Thank you for the kind reviews! I thought you were all gone.
The next chapter will be up by the next week and a half. After that there might not be another chapter until after May 11th because of finals, but hopefully that won't happen!
I also apologize for any errors. Of course right when I start again, I don't feel good _._
In the night I shrugged off Mr. Tiny's spell, stretching and popping right back into dragon form. Mr. Tiny was not there and it was easy to pick up my pack and slip like a ghost from the compartment. The lack of sleep and nervousness had not put me off what I had to do. The fire had been reignited. I would not lay back quietly while Harrison, the gods and to an extent, Mr. Tiny ran around as they so pleased. Mr. Tiny assumed that I was weak, a stranger to magic and easy to manipulate because of my "amnesia" and while he was mostly wrong, he was partially correct. I had let my fear drive me into not practicing; I had stuffed my magic and shunned the dragon, pushing both into the deepest regions of my head where they would be far away from me. I had blamed magic for getting me into this situation and whether I had acknowledged it or not, I wished for it to leave me.
I had wanted to be normal.
Being stuck as the dragon had opened my eyes in more ways than one and probably not how Mr. Tiny would want. I had been captured and tortured to the edges of sanity. I still wasn't healthy and probably would never be, at least not for awhile, but I was done rolling over and taking it. The panic attacks and nightmares wouldn't stop, but this time I would meet them head on.
There was things had to take care of and a few I had to do alone. When I returned, I would not be hiding. Perhaps even before I left. Mr. Tiny had no idea how in tune I was with magic when I wanted to be. He thought that I had little to no experience and that was his downfall. If I truly wanted to, it would be nigh impossible for Mr. Tiny to find me and that was what I counted on. Even now he did not see what I truly looked like under the glamours, under the fake name and the mask of not remembering.
I truly missed being Darren Shan. Taking back my name and my true identity was what I needed to do in order to start healing. I was Darren Shan, vampire prince, magician, Desmond Tiny's son. I was not "Shadow," the amnesiac who cowered in a corner. I regretted deeply that Mr. Tiny and I had not had a meaningful conversation before his memory was wiped. We had never actually worked out the issues between us and that was contributing to my tension right now. The older magician could not help what had happened to him and it was my choice that had caused it.
I leaned against the wall of the train, feeling the rumbling of the wheels and rummaged through my backpack, pausing when I found a few items that brought back painful memories. At the bottom however, was something that I had no memory of putting in there. It was an empty, leather sword sheath that had runes etched all over it. I turned the sheath over in my hands and sighed. It had gone with my sword.
I carried the backpack in one hand and the sheath in the other until I got into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and frowned, disgusted at myself. My hair was a long, tangled mess. My skin was pale and there were bags under my eyes. The faint sheen of blue magic that made up my glamours made me look even more sickly. I pulled my dirty shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor. My crappy jeans and even older boxers went next. Out of the pack I pulled a pair of red plaid pants, black t-shirt and new boxers. I buckled the sheath to my belt and brushed the tangles out of my hair.
I closed my eyes and reached for the magic that I had pushed away and found it tucked into a tight ball in the deepest parts of my mind. Previously I had been only using the barest minimum to shift and survive and it had taken a toll. On my skin the dragon that had been asleep for weeks stirred and I relished the feeling. I touched and rolled in the magic, undoing the binds I had trapped it with. The rush of power made me lightheaded and magic flowed through my body like a tsunami. I fell to my knees and groaned, glamours popping and exploding; the feeling was like finally stretching cramped muscles after being shut in a box. My tail returned first, sweeping out behind me into the bathroom. Then the wings, pushing through the slits I'd cut in the back of my shirt. My ears became pointed, nails sharper and feathers grew in with my hair. Last of all my eyes glowed bright blue, slitted dragons eyes replacing normal human ones.
I slowly rose to a standing position and tilted my head at the new reflection staring back at me. The magic felt stronger and I grinned, showing off my new, pointy teeth. The next moment I turned slightly and stared in shock. My wings were healed completely. The shredded skin, feathers and muscles were together again. I rustled my wings and nearly broke down right there.
"Shadow?" Harkat's sleepy voice came through the door.
My head whipped towards the door and I growled, running my tongue over my fangs. "What is it Harkat?" I asked and immediately felt lighter. Even my voice was different, more like my old one.
There was a pause and the door swung open as I hadn't bothered to lock it. Harkat stood there and his eyes widened upon seeing me. The look didn't last long, he grinned at me with such relief and pleasure that it made my heart ache. But he quickly looked sad again, his face closing down.
I knew what he was thinking. This was what I had looked like before everything had gone so wrong. He figured I had used magic on accident and this was what I had ended up with. "My name is Darren, don't you know?" I said, putting a slight note of teasing in there, but I mostly sounded desperate.
"Y-You remember?" Harkat said and crossed his arms.
He was right to be suspicious. I stretched out my magic, feeling along the train for any hint of Desmond Tiny. Only when I found nothing did I answer. "I remember everything. Steve. The Lord of Shadows. My parentage and my death. Everything after too." Now this was the moment of truth. I had kept Harkat from my spell, let him remember because Little People were different than everyone else because Mr. Tiny created them. It was my biggest risk, but I had known that someone else would need to remember in order to help me save everyone else. But if the gods, or god, or however many had been behind the original game took offense, I was dead and so was Harkat. Nothing happened. The train didn't explode. We weren't obliterated. That in itself was something, a clue that I wasn't sure what the purpose of was. Perhaps, just perhaps, that god was the only one behind what had happened. Were the others keeping him in check? Or were they in the middle of a civil war?
