Summary: Is the cycle broken? Will they do the do? Tune into the...interesting...conclusion of Murphy's Law!
ForgetSpecifics Productions Presents:
A TRAINWRECK
Yang returned home to her shared apartment with Ruby in record time.
Though it was obvious to the younger sibling that her older sister may have felt slightly embarrassed upon her entrance due to several reasons, including:
1. Yang was wearing the same clothes as when she went out last night; 2. Ruby herself had messaged Blake via scroll, and knew she was with Blake, and 3. Weiss had relayed – in a manner that was mostly peeved, but still very much mortified – that she had caught the other half of their team in the middle of foreplay – not to mention Blake flat out lying that they were not doing any such thing before that – and been forcefully coerced into a potential fiscal wedding nightmare while simultaneously having her afternoon slash lunch ruined;
Ruby put on her most nonchalant face.
The best Ruby could achieve though, she knew, was probably between extremely not nonchalant and looking like she needed to pee. Because she was terrible at lying and terrible at letting anything to do with her team slide. Especially when it came to the fact that-
"You're not gonna say anything, Rubes?" Yang asked suspiciously, having seen through her nonchalant-I-gotta-pee face, right before she noticed Ruby inhaling to her maximum lung capacity no doubt preparing to release an incomprehensible spiel. The (still at ages likely not appropriate anymore) red cloaked cookie inhaler received a well-recognised 'don't bother I won't ever understand you' stare.
For a couple of seconds, she looked to be contemplating whether or not she could just say everything that was probably queueing up on the tip of her tongue, so Yang turned to leave her to her own devices.
As soon as she did, Ruby was upon her. Well, up on her. She had jumped on her back and was clinging like a sloth would to a branch. That's what Nora would say, anyway.
Ruby's weight and strength had certainly grown to the point where she didn't want her on her back. Damn that giant scythe and damn their alcoholic uncle for ever letting her have it. It created a sugar-fuelled cute as a button Grimm Reaper that was almost choking her around the neck.
The voice in her ear hadn't matched the appearance of Ruby ever since she first wielded Crescent Rose. "Where are you going?! Tell me everything!" she demanded.
Unluckily, for Ruby, Yang was still stronger. And she'd much rather have a shower before doing as Ruby demanded. Prying off her little sister's arms was child's play – she had grown up dealing with this kind of thing – just as peeling the excited ball of energy from her back by the red hood was executed efficiently enough for Yang to be rid of Ruby long enough to dart into the bathroom and lock the door.
She let herself breathe a sigh of pride and relief, noting a loud thump on the floor. She picked up that stupid foot stamp from hanging around with Weiss for so long; it was almost endearing. Almost.
"Yaaaaang!"
- ..- .-. .-. ... -.- .-. ... / .-.. .- .—
When Yang finally deemed herself ready as she would ever be to talk about the best sex she had almost ever had, with her little sister that was begging to know – ew, why though, she pondered – she exited her bedroom to come face to face with her assailant from earlier that day.
Weiss.
Yang honestly would have preferred that dickbag from the sidewalk incident. Only a little.
The Ice Queen had her coldest stare directed at Yang, and Ruby, well, she had another face that just looked like she was still yet to pee.
Okay, she'd prefer the dickbag a lot.
"Sit." Was the only word Weiss decided to grace her with. Not even a hello? Probably still huffed about earlier, Yang supposed.
"Seriously? What is this, an interrogation?" She sat down anyway. Only because she told Blake she'd explain to Ruby what had happened. It was kind of a big deal.
Ruby shook her head manically. "Of course not! We just really wanna know what's going on with you!"
The most unconvincing answer award would always go to Ruby Rose.
Yang could feel her eyes rolling before she had even spoken, because, really, it felt like an interrogation. "Me?"
Icy blue eyes narrowed in annoyance, "Stop it, Yang. Tell us what's happening with you and Blake! I have no time for your conversational banter!"
Yang blew a raspberry out of the corner of her mouth, disappointed, "To be straight with you, I don't really see this as a conversation I want to have with my sister."
Ruby completely missed her partner muttering 'there's nothing straight about this situation', flashing a disgusted look at Yang.
"You can spare me the NSFW stuff, yuck! I mean, you and Blake! Weiss said she'd," Ruby confusedly looked at her interrogation partner, "uh-"
"I graciously offered to pay for yours and Blake's honeymoon!" irritated, Weiss finished Ruby's sentence.
Even though that wasn't entirely accurate, Yang was more concerned as to why Ruby was bringing it up. "Ah, so?"
