Haven's Meet

It had been a few days since I had met Commander Cullen on the field, since then I have encountered a Pride demon, a frightened elf, throngs of the faithful, rogue Templars and apostates, a mother of the faith and a gruff horse master.

All of which seemed to think I was special or some Herald of Andraste.

I may have faith in the maker and my doubts that I was sent.

A title is a title though and people will always make people like me bigger than themselves.

I missed just being "The Raven of Kirkwall" and putting back bad ale with Fennic and the crew in The Hanged Man thinking why we couldn't have it like the Champion. Well, now I have it. And it sucks.

And Cullen.

Why is it every time I look at him across the war table my heart seems to skip a beat? It was not like this back at Kirkwall, well almost.

Then there was that last meeting; Sparrow had told me that the commander was resigning his post. At first, I celebrated that he was no longer part of the order but if we were to be together... I had to tell him everything... before he left me behind.

I shook the thought from my head, He probably doesn't even want to remember that night. It was so raw, and primal. But I was so... terrible, that he left me behind without anything. not even a letter.
But then why would he? I was just a supposed criminal with an affinity for magical artifacts and he was the law.
Why would he ever want me like that again now that he knew who I am?

The one he chased all those years.

The one he slept with not knowing his culprit was right next to him.

I let out a breath as I stared at the ceiling of my little cabin. Moments like this, I find... that it's good to train. it was one of the many things that Help me get my mind get off... things.
I got up from my cot in my small cabin and started dressing in my favorite training Shirt and leather breeches; All in black, less to wash. I looked around at the small space I had for myself. A warm cot with herbs hanging everywhere. The chest filled with my things was at the far wall.

I was happy for the return of my belongings. Of course, I knew Liliana most likely looked at all the letters I had saved over the years. I did not care who saw them so long as they kept it to themselves.

There was a light caw from the corner and turned to see my oldest friend, Hector. He was a raven I had found in Kirkwall abandoned.

His owner was one of my customers who died, he only had a missing foot and no one was going to take him. So, I took him home with me and now he always seemed to find me regardless of where I was. I tore off a small piece of stale bread I kept on my desk and gave it to him. "That's a good boy Hector. Eat it up cause I will have a letter for Fennic I need to send tonight. She needs to know we are alright." I passed the warmth of the fireplace and grabbed my belt and daggers and started my way down to the dummies Cullen had Threnn set up outside Haven.

For a grumpy quartermaster, she was remarkably good at her job. The air was crisp this morning with a hint of flakes falling from the trees.

I walked past the other cabins and turned past Seggrit's table he had set up. He and Mother Giselle were arguing over the price of elfroot, again. Which I knew Seggrit tried to mark up every chance he got, but I didn't have the patience to solve that this morning.
I opened the gates and I saw that I was not the only person out training this morning. Cassandra was taking out whatever frustrations she had on the poor dummy in front of her.

Despite how we met I was starting to like the seeker.

She had her heart in the right place and was willing to ignore the times Varric and I took to drinking a little too much ale. Also, it helped that she was not so bad in a fight.

I jogged down the steps to the dummies. Cassandra was too focused on her strikes to notice me.
I moved to start hitting the dummy next to hers. It was then she looked at me and just let out a noise of disgust. Hitting my dummy a few times I noted hers looked a bit worse for wear.

"I think I need to ask Threnn to get you dummies made out of sturdier stuff," I said with mirth.

"That would be nice" she grunted hitting the dummy a few more times. The poor thing had finally given way and the arms fell to the snow with a deafening thud. "Like maybe iron." Phew, I am happy I am not on the receiving end of that. I almost was...

She looked at me "Did I do the right thing? What I set in motion here could ruin what I have built my whole life. One day they may write about me as a traitor, a madwoman, a fool. And they may be right." she placed her training blade on the rack. I glanced at her. "Honestly, I don't think you had much choice." She started to pace at this point. "Didn't I? My trainers always told me I was too brash and I misjudged you didn't I? I cannot afford to be so careless again." I chuckled taking a gash out of my dummies padding "It's not like you had cause, I was the Raven of Kirkwall after all and I am not exactly a beacon among my peers." She stopped looking at the frozen lake, "I was just so determined to have someone, anyone answer for what happened to the divine." She turned to look at me then "You've said you believe you're chosen. Does that mean... you believe in the Maker?"

"Honestly yes, but when I meet him, I'll have a lot of questions." hitting my dummy with a hard strike.

"I guess it doesn't matter now, but I have to believe we were put on this path for a reason." she sighed.

