Chapter Twelve
If there was one thing I had learnt this year… it was that holding a wedding rehearsal the morning after McFly's album launch was not a good idea. My head was throbbing, I was so tired I was about to pass out, and I felt like my skin was covered in a fine coat of smoke and alcohol. All in all, I felt like hell.
I shuffled down the aisle desperately wishing that this moment would end so I could go home, have a shower, fall into bed, and sleep for the next month.
"Be serious Amber," Lana urged from behind me, "this is my wedding rehearsal."
I rubbed my face with one hand, and turned around to face her, "what are you talking about? I'm walking down the aisle just like you told me to."
"Your shuffling down the aisle," Lana corrected me.
"Lana," I whined shuffling back up the aisle and falling against her dramatically, "I'm tired and I'm hung over. Is this really necessary?"
"Lana wants to make sure that you can walk," Eric joked from his position at the top of the hall. He had ceased to stand over fifteen minutes ago and was now slumped on the alter steps next to Danny and the other groomsmen. They looked completely out of place sitting there in their wrinkled smelly going out clothes. None of us had bothered to go home and change before coming here. Instead we all just stumbled from the club to the church in a drunken heap. How very Christian of us.
All except Lana of course, who had managed to get home at a reasonable hour last night and in her stress was refusing to wear any colour except white. When I had informed her that only virgins wore white she had yelled at me, told me I was an awful friend, broke down into tears, and then sent me to the florist to pick up the flowers. For someone who had hired a wedding planner, Lana was dealing with the stress rather badly.
"Amber," Lana pleaded with me, "please cooperate. My wedding is tomorrow and you're going to give me a heart attack."
"I feel like crap," I complained.
"You look like crap," Lana told me bluntly, "now please walk down the aisle like a good bridesmaid."
Deciding to soothe her anxiety, I walked properly down the extremely long aisle. I ran the last few steps and collapsed next to Danny and Eric with a sigh of relief. "Kill me."
"Your hung over," Eric reminded me as though this explained everything.
I pointed at him, "That's not my fault."
"Then whose fault is it?"
I wracked my brains, "I don't know. Who bought all those shots for me?"
"The evil devil like concoctions that tasted like nail polish remover," Danny mumbled his voice raspy. His voice had disappeared at some point throughout the night and he was still waiting patiently for it to come back.
I shuddered in memory, "yeah those ones."
"They were a product of Mr Poynter."
"Of course."
"Were they the gross looking black ones that resembled molasses?" Eric asked as his eyes followed Lana around the hall.
I blinked and looked at him, "were they black? That's not a good sign."
"You guys were lighting them on fire," Eric reminded me.
I shivered in disgust. No wonder I felt like crap. I had consumed the dreaded black alcoholic poison. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"I think I'm still drunk," Danny said as he rubbed a hand over his face wearily. "Do you think Lana would hate me if I bailed."
'Yes," Eric and I replied together.
"I hate your fiancé," Danny groaned.
Eric ignored him, his eyes on Lana, "have you ever seen her like this?"
I followed his gaze. Lana was currently in a heated argument with her wedding planner. From the looks of things a bird had flown in from outside, and Lana wanted to kill it with her bare hands. I smiled, "she just wants everything to be perfect."
"You'd think she'd be used to it with all the events she plans on a regular basis," Danny said with a frown.
"Yeah but its different when its your own." My eyes followed Lana as she paced up and down the aisle. "Hell she's getting married, that's a huge day in your life."
"Do you want to get married one day Amber?" Eric asked curiously.
I shrugged, "maybe."
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Several hours later I practically fell over the threshold to my apartment. I blinked in surprise when I realised that Jay was sprawled out on my bed. I grimaced at him, "now is really not the time Jay."
He looked at me in amusement, "you look like shit."
I scowled, "so I've been told."
I stumbled through my apartment kicking off my heels and pulling my jewellery off, "so what brings you to my humble abode?"
"Gossip of course," Jay replied as he observed my progress, "you're a superstar."
I looked at him in confusion, "huh?"
He held up a magazine and right there smack in the middle stood Danny and myself at the launch party. The image wasn't anything exciting, but the headline still proclaimed in bold type 'Danny Jones finds love!'
I grimaced at the shrewdness of it, "bloody hell. Could my day get any more crappy right now?"
Jay lowered the magazine and grinned excitedly at me, "so I see everything turned out quite nicely between you and guitar boy."
I pointed at him, "now's really not the time Jay."