She was starting to feel like she'd never let Ruby and Weiss question anybody for any reason if need be. Before Yang could even get any further in figuring out this weird situation, the apartment was filled with a knock from the door. And then a crazy amount of louder whacks.
Her bullet train of a sister left the couch and Weiss showered in rose petals as she opened the door, revealing team JNPR – Nora still trying to bang on the wood – to her confusion.
"Sorry we took so long, I pressed the wrong button on the elevator by accident," Jaune said sheepishly as he was ushered in by Ruby.
Nora pushed past them both, gleefully shouting, "RWBY AND JNPR UNITE!"
Pyrrha actually addressed Yang as she took a seat next to Weiss, brushing the rose petals away, "Hello again!"
"Sorry about Nora," Ren cringed as the orange-haired maniac leapt over and landed in an armchair. Ruby darted back and squished herself next to Pyrrha.
Yang was beginning to regret sitting down. Everybody was here, because of Weiss no doubt, to talk about her and Blake, no doubt. Although, to her credit, Weiss certainly had cornered her. Blake was going to be relieved Yang was about to deal with this without her.
Yang took her time glancing at all her closest friends in her living room. "This really is an interrogation, isn't it?"
Jaune cleared his throat gawkily, obviously taking his role as leader and speaking for the rest of JNPR. "Ruby and Weiss asked us to come over to...discuss what's going on with you and Blake."
So far, 'her and Blake' kept being brought up. Nobody seemed to elaborate on this. Why did everybody need to be in on this discussion? Why were they all…so calm? She had only ever, and in confidence, told Ruby about how much she liked Blake. Sure, she openly flirted with her in front of them all, but that wasn't a reason for them to be suspicious nor be included in this discussion.
"And what is going on with us? Everybody keeps saying it and not actually telling me what they think is happening!"
Slowly, her interrogators all collectively looked at each other, nodding once. What the fuck was going on here?
In unison, they all said, "You're going to ask Blake to marry you!"
What. The. Fuck?
What.
The.
Actually flipping fuck were they talking about?
Yang was almost going to laugh at the absurdity of them saying that, least of all in sync. But then she noticed that they were all…serious.
"Ah, I think there's been a mistake," Yang groaned into her hands. This was so weird.
Weiss looked at her accusatorily, "You told me you wanted me to pay for your honeymoon, did you not?"
"I did! I didn't say that I was marrying her, though," suddenly she realised why they had all assumed. It kinda sounded like they were going to get married. She also suddenly was very happy Blake wasn't part of this trainwreck.
"Well, this is awkward." Ren stated quietly, though that did not retract from its clearness. The most understated statement aware was going to Lie Ren.
"For the love of," Yang stopped herself short of swearing, since poor JNPR was dragged into this unfairly anyways, "let me explain.
Blake and I went out for drinks last night. Short version, I was teasing her and said something dumb, and she got pissed off and left. I stayed, drank a lot, and then went to her apartment to see if she was awake so I could apologise. I was just a bit drunk, and still the short version, I went up the fire escape and in the window. She was awake, I apologised, she was happy. She made a dirty joke and kissed me, but before we could get to the good part, I kinda," embarrassedly laughing, Yang continued, "fell asleep on her. But she put me in bed and when we woke up she wanted me to make up for it. So, we were going for it,"
"Ew." Ruby interrupted.
"Sorry Rubes. Speaking of, Ruby messaged Blake about me since I was supposed to go home, which we soon figured out was because Weiss was waiting for Blake to meet her for lunch and they were conspiratorial and ruined everything. Weiss called, and Blake tried to cover up that she forgot, but she was literally at her apartment being a sneaky little sneak!" Weiss scoffed like she was offended that she was a freaky spy, Yang glaring at her as she tried finished her story, "and so I went out there to literally fight her because I really wanted to-"
"EW!" Ruby covered her ears.
"Yeah yeah. I only let Weiss live because I got her to promise to pay for a honeymoon for me and Blake so we could make up for the interrupted-"
"Yang!"
"But I never said I was going to actually marry Blake!"
JNPR engaged in a silent conversation, through stares only. Pyrrha felt it was best for her to ask, "Forgive me if I'm intruding, Yang, but why were you so upset that Weiss interrupted you?"
Ren added, "It does seem rather…rash. Even for you."
To say she was amazed that they were questioning her actions would be pretty accurate. Why wouldn't she be angry?
"I had every right to be mad!" she said vehemently. Though it was personal, she'd come this far with her story, they might as well know they'd failed at their attempts at intimacy, "I couldn't even stay awake the first time, and then I couldn't even make it up to her," Yang admitted abashedly.
