"Catch Me When I Fall"
Chapter 2: Responsibility and Poverty
PG-13
1x2
I do not own Gundam or anything of the characters mentioned.
Yoghurt. It stared up at him with shining pink near-gelatine formations and made wet noises when he replaced the spoon thoughtlessly. Heero hadn't wanted yoghurt that morning, nor did he want much of anything. However, the thought that the entire day before had been nothing but a dream drove him to select the same flavour of breakfast as he had in his "sleeping wanderings". He sighed and picked up the container only to drop it into the nearby waste bin, disgusted. Something about the morning was making him feel ill, out of place and overall restless. Had he actually seen Duo the night before? Heero ran a hand through his hair, scolding himself for being so childish as brushing off the bruises on his body from the fight as well as the proof from the folded blanket on his couch that Duo had, in fact been in his apartment. Still the surrealism of the situation and the uncharacteristic nature of the actions he had taken left him speechless.
Duo had been right; people didn't help others without wanting something in return.
The image of Duo standing at the street corner, selflessly handing the paper bag to a small, orphaned child stuck barbs into the theory. Back when Heero had first seen him, Duo had been filled with such vitality that even from afar, Heero (who had never really liked people his entire life) felt drawn to him. That overly wide smile and comfort of motion was something that Heero had never seen in anyone before and when Heero had rushed in to defend that same individuality and opened up enough to offer help, Duo's smile had been absent. The businessman bit the inside of his lip slightly. He'd wanted to have a part of that smile but, without even thinking about it, had ended up erasing it.
It didn't matter, Heero decided after rinsing off the spoon that he'd been using and dropped it into the dishwasher, he'd probably never see Duo again anyway. He paused to stare at his hands under the running water. If he was never going to see the man again, why was he so hell bent on finding him and proving that not everyone wanted something? Slowly he turned off the water and picked up his coat from the sofa, slipping on his shoes at the door. He still had work.
Heero hoped he could focus enough to get it done.
For the next few days, Heero followed the same, expressionless back streets more from habit than in hopes of finding Duo again. After a long, unfocused day at the office, he'd managed to work himself back into the pessimistic mind frame that he'd never possibly see Duo again, much less on the same street. Lighting never struck the same place twice, after all and Duo was as close to human lighting as was possible.
He'd gotten out of work late that night, the sun already long set under the edge of the colony. The shadows hovered just outside the lamplight and seemingly fought to get in so as to become a part of the life it displayed. Heero walked outside the lights, just as it had become habit for him to do. After all, there was no need to display oneself when the thieves wouldn't bother checking the shadows for victims. What civilian in their right mind would wander the back streets of the L2 slums in the shadows? Perhaps Heero wasn't in his right mind. He curled his lip at the thought. Perhaps he was hardly any different than the scum who wandered here beside him.
Passing by the corner store only blocks away from the back of his complex, Heero felt a form behind him and he slowed to a stop, the light footsteps behind him stopped as well for a moment before starting up again. He could feel the heat from the person's body, let it seep through the cold exterior of his coat as he forced his instincts to subside. Whoever this was, it wasn't something that Heero didn't handle on any other usual day. There were lips close to his ear, causing the businessman's hackles to rise, a tenor coo vibrated against the shell and sent a shiver down his spine. "Fancy seeing you here, stranger." The man chuckled slightly and circled around so that he was facing Heero. The silhouette against the streetlight revealed nothing but a thin frame and tied back hair. "What're you doing out this late at night, Heero?" This time the voice was more conversational, but the heavy L2 accent, now more audible caused Heero to listen closer.
"Duo?" When the silhouette shrugged, Heero let out his breath. "It's good to know that you're alright."
For a moment, Duo didn't respond and Heero strained to see his face in the shadows. "I can take care of myself, you know," he quipped when he realized that he hadn't spoken. "I'm not a kid, you don't have to watch out for me." At this the shape of his head ducked down slightly and looked to the side, away from Heero. Bells were ringing in the businessman's head, brows furrowing in doubt. He placed firm hands on Duo's shoulders and slowly walked him backwards into the globe of light, despite his hushed protests.
At first, Duo kept his face down, eyes covered by his bangs, but Heero's urging fingers forced him to look up, revealing a blackened eye and various untended lacerations. Duo forced a smile, seeing the disappointed worry in Heero's eyes. "C'mon, don't look at me like that. It's not like I didn't try."
