Disclaimer: I no own Matrix. I no spik Ingeerrish.
MATRIX REVOLUTIONS - THE UBER BLONDE VERSION
It was, like, this totally huge thunderstorm, y'know? All sorts of thunder and ligthtning and rain and stuff like that, and then all over the place there was, like, all these Smith clones, and they were, like, watching the main Smith guy fight that Neo fellow, y'know?
Smith was like, "Welcome back, Mr. Anderson, we missed you, like what we've done to the place?" Because y'see he'd made the city all kinda dark and stuff and it was totally cool, and then Neo was like, "It ends tonight, Smith", and then there was this really really cool fight scene where they were all, like, flying around the sky and fighting each other, y'know? And Smith could, like, punch Neo really really hard until he, like, smashed right through a building, but Neo could do that to Smith too, see?
And then, and then after a while they must have gotten kinda tired, I guess, because they sorta stopped fighting and Neo, like, just lay there on the ground and Smith made this totally cool speech, although I couldn't really understand most of it. But it still sounded really really cool anyway.
Smith was like, "This is MY world, Mr. Anderson, MY world!" and me and my friends thought it was really funny that he still called Neo 'Mr. Anderson', because Neo keeps telling Smith to call him Neo, but Smith, like, never listens to him? I mean, if he wanted to insult Neo, then he could've, like, called him Tommy instead, because that's Neo's real name, y'know? Thomas Anderson, Thomas, Tommy...
So anyway Smith did his cool speech thing and Neo just sorta lay on the ground, but then he probably thought it looked really stupid to just, like, lie there in the rain, so he got up, but then Smith did that really cool thing, y'know the one where he kinda sticks his hand into someone and this icky black goo stuff comes out and, like, covers the other person, and then when that person's totally covered, he becomes another Smith? Yeah, it's kinda gross in a way, but it's also really cool.
But Neo can't become Smith, see, because he's The One and all that, y'know? So everything goes into this Matrix code thing and Neo turns orange or gold or something and kinda breaks free, and then the Smith he, like, turned into gets all twitchy, like he's got some bug crawling under his suit, and then he blows up and then all the other Smiths, like, blow up too, and it's really really cool. First all their sunglasses turn sorta green in colour, then they blow up!
Yeah, but Neo dies anyway, and Smith dies too, which is actually really stupid, because then no one really wins, though i guess Neo kinda won 'cause he, like, defeated Smith and freed the humans, y'know?
So there's all this great partying going on in Zion, which is, like, the last human city in the 'real world', y'know? And everyone's totally happy 'cause the war is over and all that, and now they can, like, free the other humans still stuck in the Matrix, y'know?
And there's that old Architect guy, the one who looks like Colonel Sanders, and he goes walking around in the Matrix with Seraph and the Oracle and that little Indian girl, Sati, and there's this totally beautiful sunset over the city that Sati made, and she's like, "Will we ever see Neo again?" and the Oracle's like, "Yeah, sure", which is totally stupid 'cause Neo's, like, dead, y'know? But maybe Sati can, like, see dead people, y'know like that little boy from The Sixth Sense? Yeah... so it all sorta ended there, and the credits came on with this totally cool music and my friend ran off because she really really needed to go to the bathroom.
- end -
XXXX
The Kenselton Hotel
Room 436
Ted Logan wandered aimlessly around the room. He wanted the computer, but Neo wouldn't let him have it. Bored, Ted left the room and went to check out next door.
The door was ajar, so he pushed it open and entered, gagging almost at once at the strong smell of cigarette smoke in the room.
Inside, John Constantine took another puff from his cigarette and glared at Ted.
Ted tried unsuccessfully to wave the smell away. "You really shouldn't smoke, dude," he advised.
John ignored him and went on smoking.
"You might get lung cancer or something heinous like that."
John took out a flamethrower, calmly pointed it at Ted, and seconds later the teen was a smouldering pile of ash on the floor.
"Look who's smoking now," John muttered.
xx
Ted bolted out of bed with a yell. He looked frantically around, then realised he was still alive.
That was a most egregrious dream, he thought, and flopped back onto the pillow.
On the computer, Neo casually transferred five million dollars out of Keanu Reeves' bank account and into the Barney and Friends website.
Whee.
Review? ;P
(Oh, my brother would like you to read and review his fic. It's called 'Left Clutch' and his penname is Jake Skywalker. It's basically about Neo, Ted and John on a ROAD TRIP! ...Uh, yeah. No, I don't get the title either. He's just weird that way.)
