Chapter Five
I pushed open the heavy wooden doors to the local library so hard that they struck against the opposite wall. Every pair of eyes in the room flew to mine.
I grimaced and hurried through the foyer before disappearing into the closest row of books.
"Romance… romance," I muttered under my breath as I darted silently down the rows attempting to find what I was looking for.
To be perfectly honest, I hated romance novels. I thought they were tacky and unrealistic and usually written by authors who weren't good enough to write anything of substance. But, I had been sitting at work only a few hours before, staring blankly at my computer screen, when I was suddenly overcome with the intense desire for a sappy romance … and lots of them…
Inwardly I knew it wasn't really a crappy paperback that I wanted… but more so a way to keep my mind off Danny and the fight.
The confrontation between us had been plaguing me for days… the whole thing was a large inconvenience as far as I was concerned because every time I thought about us yelling at each other, I would promptly drop whatever I was holding.
It had reached the stage where I was so tired of my paper work scattering all over the floor that I was seriously considering paying Julie extra so she could follow me around and hold all my things.
I hated that I was letting him get to me. But the hurt expression on his face seemed to be imprinted in my mind, and every time I thought about it, a twinge of guilt would run through me. Maybe I should have just listened to what he had to say…
I sighed and shook my head before reaching out and grabbing books off the shelf at random. When I had a sufficient amount in my arms, I turned and hurried back through the rows.
I had just spotted the loans desk and was hurrying towards it when I slammed into someone and all my books tumbled out of my arms and to the floor.
"Sorry," I muttered as I bent down and hurriedly gathered them together.
"That's ok," the guy replied as he bent down to help me. He picked up one of my books and glanced at the cover, "interesting reading selection."
I felt my face flush, and I realised this was the book variation of being in a car crash. That horrible moment of being hit and then realising that you have to leave the comfort of your car and show the entire highway that you're wearing your green frog pyjamas and fluffy slippers.
I cringed, "I don't usually read stuff like this."
"Just like you don't usually yell at people in your hallway for making too much noise?"
I froze and slowly lifted my eyes. They trailed over blue jeans and a black jumper, before resting on familiar brown eyes. "Oh, it's you," I muttered with a frown.
Jay raised an eyebrow, "don't act like you're happy to see me or anything."
"Sorry," I apologised hastily, "but of all the people I'd hate to see me with a bunch of erotic novels, you would probably be in my top five."
"Well, I wont tell anyone you have a secret obsession with…" Jay glanced at the cover of the book he was holding, "blond men in pirate outfits." (Authors note: I changed his name because everyone thought I meant James Bourne!)
I snatched the book from him, "hey, I'm a female alright? We all have our moments of weakness."
Jay grinned, "fair enough."
I stood up, "I'm going now. But if we ever run into each other again, I'm going to pretend this whole afternoon never happened. Ok?"
"Sure Jack Sparrow, that's fine," Jay replied with an innocent expression.
I glared at him before turning and hurrying out of the library.
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Knock, knock
"Come in," I called, without lifting my eyes from my novel.
I heard the door open and someone stepped into the room.
Silence.
Curiosity getting the best of me I looked up to see Lana standing just inside my doorway staring at me in shock, "Amber, correct me if I'm wrong, but are you reading a book that has a blond pirate on the cover?"
"Huh?" I glanced at the cover, "oh yeah, I am."
"I thought you hated romance novels?"
I book marked the page, "how do you know it's a romance? It could be a really exciting adventure."
"The title kind of gave it away," Lana replied as she crossed my apartment and plopped down on the end of my bed, "'Lust at Sea' written in curly pink writing."
"Yeah well, I just need something to keep my mind off…." I paused, "things."
Lana raised an eyebrow, "is it working?"
"Reading about the sex life of a pirate. Hell yeah."
Lana picked up the novel and opened it at a random page. She glanced over the writing before raising an eyebrow, "wow."
"Yep."
She flicked over a few more pages, "wow."
I nodded, "yep."
"This pirate can certainly…" she skipped ahead a few more pages, "can I borrow this when your done?"