Heero released him and shook his head. "What happened?" He asked, pulling Duo back into the safety of the shadows as they worked their way the couple of blocks towards Heero's flat.
"Work." Duo replied, hesitant to continue. He thought for a few moments, "The bastard didn't pay."
A sigh escaped Heero's lips, the stress weighing down on his shoulders just as it did his conscience. Where had he been when Duo had needed him again? "So you followed him for it?" Duo's silence answered his question well enough. "I see…"
Duo gave a bitter laugh. "Anywhere else that would be considered rape, but here on L2, there's no such thing. People take what they want with no regards to others. If there's another Babylon, this is definitely it." He scoffed. "Not that God could divide people up much more than they are already: the rich, the poor… all the nationalities and genders and jobs… but it's just the money that matters in a place like this. There's just not enough to go around."
"Where are you staying?" Heero asked, only now thinking that Duo may not even have enough money for a roof and a bed, since all his money went to food for the children he cared for. Duo was silent. "I see…"
"I have a place," Duo murmured. "It's just an empty building, but it keeps out the wind. It gives the kids a place to sleep when it's raining you know?"
Heero nodded, but he knew that his walking companion couldn't see him. He pulled out the key to the outdoor lift and entered. He punched in the pass code number to reach his floor. The lights on the inside, while dim, Gave the businessman a clear view of the damage done to Duo's face, including the split lip and black eye. Heero reached out to brush the dark purple cheekbone and Duo flinched away just as the lift jerked to a halt. "Still hurts real bad," he explained as Heero shook his head and entered into his loft.
Just as they had the first night, Heero cleaned Duo's wounds in silence and then he pulled out the blanket and insisted that Duo take the bed. "I need to talk to you tomorrow," he said as Duo slipped into the bedroom, "So don't leave." Curious, Duo nodded and closed the door and left Heero with his thoughts.
He couldn't believe the things that were running through his head, but more than anything, Heero wanted to help. For the first—no, second time in his life, Heero wanted to put himself on the line to help someone and he wasn't about to take no for an answer.
Light had been shining directly into his eyes for quite some time, but the annoyance hadn't quite struck until just then. The obnoxiously severe red-orange seared into his retinas, causing it quite difficult to fall back to sleep once the realization had hit. Morning light was hard to ignore when you'd lived for so long afraid of the night, hoping and longing for the days to bring some sort of rest. When the light came, you could let your guard down, pretend to be normal for a while. The morning wasn't something to be passed by, but was supposed to remain a precious thing to be savoured like the fine cuisines of which the poor could hardly dream of tasting.
Just like the light, food had become a sought-after blessing.
The bed beneath him was so comfortable, though, calling him back into the first heavy sleep that he'd been allowed nearly his entire life. The man rolled over, willing to take the offering, but upon closing violet eyes once more, flashes of reality forced him back to full consciousness. He'd let his guard down too long and now the consequences were taking their toll. There was nothing more to do now than to get up and try to piece things back together so that he'd have some chance of facing the world outside. So, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, the man made to climb out from under the covers,
Sharp lines of red and blue crossed his vision, temporarily blacked out from the screaming agony of his lower back. The man doubled over his knees, braid falling over bare shoulders as though being pulled downwards by the currently overwhelming force of gravity. Shaky breaths slowly evened out, becoming less rigid as the pain set in, becoming just another pain in a long line of injuries that would go ignored as nothing but "a scratch" or "a bruise." He ran a hand over his forehead and felt the perspiration from his flashing pain in near disgust. On the streets, weakness like that couldn't be tolerated.
The weak died, and that was all there was to it.
With this in mind, the man pushed himself off the bed while he forced the pain from his mind and made his way to the doorway into which he'd retreated the night before with no mind to protest against brief comfort in a torrent of anguish. Now, disconnected from the events, the man traced a small round handle set into deep-coloured wood panelling. Expensive… wood was a luxury that the orphans in L2 couldn't imagine even in their wildest dreams. He leaned in, pressing a shockingly warm cheek against the starkly contrasting surface. The smooth graining seemed to darken in the presence of the man's pale complexion as though it longed to reflect it back to him but lacked the gloss to do so. He inhaled, long and full (all the while ignoring the sharp pains it caused his chest and back) and took in the organic smell. In a world of metal and false landscaping, just a touch of life could prove to be healing and as the man straightened, he could feel the weight of stress lighten just a bit.
