Introduction:

She looked out the window as the rain gently fell outside. So gloomy, kind of like she was feeling at the moment. All the loss and the heartbreak she had felt was all rushing back to her. she thought she had forgot it after so many nights alone, she had become rather accustomed to it. She smiled lightly at some of her memories, as others broke her completly. By this time in the afternoon she was crying uncontrollably, atleast nobody could see her. She walked over to the album she had refused to open for the past 5 years. She opened it slowly and there it was. She sitting on his lap on their first real date, and the many pictues to follow of their dates and happy moments while they were dating. She reached the picture where she looked as if nothing could go wrong, her happily smiling into the camera showing off her engagement ring. Her in a beautiful wedding gown. She looked through every picture of her smiling and shut the album closed and sighed. On the front and ran her fingers against the raised lettering. Jude and Tommy Quincy. She read it and the tears started to run down her cheeks again. How could everything go wrong, how could he be gone from her life. She sighed and glanced at the other pictures in another album. She read aloud the title on the front of the little pink book Mikayla Destini Quincy.

She looked it over all of the happy moments that they had with their first and only child. Now here she was alone crying silently. The only night she truly had to herself to cry.

She heard the phone ring. oh god, who the hell is that? She thought to herself. She looked over at the phone at the name that was read across it. Tommy. "Oh god, i can't do this right now. She slowly walked over to the phone before she answered.

"Hello" she spoke softly. "MOM?" She heard the girls voice. She sighed a little relieved. " hey baby, whats up?" "well Dad is making me go to bed, but i wanted to say goodnight before i did" She smiled lightly at the sincerity in her daughters voice. " alright, well i love you mikay, Ill see you in the morning."

She layed the phone down. Tomarrow her daughter would be back in her arms. Tomarrow her daughter would be where she belonged, then she could forget about him, she could forget about her pain and her love. Atleast tomarrow she had one thing she needed back.

The next morning Jude woke up, feeling her tear stained face. She got up slowly and went to get in the shower. She wouldn't let him see her like this. Even if it was for a couple of seconds, he had spent last night happy, and she wouldn't let him see that she had spent hers crying over him. She got dressed and put her makeup and did her hair. She looked into the mirror satisfied with how she looked. She walked over to the door and looked out as she seen his car pulling into her driveway. She walked out to help mikayla get her bags out of his viper. She felt relief as her daughter ran into her arms. "Mom, I missed you." Mikayla spoke excitedly. She smiled at her beaming daughter who was now 10 years old. She chuckled lightly. " Did you have fun" She said brightly as she looked from her daughter to tommy and back again. He daughter went on and on about how fun she had at her dads. Jude grabbed as many of the bags as she could. "Jude" She heard behind her. She put on her best face and turned towards her husband. "yes?" She said. "Can we talk" He said to her lightly. She felt the shiver across her spine as he spoke to her, but she knew that if she talked to him, that she'd have to deal with all of the pain from last night, she wasn't ready for this. "Can we do it later, Ive got to help her unpack and then Ive got some errands to run" She said to him, hoping he'd just get back into his car, that by now he was leaned up against, and just drive away.

"If you have stuff to do, I could take Mikayla out to lunch, then we can talk" He said trying to urge a yes out of her. She looked into his hopeful eyes. There was no way she was going to let him do this to her. She thought for a second, and then spoke once agian. "Sorry, no can do, Mikayla has plans with her friends, and I have tons of work to do, Another time? " She seen his anger rise as she said the same thing he had obviously heard a million times. "Alright fine, but eventually your going to have to talk to me" He said as he got into his car and drove off.

She felt relieved, now that he was gone, she could breathe again.

