TRIS POV
I hold Tobias' hand as we make our way to the therapy building.
I see it in the distance. I take a deep breath. I am so nervous. Do I really want to be here? No. But, at this moment I just want the nightmares that haunt me every second of every hour of every single f*cking day to leave. I cannot do this any more. I should have went into the weapons lab. I should have let Will shoot me. I should have let Peter shove me off the Chasm. I should have-
"Tris, we are here" Tobias whispers. Snapping me out of my numb state.
"Okay" I mumble. I start chewing on my nail beds as we walk up the stairs. Why am I so nervous? I thought I was Dauntless. I can face some dumb psychiatrist.
I walk up to the woman at the front counter. She is about 5 foot tall, looks like an Amity. Tris, stop separating people into factions. The factions are gone. You are safe. Tobias is safe. Christina is safe. Zeke is safe. Shauna is safe. There is no more war. It is peace time.
Tobias and I take our seats.
"Tris" A man calls through the door. Ms. Myers will see you now.
I walk back, they wanted Tobias to stay in the waiting room. That makes me more nervous than ever.
What are they going to do to me? Am I going to get tested on again? The thoughts race through my mind. I take a deep breath as I walk through the door. I am greeted by a woman who I assume to be Ms. Myers. She is about my height. She wears glasses and her hair is jet black. I notice a lip ring on her upper lip. Dauntless. I presume.
"Hi" She says sweetly. Almost too sweet. "I am Ms. Myers, but you can call me Dee for short. I am going to start out by saying anything you say in this room is completely confidential. Even if someone barged in here demanding answers I would not say a word. I pinky promise." She smiles. I give her a tight-lipped grin back.
"Hi, my name is Tris, though you probably already know." I say, awkwardly. Gah, why a I so weird.
"Why don't we just get down to business. Tell me, why are you here today?"
"My boyfriend, Tobias, wanted me to come. I have been having nightmares and flashbacks, but that is just because I just got out of fighting a war". I say really fast.
"Yes, the war. From what I heard you were quite the hero, Tris. Now, why don't you feel like a hero. You were very brave-"
I cut her off, "Please don't call me that" I am growing more and more agitated by the second. Where is Four? I want to leave.
"I am sorry to offend you" Ms. Myers says. "Now, Tobias mentioned some flashbacks you were having. Why don't you talk me through what is happening during these flashbacks?"
"Okay" I breathe shakily. "Well, I will see something, like Erudite or I will, like, here a word. And I am back to that moment. I can see that moment and it is like I am reliving it. I cannot snap out of it myself. I have to have Tobias to snap me out of it. It is so hard. "
"This will be hard, but can you give me an example of one of these flashbacks. I will have a nurse go get Tobias afterwards if necessary, but I promise. You are safe here, Tris."
"Okay, well I just had one yesterday" Thinking back.
Christina and I were out shopping. She was trying to get me into these 6 inch stilts she called heels. I called them hells. It was so fun. We were shopping. And we see a green dress. "I love it!" Christina yells. "It just reminds me of Will's eyes!" Will's eyes. I was back in the small damp alleyway in Abnegation. I see my mom's dead body. I sob. I see Will. His eyes. He doesn't have a gun this time. But, he lunges at me. Trying to strangle me. I cannot fight my best friend. "Tris! Tris!" He yells. I try to kick him. He catches my foot. I do what I only know to do. I have to get out of here. I run. And then like magic. I was back in the store. Tobias and Christina were both staring at me with worry. Everyone in that store was staring at me with looks of annoyance and pity. This was so embarrassing.
"And then Tobias took me back to the apartment. I took a nap. Flashbacks always wore me out." I am crying now. I am hyperventilating. Why did I tell her this and let myself look weak?
"Tris, you are very strong. I need you to breath. Breath in for 4 seconds. Hold it to the count of seven. Let it out slowly. Now keep doing that. I think our one-on-one session is over for today. Let's bring in Tobias and we can talk to him.
I nod.
What seems like hours later Tobias walks in, his eyes immediately find mine and it calms me instantly. He wraps me in a strong embrace. He sits next to me and holds my small hand in his strong one. What did I ever do to deserve him?
"Hi, Tobias, my name is Ms. Myers. Me and Tris were just talking about her flashbacks. I would positively say that she has depression, anxiety, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD for short. My main concern is her harming herself or others. I am going to prescribe her a anti-depressant, and anti-anxiety and a sleeping pill. It is very important you take these. I also have some breathing exercises I want you to do, just try to focus on the positives in life. I know it is hard. And I know, Tris that it feels like you are drowning and cannot breath. But, I promise. We will get you through this. Your friends, myself and Tobias. I want to see you back in 2 days. I normally would have a patient come back in a week, but Tris, you have a very severe case. It is not your fault. I just want to help you. Take care of yourself. Now, do either of you have any questions."
"Is there anything we can do to stop these flashbacks?" Tobias says.
"I will be doing indepth cognitive therapy sessions to try and give Tris some coping skills incase you are not around." She says softly. "It will just take time."
"Okay, thank you , ma'am." He says.
We grab the paperwork and prescriptions and head home.
1100 words! Guys, this chapter was really emotionally draining for me to write. Please review and follow. I have alot planned for this story, but am open to ideas. Stay awesome, possums.