I laughed, "of course, but only if you don't get any lewd ideas. You're engaged now, you know? We can't have Mr fiction here making your sex life seem…" I paused and searched for a correct word.
"Quick?" Lana suggested; her eyes glued to the novel. "Ya know if I wrote a novel about my sex life, I don't think it would…" she flicked over a few more pages, "last this long. Maybe I should break off the engagement and run away to sea to marry a pirate."
I snatched the novel off her and tossed it across the room, "see! This is why I hate romance novels. They just create all these high standards and make everyone else's lives seem crappy in comparison."
"Everyone else's, or just yours?" Lana questioned with a knowing look on her face.
I sighed and deflated, "I had a fight with Danny."
'I figured. Eric told me that Danny took you home the other night. What happened?"
"Yelling, screaming, accusations. The usual. But you know the strangest thing… I think I hurt his feelings?"
"What'd you say?" Lana asked as she got up and grabbed a pack of Tim-Tams from the everlasting stash in my fridge.
I grimaced in memory, "something about not wanting to hear what he had to say and wanting to hate him for a while."
Lana looked at me, "ouch."
I sighed and played with the corner of my bedspread, "yeah. And now I cant get his hurt expression out of my mind. It's driving me insane."
"Maybe you should apologise to him," Lana suggested holding out the packet of Tim-Tams to me.
"Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of the yelling in the first place?" I questioned as I took a Tim-Tam and bit into it.
"What was the purpose?" Lana questioned curiously, "did you really want to hurt him, or were you just blowing off steam? Because if it was the latter then I really think you should apologise and tell him you didn't mean it."
"Maybe," I replied quietly.
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McFly are…I paused thoughtfully, and waited patiently for a sentence to spring to mind… nothing did. I sighed heavily and scribbled out the line.
With the release of their new album, McFly are…I scribbled out that line too.
Amber Blair is horribly bias and cannot possibly write an appropriate media release…
I scribbled out that line so forcefully that my pencil tore through the paper. I groaned in annoyance and leant back into my chair before glaring at the little post it that was stuck to my computer. It read …MEDIA RELEASE – 5PM DEADLINE.
I glanced quickly at my watch before standing up and hurrying through the office.
"I'm going to miss a deadline!" I yelled helplessly as I burst into Lana's office. "I've never missed a deadline! My reputation is sinking before my eyes. I swear Lana, do you know how hard I've been working since university to earn this reputation! And now I'm going to be the girl who misses deadlines!"
Lana looked up at me in shock, "Amber calm down."
"I can't calm down!" I shrieked as I paced across her office, "I'm going crazy. I can't think, I can't write, and to make things ten times worse I've eaten my weight in Tim-Tam's so now I'm going to be fat tomorrow!"
After I finished ranting, I stared wild-eyed at Lana who had the most peculiar look on her face. It was almost as though she was trying not to laugh.
"Its not funny!" I yelled.
"It's a little funny," Lana grinned.
I was just opening my mouth to continue yelling, when my assistant Julie poked her head around the door.
"Are you ok Amber? I heard yelling."
I blinked. I was going to miss a deadline, and I was caught yelling in a respectable company building. All this craziness was going to end now. "I'm fine," I informed her, "get me Danny Jones's new address."
"What?" Lana asked, the smile disappearing from her face, "Amber are you crazy? What are you going to do?"
"I don't know, but I have exactly…" I glanced at my watch, "an hour and a half until my deadline. In that time I can go to Danny's, sort this all out once and for all, and then I can come back here and write without wanting to kill something every time I see his name in print."
I turned and hurried out of the office.
"What are you going to say to him?" Lana asked as she hurried after me.
"I don't know."
"Wouldn't it be better just to call him?"
"Absolutely not."
"Amber, I think you should sit down and think about this for a while."
"No time."
"But…"
"Lana," I cut her off, as I reached my desk and pulled on my jacket, "don't worry. I'm fine. I need to do this."
Lana frowned, "well… ok… just don't do anything you'll regret later."
I smiled, "oh you don't have to worry about that. I'll most defiantly do something I regret."