"Mom, why wouldn't you talk to him?" Mikayla asked silently. She looked into her mothers eyes. She noticed the redness, that she seen so many times. She wished that a talk could urge her parents to quit their foolishness and get back together. The memories she did have of when her parents were together were so complicated. She remembered how much they loved eachother from her first memories, and even though they were very few, she missed them. She faintly remembered when it all started to fall apart, she was almost 5, and now 5 years later although the fighting had stopped, they never spoke. The only words they exchanged were those when one or the other dropped her off or picked her up. She wished so much that one of her parents would find the strength to remember why they loved eachother so much, before it was too late.

"I just didn't have the time sweetie" she spoke to her daughter. "and why not, I don't have plans today, I'm spending the day with you, we both know that I'm not aloud to go to kaylie's house the day i get back, im not staying there until tomarrow night, so you aren't working, and you have plenty of time to talk to dad" Her daughter spoke back with hopefull eyes. " Honey, I just can't today, I'll talk to him next time okay" She said hoping Mikayla would leave it alone for now.

Mikayla knew when to shut up, so she just sighed and walked upstairs. She wanted so badly to tell her mom everything that had happened, because although she put up a good front for her parents, this weekend had been a completle terror. It happened the same every year, She went to her dads for what should be their anniversery. Mom as she could tell by the phonecall she made, would sit at home crying, and dad would spend the entire weekend taking her out , until that night fell upon him and he would go up in his room and sing. He recognized the song as the one that her mom had sang to her dad on the wedding video. The video she had hidden away in the back of her closet.

She heard her mom coming up the stairs and looked up as she heard the door open.

"Mikayla, I know your upset right now, but I wish you would understand, I know you have your hopes and dreams about me and your father, but you know that we arent getting back together right?" Jude spoke to her daughter , helplessly trying to make her understand.

"Mom?" "Yes Baby" "Do you still love dad?" The room grew completly silent.

"You say it's over, that you can't ever imagine you two getting back together, but what I dont get is if you two are so happy being apart, then why after all this time, are you still married" She asked, she knew that the answer she would receive wouldn't help her to understand how her parents could not be together, but still be married.

Jude sat and stared at her daughter wanting so badly to have an answer for her, but she didn't.

"Nevermind mom, I know I Shouldnt ask you that, I'll just get back to unpacking" She said to her mom.

When jude left the room, Mikayla sighted. This was ridiculous. Nobody ever answered that question, She had asked that question to everyone she had thought to ask. When she asked her mom she grew silent, when she asked her dad he would say "honey, thats between me and your mom", when she asked Sadie, Kwest, or Jamie...they all started to laugh as say that they had no clue. She couldn't figure it out. Something had to give. If it was too late to save her parents marriage then why werent they divorced, they had been seperated for a while. They hadn't even lived in the same house in 3 years, and the 2 before that they were either fighting or not talking at all.

Jude sat on the couch replaying the words her daughter had said to her. "If your both so happy being apart, why are you still married" The haunting words that she couldn't bare. She wasn't happy by any means, but she knew that if Mikayla was saying such things that it was becoming too much for her child. It also meant that Tommy was happy and that alone she couldn't bare. She knew that he wanted to talk to her, and every time he tried his urgency became more and more. She knew what it was about and she hated it. He wanted to mention the words that she had been avoiding for years. Divorce. She couldn't take it, it was the last thing that she wanted. They were so happy once, with the marriage and then having Mikayla. By the time Mikayla was 5 it all started to fall apart. and 2 years after that they were bearly talking to eachother. She felt like they hadn't tried enough. After 2 years of silence it was too much. One day she caught him looking in the paper for a house. She wanted to question him about it but seen no point. They hadn't been happily married in a while, so she didn't say anything when he bought a house, she stood as he packed and didn't beg him to stay. He had been gone out of their house for 3 years now. At first they decided to give it time for Mikayla to get used to before they filed for divorce, But time passed and neither had done it. Now 3 years of living apart and they both knew it was time to end it all.

As usual she was avoiding it. She didnt want to go to court, she didn't want to sign papers that said that the one thing that she had always wanted, her hopes and her dreams were all gone.