"Oh come on Jack," he smiled as he got off the bed and followed me into the bathroom, "give me something. My love life is non existent so I have to live vicariously through you."
"Jay…" I protested as I turned the shower on.
He boosted himself up onto my bathroom counter; "I'm not leaving until I get all the latest."
"Well at least close your eyes until I get into the shower."
He obeyed and I undressed quickly, stepping into the shower and pulling the curtain across. "There's not a lot to tell Jay," I began as the hot water washed the invisible clubbing filth from my body, "life has been hectic. We haven't really had a lot of time to sit down and talk since our date."
"But things are good right?"
I soaped up my hair, "yeah I think so. Things have been kind of casual though so it's hard to tell."
"I'm sure everything will work out fine." Jay assured me, "your happy?"
I poked my head around the curtain and raised an eyebrow at him, "aside from that stupid article I'm going to have to spend all afternoon smoothing over with the press… I'm good."
He grinned at me and was just opening his mouth to reply when someone started banging on my front door. "Can you get that?" I asked him as I stepped back under the stream, and began washing the shampoo from my hair.
I was just starting to apply conditioner when I heard Lana's voice in the other room, "Amber!" she yelled.
"In here Miss Bride to be," I called back.
Lana stormed into the bathroom and began pacing back and forth.
I poked my head out around the curtain, "how nice of you to join me in this hygienic moment."
"Don't joke with me Amber," Lana scowled at me, "I'm cracking up. I can't do this. I'm about to have a heart attack."
"What are you…" I began.
"I can't get married," Lana screeched!
I blinked in surprise, "what?"
"I mean what am I thinking?" Lana ranted, as she paced in front of Jay and myself "I'm not the marrying type Girls like me don't get married. We have careers and relish in our independence and hang out with our girlfriends and make fun of all those women who are tied down as housewives. I can't be a housewife. I'm not maternal. I hate kids!"
"Lana calm down."
"I can't calm down! I'm ruining my life. I'm cutting myself off from every other man in the world. What if Eric isn't the guy for me? I can't get married I haven't had enough sex! I haven't slept around enough, aren't you supposed to sleep around with a certain amount of men before you get married?"
"Well I…"
"Amber," Lana whispered her eyes wide, "what if I'm making a mistake?"
Silence. I blinked several times trying to understand the situation. Here I was… in the shower… with Jay pressing for information about my love life and Lana cracking up about hers. Meanwhile I was on the cover of every tabloid in the country. Could this situation be any more bizarre?
Danny stepped into the room, "Amber your front door was open," he paused and trailed his eyes from me to Lana and then to Jay, "what's going on? Slumber party?"
Apparently it could be.
"Ya know," I began, "I remember a time when a shower was a private affair."
"Amber!" Lana whined her eyes wide.
"Lana you've just got cold feet. You love Eric, he's perfect for you remember."
Danny's eyes widened, "are you calling off the wedding?"
"Of course she's not," I replied easily before looking at Lana, "your not are you?"
"Why do you think I'm here?" Lana demanded, "I can't make that sort of decision all by myself."
I stared at her as though she were insane, "are you nuts? How could you even consider something like that?"
Jay looked at us all in amusement, "oh this is like something out of a soap opera."
Lana glared at him, "I'm glad you find pleasure in my pain."
I began washing the conditioner from my hair, "well then I suppose there's only one thing to do."
"What's that?" Lana asked anxiously.
"We make a pro con list."
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"This is ridiculous," Jay stated half an hour later.
Danny bit into a slice of pizza, "I think it's logical."
The four of us were spread across my apartment. Lana was in deep concentration over her pro con list, Danny was engrossed in the tabloid with us on the cover, I was on the phone to anyone I could find trying to get rid of it, and Jay was sprawled out on the floor with a canvas and some paints.
"This technique has helped me make many decisions," I told them as I got off the phone and peered over Lana's shoulder, "put the fact that we get to wear pretty dresses on the pro list."
"But being stuck with someone for the rest of your life has got to be on the con," Jay put in.
Danny looked up from the magazine, "not necessarily."
"If all else fails you can always get divorced," I shrugged, "so that's got to be a pro."
"How crushed Eric would be would be a con," Danny mused thoughtfully.
"But being single and free to date anyone you want is a pro," I added.
Lana looked at me, "yeah but being single once your over 30 is a con."
Jay looked up from his painting, "this list could go on forever."
I shrugged, "yeah well marrying someone is a big decision to make."
An hour later there was a clear consensus.
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Ok ok I lied... turns out there's one more chapter.
TCB
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