The hand resting on the knob slowly turned to emit him out into the hallway and reveal the empty house. Silence filled the flat like a thick and uncomfortable fog. There was too much room in here for comfort… alone there was nothing but danger. Passing through the hallway nervously, the man passed by a mirror and paused to look into it. The glossy surface reflected the swollen split lip and purple cheekbone, daylight revealing the sunken cheeks, as Heero had never seen them in the night. Duo, now able to see the extent of just his facial damage alone, shuddered to think of how he'd looked the night before when he'd run into the flat's renter. He shook his head and turned away from the mirror, abashed and insulted by the image it had shown him.
In the living area, Duo caught sight of a set of clothes draped over the back of the sofa, a small yellow note on top of it reading in perfectly scratched print, "Shower and get dressed; I'm at the store." Duo lifted the note in his hands and sighed. There wasn't much else he could do but follow instructions. If Heero wouldn't accept anything from him—flashes of the first night filled his head almost immediately. Duo could see the shock on Heero's face when he'd started speaking, offering himself as payment just as he always had in years before. He'd felt hurt, insulted, that his payment had been rebuked and discarded as a foolish sentiment. He'd felt his chest seize up with emotion, but released the heavy current of coughing. It had torn at him, ripped him from the inside just as that single scornful look from cool cobalt eyes had bared his soul and his illness at the roots where he'd never before revealed anything. For the first time in his life, Duo felt completely naked to the world, to those striking eyes that refused to let him leave. He knew that if he didn't leave while his host was sleeping, he'd never leave at all. But now, when his choices of fleeing only left him with the slim chance of survival, Duo could only use his compliance with his host's wishes a slight payment to the severe debt Duo had been creating for himself.
Duo collected the clothing and shuffled through the hallway (his back itched all the while due to the wide-open windows in the main room to which Duo had previously had no problem. He could only really place excuse of his ease on Heero's presence, but Duo was loathe to add another debt onto his list and so ignored his discomfort) to the bathroom where he undressed, turned on the shower and soon after stepped into the spray.
The droplets spilled over his shoulders and down his back, drawing a gasp from parted lips. It had been far too long since he'd felt warm water on his skin, comfortably massaging the aches out of his tense shoulders and chest. Duo closed his eyes, looking up into the nozzle as he focused on the areas where he couldn't feel the water. He sighed at this, the account of all his injuries measured up to far more than he'd expected. The man the night before had sure done his damndest to be sure the money he hadn't paid would be well worth the services offered. It was nothing that Duo hadn't seen before… the tearing feeling of muscles and joints were just a price he had to pay for the sins he knowingly committed. It hadn't taken many nights like the one before for Duo to discover that water was the easiest way to find damage done since so many years on the streets had taught him to push out pain and therefore didn't notice most of the time when he'd been hurt. Water, however, revealed it all. Where the wetness couldn't be felt, his body was hurting, whether or not his brain wished to acknowledge the fact.
He untied the bottom of his braid and pulled the plaits free so that the quickly dampening locks could fall around the backs of his knees. It tickled at the joint there, brushing against skin that had once been far more sensitive. Duo reached for a bottle on the ledge of the shower and squeezed out a clear gel, rubbing it in his hair as he inhaled the shampoo's heady fragrance. He couldn't put his name on the scent, though he knew he'd smelled it while shopping in town on the occasion that he'd had money left after buying food for the orphans. Beyond the spicy smell was the slight tinge of salt from the recycled water pouring over his body in shamelessly wasteful amounts. Duo furrowed his brows at this and decided it was almost time to get out, despite his enjoyment. Quickly, he rubbed a bar of soap over his body while he made sure to be careful with the tender areas where finger bruises had been left in his flesh, rinsed and jumped out.
