P a s s i o n a n d L o v e

Valentine's Day

(because sometimes gifts turn to heartbreak in your hands)

Lily brings James back home for Valentine's Day, with that ring glittering on her finger. It pains Petunia, and not just because of the way the sunlight reflects off the diamonds (he must be rich, Petunia thinks, and she's jealous, because Vernon's rich too, and he certainly wouldn't buy her a diamond ring, no matter how much he loved her) and burns her eyes. Petunia thinks it's not just the ring though, it's Lily. She's showing it off, which casual waves of the hand that are so obviously manufactured. Showing it off, just like she showed off all those years ago at Christmas time, with her oh so perfecthandstands and her oh so perfect smile.

"We're having a June wedding," Lily announces happily at the dinner table that night, through a mouthful of chicken and rice. Mr. Evans gives his daughter a wayward glance, but says nothing about her manners. "I've always wanted to get married barefoot, amongst the sunflowers."

Petunia cannot help but scoff at that one; the thought of Lily's bright red hair clashing with her stupid yellow flowers is hilarious.

"Hippy," she mutters. "Stupid wedding, stupid girl, stupid everything." It is such a childish comment, the sort of comeback an eight year would giggle at for hours, and yet it makes Petunia feel so much better.

James, who is sitting to her left, is the only one who hears her comment, and Petunia can almost feel his body shaking beside her as he chokes on a mouthful of potato.

"Petunia," he says, "That's not nice."

"What's not nice?" Lily asks, eyebrows receding into her hair as she spoke.

"Oh, Petunia just said she wanted to design her own bridesmaid dress because she doesn't want to end up in robes."

Petunia turns her head to glance curiously at him, wishing that his true intentions were clear. Everything should be clean and crystal, she thinks, definitely not murky and hard to see through.

"I'm not sure, Petunia," she says. "I was kind of wanting Mary to be the bridesmaid."

"You do," James says. "Isn't she going off to America with Remus?"

"She was," Lily replies, "but Remus is staying obviously, so she changed her mind."
Who the hell Remus and Mary were, Petunia didn't have a clue, but … how could they? How could they do this to her?

"It's because I don't belong to your world, isn't it?" Petunia asks curtly, her voice far more livid than she expects it to be, and it scares her, because she's always been rational and it feels like she's about to lose control.

"Of course not Petunia," Lily says, and Petunia studies her face intently for any sign of a lie. "It's just … Mary is my best friend, and she's the first person that found out after James proposed, except for the family and I … I kind of promised her."

Everyone stares at Lily, leaving Petunia to quickly wipe her face on a napkin and hide the stray tears that fell from her eyes like raindrops. Why can't Vernon be here? He would have been attacking Lily ferociously with words by now, sticking up for her, protecting his beautiful girlfriend. Damn Grunnings.

"Look," Mrs. Evans suggests gently, "why don't you make both Petunia and Mary your bridesmaids?" It is a half-hearted attempt to cheer her oldest daughter up, Petunia is sure, because there were some things you couldn't hide from a mother, and sadness was one of them, no matter how many times you scrubbed the tearstains from your face.

Petunia nods, and Lily does too, both of them refusing to look at each other. Regret and anger hang above the table like storm clouds; Lily and Petunia are drowning in it all, but they both fight to stay afloat and be the first to find shelter.

The rest of the meal continues in silence, broken only occasionally by a grunt from Mr. Evans as he chews a particularly tough piece of meat or a sigh from Mrs. Evans as she watches her daughters, one from the corner of each eye. As the sound of forks clattering against empty plates fills the air, James stands up, towering over Petunia and Lily, who are sitting either side of him.

'"Happy Valentine's Day Lily," he says, bowing before presenting her with a bouquet of roses, all tied with a perfect pink ribbon that clashes with their bright red petals. It's all so cliché and horrid, but Lily's face is so full of adoration, that Petunia thinks she better not mention it. A stray thought crosses her mind; she wants James to give her roses too, red ones, because everyone knows that red stands for passion and romance and 'I love you.'

"I love you too."

There's kissing and applause and Petunia just wants to die, until Lily excuses herself to have a shower and her parents head off to watch television, leaving Petunia and James, alone except for the spotless, pearly white fridge and the numerous jars of coffee, sugar and tea.

"Look," James said, leaning casually against the cupboards, body splayed at a funny angle and hands waving about his face, "I didn't know Lily wanted that. I don't agree, but I love her, and I think we've had enough fights to last a lifetime. I don't exactly want certain parts of my anatomy – I'm sure you can guess what, and if not, well that's kind of sad - to suffer again."

"Don't worry about it." Petunia's voice is distant, controlled; there's no sign of the emotion that threatened to take hold during the meal.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Lily's my sister, and I just want her to be happy."

It's true, that's exactly what she wants. But Petunia wants Lily to be happy without James, and now she's confused, because she's got Vernon, and he's exactly what she always wanted – sturdy, reliable and flattering – so why is she suddenly thinking this about James? Love cannot just pop up like this and shout "Surprise," it's against the laws of nature, and why is she using the word 'love' anyway? Nothing's going on, nothing whatsoever.

"Anyway, Petunia, Happy Valentine's Day."

James stuffs a box of chocolates into her hand, obviously torn between being polite or scurrying away to celebrate the holiday with Lily. She looks down to see a box of chocolates, adorned with a bright yellow ribbon. Yellow: the colour of friendship, not of love. He's always going to be her sister's man, and this just proves it.

"Thanks James," she stutters; a trace of sadness is evident in her voice but she subdues it, because he's Lily's, everything is always Lily's, and nothing will ever change that. "Thanks."

---

The next day, Vernon gives her a box of chocolates and a sloppy kiss. She mumbles a thankyou and it's all she can do not to burst into tears again.

---

(a/n: Yes, this was originally a oneshot, but after I claimed Petunia and James as my pairing for the Reviews Lounge Valentine's Day compilation, I realised exactly how perfectly it fit with my Christmas fic, hence ...)

fin,

-Cuba ...x