Chapter 9-
Steve had been in D.C for a couple of months now and finally got to courage to see Peggy again. He could hear Emerson's voice saying. "She would want you to visit her. She probably spent most of her life after the war trying to find you." Playing repeatedly in his head. Eve though Emerson was the last women he wanted to think about, he couldn't get her out of his head. When he told Natasha that they broke up, she was ready to find the blonde women Steve opened up to and tear her a new one. Especially when Natasha liked the other women. Now she was on a mission to find Steve a new girl to help him get into the world. But Steve didn't want another girl, he wanted Emerson. And he knew Peggy would be able to help him. Which is why he found himself standing in front of her door at the nursing center. Knocking on the door he heard a soft come in.
Opening the door, he found Peggy Carter sitting on a chair looking out the window, letting the sun hit her face. She hair was still perfectly styled, but instead of of brown her hair was sliver.
"Steve Rogers? Is that you?" Peggy said turning towards the guest standing in her room. "This better not be a cruel joke."
Nodding his head. Getting a better look at the women, she may have had more wrinkles but her eyes were still full of light. "Yes it's me Peggy."
"You're alive! Oh it's been so long, so so long." The new version of Peggy, that Steve would have to get used to said, as she slowly began to stand up tears forming in her eyes.
Walking over to her, he grabbed her arm to help her stand up. "Well I couldn't leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance."
Pulling the man she thought she would never get to see again into a hug. "You're late."
"I got caught up with some things." Steve said hugging her back. "It's so good to see you again." Looking at the table he saw a picture of her husband and two children. "You did good for yourself, Peggy."
Nodding her head, she began to sit back down. "Mhmm. I have lived a life. My only regret is that you didn't get to live yours." Watching Steve's face turn from happy to sad. "What is it?"
"For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right. I guess I'm not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders, serve. It's just not the same."
Peggy chuckled as she watched the super soldier get worked up. "You're always so dramatic. Look, you save the world. We rather...mucked it up."
Shaking his head. "You didn't. Knowing that you helped found SHIELD is half the reason I stay."
Taking Steve's hand in hers, she shook her head. "The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over. And you get that chance. Don't muck it up."
"I think I already did." Steve said looking at their hands. He no longer felt the spark that he used to when he and Peggy were both young. Stealing light touches when they thought no one was looking. "There was this girl that I fell for back in New York, but I think I pushed her away by scaring her."
"What did you do Steve?" Peggy asked looking at Steve with her head tilted to the side.
Sighing, he ran his hand down his face. Wiping the tears that were threatening to come. "I told her that I loved her then a month later I told her that I was moving here to D.C. She was the best thing that happened to me when I melted out of the ice. I met her and her son at the park and things just fell from there. But then I pushed to hard to make our relationship work, when she was scared about where our relationship was going. I see that now. She has her son, who probably hates me for abandoning him like his own father did, to worry about."
Nodding her head, Peggy listened to the man she once loved talk about the new women in his life. Pushing away the bitter feeling, knowing that she would never get the life she wanted with Steve. She moved on, he can too. "I think she does love you, but you being who you are she is afraid to let herself love you. You could be with her one day then the next, she'll be thinking your dead after saving the world. At least that's what happened to me."
"I didn't even think of that." Steve laying his head down on the table.
"Of course you didn't. You are horrible at anything that comes to women." Peggy said patting his head. "Now get up and call her. See if you can fix this."
"My friend made me delete her number." Steve said mumbling into the table.
Shaking her head. "And you don't think your super solider memory couldn't remember 10 bloody numbers."
Quickly pulling out his phone. "Your right."
"Of course I am. Aren't I always?" She said watching Steve dial Emerson's number.
Steve was waiting to hear Emerson's voice, but it was a man voice who answered. "Hello this is Emerson's phone and she doesn't want to talk to anyone right now."
"Uh sorry." Hanging up quickly Steve looked over at Peggy. "A man answered her phone."
"Now Steve don't think the worse. Maybe he's just a friend and they are going to eat fondue." Peggy said smiling softly trying to cheer him up.
Nodding his head giving her a soft smirk. "Yeah your right. She'll call back if she wants to right? I shouldn't push it. That's what got me into the situation in the first place. He said she didn't want to talk to anyone."
