It was the first time since Hogwarts they had seen all of their friends together like this. The home of Mad-Eye Moody was considered the only place safe enough to have a party with nearly all the Order of the Phoenix present. Even so, they all seemed wary and nervous. Each were well tested and tested back on their identities. None shared their current whereabouts or what they were up to, for fear someone was under a spell. It hurt both the Potters to be so secretive, but it was the only way.

They had been so close to being caught on multiple occasions. The last had been the most traumatizing. Severus had been there, and when they made eye contact, she saw he had not known she was the target. Perhaps a test from his master? If so, then he failed. Lily couldn't be sure, but she had though she saw him wave his wand not at her husband, but rather at the Death Eater with his wand trained on her. He still cared, and for that reason, Mr. and Mrs. James Potter were still at large from Voldemort's hold. They were the youngest on the "kill on sight" list the Death Eater enforcers were distributed, which James liked to brag about proudly. All Lily could do was shake her head, not laughing.

But things were about to get much more complicated, for she held an even greater secret. Their lives were soon to include another. It brought her great joy, but also terror. Lily and James Potter were fugitives in a secret war, constantly on the move and ever in need to leave at the last moment. This was no life for a child. She didn't know what they were going to do, and had decided to tell her husband after the holiday.

All she hoped was no one would offer her anything to drink, but that was apparently a too much to ask. Not long after entering the party, Sirius (of course) offered a glass of wine. As graciously, and with as little awkwardness, as she could be, she declined. When he gave her that look she expected, she simply muttered, "I'm sorry, I can't seem to relax, not after last week."

He seemed to understand, nodding sympathetically with a hard look in his eyes, "James told me who was there. He's not worth your troubles, Lil."

Lily knew he was right, after everything that Severus had put her through during school, he was not deserving of her thoughts. The incident after their Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL stood out in her mind. That had been the breaking point. Before, she had looked past his growing prejudice for every other Muggle-born and his odd jokes. All of it had been picked up from his friends in Slytherin, because the Severus she knew had never been so crude, his own father was a muggle for God's sake. But when she joined the Order, she saw him one last time and told him that if he was going to go work for Voldemort (he had flinched at the name) that she would never see him again. The conversation had certainly eased James' mind, the two had never gotten along to begin with to say the least.

"I'm more troubled with how they found us," she said quietly, "we had been so careful, especially after the wedding."

Sirius shrugged, "The Aurors are very keen on finding out their secrets as well. You should speak with Frank Longbottom. He has been having a field day with all these out in the open attacks, it helps us determine Death Eaters from Imperiused. Your attack put Snape on the map as an official Death Eater."

She shrugged, frowning, "A whole lot of good that will do."

Everyone turned when the door opened once more, all had likely kept their eye on the entrances somehow, always thinking of their exit strategies. But the man who walked in was a wonderful surprise.

He was a young man, but quite shabby looking with a long scar on his cheek. That all being said, he was smiling widely, announcing loudly, "I am Remus Lupin, werewolf, and I love American hamburgers."

Next to her, Sirius' bark-like laugh illuminated the room as everyone relaxed once more and rushed Lupin. Remus had not been seen for months and Lily quietly waited with her new husband to give their greetings. When their turn finally arrived, he took them both in his arms and apologized profusely for his absence and any worry he may have caused.

Lily pressed, "What the hell happened to you?"

"Greyback," he answered simply, "he had a spy in the group who recognized me as the Hogwarts werewolf. They knew who I was friends with at school…" he looked to James, "and they likely knew what I was there for. So I had to escape and lie very very low. I was assisted by some friends who I think I may have turned to our side. We've been following up rumors of a new potion, a cure of sorts, that is getting some of the wolves with good hearts some hope."

James' eyes widened, "What is it called?"

Lupin shrugged, "I dunno, but it's being put into testing in St. Mungo's. Hopefully it will work!"

"Even if it doesn't," Sirius cut in, "we will still have your back, Moony!"

Lily and James each nodded their agreement, and moments later, a pudgy rodent-like man poked up between them and said, "It's so pleasing to see you well, Remus, we have all been so worried."

