Summary: Seamus and Hermione may be excellent Ghosters but are hopeless in the face of attraction. Seamus can't stop breaking himself long enough to see Blaise outside of St. Mungo's, and Hermione uses conflict of interest as a shield.
Beta-read thanks to Tanguera! Reviews are very much appreciated!
Review replies are found at the end.
Dear Mum and Dad,
Thanks for the tin of biscuits. Are you sure you aren't magical? They sealed Seamus' mouth shut for a good hour.
Hans toddler is chewing everything in sight, there's sections of soggy drywall everywhere. Once they found out Mindy never fails to pass out in my lap within 15 minutes, I've been designated the Sunday night babysitter. It's hilarious and a little sad how sleep deprived they are.
Met Marcus again, this time when he had to defend himself magically against his paramour's husband. Didn't even know she was married. Poor guy just can't find stable women, it's the third time we've ended up taking him to the pub with us.
The Weasleys are doing well. Ginny and Harry eloped. Molly wasn't happy at all, until she found out Gin's two months along. Yes, Ron and I are all past everything. Though it's hard to coordinate our schedules to just catch up, they keep changing the dates of his public appearances and I never know when my cases will wrap up.
...
Seamus checked his watch obviously. Hermione hid her smile when he signed 'Shut up.' discreetly to her, and instead drawled out, "Dental hygiene is a personal choice and responsibility." His besotted future-wife was also tiring from the mediation and repetitive explanations of the wizarding world, to her accepting if not offensive fiance; who had finally stopped asking about brooms and wands, and moved on to warts and bad teeth.
Seamus rubbed his hands over his hair, fluffing up the gelled coiffure, while exhaling a string of fucks. Hermione buttoned up her black suit jacket, casting a warming charm against the chill of the night.
"Better than Amanda and Jack."
Seamus shoved his hands into his leather jacket. "Not by bloody much. Merlin, I need a smoke." Hermione flicked his cheek. He flinched away. "Not saying I will."
"It's a disgusting habit, and you'd never keep up with Blaise if you did. You'd be puffing and wheezing like an octogenarian." Hermione smirked at the red tips of her partner's ears, and it grew wider when he muttered.
"Might be all hype."
She laughed and twirled, enjoying the space of their empty side of lamp-lit cobblestone. "Only one way to find out!" Their black muggle dress-clothes pulled the black of night in close, the lamplight barely keeping them from fading into the darkness. Seamus knew the endorphins of a closed case were hitting her hard, enjoying random movement and glint of jewelry before becoming invisible for moments between pools of light. "Blaise looked ready to peel your robes off with his teeth the second time setting your leg." Seamus punched her shoulder before responding.
"Yeah? If Marcus squeezed up 'gainst you anymore last night, you'd be riding his thigh."
Hermione licked her lips and moaned, "His thighs. Too bad we always catch him as a case." She hooked her arm through the crook of his elbow. "Nevermind boys. Curry?" Seamus let the pull of side-along apparition be his answer.
Blaise irritably twirled his wand, waiting between Hermione and Seamus for the muttering man to be led gently to a bed. The Janus Thickey Ward was desperately in need of expansion, and a another botched obliviation just further emphasized the crowding issues, the beds so close together that maneuvering patients required a deft hand and practice.
"Not your usual quality of work." Hermione scowled.
"Not ours. His boyfriend didn't know the difference between a swish and a flick, thought you would want to check him over before I tried reversing what I can." Zabini ran a few diagnostic spells before nodding.
"Whatever you can do for him is better than this drooling mess." The healer watched Hermione perform the obliviation reversal with crossed arms, then halfway through uncrossed them and leaned forward eagerly. As soon as she finished, Blaise excitedly asked. "What the hell was that?"
Seamus frowned, replaying his partner's casting. "That's what we usually do for obliviation reversal."
Blaise levitated a Quick-Quotes Quill and parchment as he started examining the patient, who had stopped muttering randomly and was asking lucid questions. "That was in no way the standard oblivation reversal." Hermione stepped back as much as the next bed allowed her, nervously wringing her fingers together.