Everybody, sans Ruby and Weiss – and Jaune – looked stunned.
"What does your first time have anything to do with this time?" Jaune blurted, oblivious.
"First time?" Nora incredulously gasped. "You mean you guys haven't done it yet?"
Dejectedly, Yang sighed, "Unfortunately, no. We haven't."
"REALLY?! Wooooow!" the boisterous hammer-wielding burst into a fit of giggles. To which Yang promptly sent a scathing look, which swiftly ended the mocking, and changed her tone.
Nora chuckled nervously. "This whole time, we thought you had! Next you're going to tell me you're not even together-together!"
"Uhhhh, we aren't?"
Welp, this trainwreck was blowing up in their faces. How had they not known this?
"Oh my GOSH!" It sounded like Nora was dying. For real.
Seriously, how did they not know? Sceptically, Yang turned the questions on JNPR, "I can't believe you guys assumed all that. Why didn't you ever ask me? Or Blake? I never noticed any of you mention us in that way!"
"We never did, that's why!" Jaune laughed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Nora snorted. "But we did tease Blake about how much she obsessed over you, like, all the time."
Yang's jaw involuntarily opened in offense for her partner. "Is that why she wanted to avoiding talking to you guys about us? Guys, what the fuck?!"
A more important question arose in the forefront of her mind, amidst the absolute chaos.
"Ruby, Weiss, you know we aren't together! Why would you think we're suddenly getting married?"
Ruby absentmindedly touched her fingertips together nervously, not even convinced with her own answer, "We kinda thought you'd both stopped pretending you weren't in love and confessed and wanted to be together forever?"
"Obviously we've all jumped to conclusions here. I'm sorry, Yang," acknowledged Pyrrha. Sweet Pyrrha, she could never stay mad at. Although she was quite sure that the teasing that was mentioned was mostly Nora and Weiss' doing, so probably could forgive Ruby, Jaune and Ren pretty easily.
Yang shrugged, letting her anger go. "Thanks, Pyrr. Although this was frustrating as hell, it's still not really comparing to being zero for two with Blake."
"Not that you'd want my advice, but I think if you're organised enough to figure out a perfect time, you could spare yourselves of any interruptions," Weiss casually offered, heading into the kitchen.
Why should she listen to Weiss? She made this problem into a huge mess. The free honeymoon was just a start on what she'd have to pay back for it. Yang blew another raspberry and shouted back at her, "Make me a drink, you crazy stalker!"
Ren raised a finger in thought, "If I may?" Yang nodded, since he was likely the most wise of them all, "maybe you would be better off waiting for the right moment to present itself."
"Like, not think about how badly I want it even after waiting for years, just so the universe will be nice and let me have it?" Yang translated her own interpretation.
Ren smirked his little ninja smirk, nodding.
They all laughed when they heard the unsatisfied cry of Yang Xiao Long.
- ..- .-. .-. ... -.- .-. ... / .-.. .- .—
It had been weeks since the impromptu trainwreck chaotic interrogation failure, and, even though Yang had diligently followed Ren's suggestion, she and Blake were still at two strikes on the scorecard. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
She thought this would have been easy. Easy peas-y, lemon squeeze-y. It was more like difficult difficult, lemon difficult.
While Blake had been very grateful she had avoided being present for it, she wasn't that grateful. Especially when she was told that Nora laughed about it hysterically, and they all laughed at Yang being punished by some otherworldly force that cringed at the mere idea of a sexual relationship between them. It had only made to greaten her concern that they were doing something wrong.
Never having been a woman of much patience, Yang decided she'd have to bring up some sort of discussion about it sooner or later. Tonight, all the gang would be meeting up once again for drinks and hangs – Ruby's lame name of course – and she had gone over to Blake's in the afternoon to just be cutesy and couple-y before it.
And touch her butt.
They were lounging on the couch, Yang staring at reruns of cooking shows while Blake lay on her, reading. Of course she was reading; in that position Yang would never understand how, she shouldn't be comfortable. But neither of them were complaining.
Maybe because Yang was indeed touching Blake's butt (the possibility was there).
Yang turned the television off. If the universe wasn't going to get her laid, she'd do it some other way. "Blake?"
Yellow eyes met purple. "Is it time to get ready?"
"No, I just wanted to tell you something," the blonde effortlessly used her strength to bring Blake level with her. Mostly because dragging the svelte body over her own was just the kind of something she was thinking about.
She was not afraid to disclose this. "Blake," she used her most serious tone, "I've been waiting for the right time for us to try again. If I have to keep waiting for some sort of miraculous sign, I'm gonna go insane."
