AN: Whooooa long break. Sorry. I can't even apologise, that's how bad I am. Well, I can. (SORRY!!!!) But… I can't find an excuse… Well, I SHOULD be doing something else (cough cough homework) but… it's so DULL and BORING…. And this just popped up… yay!


CHAPTER 12: SLEEPLESS

Are you content… are you content… hate her… like… every other person… life?.. life?... life?... content… are you?... hate… hate… hate… life…

"Hate… hate… I hate…you… Kikyo…Kikyo…" Kagome murmured, encased in a coat of sweat, turning restlessly on her side, not knowing anything in her delusional half-sleep.

Beside her, Kikyo froze. She had been keeping watch ever since Kagome had fallen asleep, having been tired out so much by the time in that room. Kagome had been turning restlessly all night, so Kikyo did not pay much heed to her sleepy murmurs, since they didn't make much sense anyway, and were mostly filled with words like "Inuyasha", "Gramps", "Sota", "Sango", "Mom", "Miroku", "Shippo", "ramen" and so on and so on. But now… it seems her subconscious has taken on a new direction.

Kikyo held her breath, hoping and yet half not-hoping to hear more. After all, there was nothing she could do, right? Well, nothing short of murdering her little copy in her sleep. Which, of course, was out of the question.

After what seemed like aeons, filled with more delusional words from Kagome, and the rustle of her clothes, nothing else seemed to live in those dead moments. Kikyo did not know how long she had been holding her breath, but the moment passed, and Kagome's words were once again centred on "sit", "ramen", and "Kirara".

She's just dreaming. Or was she? Kikyo had no way of knowing. Was it really meant as a sentence, or did she just say words that were randomly disconnected?

Kikyo decided to put this in the long, long list of things to consider while trying to straighten her mind out. And as she returned to that list, an event came to mind that she had neatly forgotten. When she had just been resurrected… Didn't she bind Kagome to a tree? And made her watch as Kikyo nearly dragged Inuyasha to Hell?

WHAT WAS I THINKING?? She inwardly screamed. Then she thought of her own answer, Nothing. But I know that… I would do it again... and again… and again…

Why? Why indeed?

It is the cruel fate of a priestess to suffer. For the purity you contain, you must have an outlet, a punishment, for all the sin you don't commit… I'm weak. I don't blame her if she does hate me.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\

Thump. Gahhh.

THUMP. Dammit.

THUMP THUMP.

"Inuyasha, let us sleep, will you?"

"Keh."

Inuyasha slumped against the tree he had been kicking. Poor tree. It now sported several scratches and a large dent. Frankly, Inuyasha couldn't care less what the tree looked like. To him, a tree was a tree. And a Kagome was a Kagome. They just couldn't be anything other than what they were.

So why wasn't she being what she should be? Eg here, and not missing the Gods know where.

"Keh."

How come he never missed Kikyo this much? Cuz you were under an enchanted sleep, idiot. Great. Now his own mind insulted him. Just great.

He was sorely tempted to punch the tree again just to show it that he could, when it occurred to him that perhaps trees couldn't really converse… Not normal trees, anyway. He had seen some pretty freaky trees in his day… But that's another time. He was currently in this time. And nothing was being done because right now he was currently devoid of any motivation to progress on with his Naraku-bashing.

How come he wasn't missing Kikyo as much?

"Feh!" He punched the tree. THUMP.

"INUYASHAAA!!!!!! Stop 'Feh'ing to yourself and either settle down or I'll make you!"

"Yeah, Inuyasha," a sleepy Shippo mumbled.

"Shaddup!" An increasingly red Inuyasha grumbled. He once again settled on the tree branch, fiddling with the sleeve of his robe. There was no way he was going to get any sleep tonight.

His mind decided to torment him some more. Which do I like more? He didn't know. Kikyo was… Kikyo, and Kagome was… not here. A fact that Inuyasha found more irritating by the hour. Minute. Second.

'KEH!!!" THUMP.

"That's it!"

An irritated Miroku with bags under his eyes hopped his way to Inuyasha's branch and thumped him on the head with the blunt end of his staff. Then yawned.

"G'nighty-nighty." And hopped back down to the ground.

NIGHTY-NIGHTY??? Was this monk weird, or what? Well, he was half-asleep…

Do I say weird things like that when I'm asleep? I wonder…

And so the sad-fated half-dog-demon looked out to the sky at the twinkling stars, perplexed at this long, sad adventure most of us refer to as… life.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\

Kikyo felt sick. Maybe having some time alone wasn't so great after all, as the full impact of her life(s) hit her. First was disbelief, of course. How could she have gone through all that… in her first life?

And then, brought back… she had turned into a mere shadow of herself, consumed by hate, no longer the Kikyo everyone knew her to be. Kaede had known. Kaede had noticed, when she visited her. No wonder the old priestess wasn't all to happy to see her; in fact if Kikyo had met herself then, she'd probably have purified herself and sent her soul straight to Hell, no questions asked.

