ATTN: I don't own the characters. The only one that I created personally is Mikayla Destni (Jude and Tommy's daughter.
Comments are greatly appreciated; they are what keep me writing. In other words, let me know what you think.
The song Tommy sings is That's when I love you by Aslyn
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Chapter One: The other side of this
Tommy stared at the keyboard that was set up next to his bed. He usually had it hidden away in the back on some closet or some room that nobody ever went into. That keyboard only came out once a year. Last night when he took it out, he was planning on ending the tradition of playing the song again. Then he set it up and smiled as he looked at the very keyboard that Jude had bought him for his birthday when they were so happy. She had bought it for him before they had even gotten married. When life was so perfect it was hard to imagine that anything could go wrong.
It was then that he knew he would play it. So last night on what would have been his and Jude's 12 year anniversary, and technically it was. They had gotten married 12 years ago. Although they were still legally married they hadn't been together in years. He sighed. It was time to put it all away. The dreadful day that haunted him every year was over. It was time to put the keyboard away and get back to his life. He went to pick it up but stopped for a second. He sat down, one more time, he thought to himself.
The beautiful melody of the song drifted throughout the room. He started to sing as if Jude could hear him. Wishing she knew, just how much he loved her.
When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
He sat perfectly still as he played the music and sung. As usual as he played the song, he remembered when she sang it to him. She surprised him when instead of a wedding march a melody of a song that he knew so well. Instead of the song just playing, his bride was walking down the aisle towards him, singing to him.
To hear u stumble when u speak Or see you walk with two left feet that's when I love you I love u endlessly
He felt the tears and anger welling up inside him. He kept singing and kept remembering. After all after tonight he would put the keyboard and the song away, and wouldn't think about it or sing it for the next year; and maybe if he was lucky, next year he wouldn't be singing the song again.
And when you're mad cuz you lost a game Forget I'm waitin in the rain Baby I love you I love you anyway So here's my promise made tonite You can count on me for life Cuz that's when i love you When nothin u do could change my mind The more i learn The more i love The more my heart cant get enough That's when i love you When i love you no matter what
He couldn't take it anymore finally he stopped playing the song and sighed. "Finish the song Quincy" he yelled to himself. Then he realized he couldn't, not anymore. He sat in the stillness, as he gently picked up the keyboard and sat it in the back of his large closet. He sat down gently then as he looked at a box on the shelf right above where his keyboard was now sitting. He pulled down the Box and looked into it. There were 12 notes gently lay in the small box. When him and Jude had first got married he always wrote her a note every year to show her how much he cared, when it all started going bad, he got into her notes while she was at work and copied the ones he had written already, placing the originals back into her closet and now every year he added one. There were 5 of the letters that she had never seen. He smiled at the sight of the letters and opened the first one.
Jude,
Hey baby, I'm starting a new tradition. As of today we have been married for a year. Never thought we'd make it this far did ya. All the way down that Aisle. Well we did. I love you so much and I want you to know I always will. Well I will see you tonight.
Love,
Your Husband
Tommy Quincy.
Tommy sighed at the first note. He remembered how excited he had been when he wrote that first note. He looked back into the box wanting so desperately to burn them all but instead he opened the next one.
Jude,
Well it has come again. The anniversary of the day that changed my life. Last year I was so happy that we were so happy and in love. Who could have imagined it could get better. Now you're pregnant with our very first child. I can't wait to start a family with you.
Sincerely
Tommy Q
He stared at the letter he had written to his wife 2 years into their marriage. She was pregnant with Mikayla, the light of his life. Here he sat in his misery. He knew that it was for the best. He and Jude weren't meant to be anymore. They had shared so much. So much love, what happened? He reached into the third letter. He looked down at the letter. It was on stationary and fancier than the first two. With the hearts and the letter being typed up. Damn me trying to be creative, He thought to himself.
Jude,
Hey baby, I know you don't feel well right now. But I said two years ago that I would write you these notes and I will now never stop. I love you. I love our daughter. I love our family. You are everything to me. Happy aniversery.3 year's baby.
