"Deadpool, why are you avoiding the question?"
"You don't like it?" Deadpool sounded very sad all of a sudden.
To make it worst, there was a group of people staring at the pair. There had been a group before looking at the spider in his suit and tie. He was especially easy to see up on the lamppost.
"I, I just don't know what to say" Spider-Man took a step back and gave Deadpool another look at "it's very, um, very colorful?"
"Yeah, I was going to wear blue, but I realized that we might match a little too much." Wade was just having the time of his life underneath the mask. He put his hands on the spiders shoulders, wishing he could take off both masks and look at the lovely spider directly in the eyes, but, what would he do if he saw all the scars and marks on the mercenaries face? Deadpool just couldn't take that chance.
Spider-Man moved his head in a way that made it so obvious that he was rolling his eyes.
"Oh, so sassy" Deadpool joked, pinching his face, trying to lose the tension of the situation. He was sure Vision would be able to tell how awkward this was.
"Well, ," Spider-Man said, some-what more comfortable with Deadpools strangeness, "shall we go inside?"
Deadpool honestly felt butterfly's in his stomach. The spider not only finally got the date moving along, he had, very bravely, moved out from underneath Deadpools hand, and had put an arm around his side, and held an arm out to gesture to the door.
"Oh yes! Shall we?"
Deadpool was so excited he almost felt like he was riding pinky-pie into the sunset.
Stepping towards the door, Spider-Man reached out and opened it, allowing Deadpool in first.
When they both got in, Spider-Man saw that it was rather fancy, for that part of town at least.
A man came over and just stared at the two for the longest time. Eventually one of the waitress saw him staring at the pair. She walked over and gave him a little shove. He stumble and went into the kitchen. A few seconds later, the sound of laughter was ringing in the pots and pans.
"I'm so sorry, he's new here and well," she paused, trying to word it just right, "we don't get costumers as, interesting, as you"
"Its my shoes, isn't it?" Deadpool stuck one foot out and reveled pink fluffy step-ups shoved over his oversized feet.
The waitress gave a little laugh before taking them to a table and handing them each a menu.
They both opened the menu. Spider-Man tried to ignore all of the stares but he felt as if there was a weight on his shoulders. He took a glance over to Deadpool and it seemed like he didn't notice all the people.
(truth be told, Deadpool was almost shitting himself he was so nervous)
"So Spidey, watcha ordering?" Deadpool was trying to break the silence.
"I dunno, I'm wanting something sort of spicey, what about you?"
"I'm thinking an enchilada or tamale"
"What about those, what did you call them, chimichangas?"
"Their ok, not the best, just a fun word to say"
"Oh" was all the spider could manage.
"How are you two doing?"
The waitress had popped out of nowhere, making the two men jump. They both were on edge and weren't really paying attention to their surroundings.
"Fine, just fine, thanks" they both said in unison.
"Ok then, what do you want to order?"
Spider-Man spoke first.
"Um, I'll have a Sprite, no ice, and, uh, the uh, chicken tamales, extra spicy"
"Ok, so what you want toppings on that?"
"Um, yes all of them. Please"
"Sure thing and you?" The waitress had turned to Deadpool.
"I'll take the same thing, thank you"
Deadpool quietly swore to himself. There he is, trying his best not to give away how fucking sweaty he was, sitting across from what had to be the most adorable (and only) arachnid he ever met.
But to make matters even more stressful, there was his ex, as their waitress! Of course she didn't know that the Merc with the Mouth was Wade Wilson, for all she knew, Wade was dead, but there was always that slight chance that she might recognize his voice! Oh GOD was he freaking out!
"Okay than I will be right back with your drinks"
As she left, Deadpool relaxed, and turned to his date to see the spider had also turned his attention to his date. They both were on edge.
Deadpool tried to break the awkward silence.
"So, uh, you don't take ice in your drink?"
"No, it takes away from the soda. After about 10 minutes all you have left is a sweaty glass of a water-soda thing"
"Ah, never thought about it that way"
They almost fell back in silence but before they could the waitress had come back with the drinks.
"Here you go, your food will be here in a little bit"
"Thanks"
Deadpool had been quite for the entire conversation between the two.
Spider-Man had noticed this but just shrugged it off as being nervous.