The mirror had fogged up, Duo noticed upon stepping out and grabbing blindly for a towel he knew he'd seen. He couldn't say that he wasn't thankful, since he didn't necessarily want the reminder of the previous night's events. Just seeing his own face again would surely trigger something besides the residual pain of his beating. The man slipped into the clothes Heero had put out for him, suddenly grateful for the feeling of clean clothes against his skin. The jeans were soft, not itchy like Duo's own were and not nearly as worn at the knees and the plain white long-sleeved shirt felt more like they should be for sleeping than wearing outdoors. Smiling slightly as he took the armful of his own clothing, Duo guessed that his host had tried to be sure of his comfort. The man's heart swelled for a moment and then he opened the door only to be greeted with a rustling sound.
He dropped the clothes on the ground and flattened against the wall. Someone was inside the flat. What if the collectors had followed him the night before and had waited until Heero was gone to find him? Duo exhaled, making himself smaller against the wall as he slid down the hallway, brows furrowed and nerves twitching anxiously. Again came the rustling and Duo nearly dove into the living area in a blind dash for the door, but held himself down.
"Duo?" A voice finally called from the kitchen, "Are you done?"
For a moment the tenor didn't register, faint accent not quite recognizable to his ears, though too familiar to discard. Accent… Duo eased and allowed himself to step back out into full view. "Yeah, I'm out." He paused. "Um… what should I do with the clothes I wore here?"
"Laundry bin," Heero called, apparently crouching as he dug for something in the cabinet, "It should be in the hall closet."
Duo obeyed, placing the soiled clothing on top of other articles in a small basket at the floor of the closet before padding into the kitchen where he found his host leaned half way into the cabinet with his lower end sticking out, legs bent uncomfortably. "What're ya' doing…?" He questioned, perplexed, in an effort to direct his attention away from the only visible part of his host.
A hand appeared from inside the cabinet, "Looking for a box," Heero answered with a wave. "Here…" he muttered and pulled himself out, said box in hand. He sighed and looked up at Duo with as close to a smile he'd shown to this point. "Needed something to put that in," the businessman explained with a nod to the pile of grocery bags filled with food and supplies.
Duo laughed in spite of himself. The absurd nature to Heero's joy… if that was what it could be called…. was infectious. "For what? You gonna have a party? I never would've thought it from you, Heero." He threw a mischievous grin over his shoulder.
Heero stood box in hand. "Hardly. Put a jacket on, we're going out."
Walking alone with Heero down the normally empty back alleys, Duo almost felt as though he was living someone else's life. He didn't have to worry about making money, about paying debt, about surviving anymore. All he needed to do was tighten the jacket around him and carry one of the boxes filled with groceries. Before he'd even really thought about the prospect, a smile had planted itself on Duo's face. Something good was finally happening for them. Someone wasn't just there to take and take and take, but to selflessly give to those to whom the world didn't even turn their heads.
"It's not much further now," Duo commented with a wide grin as he checked a corner before turning out of habit. "The kids are gonna be so surprised, Heero." His heart, which had been so pained just hours before now tied itself in anxious knots. "This is like a Christmas for them, or at least as close as they ever got." He slowed his pace a little; they were just about to enter the territory of one of the most infamous group of L2 orphans in that part of the cluster. Duo knew, since he'd been the one to teach them everything they needed to get them by. "Brace yourself now," he warned upon hearing small steps from behind them.
Heero had hardly expected the warning, but right on cue, a small boy bumped into him, only edging away to apologize with largely false emotion. The businessman murmured his reply, only to see Duo place a hand on the boy's head and keep him from running any further. He opened his mouth to protest, but Duo was already talking.
"Tyler, you should know better by now to check company before stealing." The boy looked up, shocked, but soon a wide grin spread across his face to mirror Duo's own. The braided man winked, held a finger to his lips and led the boy on in front of him. Duo himself fell back into step with Heero and pointed at the boy. "Second oldest. Likes to think he can fool anyone." Dumbly Heero nodded and allowed himself to be ushered along these unfamiliar alleys. He had to keep reminding himself that this had all been his idea.
Slowly, as they moved forward through the deep grey city trenches, more children emerged, all of them smaller than Tyler, though most plenty more scuffed and neglected. Heero felt a tug in his chest for one little girl in particular, who carried a small ragged bear by the arm and held a thin blanket closed around her shoulders. She had a hard time walking, her shaking breaths often interrupted by coughs much the same as Duo's. Before Heero could figure out a way to help her, Duo had the girl on his shoulders, holding onto his neck as his arms were filled with the food. Soon after this the pace slowed and many of the children made their way into an abandoned church, scorch marks rising up the sides in sign of past flames.
