There was a smoothly molded igloo jutting out into the sky, on top of a mile wide shard of ice sitting on a rough ocean of Navy Ocean, floating with the currents and rolling with the waves. Two red shocks of light hurtled across the sky, one, visibly an airborne Ferrari and another a sleigh smoothly sailing along the winds as if flight was a normal thing. Kyle was breathing heavily. Fists white against the wooden finish steering wheel

"We are going to crash!" Bebe screamed, clasping Kyle's shoulders as if this would stop the car, "Stop, Kyle!"

"I can't help the speed!" Kyle lied, flooring the accelerator "I have to get my brother back!"

"Kyle" Kenny looked at his best friend, "We're not angled right if we want to live from a crash landing"

"I DON'T CARE!" Kyle screamed, "This is all your fault!"

"How the fuck is this MY fault!" Kenny put his hands on his hips, a funny sight for someone who was seated.

"Boys" Bebe tried, eye on the rapidly approaching ice bank

"Kyle" Kenny tried, "Please slow down, You're clearly tripping acid"

"YOU THINK I'M ON ACID!?" Kyle spat at Kenny, eyes glaring daggers at Kenny, "look at what is around u-"

The car lurched, the bonnet crumpling as they met the ground, skidding and rolling onto the roof and back onto the wheels, like a badass would in an action movie, rocking to a stop.

"Well, kids" Kenny awkwardly stretched, "Let's save Ike"

Kyle stared at Kenny, "You ran over that pedophile's animal!"

"He probably isn't a pedophile" Kenny replied, "His name is Santa, you Jewish person"

"I think it's a little creepy that a grey old man sneaks into people's homes" Kyle said to Kenny

"He doesn't go around molesting children, you're thinking of Father Maxi and that other dude who's been in jail for the last ten years for molesting Butters!" Kenny rolled his eyes, "All you have to worry about is one god and eating specific holiday relevant food such as no food on Rosh-shana"

"Roshana is a holiday where we eat apples" Kyle deadpanned, "celebrating the new year, you're thinking of passover"

"Can we please go save Ike" Bebe leaned to the front, "He's probably getting mauled alive"

With that, the trio exited the car and made for the igloo, when a miniature elf vaulted onto Kenny's face, arms and legs wrapped around him.

"AHHHH!" Kenny faltered, "Get it off!"

"Stay still, dude!" Kyle clamored, looking around for a weapon. Bebe frantically looked at the llandscape and started to lose hope, her chest tightening in fear.

"Kenny!" Bebe screamed uselessly, "Kyle! Look!"

"Help me!" Kenny tried to claw at his face, writhing in terror

Kyle looked at Bebe's pointed finger and followed where it was pointing. A field of multi coloured differently themed candy canes littered the fields of snow

Kyle leapt onto a cane, yanked it free "Hold still, dude!"

As if at a session of gold, Kyle reared the cane and swiped hard, sending the elf wind milling into the sky, screaming in a high pitched voice.

"I will get youuuuu!" the high pitched shriek bellowed into the distance

"Kenny!" Bebe and Kyle rushed to Kenny's side

"Dude!" Bebe looked at Kenny's face, with nail scratches all over him, like a cat

"Dude, they Killed Kenny!" Kyle clasped his own head in fear, shivering despite the cold

"I'm okay!" Kenny sat up, a bit dizzy, "Dude, you can have my coat"

Kenny and Bebe noticed Kyle was wearing just batman underwear and he was shivering violently.

"Thanks, man" Kyle smiled sweetly, taking the parka, looking visibly relieved.

The trio barged into the igloo and saw a massive hoarde of midgets only two feet tall standing along a conveyer belt and wrapping gifts furiously and in sync.

"Wrap!" a chief warden elf only a centimeter taller had a whip "Wrap"

If someone fell out of sync, they would be whipped and screamed at to "WRAP!"

Bebe surveyed the scene and saw Ike struggling with a rectangular parcel, "IIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKEEEEE" Bebe screamed

Ike glanced up

"Get out of my factory!" the familiar old man voice screamed from a rom invisible to the trio.

"Just give me back my little brother!" Ike glared, not as menacingly without pants on.

"No" the voice jeered

Ike dropped the parcel and started for their direction and the others started to hold him down, luckily, Ike was already growing and towering over the elves and five foot Bebe.

"Let GO of me!" Ike roared and flung someone off his arm

"You shan't" various elves started to drop what the were doing and try force Ike back, but it was clear Ike was winning, until someone in a white robe grabbed him by the back of his shirt and lifted him up.

"Oh Christ" Kenny clasped the bridge of his nose, irritated, "I am tripping so hard on acid right now"

"You shouldn't disobey my ah-" the robed man scratched his head, "Relation!"

Kyle snorted in laughter "Just give him back"

"No!" Santa stepped into view

"Why not" Kenny asked, "because he wont have sex with you?"

Bebe kicked Kenny in the shin, Kyle just glared with an open mouth.

"You ran over my best deer" The grey man said solemnly, ignoring Ike's struggling cries from under the growing mount of miniature elves.

"He was dead already" Kenny tried

"-And left the moose to die" an Asian elf glared at Kenny sharply, "You three haven't been very good"

"Excuse me" Kyle answered, "But Im Jewish"

"Check Ike's wee wee!" Kenny chortled

"Kenny!" Ike shouted, appalled at the betrayal

"I'm sure others have done worse, have you ever researched on the Vikings" Kyle said

"Yes" most of the Elves chorused, then a brief silence.

"Can I have my brother back?" Kyle asked, "Please?"

"No, you cannot" the fat man said

"You can have Kyle's car!" Bebe shouted, "just let us and Ike go! Easy!"

"HELP!" Ike's screamed

Kyle shoved a nearby elf who fell over in shock and ran towards a set of steps.

"You… shall.. not… PASS!" Santa wheezed, making a run for Kyle. Kyle ignored the clearly unfit Santa and belted up a set of stairs. Bebe and Kenny made chase after Ike.

"GET THEM!" Santa bellowed, sending a wave of elves after them, all gathering make shift weapons from the toys conveyer belt.

Then the mayhem started, everyone started thrashing and throwing elves off with ease and prowess.