The Faunus gave a coy smile. "I was wondering when you were going to bring this up," she muttered as her attention was directed back at the novel. Surely a book wasn't more interesting? No. Yang would not be jealous of some paper and ink.
Almost like she was reading her mind, Blake leant over Yang's head to deposit her book in a safer place. But Yang was devious, and trapped the form above hers in place.
"Ah, boobs. Such a blessing," she breathed from the depths of Blake's covered cleavage.
Blake recalled a time when she had been in Yang's cleavage, and flatly warned, "Be careful, you might suffocate in there."
"I'd die almost happy, then," was the retort. Blake felt hands tugging her back to a less face-suffocating position, to which she obliged. Hands then brought her face closer to tempting lips, to which she obliged again. Because over a short amount of time, she'd really come to enjoy kissing them.
"Come on, do you want me?" Golden eyebrows waggled suggestively, "or do you want to read a lame book?"
Trying her hardest not to react to the overactive eyebrows, Blake jabbed, "You're lame." She was only avoiding the question to avoid a potential failure. As time had passed since their last attempt, she had only grown more nervous in spite of her sexual frustration.
But it would be completely rude of her to brush Yang off, she knew, so she asked, "Why are you so eager all of a sudden? Why now?" but was shot look of disbelief, like she had grown a third set of ears.
"Well," was Yang's cocky reply, "it's not 'all of a sudden'. I think about it a lot." Blake decided to ignore that when she went further. "And why not now? If not now, when? We can just find a good time, like now, and-"
"This is ridiculous. I'm not planning when we're going to have sex," she cut her off, "that's creepy, Yang."
"Creepy? Blake, is the word you're looking for organised?" Yang retorted, more a statement than a question.
"You sound like Weiss," a pause. "You didn't ask Weiss?" That was totally more a question than a statement.
The two were now locked in a face off that consisted of trying to look more offended at the other. Yang was sporting more of a caught-red-handed expression, though, as Blake knew that that was exactly what Weiss would have told her.
Still, obviously the brawler was not going to go down without a fight, and was attempting to salvage her 'well laid plans' (because that was a fucking awesome pun if anybody asked), "Not that I did-"
"Please, no." Was the shut-down.
Yang tried again, "Hypothetically-"
"I said no."
Meeting a hard state from narrowed eyes, she grumpily gave up, feeling more than just lame. "Well, hypothetically, her advice sucked!" Dumping Weiss' idea seemed to have created a more receptive Blake, and she figured she might as well just find out what the other woman wanted to do. "If you don't want it planned, how do you want it?"
"Spontaneous." It sounded like there was no room for argument in the request. Obviously conflicting since demanding spontaneity was way too ironic to bother mentioning.
Yang went the easy route, just going with persistence as her best bet. "How about right now?"
Blake exhaled, knowing she was about to disappoint with her requirements, "But I also want it to feel right," all their failed attempts had left her more than worried. "As if the planets have aligned, and it was meant to be; romantic crap like that." She truly didn't know if she was doing this for their own good or not. It was getting really hard to tell.
She almost thought that her partner had reached her limit on this topic, emerging from a thinking face with the stupidest grin ever. The stupidest stupid grin™.
"I got it!" Yang happily exclaimed, hoisting them both into a sitting position.
Not bothering to clarify on that, too taken in her own genius, Blake eventually had to prompt her. "Got what?" she probed doubtingly. What could Yang have come up with that was that good?
"I know how to know if we should do it right now. 'Rock, paper, scissors'!" Hands fluttered as if presenting themselves in a flashy dance.
The feline woman swatted the obnoxious appendages away, trying to convince herself it was a bad idea to turn this into a scuffle for such a dumb plan.
"How the hell is 'rock, paper, scissors' going to help us?" she all but yelled.
Now bouncing up and down, Yang disregarded her frustrations entirely. "Just do it!"
Adopting a deadpan face, Blake started, "I'm starting to think we should just get married and go on an all-expenses paid trip, thank-you Weiss, to somewhere very secluded," regaining her composure. "Actually, maybe, I'll go alone. You can stay here and play 'rock, paper, scissors'."
"Babe, I got this!" Yang confidently assured. She wasn't going to let it go.
"Yang-"
"Blake," hands gripped her shoulders, "throw down."
This didn't even make sense. In any way.
"Rock," Yang baited, fist balled.
If anybody asked, she would say she was coerced into playing. Because no sane person would comply with something so futile.
"Paper," Blake joined, half-heartedly.
"Scissors," they both spoke and chose their weapons in tandem.
