chappu said as he walked past the two men, "That's gotta be some really bad mojo, ya?"

"Hmph! Like you do it every time, Chappu?"

"Uh, well…" and Chappu shook his head, frowning. "That's not the point, bro! You gotta understand that if my brother…"

"Your brother can be boar-headed sometimes, Chappu."

At that comment Chappu laughed and nodded in agreement, shifting the blitzball from left underarm to his right.

"Yeah, you know it, brudda! And stubborn as hell to boot!"

Luzzu noticed Gatta's short glance at him before he turned to face Chappu again. "In any case," he began again, "Let's get going. I want to make sure the captain here gets to the lodge so he can start organizing things."

"Right…" Chappu said and off he went, ahead of the other two. "I'll go tell the other villagers to gather 'round, ya?" he called, "They're gonna want ta meet ya', Luzzu!"

Luzzu smiled as he watched the teen run off.

"He seems like a good friend."

"Yeah, the best. He's no better than me when it comes to worshipping Yevon. We play it off all the time, making it look like some big joke. But at the same time we've got to be careful."

Luzzu nodded, noticing that Gatta's expression was no longer as hard as it was when they first met. It seemed as if the teen was warming up to him already.

"Well, shall we get going? You still have to meet the villagers."

"All right." Luzzu said and adjusted the bag on his shoulders and began to follow once again down the gravel road toward the distant village below.

"So how long have you been a Crusader, s—Luzzu?"

"Hmm…I'm twenty-six now…12 years about a couple of months ago."

"Ten?" Gatta exclaimed, "Wow, you've probably seen a lot, haven't you? I could never imagine…"

"You…don't want to imagine. Trust me. I've seen many things that people never want to experience…ever."

"Oh…so…you were fourteen, huh? That's kind of young to be joining the Crusaders. Didn't your parents have a say in anything?"

"By that time I didn't have any parents…" Luzzu responded quietly.

"Oh…" Gatta repeated for a second time. He cursed himself for being so insensitive, asking so many blatantly foolish questions of a man who was obviously battle weary and grief-ridden from all of his years in service.

Luzzu noticed the sudden ceasing of the wave of questioning from Gatta and looked up to find the teen frowning. Luzzu only laughed.

"My goodness. You are one very serious young man."

"Huh?"

"Quick to a fault, especially when it's your own."

"I'm sorry. I was insensitive. I have no business asking you so many personal questions," Gatta replied quickly.

"Don't worry about it, Gatta." Luzzu replied and took his free hand through his spiked hair, wiping a light glaze of sweat away from his scalp, "Though the memories are still there…better to talk about it than to keep it pent up inside, eh?"

Gatta noticed the older man was smiling at him as he looked ahead toward the village once again. It was something about that smile that Gatta could appreciate and respect at the same time. This man was unlike Ralfnor: he had a way about him that commanded respect, yes, but it wasn't forceful or demanding.

This man was calm, collected, and seemingly carefree all of the time, traits that neither his father nor Ralfnor shared, and traits that both irritated and intrigued Gatta all at once.

"I guess you're right." Gatta finished as he and the Crusader stopped at the stonewall entrance of the village.

The crowd of people in the distance soon turned and noticed that the man of the hour had arrived and eagerly approached him to greet him and give him their good graces, much to the discomfort of Luzzu who saw Gatta walking away, turning his head around to face him one more time before joining Chappu who already begun walking toward the Besaid temple.


That day and that evening went by pretty fast after my initial meeting with Gatta. He was one of the few people that I had originally written off as just another villager, a kid that I would not see anymore as he would soon be old enough to go out on his own and start his own life somewhere far away from this little island.

Despite his passionate description of his homeland, I thought I had his number. I thought he was just another one of the countless other men from the Southern Isles who had, over the generations, left their simple roots to places like St. Bevelle and Luca to become merchants, raking up their own personal fortunes and never returning to the places that they had once called home.

I thought that I would never see him again and though I did not consider it a big loss, I was kind of disappointed. Not because I thought he had what it took to become a Crusader or anything.

No. It was on a more personal level.

I was disappointed…because I thought I would never see those burning eyes ever again.


Luzzu stood at the doorway of the light blue Crusaders' lodge and saluted the male sentry before entering.

"Rest well, sir."

"Don't you worry, I will."

The men chuckled and Luzzu passed beyond the number of cloths that served as a doorway for the lodge. Inside, most of the soldiers were either asleep or talking quietly by candlelight in their respective cots, some seeming to discuss the events of the day and early evening, others seeming to speak of more interesting things.