Duo lifted the small girl from off his shoulders and set her down on the front porch where she coughed and tightened her blanket before sitting in a bony crouch. The braided man stretched his neck a bit before lifting up the box once more, not showing sign of discomfort, despite all the aches and pains Heero knew to be there.
He would just have to watch more carefully….
The braided man was smiling again, quietly climbing the stairs with Heero just behind him, children crowded around his ankles. He leaned into the door, ear against the old, singed surface. "Home isn't pretty," Duo called, his tenor voice rising above the giggles and murmurs of the small kids at his feet. He bit his lip in a smile, paying no mind to the split there, not even giving a flinch in response.
"No home for me," a voice replied from the other side, the slapping of feet against the hard ground echoed for a moment before the doors of the church were flung open to reveal a twelve year old girl who threw herself around Duo's waist. "Maxwell, where have you been?" She demanded, her face buried in the jacket that Heero had lent him. She straightened a bit to look at the jacket and released the man, backing up to take in full view of him. "Where have you been…?" She whistled softly to herself.
Duo smiled and pointed a thumb back to Heero. "It's his fault, y'know. Spoiling me is all."
The girl's brows furrowed slightly and she eyed the businessman who merely matched her stare for stare. This one, out of all of the children certainly seemed pushy enough to be the leader of them all. Heero guessed that the eldest had constantly led the troupe and this girl certainly fit the role. She finally rested on his eyes and gave a solid, almost jealous glare. "He's not gonna do anyone any good if ya' spoil 'im." She warned and Heero could feel his own glare begin to form. What had she expected him to do?!
Thankfully intervening, Duo laughed. "Don't be so hard on Heero, he brought gifts for everyone." He nodded to Heero who blinked and relaxed into a nod.
The troupe leader thrust her jaw forward into a decisively stubborn pout, but ended up sighing. "Alright, Maxwell, but only because you brought 'im in." She rolled her eyes and pointed a finger up at him as though she was the elder of them. "Just this one, alright? We can't bring people here anymore, Maxwell. What'll we do if we get run out of the church? We won't have anywhere to go and then what kind of bad luck would we be in?"
Duo laughed again, his mood obviously lifted from the scolding she offered. "Alright, alright, I got it. No more strangers home without checking in." He gave a mischievous glance to the group of children behind him. "I guess we shouldn't tell them that we brought food."
"This could be good," Cathlene said suddenly through her still childish anger. She pushed her honey-brown hair out of her face and placed the cans and boxes of dried food into the plastic cabinets of the dilapidated church kitchen.
Duo grinned widely and the violet of his eyes sparkled keenly in the afternoon light pouring in from the window. Despite the split lip and black eye he was every bit as vibrant as usual. "What's this? Did I just hear you admit to needing help?" He leaned back recklessly in his chair and ignored the protests of his lower back. "Hell must've frozen over."
The young girl huffed. "That's not what I mean," she claimed with a sharp glare. "I'm saying this Heero guy. We could use him to our benefit."
The braided man's smile immediately vanished and he glanced out of the entrance to the room only to see Heero huddled in an overused chair with piles of children on his lap, sound asleep with full stomachs. Duo stood and slid the door closed as tight as it would go, an inch gap still remained between the door frame and the bottom half of the warped panelling. "What makes you think we should use him? He's trying to help us as much as he can as it is."
Cathlene rolled her brown eyes, "Can't ya' see he's head over heels for you? I don't know where ya' picked this guy up, Maxwell, but I've gotta say your taste is getting better."
"Cathlene."
"It looks like he's got the money to get us on our feet, so I don't see what the problem is if ya' lead him on a little bit."
"Hey," Duo attempted to interject, but the girl just rambled on.
"Just a little tease here and there, offer some of your specialties and you'll have 'im hooked for a long time," She smiled with a wink, "You always said that you could do that to someone, so if you can why not try it now and get us all livin' the good life?"
"Stop!" Duo hissed and Cathlene's smile disappeared. "You can't just take advantage of him like that. I owe this man my life and then some. I'd rather not owe him for anything else."