-T.Q.-
He kept staring at the last one. He could feel and remember the happiness he felt when he wrote that note to her. He sighed. Why can't it still be like this? How did it all go wrong? He didn't even care what had happened between them anymore, he just wanted it to all be okay again. He smiled lightly at the memory then felt the smile disappear.
He continued to read as all of the memories rushed back. He read the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th year notes to himself. He read about all the happy memories that he had written. The notes brought something out in him. He sighed as he went to grab the 8th note. The first one of the notes that he had never given Jude. She didn't even know he had written it. It was the year that the fighting was full force.
Jude,
Hey, this is the first anniversary that I know we won't be celebrating. We fight all the time and the last thing that we need is a night out alone together. It would end bad so, instead of planning something romantic, I decided to leave you alone. I'm not going to talk or start a fight. I think a night of silence would do us both some good. I just wanted you to know that I still love you with all of my heart, and next year when I write to you again. It will be better, I just know it.
-Love always-
Tommy
"Damn it, why did I have to say that. I didn't get better, it got worse. One night of silence , turned into this" He screamed out at his empty house. It pained him to read what he wrote 5 years ago. The words sunk in. He had so many hopes for the fighting to stop, and he just wanted to give them one night of silence without the yelling. The one night turned into 2 years of silence before he left. And now 5 years of being so far away from each other. He hated the thought of it, but he blamed himself for what had happened to his marriage.
He read through the next letter. The years of silence. He remembered them so well. She never even knew that he had these letters; actually she didn't even know they existed. He looked down at the next three letters. He opened up one of them and sighed as he felt the tears come to his eyes.
Hey,
I know I don't give you these letters anymore, but this should be a happy day. This is supposed to be our 10th year anniversary sad thing is last week you caught me looking in the paper for a house. I was hoping that when you seen that, you would scream or yell at me. Beg me to stay, something. I wish all that passion you once had from me would come back suddenly. I've been trying so hard to think of a reason to stay, other than our daughter. I can't think of one. I still love you, but I can't stay here like this. We are both so sad. I hope that there is something we can do to fix this before its too late.
-Tom Quincy-
Jude
Hey it's me again. Not like you will ever read this. I used to wish that you would go through this box or stumble upon it so that you could see how much I still deeply need you, but now there isn't a chance of that. I don't even live there anymore, and I don't even think you've been in this house. You always drop Mikayla off at the door. It's like you have to run. I can't take this anymore. I know after all of this it should be time to end this. We aren't getting back together, I know that. I wish we could find our way back to eachother somehow. I know that isn't possible. We keep putting of what is bound to happen. Well happy 11th anniversary. Even if it isn't happy. Well I got to go.
-T.Q-
My girl –
I know that's weird, but I guess I'm feeling kind of sentimental this year. I was sitting here singing our song. To me that day. I was so happy that day. What happened to us? I don't think either of us knows. I know you are happy in your life now. With the recording and producing. I miss producing but I can't go back to that. I would get in your way too much. Kwest keeps asking me to come back but I know you don't need me around anymore than I can be around. I can't watch you sing and not want back what we once had. I've made a decision, when you finally will talk to me;I'm going to tell you about these letters. Its time that I'm honest with you. I know you won't care, but I'm going to tell you I've been writing you every year, and if you still do care and want to read them, ill let you. Hopefully when I take mikay home tomorrow you'll talk to me.
I love you,
Tommy
Ps. See told you I was being sentimental.
Tommy looked at the letter, the last one that he had written last night. He swore in that letter he would tell her that he wrote her. He tried to, but she avoided talking to him. Not like he blamed her. She was probably thinking about getting a lawyer and divorcing his sorry ass. He didn't know what he would do if she had done that. It would kill him. At least for now as far apart as they were. They were still binded legally. Without a marriage there wouldn't be an anniversary and then he would have to make himself stop the letters. He couldn't do that. He already tried a million times and every year without fail, he would write her just like had been doing for the past 12 years.
He finally picked up the phone and her cell phone number. No answer, of course. If she wouldn't talk to him in person, she sure in the hell wasn't going to pick up the phone. So he just hung up, he didn't have the energy to beg her answering machine for a conversation with his wife.