Remus gave him a warm smile and embraced him, "Good to see you too, Peter."

The foursome was back together, and wanting to give James some quality male time, Lily quietly backed off and went to speak with Arlene McKinnon, one of her good friends back from Gryffindor.

James watched her walk off and smiled as he continued his conversations with his friends.

Finally, Albus Dumbledore arrived after spending dinner with the students staying from home at Hogwarts. In those dark times, many parents knew Hogwarts was safest for their children and therefore record numbers of students were staying in the castle, away from their families. It was important that they knew the headmaster was there protecting them.

"The poor souls," Dumbledore told Lily quietly when they spoke, "All so worried for their mothers and fathers. Every time I get that Ministry owl and have to summon a student from class…they know now what it means before they even get there. The last was a fifth year who was inconsolable before Professor Sprout could get her up the stairs. Her father fought the Imperius Curse too well and gave the name of the Death Eater who did it to an Auror. Unfortunately, that Death Eater had been rather green and it had been his first assignment, so when the Aurors picked him up…well…Voldemort knew exactly where to send Macnair. The poor man's wife thankfully wasn't at the house, she was out doing her Christmas shopping with the younger children." He shook his head, "Tragic."

Lily silently let tears stream down her face, this was indeed her greatest fear. And it obviously was becoming quite ubiquitous, "Tragic…" she agreed, and excused herself before Dumbledore could say anything else.

Sirius and James both saw her walk towards the loo, and Sirius bent his head, "You should see what's wrong, she's been out of sorts all evening."

James Potter nodded, "More like all week, actually." and walked slowly to the door. Pressing his ear to the door, he could hear quiet sobs. "Lily, darling, it's me. Open up," he asked gently.

She took a few seconds, he guessed to try to clean herself up, and when she opened the door he saw she wasn't terribly successful. Her face was blotchy, her nose bright red, and her green eyes seemed darker as they shined with tears.

"What did Dumbledore say to you?" he asked as he entered the loo with her and shut the door.

Shaking her head, she wiped her nose and tried to pass off his questions, "Just about all the students losing family members from Hogwarts, it's awful. These poor children walking around not knowing if their mother or father will be there when they come home. I can't imagine…"

"Hey…" James took her in an embrace, "That is why we are fighting, that is why we do what we do. To try and prevent that."

"It's not just that…" she said quietly, "How are we supposed to raise a family in this? We can't live like this if…" and she stopped, not being able to look her husband in the eye.

"If, what?" James asked quietly, but Lily shook her head, refusing to finish her sentence. In a few moments he sighed, "When were you planning on finally telling me?"

She was taken aback, "You know?"

He nodded, "Of course I know, Lily. You have been emotional, you are a terrible liar, and you've been getting sick every morning for the past week…" he looked rather sad as he asked, "why couldn't you tell me?"

"I don't know how we can be ourselves and fight him with a baby…" she whispered, getting more panicked by the moment, "It's not just our lives we are putting at risk. The life of a child without a mother and father is something I wouldn't curse my greatest enemy with. I can't do that to my own, but I can't stop being myself and you cannot stop being yourself. We are fighters, and…and we're too far in. He knows who we are and we will have that target on our backs the rest of our lives. How could we do that to a child?"

James took a deep breath and kissed his wife passionately, then as he pulled away for a moment, he whispered strongly, "No matter what, we will keep fighting, so that this baby has a life without the bane of Lord Voldemort. And should we not succeed, he or she will know that their mother and father fought to the end for what they believed in. That will be our story."

That was enough to comfort her for the time being. Later that evening, a photograph was taken of all of the Order present. Even Arthur and a very pregnant Molly stopped by (with their brood at Arthur's aunt's) for the official photo and to visit with Molly's brothers, Fabian and Gideon.

Lily smiled and waved, finally letting herself think about what could be with the little human growing inside her. She had always wanted to be a mother, and the thought of James with a little version of himself fueled the rare smile. Turning, she saw James had an identical grin on his face. They were going to be parents, all she hoped was that they could survive to enjoy it.