"That I can get behind. We are on this path for a reason bit." I hit my dummy with a finisher strike and it fell to bits.

She laughed for a moment and I grinned. Good, she is not so bad when she is not in seeker mode.

"I guess we both need sturdier dummies." I looked at her "I'll get Harrit on it. Let's go to the kitchens, I am starving."

We started towards the chantry.

"It occurs to me that I don't know much about you beyond your criminal history." she said as we walked up the path.

I looked at her pushing open the gate to Haven. "Hmmm what do you want to know?"

"I'm ... not sure. Where are you from?" she asked unsure of her words.

"Sure I'll tell you just don't mention it to Varric I want to keep him guessing. I was born in Ostwick and that is where my family lives now." and where I never wanted to return. "The Trevelyan's is it not, large house with a rather clever coat of arms. Do you consider it your home? Are you eager to go back?"

I scoffed, balling my fist, right go back just after my father promised not to chase me. not a chance, "My home now is wherever I am and my family, my father likes it that way."

"I feel the same after years of tending to business for the divine. But why does your father want to keep you away?"

Ah, Cassandra ever the interrogator. She didn't need to know it all, just graze over the details. Hopefully, she could lay off after,

"All I'll say is that it deals with a red-faced duke's son and my nightly activities. I am sure you can understand not wanting to be a part of your family's plan."

She grinned "Yes, I can."

"So Pentagast I know that name. Where do you lie in the line of succession?"

"75th," She said with more disgust.

I smiled. "Guess we both had families we wanted to get away from."

We walked our way past Varric's tent. It wasn't until then that I heard the shouting. Looking to Cassandra as both ran towards the chantry gates.

We arrived to see our Mages and Templars arguing. A Templar had pushed his way through the left side of the crowd to accuse another mage of murdering the Divine, naturally, the mage countered by saying that the Templars left her to her own demise.

Angered by the mage's accusation, The Templar yelled at the mage to shut his mouth. Just as he was about to pull out his sword, was when Cullen chose to cut in.

"Knight-Commander," the Templar exclaimed, shocked to see a former Templar coming to a mage's defense.

Cullen shot an annoyed look at the Templar who called him his former title, "That is not my title. Not anymore," He spat.

"We are not Templars any longer. We are all part of the Inquisition," Cullen said, addressing the entire crowd who were now in an uproar.

Before he could continue, Rodrick spoke from the crowd, "And what does that mean exactly?" with a hint of animosity.

Cullen grimaced the approaching Chancellor, "Back already Chancellor. Haven't you done enough?"

Chancellor Roderick smirked, "I'm curious, Commander. As to how your Inquisition and its Herald will restore order, as you've promised." The sarcasm dripping in his voice at the mention of my latest title.

"Of course you are," Cullen muttered under his breath, annoyed at the Chancellor's feigned innocence. He noticed the crowd growing larger, all of them gawking at the exchange between the Chancellor and their Commander. He shook his head at their interest.

"Back to your duties. All of you," he said, especially to the Chancellor who held a smug look.

I noticed how the both of them were shooting the worst looks at each other. Most likely this is going to end in a brawl. Cullen would win obviously but we cannot have the Inquisition's reputation be smeared over two hot-headed men. Not right now.

I held my hand out to Cassandra. "I'll meet you there."

She looked concerned, I smiled "I got this."

Sigh, I cannot believe this two grown men acting like children, and me having to break up the fight like their mother.

I glanced at the men, Cullen's arms crossed, most likely wishing that Rodrick was not here, "So what's going on? Usually, you two are on other sides of the compound at this point."

Cullen met my eyes. We had not spoken much except for our talks in the war room. I could always tell he wanted to ask me more than he was letting on. "Herald, the mages, and Templars are now blaming each other for the Divine's death. Morale is still low at camp. We can't have them fight amongst each other. Especially not within Haven."

Rodrick huffed.

"Which is why we require a proper authority to guide them back to order," the Chancellor interjected, his lips curled in rancor as his eyes met mine. I just smirked. He is not the first to give me that look and I doubt he will be the last.

"And who do you think would be a better fit for that? You? A random cleric who wasn't important enough to be at the Conclave," Cullen spat back at the Chancellor.

Cullen always had a way with words, I need to find time to talk to him more. That and see if he still is upset about the whole not catching me business or that last meeting. I glanced at Rodrick, "So far, Chancellor. You are the only one who has said we cannot work together."

"We might if the inquisition would recognize the proper authority." he sneered and puffed up his chest just a bit.

"There is no proper authority until a new divine is chosen," Cullen interjected.