Not that the day itself was not interesting. As soon as Luzzu placed his belongings in front of his designated cot, he almost immediately began to organize the Crusaders, giving sharp but respectful commands for various missions such as scouting the island for wily fiends, guarding the village, and helping the ferryboat crew unload the remaining bodies of the dead, help them wrap them in ceremonial "sea coffins", and finally help with the cleanup of the ship's deck.

Before the day was over, Luzzu had made it his personal mission to greet the husband, also a Crusader, and children of the woman who he felt guilty for not being able to save.

As Luzzu slowly entered the tent-like hut, the two children almost instantly recognized the red-haired Crusader and exclaimed to their father that that was the man that killed the Sinscales.

And before Luzzu could react to what was going on, the father's brawny arms were around his frame, embracing him tightly with the man saying "Thank you! Bless you!" over and over again until Luzzu had to gently push the giant away from him.

The Crusader had tried to apologize for not being there sooner, but the father's response silenced him.

"The fact is that you were there and that you helped save my children. My wife is probably blessing you in the Farplane as we speak."

And the father was probably right because, not long afterwards, Luzzu had walked onto the beach to watch as a summoner all the way from Bevelle performed the last of the sendings, dancing magnificently across the noon-colored water, the salt of the sea spraying around him as his ceremonial blue robes flowed about with his graceful movements.

And then a wave of multi-colored pyreflies burst around him in all directions, small cries of freedom emitting from the streams of souls as they flew into the air and soon away from the island to eventually disappear into the horizon for their final destination in the Farplane.

"It's so beautiful…and so sad at the same time."

Luzzu turned around to find Gatta not so far behind him, looking at the spectacle at the sea, watching solemnly as the summoner drifted back down to the waters, walking across the waves until he returned onto the sands of the beach.

"Yes…it is."

Gatta shut his eyes for a moment and turned his head, opening them to look at Luzzu. He made a short smile and walked over to the man, stopping a few feet beside him but still facing the sea.

Luzzu looked at Gatta, the man's brown skin shaded brilliantly in the sunset oranges and yellows.

"…I guess it is good to know that they are going to a better place."

After some time of staring, Luzzu turned away to look out at the sea as well.

"A place far better than this life with Sin. I always feel that my father…my mother… they're all so much better off dead than stuck being alive in this hell of a world like me."

Luzzu instantly turned his head to look at the young man at his side. "What?"

Gatta turned to face Luzzu, his smile replaced with a serious expression. "Don't you think…it's just better off being dead? I mean this life…if that's what you want to call it…is filled with nothing but death. The dead are set free as soon as they are sent but you and me…well, we stay behind, grieving for their passing, stuck in a world with an abomination that knows no sympathy and kills on a mere whim."

Luzzu couldn't believe his ears. A young man of Gatta's age contemplating death?

"Gatta, do you realizing what you are saying?"

Gatta turned away slightly but not enough to totally lose Luzzu's sight.

"You're a young man and you stand here next to me speaking as if death is the only way out? Have you no shame?"

Gatta looked back up at the older man quickly, his face in shock. "But…"

"Listen to me," Luzzu interrupted sternly, forcing Gatta into a quick silence.

"I won't allow you talk about life this way. Yes, this is a hell of a way to live, I agree. And maybe those who have left for the Farplane tonight are amongst the lucky ones who will never have to see Sin again, but what about their families? What about their friends? What about their longing to see and experience the Calm to end all Calms…the Calm that will last forever? Don't you find that in the least bit saddening to know that those people who have died will never experience those joys and that hope again?"

Gatta's gaze, still locked on Luzzu, slowly drifted to the ground, his head held in shame.

"I-I'm sorry, s—Luzzu."

"Don't be sorry. Just…be thankful. Thankful that you can still take in this air and see the things you see and know that you're alive for as long as you want to be. Ultimately, it is we as a people who either maintain hope for life…or submit to despair. So don't go contemplating death too much just because of something like this…you already know. It gets easier."

Gatta nodded and raised his head to face Luzzu once again.

Luzzu smiled, noticing that the passion for life that was lost for just a moment had returned, renewed and stronger than ever. He stepped closer to the younger man and gave him a pat on the shoulder, walking past him as he made his way back to the village.

Gatta smiled, a feeling of warmth inside his heart growing from within as he felt Luzzu's strong hand on his shoulder.

As he listened to the fading footsteps of the older man, he stood and watched as the last of the pyreflies faded into the darkening sky across the horizon.


…Life. Hope. A horrible joke…