Author's Note: Uh, this chapter isn't exactly a proper chapter, more of a sort of bonus chapter thing because the bit that's actually relevant takes up less than half the chapter, but I kind of got carried away with the after-chapter mini story going on... And I just used the word 'chapter' five times in that sentence. Whoa.


MATRIX REVOLUTIONS: THE OTHER VERSIONS - WHOA

It was raining like whoa.

"Good evening, Mr. Anderson," Smith said. "Like what I've done to the place?"

"Whoa," Neo said appreciatively.

"Yes, Mr. Anderson. Nice, isn't it? And all over there's me. Me, me, me, me."

"Whoa," Neo said in wonder.

"Why don't you surrender now, Mr. Anderson? You know there's no way you're going to win. I've seen it. I know how it will all end."

"Really?" Neo asked in a sudden spurt of vocabulary extension...

"Yes."

"Whoa." ...which was unfortunately short-lasting.

"You don't seem to have a very wide vocabulary, Mr. Anderson. Such is the sign of the pitiful intellect you humans have."

"..." said Neo, showing off the fact that he could say things other than 'whoa' and 'really?'.

Smith ran at him and threw a punch. Thinking he saw something nice and shiny on the ground, Neo ducked just in time and Smith's fist sailed calmly past his head.

"Whoa," Neo said, realising what had just happened.

"Stop saying that, Mr. Anderson," Smith said with gritted teeth. "It's beginning to get on my nerves."

"Whoa?" Neo questioned.

"Yes," Smith said. "That word."

"Whoa," Neo mused.

A second later, he was being pumelled to a squishy, juicy pulp and died in a bloody mess. The founders of eating-celebs at LiveJournal - of which the author is one - looked on in sadness, realising that this meant more damaged meat that could have otherwise been used as a source of ingredients for their famous Keanu Kebabs.


Room 436
The Kenselton Hotel

Increasingly annoyed, Neo hit the button for 'Reload Level' yet again. The first level of Path of Neo loaded up, and he stared at the screen with a much lower level of enthusiasm than he had the previous forty-two times or so.

Ted walked over munching on potato chips and watched Neo play with amusement.

"Whoa, you're still there?" he asked. "I finished the whole game yesterday in five hours..."

"Get lost," Neo said politely, then he swore as he once again got captured in the game.

"Do you want me to help, dude?"

"No."

"Want some?" Ted asked, holding out the bag of chips.

"No."

Ted shrugged and finished off the chips on his own, then left the television side because he found watching Neo play to be an agonising experience.

He lay around the bed for a while, having nothing much better to do. Ted fingered the plastic band around his left wrist: irremovable, something that identified him as the property of the Kenselton Facility for Quantum Research. On the band was printed his serial number: 206/989/LOG.

Bored, Ted hopped off the bed and left the room.

The fourth floor corridors were empty, though the occasional faint sound emanated from behind closed doors. Ted turned the corner, reached the end of the corridor, and went down the stairs to the third floor. Around the bend of this corridor, several men were engaged in low conversation but stopped when Ted appeared.

The teen smiled. "Hows it goin', dudes?" he greeted.

They just stared at him with varying degrees of hostility.

One of them narrowed his eyes. "Get lost, Keanu-spawn. This isn't your floor."

"I am most sorry to intrude, dudes, but I was bored and-" Ted yelped as an unidentified flying object flew by, narrowly missed his head and stuck in the wall, there it was then identified as a very shiny and very sharp knife.

"Whoa," Ted said, looking at it.

"Get lost, Keanu-spawn," the knife-thrower repeated, glaring at Ted.

He got the message. Dejectedly, the teen started walking back the way he had come, speeding up when another knife flew his way. Fortunately, it missed him; unfortunately, it smashed into an innocent bowl of petunias lying on the corner table.

"Oh no, not again," thought the bowl of petunias as it came to an unsightly end.

Meanwhile, Neo had finally finished the first half of the first level of Path of Neo, but was having considerable difficulty in proceeding any further. Somehow, it had all felt easier in real life.


end

Review! (And an e-cup of tea for anyone who figures out what Ted's serial number stands for.)