"In due time. Andraste will be our guide" He opened his arms and turned. Looking back at me "And Not some Dazed thief on the Mountainside." He snarled.

I wanted to take out the Chancellor right there for even suggesting that I wanted the glory that these people were placing upon me. I should not be anyone's guide, I glanced at Cullen calm and collected in the face of Rodrick's words. He has changed, "Cullen" my eyes meeting his, with a new admiration. "Don't let anyone riot while we are gone"

He smiled. Curses he has looks that could melt any woman. "The walls will be standing by the time you return. I hope."

I smiled back "I was just wondering if you had any issues with us working together. I mean seems like yesterday that you were chasing me through the streets of Kirkwall. Then, of course, there was… um." I couldn't say it not with Rodrick there.

His face flushed, "Honestly I have not given that much thought. At the time I was dealing with bigger issues than the Raven of Kirkwall." He is such a terrible liar. I wasn't going to call him on it. I never did... I still remember him pacing in his office and reading my letters; the Raven's letters, as I watched from my balcony. Things were simpler then.

"We are good?" I said. He nodded.

"So maybe we could spar sometime?" My heart sped up, where these feelings were coming from. I feel like one of those flowers on the side of the ballroom waiting for some lord asking them to dance. It definitely wasn't like this back in Kirkwall.

"Oh um... Why would you want that? I am sure anyone would want to spar with you." He said nervously rubbing the back of his head. My stomach was aflutter and I doubt that was from my lack of food.

"I would hate it that you never got to fight me, Even during our encounters i never really gave you a chance." I looked at him. hoping as his cheeks flushed, doubting it was the cold weather putting it there, making my way towards the chantry doors. "Sure I could spar with you sometime." He said after me. my cheeks warmed at the thought of anything with him again... What has gotten into me? He was the Commander of the Inquisition, I was just some feature from a past he wanted no part of anymore. I walked down the lit stone chantry hall. The last time I tried anything like this was Kirkwall. No I must resist, and those flutters in my stomach they Must be Hunger, yeah that must be it. just keep denying and these feelings will pass, I'm sure. I turned towards the kitchens, thinking a good meal would do me good.

...

She asked me to spar. She opened the chantry doors and proceeded down the stone hall.

Like it was nothing for her. It has always been nothing for her. She turned towards the kitchens.

This woman I had chased for years on end for robbing nobles estates, defacing private property with her break ins among various other crimes ranks, and who toyed with me for years on end. the woman I slept with not knowing she was my target the entire time, Who sent me ... letters after almost every one of her crimes, usually explaining her motives. Turning in some of the artifacts she stole, just to see me...

I had only found out a month ago that she was a noble and had wanted nothing to do with her family or title. Maybe it's just the lyrium withdrawal getting to me but every time in the war room. I could swear she snuck me little glances and touches of my hand. Did she miss me like I did her? I cannot deny that she didn't cross my mind. She still bit her scarred lower lip when she was thinking, reminding me of those nights. The Dreams of her that accompanied the many nightmares, when it was her that filled my dreams it was a relief. Any dream that was not torture was a relief. I started back to my quarters; I needed to go through a couple requisitions if only to distract myself from these thoughts. She was just here to close the breach and I was the commander of the inquisition. It would be improper to try to see if she wanted me still. I just needed to wait maybe once she has closed the breach, maybe then. But until then it Didn't mean I couldn't go over all the letters she sent me as The Raven and as herself. And that last Raven letter...


I had just resigned my post, I couldn't take it anymore.

The order had asked so much of me over the years and Meredith was the last.

I thought I could handle it maybe still serve, but... it could have been me.

Come morning I would just be Cullen Rutherford.

I entered my room and saw a letter with her seal on my bed. On the bed, it was no longer mine. Picking up I examined it. It smelled of lavender and elfroot. On the back was her usual raven crested seal, I opened the letter and read.

Dear Ex-Knight Commander,

A little bird told me of what happened.
While we may have had our... differences on how justice should be carried out, it does not mean I cannot see why you want to leave your post.
I hoped that we could meet for one last time before you ship off to whatever dark corner of the world.
I have enclosed a map to our meeting place. Don't bring friends I would hate to have to take them out.
I hope you will come.

~ The Raven
P.S. Meredith didn't deserve you.

I had read it a few times looking for some trick, but there was no trick to be found. I looked at the lyrium on my desk. Anytime I saw lyrium now all I could think of was that statue of the ex-knight commander the middle of the city. If I was going to meet my mystery opponent, I would do it unclouded. I took her map and tucked her letter in my satchel with all the others. Looked around what once were my quarters and walked to meet The Raven of Kirkwall. The lyrium left on the table.