The girl's brows knit together and her eyes narrowed. "You were aways the one who told us to use the tools we have to get the best results. This guy is a tool, so ya' need to use him for the rest of us."
The man shook his head fervently, "Look, I'm not going to use him!" Duo could feel his face flush with anger. "So far he's wanted to help on his own. There's no reason to lead a guy on when he just means to do good."
"There's no such thing as a good man, Maxwell," Cathlene warned. Her worn expression was as demanding and motherly as any of the orphans had ever seen. The girl's own starvation was apparent on her revealed wrists and along the collarbone where her shirt had been torn by one of many scuffles. "You've taught us all we know, so ya' can't just go against your own schooling."
Duo couldn't believe his ears. Cathlene was actually trying to guilt him into listening to his own advice. He gave a frustrated laugh. "You don't understand, do you? He's different. Heero went out of his way to fight in a fight that didn't involve him. If Heero hadn't have shown up I probably wouldn't be here at all. You need to appreciate what he's done and leave it at that!"
Cathlene fell silent for a moment, her stubborn jaw thrust out as she seemed to size up her elder. Duo couldn't quite read her expression. It seemed like she was entirely re-evaluating the situation. Maybe he'd finally gotten through her thick head. Finally she abruptly said, "You like him."
"What?" Duo whispered, stunned.
"I said, you like him," Cathlene repeated. "You've never made excuses to avoid your responsibilities before."
Scoffing, Duo retorted, "Responsibilities? You're old enough to help take care of this bunch, too you know. You're too old to go out pick pocketing like the rest of them. Why don't you go out and make some money, too? You could probably do better than me with that attitude of yours.
The girl bared her teeth, "Yeah, but then I would just make more of us, wouldn't I and there would just be more and more problems. We're trying to get outta this situation, not dig ourselves in further."
"There's no getting out of this, Cat. We were born rats and that's all we'll ever be. None of us know anything beyond basic reading and writing—some of us don't even know that! There's no way we can work out of this shit. Unless you go to school, the colony won't want to do anything with us but exterminate us one by one."
"So do what has to be done, Maxwell to keep us safe!"
There was a shuffling on the other side of the door and Duo immediately tensed. Heero pushed the door open with a yawn while he held the little sick girl in his other arm. "Is everything okay?" The Asian asked after his yawn. "I thought I heard someone arguing."
Duo smiled broadly over his shoulder, "Don't worry about it. We just had a little disagreement is all." He returned his attention to Cathlene and through a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, told her, "I'm going to do what I can, but within reason. I just need some time to come up with an alternate plan."
Cathlene pouted a moment, but nodded her head and turned back to stocking the cabinets as Duo turned back out of the kitchen.
"What was that about?" Heero asked as he put the little girl back on the chair with the rest of the bundle of children.
"It's nothing," Duo informed him with a shake of his head, "She just forgets how young she is, sometimes and needs to be reminded." He crouched down to pick up one of the last boxes and flinched when his knees nearly gave out. Duo gave a laugh to cover, "Heero, be a pal and help me with this, would you? I think I overdid it a while ago."
Cobalt eyes narrowed and Heero pulled out his wallet. "Duo," he said as he pressed a fold of cash noted into the braided man's hand, "I want you to stay off the streets a little while. You need to recover."
Duo's stomach very nearly dropped. "Heero, I can't take this." He tried to push the money away, but Heero held firm, "I owe you too much and you won't let me pay you back."
"Look, pay me back by getting some rest. Take the money and get these kids some warmer clothes." When Duo opened his mouth to reply, Heero held up his hand. "Please don't fight me. You can't do all of this on your own and trying is killing you." The businessman gave a ghost of a smile when Duo accepted the money quietly, then Heero looked at his watch. "I need to get back for a phone conference. If you need anything…."
Numbly, Duo nodded and Heero warmly gripped Duo's shoulder. "Take care of yourself and stay in touch."
Then he was gone and Duo was left standing in an empty church with only the sounds of content children to act as a buffer between him and hollow silence. What was Heero thinking? He was playing into Duo's hands and the absolute last thing he wanted to do was use the man. Duo blinked once, twice and then shook his head. He suddenly felt tired and with a few airy coughs, the braided man slumped down with the children and fell asleep with a very empty feeling in his chest.
Heero was gone and Duo couldn't believe how frightened he was.