"Then respect her wishes. If she wants to talk to you then she'll call back. Now get out of here, your dramatics are making me tired."
"Yes ma'am." Steve said kissing her cheek lightly. "Do you need help getting to the bed?"
"No I can manage on my own. But thank you Steve for visiting. Come back soon, and hopefully one of these times you'll bring her with."
"Lets hope."
Back at Emerson's apartment she was with her best friend since second grade. Sean was in town for a couple a weeks and was crashing at her apartment. The two had each other's back ever since Sean punched another little boy for making fun of Emerson's name. But now the two live on different sides of the country. As he moved to Dallas, Texas to go to med school. They never really saw each other, as much as they wanted. Only seeing each other when they could, normally it would happen when Sean would fly out from Texas when he had a break.
"So your ex boyfriend called." Sean said as Emerson walked back into the living room.
Sitting on the pull out couch, that Sean was sleeping on. Emerson grabbed the pillow that was next to her. "Steve? Wh-what did he say?"
"I told him you didn't want to talk to anyone and he said sorry, then hung up." Sean said handing her phone back to her. "Do you want to call him back? Figure out what he wanted?"
Shaking her head. "No I can't do that, it'll hurt too much. Hearing his voice."
"But it'll be good closure. Isn't that what you always say." Sean said giving her his trademark smirk. The smirk he always gave someone when they knew he was right.
"I don't want closure. I want him." Emerson said looking at her lock screen that was still the first picture they ever took together. Her smile was so big as Steve's arm was wrapped tightly around her waist holding her close. "I messed up Sean. He probably doesn't even want me back after how I hurt him. Its just the last guy I fell in love with knocked me up then we had an on and off relationship, until he decided that Liam and I weren't as important as the new rad job he just got. Then a few months ago he left his son for fucking Germany!"
"You know Steve is not Josh." Sean said shaking his head. "He tried to figure out how to still be with you and Liam. It was you who didn't want to figure it out because you were too afraid admit that you are in love with him. If this was any normal break up you wouldn't be crying anytime anyone mentioned Steve around you."
"I know this Sean! I am just horrible at relationships and now the best guy I could ever wish for is gone. And I doubt I will ever seen him again." Emerson said falling face forward towards the pillow. She began to cry her heart out, something that she's been doing a lot during the past month.
If Sean wasn't there she didn't know what she would be doing. Sean had made her go out, dropping Liam off at her parent's house for the weekend. He tried everything he normally did after one of her break ups. Gave her drinks, food, and guys to flirt with. The drinks and food were the only things working. Any guy that would walk up to her, she compared him to Steve. Either he was too tall, too short, not blonde enough, too scrawny and his personal favorite eyes don't remind her of the brightest star on the clearest night.
"Alright Em, I need you to stop crying. This is not the Emerson I know. The Emerson I know, is a strong independent single mother who does not cry over a guy. I need you to suck it up and forget about him."
Looking up at her best friend. "You are a horrible at this."
"Well normally I don't have to deal with this. Do you want to go shopping? I'll buy you whatever you want. Its the only thing we haven't tried yet."
Shaking her head. "No I don't want to go shopping, I want to go on a road trip."
"We are not going to D.C." Sean said pointing his finger at her. "That is the last place you should be. We are trying to get you over Steve, not back under Steve."
Throwing a pillow at him. "Shut up. We never slept together. He is the wait till marriage type."
"Seriously?" Catching the pillow. "What male still hasn't had sex yet?"
Mumbling softly. "Captain America."
Throwing the pillow behind him. "Uh did you just say Captain America? You mean the guy who ended World War II? The same guy they just melted free from ice after 70 years? And the same guy who is now apart of the Avengers? You are telling me that you got Steve Rogers to fall in love with you?!"
Nodding her head slowly, knowing that Sean would freak out as he was a big history buff. It was part of the reason she didn't tell him who Steve truly was until just now. "Uh huh, and I broke his heart. I need to see him again Sean. Please can we go to D.C? We can leave tomorrow morning. I'll call my parents and let them know that we are going on a road trip and that they need to drop Liam off at school on Monday. That way we won't have to rush back on Sunday night."
"Okay lets go on a road trip. But we are definitely going shopping now because you need a hot new outfit." Sean said standing up. "Now get your boney ass up and lets go." And for the first time since he got here, he saw a smile on Emerson's face.