No point sticking around if you're as tainted as she was. Or, was she still tainted?

Hate had passed now, but Kikyo no longer felt pure. Frankly, she couldn't care what happened to her now, she was as dead as any Dead could be. She was willing to accept her Fate and accept Hell, but she had so much to do… Leaving was not yet an option.

Her eyes fell on the sleepy form of Kagome. She had previously thought that girl was a sick joke of the Gods, sent here to ridicule and mock her, to always shadow her. For what was she, if not an imitation? Imitations can never be better than the original. The only case of that ever happening would be when the imitation stopped imitating the original, and became an original in itself…

"Umm, is there food around?"

Kikyo turned to Kagome, only just noticing that she had now awakened.

'I'm not sure."

"Oh yeah, we got moved again, didn't we…" Kagome patted her head, trying to get her hair in order.

"We can go looking, and seeing where we are, too, if you'd like."

If you'd like?? Was this Kikyo, or did someone abduct her and plant a nicer, indecisive one in her place?? Kagome stared once again, at Kikyo, who was still thinking, and not noticing anything at all around her.

"Uh, yeah that'd be good." Kagome lamely added, after a few missed beats.

Kikyo got up, still staring off into space. "This looks like the same place we were before, you know…"

"So does that mean we're still in that whatsits Goddess' realm?" Kagome rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"…Perhaps…"

"What do you mean? We're where we were before, aren't we? I mean, look at this tree, it's the same! And that's where we stayed! I know this place!" Kagome twirled around, enjoying sunlight for the first time in what seemed like days.

"I meant, if we were ever in the Goddess' – if there is one – realm in the first place…"

"Huh?" Kagome stopped short.

"I've been feeling strange ever since that time we first met her – she felt distant then. Then Yasei came, and she felt… more whole, nearer."

Kagome blinked. "So, when Yasei was closer, the Goddess took on a stronger form?"

"Yes… my senses were better too, when Yasei was not around."

"So it was all… Yasei?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps he is only a medium for a stronger force. But whatever it was, he was definitely the channel through which most of the evil energy flowed – and possibly still does."

"And… he said he was her servant to put the suspicion off him. He kept us believing. And all the time I was feeling really dizzy, too."

"You noticed earlier that you drained of strength after any major event… Right? It could have been that he was stealing some of your own strength, seeing as you're untrained and harness somewhat formidable powers, easy to tap into,"

Hey! What does she mean by THAT?? Kagome fumed.

"And, since we're still here, I daresay that he – or whatever was controlling him – is still keeping us captive."

"Naraku?" It was the first thought in Kagome's mind.

"I don't know, but this is… not Naraku's style,"

"I guess…" Though neither would put it past Naraku, it didn't seem right… Nothing seemed right.

"I guess someone has to ask this. How do we get back now?" Kagome sat down with a sigh.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\

I have no idea… Sango gave a grim look towards Kirara.

"Piu?" Kirara backed away from Sango's scary look.

"KIRARAA!!!!!!!" Sango fell sobbing against her beloved cat demon. "I don't know what to dooooooooo.."

"Piu!" (you're mishandling me!)

"Pyooo!" (oww you're heavy)

"But… I've left. And I can't go back, now can I? But I miss them so much! And I might never see Kagome again! And without her I'd never see Kohaku either!"

The scary night came back to Sango. The clouds, Kohaku's blade whirling through the thick air, Father's look as the blade bit into his back…

"…Help me Gods…" Sango sagged against Kirara, muffling her thick sobs in the shiny fur.

The sky gave a shudder, and rain, sweet drenching, wash-away-everything rain poured down on all those lucky, or unlucky, enough to be still outside.

Kirara settled into her giant-cat form, sheltering her master from most of the clear raindrops.

From the shade of a tall, tall tree, a young freckled boy, in almost the same outfit as Sango, looked on… I wonder who she is… and why I remember her…

His own master would want him back soon, so the boy couldn't stay. But as he ran through the dark woods, he still couldn't erase the images of that girl from his mind.


AN: WAAHA! DONE! Gosh, it takes so long for me to finish one chapter. Mainly cuz I do one bit one day, then leave it, then maybe half a week after - the next bit, and so on and so on, so I end up with infrequent chapters – but at least they make sense. Can anyone else feel the story coming to a close? I CAN I CAN OOHOHOOH ME!

Well – I have been mightily inspired by the Chinese music I am listening to (yes I know – I am a TRAITOR to JAPAN!)

BUT – I am also inspired by MOON Kana – one of the ONLY female J-rockers (and the best one I reckon) If you ever feel like something weird, wacked out and not making any corrigible sense try –Me Ga Haetashiki- by Moon Kana, or just Kana.

And also, praise to the mighty Kaori Yuki, creator of Angel Sanctuary, my latest infatuation. HATTER IS MINE!!! That is all, oh great readers! If you feel like telling me about your own musical indulgences – feel free! I am a music addict!

Is it just me, or do other people think Visual Kei is the greatest thing to happen to Japan since the frills and ribbons (and manga)?