Lana frowned and was going to reply but was cut off when Julie approached my desk. "Ok, the address is 101 Willow Street. Do you want me to write it down for you?"
I was already halfway out of the office, "no I'll remember," I called over my shoulder.
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I was running on autopilot as I stormed out of the office, and flagged down a taxi. I didn't know exactly what I was doing, and I had no idea what I was going to say… all I knew was that laying eyes on Danny would result in myself being able to finish my press release and get it off to the printers before 5pm.
I fidgeted nervously in the back seat as a million thoughts raced through my mind. What would I say to him? How would be look? What would he think about me just showing up at his house… a house, which was in a location that I wasn't technically supposed to know about.
I grimaced, and stared out the window, watching as the city faded away and changed into the suburbs. The grass was greener, the houses were larger and the air almost seemed crisper.
All of a sudden the taxi began to slow down.
"Here we are miss," the taxi driver remarked, as he pulled up in front of a modern looking house that looked as though it had just been built.
I let out a deep breath and stuffed some bills into the driver's hand, "thanks."
I was inexplicably nervous as I walked up the short driveway to the front door. I fiddled with the edge of my blazer, as a million opening lines ran through my mind.
Unfortunately, I didn't have time to decide on one before my hand was knocking on his front door.
My heart was beating erratically as I waited for him to answer, and when he finally did, my heart nearly flew right out of my chest at the sight of him.
We stared at each other for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably only for a few seconds. Danny looked shocked beyond all belief that I was standing there in front of him, and to be completely honest, I was surprised by my actions as well. It was at that moment that I realised exactly how important my career was to me, and how far I was willing to go to stay at the top.
"Amber," Danny finally breathed, his eyes searching my face for answers, "what are you doing here?"
I struggled to formulate an answer in my brain, but I couldn't think of one. It briefly crossed my mind to start ranting about deadlines and Tim-tams and fat days… but somehow I thought that would confuse Danny even more than he already was.
So instead I did the only thing that came to mind. I launched myself forward, threw my arms around him and crashed my lips to his.
I don't know who was more shocked by my actions. Danny or myself.
By this stage I was considering checking myself into therapy, and I was pretty sure that Danny's thoughts were on the same wavelength. His lips were slack with shock, and I could feel his entire body tense as I fell into his arms with such a force that he stumbled a few steps backwards.
It was awkward and spontaneous, and I was just considering running away and throwing myself off the nearest cliff, when suddenly Danny came to life in my arms. His arms came around me, his lips were suddenly responding under mine, and his entire frame relaxed into my embrace as he pulled me so close that I swear I was about to fall into his skin.
And then, just like that, everything was exactly like old times.
Before I could figure out what was happening, he was walking me backwards into his house and we were stumbling into the couch. My mind was hazy with lust as I pushed his jacket off his shoulders, and I was so caught up in the feelings he was creating inside me that I couldn't concentrate on anything except how good he felt under my hands, and how his warmth had managed to defrost me for the first time in six months.
The passion in his kisses surprised me, it was almost as though I was water and he was dying of thirst.
I sighed in pleasure as his lips trailed down my neck, at the same time as his hand trailed up my side, and under my blouse before running across the warm skin of my stomach.
I froze. The haze left my mind and I was suddenly very aware of what I was doing and whom I was doing it with. I wrenched my lips away from Danny's and stared at him in shock. His hair was horribly mussed, and his eyes were bright and shining. I hated myself for creating that look, and I hated myself even more for my complete and utter lack of willpower.
"I need to go," I breathed desperately, my breath coming out in short pants.
"What?" Danny asked in confusion, "no. I…"
"I have a deadline," I continued as I pushed him off me and got unsteadily to my feet. My hands were shaking as I attempted to re-button my blouse.
Taking pity on me, Danny seized my shaking hands and pushed them away gently, before doing up the buttons for me. "We need to talk…"
I cut him off with a shake of my head, "I need to go."
Then without another word I turned and practically ran out of his house.
It wasn't until I was back in my office, had completed my press release that I realised the huge mistake I had made.
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To be continued...
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