Reflection
A confusing Microfic by Sarehptar
Theme Song: Never Meant to Belong (Shiro Sagisu)
"I think we're dying, un." The way he said it made the man beside him start -not sharply, but enough- and Deidara recognized instantly that "dying" was not something Akasunano Sasori liked to think about. "Does it scare you?" He caught himself asking, and almost wished he hadn't--if this strange ninja had a weakness as big as that... Cold, half-lidded mahogany eyes bored into his own, and the Iwa boy forced himself not to fidget. Then his new partner was gazing through the leaves again, and though he hadn't said a thing, he'd said enough. "It's okay, un. I'm not going anywhere." If his guess had been wrong, Sasori did not bother to correct him.
The sky between the elm branches was a deep blue -so blue it almost hurt- and Deidara couldn't help but wish that the aqua expanse was tangible. He'd like to touch it, just once. It would be like water, wouldn't it? Like a cool and vast ocean, and he'd make ripples on the surface that would span the world. "We're all drowning, un." A bird swooped once overhead, with a high and hypnotic trill; a smile slipped onto his face. "It's a fish, un," and Deidara thought his partner might have been in a good mood because Sasori actually chuckled. Or he made a gritty noise that might have been a chuckle.
"And the trees," the stranger murmured in that voice that was like the grating of sand on stone, "What are they?" All right, this had to be the nicer side.
"They're," the cerulean-eyed man wondered at it, "They're pond reeds, reaching up for the sunlight on the surface, un."
"And the winds are currents."
"Un, un! And we're... We're all drowning." Sasori nodded vaguely, unpleasantly, and blinked up into the expanse, watching the currents tug the branches of the sea weeds.
"You're not really an idiot, are you?"
"Don't tell anyone, un?" The sculptor laughed, the hollow kind that he was so good at. Sasori's cinnamon stare from under those half-open eyelids unnerved him only a little, and Deidara thought suddenly that he could get used to looks like that. The blond grinned, pleased at the way his new companion scowled in return. Turning his attention to the half dead and half blooming leaves again, he couldn't help but think... "I don't mind dying, un. It's like art--all the work and troubles of a life crushed together in one last moment, and then, free!"
"Dying is not art." His new partner's voice was so fierce in that moment that it was hard to imagine it coming from such a innocent-looking little person. "A whole life's work and memories, erased in an instant. How can you call it art? Death is the final end to all endurance... You can't remember those people you've killed, have you?" There it was in a moment, a realization that sent excited shivers down his spine. Akasunano Sasori was an artist.
"Them?" The Stone ninja went back to staring at the sky, but had to close his eyes. It was simply too deep to look into. "Sometimes I see their faces. I... don't remember them, un."
"If it fades away it was never worth anything in the beginning." The scorpion seemed to have no trouble at all staring through the sunlit surface far above. Deidara's smile flickered at the callous remark, but as with everything, his annoyance was hidden well.
"You'll fade one day. You'll die down here, un. Are you worthless?" Deidara did not expect this to be an end to their argument, but he did not really care about what the red-haired man would say. Laughter, sharp as kunai, cut through his disinterest.
"You have to be alive to drown." Deidara noticed that Sasori hardly ever blinked, and wondered how anyone could say something like that with such a slack face. He growled, a little noise that his new partner did not miss, and turned away from that smiling alabaster face.
"Fine then, you'll never die, un, and you'll never see the truth either! Beauty isn't about enduring and remembering, un! It's about the feelings that come over you, the revelation of one moment, the concentration and the way you cannot think at all because you can't see or feel anything else. Art is all about the mystery that comes from gaining and losing -in one second- the knowledge of something flawless and transcendent, un."
"Do you even know what 'transcendent' means?" The scorpion scoffed, but the insult was clearly half-hearted. Sasori seemed to have noticed too that their lives were going to be very different now. "Art, little boy, isn't something that dies. It is mysterious in its strength, its ability to persevere through destruction... Art is the feeling you get when you see something greater than yourself, something that will affect life, has affected life, will go on affecting lives of others when you're nothing but dust. Art is something so detailed, so perfect, so infinite; something so flawless... so transcendent, that you realize you are nothing before it. My works are going to last forever. I am going to last forever."
There was a note of finality in it, and Deidara knew that Sasori felt he had proved his point and would not go on anymore. Looking up through the leaves, the blond realized that through this whole meeting, he had not thought once about their mission or even their organization. As the currents tugged at the weak and rotten branches, plucking leaves and sending them floating up toward the expanse, Deidara couldn't help but feel an odd mixture of amusement and excitement that pooled in his stomach and bubbled through his wide grin. Sasori was looking up too, and seeing the same far-away surface. Though they were two separate people, completely opposite people, weren't they both imagining the same thing, reaching for the same impossible heights? I'll make ripples on that surface that will span the world. His grin slipped even wider. Silently, he turned back to face the red-headed man lying a few feet from him.
"I hate you, un." His partner did not blink, just smiled that soft, false smile up toward the watery sky.
"I hate you too." They were both laughing, dry and hollow and meaningless. This was the first time, the first silent promise to prove. It was a race now, to reach the surface. But really... This was interesting. Amusing. There were so many secrets to uncover, so much to learn and drain amusement from. The cinnamon-eyed man's face fell into a scowl that fit him and did not fit him.
Though they were still only strangers, Deidara thought he wouldn't mind drowning with Akasunano Sasori.
Author's Notes: Inspired by a poem and a picture. Does it confuse you? The idea boggled me for a few minutes. But it's sort of true, isn't it? I'd like to think that on the other side of the sky is a whole other world I've never seen... I sometimes wonder if maybe we're just reflections, and somewhere in the lake, my reflection is dreaming about touching the surface too. So yeah, this is that dream. I hope I didn't kill your minds. Anyway, this was supposed to be very clearly one of their first meetings after becoming partners. I didn't kill their views on art, did I?
To Jazzy Uchiha: Thank you for reviewing, I'm really glad you liked it!
To Ione-girl: Yay, new reviewer! (Dance!) I'm sooo glad you like my stories, and I hope you were inspired! There needs to be way more Deidara fanfiction out there, and it's up to us to make sure us Deidara fangirls always have something to enjoy.
To Smallpox Plum: O.O You wrote me an essay. That is. so cool! Kyaaa, I read like it ten times. You're probably right about the wording of that blood stuff, but maaa, I'm really lazy. I'll get to it, one day... As for the last microfic, I had the same feelings about it. When I first wrote it, I really wasn't that impressed with it, but the idea definately grew on me as I worked on fixing it up. It made me want to give him a hug too. The way his parents died and he turned them into puppets just gave me this really strong impression of a lonely and lost child who dissolvedunder his drive to be noticed and not alone. I love how you noticed the little things--I always get the feeling that I don't make things apparent enough, but I can tell you really... get it! Anyway, thanks for being such an OMGspifflicious reviewer. Did this one give you a headache? It hurt me.