"No, Seamus and I add in a few extras but it's all been documented. We never liked how bare-bones the standard was. All approved by our supervisor Christoph Hans and with low-level 's a mild long-effect remembering charm similar to Remembralls, basic charms to encourage hydration and blood circulation, a rune some healers use for detoxification, a focusing charm and a modified pensieve spell to sharpen day-dreaming." Blaise snorted, taking over the quill to make chart notations, before directing the orderlies to take the man to be examined by another healer.
"You've just potentially emptied a bed with your extras. I want you to do the same with a few other botched Oblivation patients." Seamus made a face at Hermione, nodding his head at the exit towards his escape, not getting far when Blaise placed himself bodily between the Irishman and the door. "Both of you." Then the healer pinched Seamus' ass, smirking at the yelp. "Go on."
…
Thanks for the knitted blanket, you've really gotten quite good. Please recommend the best yarn brands to get, I would like to keep Molly busy knitting for her brewing grandchild.
Marcus is doing well, and he manages the Statute of Secrecy by being televised during the games, but keeps away from endorsements. It would be difficult explaining how he disappears during the off-season if he were more recognizable.
…
Seamus sighed. "Flint, mate, you've gotta try something new. Whatever you've been doing obviously isn't working. Now Hermione, she's sensible, find a sensible girl, all Hermione-like." Hermione slowly pressed her foot down on top of Seamus' toes, trying to grind the bones into a fine mess of white fragments and gore. To his credit, Seamus didn't wince noticeably and just shifted in his seat beside the rugby player. Who was looking at Hermione with a rather warm grin. Seamus had his mouth open to say more, then frowned down at his phone vibrating across the tabletop. It glowed purple indicating a magical call re-routed from the Floo fireplace in their office. "Seamus Finnig - " Through the tinny speaker against Seamus' ear, Blaise's usually soothing tones were strident with an obvious command before the call ended. "Well, he's in a fit." Hermione made to slide out of the booth but was stopped when her partner held up his hand. "Don't bother, he didn't say anything about needing us both. I'll see what's what and let you know."
Hermione found herself left alone in the booth with a very handsome muscular Marcus Flint, a bead of sweat inching slowly down her spine. So started the most stilted conversation she had been party to, which devolved to arguing over caliber of athletes between the wizarding and muggle world. Hours later, Hermione breathed a sigh of relief as she leaned back on the door of Christoph's walk-out basement suite. It was very annoying having feelings for a case, and there were moments where she had problems maintaining a grumpy attitude throughout all his attempts to chat her up. Especially when she wanted to squeal and climb him like a tree. She didn't have time to dwell on it.
Seamus' head floated in the green hue cast by the flames. "'Mione, that idiot Poole lost control of a basic Obliv, and he's been taking steroids and enhancers. So because he can't get his cock workin', he Obliv'ed over twenty people in his blast radius. Come help." Hermione shook her head to mentally right herself and walked into the fireplace. At least there was a better explanation for the mindless rages the senior Obliviator would go on.
Upon his suspension, there was a subsequent flurry of reallocating Poole's cases and general responsibilities. While the other senior Obliviators jockeyed for political power, the active work most times ended up on Hermione's or Seamus' desk. The work tripled following the suspensions of two more senior Obliviators, once Hans figured out they were incompetently attempting to steal credit from his junior Obliviator team for closed cases. On the last reassigned red file Seamus broke his other leg.
Seamus heard the snap and crunch, when the little girl's accidental magic ceased and her molesting three hundred pound step-father came crashing down from the ceiling. The grim concentration sharpened his face as he sweated through the pain, erasing evidence of the young witch and her daughter from their abuser's mind. Hermione softened the terror of the abuse without taking away the knowledge of their memories, and accompanied them to the Muggle Liaison Office to arrange for emergency housing, sparing her partner a stern look. Seamus grimaced, then apparated to the lobby of St. Mungo's, gritted through the levitation to an examination room, before manfully fainting at the sight of Blaise entering the room.
A large manila envelope dropped onto the desk in front of her, causing her quill to flutter. Hermione looked up to see the toothless grin of her landlord and supervisor Obliviator Christoph Hans.