Harkat leapt forward and hugged me hard around the middle, being careful not to touch my wings. "I missed you. I was wondering, you were acting slightly suspicious for awhile."
The dragon squirmed and I smiled, tears falling down my cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry," I whispered.
"Mr. Tiny is going to flip," Harkat snorted and pulled away.
"I don't intend to be here when he comes back," I confessed and held up my hand to halt Harkat's explosive answer. "This time I'm not leaving because of being slapped around by him, an argument or anything else. I have something I need to do and I can't do it here. Besides, when Mr. Tiny finds out that I remember he's my dear old Father, it would be best for me to be preferably on the other side of the planet," I said. "He will need to calm down and no doubt remake all of his plans. Of course he will come after me and I'm counting on that. Sure, he will find me eventually, but he won't be expecting just how strong I am and that will throw him off even further."
"Do you want him to see you leave?" Harkat asked.
"I don't know. I was thinking of either leaving a note or just vanishing," I said. "You should come with me. It won't be safe for you when he finds out."
Harkat shook his head. "No. He has a connection with me being a Little Person. He won't hurt me because of his anger at you. Besides you still have the phone so we can keep in touch. Leaving a simple note might make him think you have no intention of coming back, which isn't true and could make him even angrier. But letting him watch you go, well that doesn't give you a head start and he could just catch you right away." Harkat frowned and looked me up and down. "Are you sure you are well enough to go?"
"No. But if I don't go, I won't ever. I need to go," I said. I opened the train window and looked out, enjoying the cool air brushing past. The train was coming up to a bridge and a large river. I could tell by the currents that the river was a direct ride to the ocean. I pulled my head back in and scrambled for a piece of paper and a pen. Writing fast, I gave the letter to Harkat and took out the phone, my wallet and a knife from the bag. "Keep the rest safe. I can't carry it all with me."
Harkat nodded. "Be careful."
Normally, I would have been crushed at leaving my friend like this. But we both knew the stakes now and we had a method of contact. I looked Harkat in the eyes and told him firmly: "When you give my note to Mr. Tiny make sure to mention the fact that I must have known the whole time and still stayed with him. That will give him something extra to think about if someone backs up what is in the letter."
"I will," Harkat swore. He stepped back and frowned. "But how are you going to get out of the train?"
I glanced out the window. The train had just started over the bridge and nothing but water lay beneath us, shining in the moonlight. "I have an idea," I said, grinning. It had been far too long since I had done this.
"Wait, what are you going to do?" Harkat asked as I stepped up to the window. His eyes alighted on my healed wings and he raised both eyebrows, looking excited.
"Kill," I said and glanced at Harkat. "Get what is mine." I opened the window all the way. "Don't worry. Harrison is ours to end together."
Harkat nodded shortly, his eyes gleaming with bloodlust. "I would expect nothing less."
The train was almost over the bridge now. I studied the dark water for a moment longer and then threw myself out the window. I passed by the bridge and tucked my arms by my sides, drawing on the magic almost lazily, enjoying it. My body twisted and contorted, feathers rippling up my body to form a second layer of protection. My arms shot out to the sides and I spread my wings that grew and grew to accommodate my swiftly growing body. Right before I hit the water I steadied out and my tail swept across the surface, transformation completing right on time. I twirled in the air and turned back to the train, catching a glimpse of Harkat staring back at me before the train moved behind a hill.
I roared my delight at the skies, scaring birds into flight. I flew in and out of the flock, diving and snapping with no real intent to catch them. I shot high into the sky and back down like a bullet, diving under the water. It took awhile before my exultation wore off and I settled back down, swimming underneath the water like a shark. My goal was the ocean. From there the world was mine to access as I pleased.
I thought about the note I had left Mr. Tiny and ignored the pang in my chest. I had done everything in my power. Whether the gods were in the midst of a war amongst themselves, or were all watching and waiting for me to slip up, I couldn't take any chances. In order to let Mr. Tiny remember, he had to help us without his memories and willingly believe what I was telling him, without me explaining fully.
I don't expect you to understand this, or maybe you do in your own strange way. But please, please listen.
I have to go take care of something. You know that feeling in your chest, like you have forgotten something? That's part of it. Whatever you do, don't touch it. Don't prod it with magic, don't try to remember. You will want to, just because I said not to. In fact, by now you have probably thought about doing that already because it's getting annoying. You don't like not knowing things.
Please, please do not mess with it. You and I both know what's out there. Everything and everyone will be lost. There will be no world to play with. Your children will die.
You respect Evanna and her choices and I am telling you to trust me, to respect me and the fact that something you cannot understand nor control rests in your hands. Do not remember. Do not.
No doubt you will hunt me. You are angry and I understand. I will be waiting. Harkat has my number. I am not running from you. I am taking care of what needs to be done, to begin what needs to happen to save you and everyone else. If I need you, I will call and by the end, I will most certainly need you.
Maybe you can't understand any of this. Maybe when you are done reading, you will remember. But know that I care about you and I know that you care about me, more than you can understand.
Do. Not. Remember.
Your son,
Darren
:D *gives out an assortment basket of candies*