So, they both sat there in silence.
(Now, I'm not all to good at writing so I'm going to skip the silence to when they get food)
"Here you, two go" she had seen some strange costumers, but these two topped the list. She wasn't quite sure what to call them.
"Will you be needing anything else?"
"No, thank you though"
With that she walked away, to gossip with the staff about them either being actual avengers being kinky, or normal people with a lot of dedication and a huge fetish. Either way it was hilarious.
They both, somewhat stiffly, picked up their forks, and suddenly remembered their masks.
Spider-Man was the first to mention this.
"So, uh, how are we going to eat? Just pulled up mask or full face?"
Holyshit Holyshit Holyshit
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was really nervous.
"Umm, half mask, secret identifies and all"
Deadpool could NOT let the spider see his face on the first date.
So, they both pulled up their mask halfway, Deadpool grabbed the hot sauce and tapped out the perfect amount.
Spider-Man on the other hand had a huge pimple on his cheek. The mask pushed it down so there was no bump but he was trying his best to keep it under the mask while eating.
He was to old for acne! And on, was this an actual date? He wasn't quite sure. Deadpool had said that it was but, he was Deadpool, he always joked around. Was Deadpool gay? He had to be into girls, right?
Peter never heard Deadpool say anything to make him think he was straight, but he wasn't sure if he was gay. He might be bisexual. Peter wasn't even sure what he was. Hey did like Mary Jane, but a few times he had pushed around in the locker room and called gay.
But they knew nothing about him. So, was Peter gay or not!? Argh! He didn't know, was Deadpool actually flirting with him? Or just teasing? Was he enjoying the attention? He didn't fucking know!
(Meanwhile, in Deadpool's head)
'Sure, I'll have the same thing'
Jesus I couldn't have thought of a worse thing to order.
'So, no ice?'
Fuck!
He was embarrassing himself to the core.
God this guy was going to drive him crazy! He never even made a move except opening the door.
Wait, was the spider gay?
(and yes, he has the same long convo with himself about who was gay, I'll give you the short version)
Ok, ok, ok, so, I don't know if Spider-Man is gay or not, I am bisexual, but what about him!?
(Tadaa!)
"Um, ah, soo, what do you think of this place?"
Deadpool was trying his absolute best to not embarrass himself. But simply put, he was pretty sure he was.
"It's ok, uh, foods great, I've never had a better tamale"
Jesus Peter was bad at this. Adding the sexuality on top made this ripe for a disaster.
Peter had to know. He was going to ask.
"Earlier when you told me about chimichangas, that really made me think you were going to buy one"
Ah Peter, he thought to himself, maybe you should be chicken-man instead.
"Well, their not all that good, just a fun word to say"
"Oh"
He was going to a question but both of their phone beeped.
Reaching down, they each grabbed the SHEILD phones and saw an emergency was happening.
Bank robbery, only 30 blocks away. Spider-Man was asked to get there, and Deadpool was told to be on standby.
"Well damn, you'd think they didn't like me"
"Hey, standby just means be ready, doesn't say anything about distance"
Spider-Man was being a little rebellious. He had (almost) never disobeyed authority. He was just trying to sound badass.
"True, I'll get the check"
Deadpool had asked, he'll pay.
"No need, I got it"
This was almost perfect, he got to sound badass and be a gentleman.
"If you insist"
"I do"
"Ok then let's go!"
Spider-Man paid and saw Deadpool climbing into a cab.
"Hey! Why don't you hitch a ride with me?"
Deadpool was in the car, but opened the window and climbed out with a quick sorry to the driver.
"Really?"
Oh god, he didn't think Deadpool would actually say yes!
"Sure," he said, trying sound really chill, "just hold on to me"
So, with all the pink fluff on and Spider-Man still in the suit and tie, they both swung to the bank.
Hey guys, hope you are all enjoying this, could I get some feed back?
Sorry I haven't updated in soo long, lost my phone at a track meet and found it in the buss last week, I'll try to not do that again!
Any ways, the person who gives the best feedback, can name the waitress! I haven't seen many fanfictions that interacts with the readers very much. I'll announce the winner at the end of the next chapter. I assure you, she'll be back, unless you don't want her to.
And please, ask a few questions, I'm around 70% sure I know the answer