"What's that?" Seamus asked from his sprawl on the floor, trying to catch up on the medical paperwork Blaise was insisting they filled to document their brand of Obliviation reversal. He was just halfway through the theoretical background of their detoxification rune. Hermione cautiously picked up and opened the envelope at Hans' raised eyebrow. She read the top page. Stopped. She read the top page again, then flipped through the rest of the document.
"My period of incarceration is over."
Seamus squawked, "Incarceration?" and his pile of parchment shifted and avalanched down as he tried to scramble upright. Hermione thought her voice was rather wooden, but distantly she thought that was quite appropriate given the circumstances.
"I argued on your behalf, based on your behaviour and work record to date. It was this or awkward questions during the ceremony when they gave you a useless medal." Hermione felt herself laugh but couldn't hear her own voice over the roar in her ears. "However, you will have to vacate my premises by the end of the month. Keep up the good work." Humor tinged Christoph's Austrian accent, and Seamus had given up trying to understand the senior Obliviator's sense of humour. He also gave up shaking his partner's shoulder, trying to break her out of whatever trance Hermione was in, and just snatched the papers out of her hand to read.
He snorted. "Oh! When you said incarceration, I thought they were going to lock you up. Well obviously you're getting what you deserve. Finally. I never thought it was right that you were punished, granted you're a brilliant Obliviator now. Urk!"
Hermione yanked him in closer by the neck of his shirt. "You knew?" Seamus pried his shirt out from her fingers and leaned back to inhale.
"Fuck's sake 'Mione, course I knew! It's in your public record, I wanted to know what our records said after academy to see what they'd be lobbing at us. Just figured you didn't want to talk about it." Seamus didn't really know what to do with a sobbing witch, so he just kept awkwardly patting her shoulder, until Hermione pulled away to wipe her tears and helped him right his collapsed pile of parchment. There was time later to be angry at herself for keeping non-secrets from her partner for no reason. "And it's bloody good timing. I've been wanting to move into this larger flat and with you as a co-lessee, it'll be peanuts."
The landlord agreed to a lower lease amount after Seamus broke his leg chasing down the non-paying tenant, who happened to be a parkour aficionado. Blaise had a right to be angry since he'd only declared the leg healed the week before.
"Finnigan, I'd be much obliged if you can manage to stay healed for longer than a week. Then I can finally invite you over for drinks and roger you senseless." Hermione struggled to contain her giggles as Seamus coughed frantically to clear the spit he had choked on; and because he had no shame, Blaise continued. "You will find it worthwhile putting in the effort of not breaking yourself, once you're sitting on my dick."
Hermione howled.
Marcus' fourth girl was rather sensible, a connection from his charitable efforts, until her brain broke when he tried to explain and demonstrate magic to her. Thankfully, the athlete had planned in advance and arranged for both Hermione and Seamus to be present during the explanation, rather than calling them in the aftermath.
"We see it quite often. Logic and science is prevalent in muggle culture with the misconception that magic has no place in coexistence. I'm very sorry Marcus. She was lovely." Marcus ran his hands over his hair growling in frustration, before yanking Hermione in to kiss her bruisingly, then stomping off to disapparate. She was so shocked that Seamus had to violently shake her for a response. Hermione's finger-tips hovered over her tingling lips.
"Guess you didn't notice the bird could've been your twin?"
Hermione couldn't help but feel disappointed at the owl she got later, in the middle of unboxing volumes of Arithmancy reference texts.
Sorry about kissing you. Can we go on like it didn't happen? -MF
Seamus cursed when he read it over her shoulder. "That motherfucker."
Review Reply: In no particular order...
Solareclipse29, riaroo400: I'm glad you're enjoying this so far, thank you for reading!
sunset oasis: Haha, I consider my job well done anytime I make someone mash the keyboard over a character. I admit that I love my sassy side characters!
Aphrodite-Venus-u.k, PaigeAdams5972: I was a little worried I was over-stuffing the last chapter, so thanks for letting me know it was still a good read! Also worried about this one but I think it works... somehow. (Seamus is this story's peanut butter and helps hold it all together)