I opened the door to my office and saw all of the paperwork I had to get to. I let out a breath, the tide was never ending. I warmed my hands by the fireplace behind my desk. I set my sword down next to me and sat down for a change. I opened the top drawer and lifted out the box of correspondence I had placed in there. I lifted the false bottom to retrieve the letters with her seal. Remembering her skill and finesse with her blades on the battlefield. I better practice.


I just finished eating some turnip stew in the kitchen when I heard a loud ruckus coming from Josephine's office. She was our ambassador and I had not talked with her much beyond our war table meetings. Crossing the hall and giving Mother Giselle a short greeting I opened the door. The sight I was greeted with was her trying to debate with one of the many nobles who visited Haven.

"The inquisition cannot remain, Ambassador, if you cannot prove it was founded on Justinia's orders.

"This is an inopportune time marquis more of the faithful flock here each day..."

She looked over at me as I walked in the door.

"But allow me to introduce you to the brave soul. Who risked her life to slow the magic of the breach?" She said to the marquis

Well if I was going to play the Herald game I better brush off my manners and my knowledge of the ... Game. I still hate that they call it that. More like let's kill someone over the wrong fork.

She looked at me "Ser Trevelyan, may I present the Marquis Du Rellion, one of the divine's greatest supporters."

He cut in "and the rightful owner of haven. House Du Rellion lent Justinia these lands for a pilgrimage. This "inquisition" is not a beneficiary of this arrangement."

Ah yes, that must irk him to have our little group on his lands.

"This is the first time I have heard of Haven having an owner outside the chantry."

"My wife, Lady Machen of Denerim, has claim to Haven by ancient treaty with the monarchs of Ferelden. We were honored to lend its use to divine justinia. She is..." he cut himself off looking mournful. "She was a woman of supreme merit. I will not let an upstart order remain on Her Holy Grounds."

Ah I see he is a fan

"Interesting, considering the Inquisition was begun by the Left and Right Hands of the Divine."

He turned to Josie "I've seen no written records from Sister Liliana or Seeker Pentaghast that Justinia approved the Inquisition."

Josephine looked at me for a moment before turning to the marquis. "If he won't take her at her word, I'm afraid Seeker Pentaghast must challenge him to a duel."

"What!" he said with a tone of worry behind his masked face.

"It is a matter of honor among the Nevarrans. Shall I arrange the bout for tonight?" she quipped writing something on her writing board she brought with her everywhere.

"Yes, I have seen her fight. She does not take slights well." I smiled following along with Josie's play.

The marquis' eyes turned to those of panic, "No! No. Perhaps my reaction to the Inquisition's presence was somewhat hasty."

DuRellion Sighed and turned away from us.

Josephine looked at DuRellion "We face a dark time, Your Grace. Divine Justinia would not want her passing to divide us. She would, in fact, trust us to forge new alliances to the benefit of all, no matter how strange they might seem."

DuRellion turned back to us "I'll think about it, Lady Montilyet. The Inquisition might stay in the meanwhile." As he left the room.

I looked at the Marquis and turned to Josie "I'm so pleased the marquis isn't tossing us out into the cold."

Josephine walked over to her desk and sat down "His Grace is one of the first of many dignitaries we must contend with."

I walked towards her desk away from the door "You expect more people in Haven?"

Josephine nodded "Undoubtedly. And each visitor will spread the story of the Inquisition after they depart. An ambassador should ensure the tale is as complimentary as possible."

I looked at Josephine "May I ask what brought you to work for the Inquisition?"

"Sister Liliana approached me. We've been acquainted for quite some time. For better or worse, being the Inquisition's diplomat has become as interesting as she promised." she started on one of her many letters for the inquisition.

"So what sort of dealings have you had with nobility? I am sure your experience is much different than mine." I smirked remembering the many jewels I stole from the nobility. That and the small prank here and there when i felt like it. Josephine laughed for a moment "For some years, I was the royally appointed court ambassador from Antiva to Orlais. The nobility of Thedas is a rather singular sphere. Those I'm not acquainted with, I know through reputation and yours while colorful is not the worst I have seen."

"Well, then I'm glad for your help. I have a feeling the Inquisition's going to need it." I looked behind to where the marquis was talking with the good mother. Josie just smiled. "I do believe you are correct. Thedas' politics have become… agitated as of late. I hope to guide us down smoother paths."

She looked down at all the paperwork on her desk. "But please excuse me. I've much work to do before the day is done."

I chuckled to myself "That's an understatement."