Keen eyes assessed the result, and just as was expected, "It's a draw, Yang. It didn't help."
"Nope," wild hair shook in disagreement, "the universe has spoken. We both chose scissors!" Yang gleefully cried, crudely jamming her own spread fingers to fit with Blake's, akin to…
Oh.
Oh.
"I can't decide whether to be impressed or hate you," she choked out, overcoming initial…shock, slash disappointment.
The other pair of 'scissors' went to work 'snipping' against her own. "I thought the universe made it clear that you should have very hot, and probably badly executed sex with me."
…tempting.
Arriving at the one, solitary, viable conclusion that Yang had no way of knowing for sure that she'd have gone with scissors, Blake Belladonna let her have the victory. Because it worked, and, it was so very Yang. But…
"Only if I get to be on top."
"In your dreams."
"How did you know I-" Blake spluttered, quickly realising that Yang hadn't known and that she'd been tricked twice in thirty seconds.
"…dream about it."
She let loose a rumble of exasperation, opting to stop digging her own grave. "Just kiss me."
And that's exactly what she did. Yang's lips and tongue could work in tandem to take her breath away in such a short amount of time, she was starting to believe that the scheming fiend would have had her screaming in less than the ten minutes she had promised.
"I'll do it." The lips spoke.
Dumbfounded, her own let out, "Huh?"
"I'll do it," Yang said earnestly, "you said I would have made you scream in less than ten minutes."
Well, if she had said it out loud without even noticing, then she probably wanted that, right?
"Please," Blake said, voice laced with want.
Yang chuckled, "You realise we have to go out soon, right? I don't want to start something we can't finish. Uh, again, that is."
She ceased her laughter as her now determined, soon-to-be lover grabbed her shirt and took off towards the bedroom, almost struggling to keep up.
Blake showed off her own sexy grin, "Oh, no. We're not leaving until I'm finished with you, Xiao Long," snickering as the other woman tripped over her own feet upon hearing the news.
It was more like a Cheshire cat grin.
- ..- .-. .-. ... -.- .-. ... / .-.. .- .—
"Sorry we're late, guys," a somewhat flushed and hurried Yang announced, as a casual Blake trailed in behind her at a much more relaxed pace.
As they sat in their usual seats among Ruby, Weiss, and team JNPR, the Ice Queen was visibly not impressed with the apology, "You're an hour late. How on Remnant do you manage that?"
Nora was giggling next to Ren, an almost empty glass of her favourite craft mead in her hands (along with the other empty two on the coffee table), snorted, "You get lost, Yang?"
The blonde barked out a brazen laugh. "Very funny," she said sarcastically.
"Only a Xiao Long," though she said one name, Weiss pointedly looked at another – another who just happened to be the other Xiao Long by blood. Whom stuttered a shocked and offended 'what do you mean?' in her weak defence.
"Yes, Yang got lost," Blake cut in. Nefarious innuendoes filling her mind – like she could help if after what they'd done – gave her the most brilliant opportunity.
This was her moment. Blake finally had won. Everyone had tortured her about them. Made fun of her sexual desperation. Laughed when Yang fell on top of her in this very seat. Laughed when they had found out they hadn't had sex once at all over the years when everyone thought they had, let alone had been interrupted trying to. She was going to make them feel her savagery for it all.
They had no idea what was about to befall them.
"Between my legs."
Drinks were spat out unceremoniously; with an "I'm sorry!" from Pyrrha, for Jaune, jaws dropped, gasps were had – almost violently.
VICTORY!
Blake was treated to the best thing she had ever seen. Second to Yang's face buried bet-
No! Blake internally stopped herself to instead to voice these brilliant thoughts. This would go down in history as the day she ruined their lives.
"That was the best thing I've ever witnessed. Second to Yang's face buried betw-"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Ruby – and even Weiss – squealed loud enough to make all her ears ring, with JNPR all frantically yelling and flailing about like fishes out of water.
She looked at her partner, elated.
"Blake," Yang whispered in her ear, "marry me."
A/N:
...
yes I am implying Blake sat on Yang's face
I hope you enjoyed the ride. Super happy to have finished this off. And for the longest chapter of the whole story.
It was a one chapter joke that spiraled out of control, but I'm kinda glad it did.
I opted to omit the dirty stuff we all love, because this truly isn't a well constructed story and I have something much larger planned that I should begin/put effort into. So maybe keep an eye out for that. I might do progress updates on tumblr if people wanna head over there and follow there (same name). Because boy it's hopefully gonna be a big one!
See ya next time, and, thank you to every single reader and those that have left feedback. 'preciate ya.
