I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created.

Keeping Secrets Chapter 11

Let's Talk

Loren has been sitting across from me for ten minutes obviously at a loss for words. I'm not wearing any make-up so the battle scars on my face are a little shocking. I'm also wearing a short sleeved shirt so the scars on my arms are visible too. I've also managed to put on a little weight. I know my appearance is nothing like it was before I went to jail so I give her a few more minutes to get over the shock of my physical changes.

"You said you were wondering when I was going to contact you. Why?" Loren asks.

"After I talked to Eddie a week ago for the last time, I knew you had some questions for me. I've just been waiting for you to contact me." I smile trying to put her at ease. Loren gasps when she looks at my mouth. I purposely did not put my false upper teeth in.

"My front teeth were knocked out five years ago. I'm getting implants put in soon. I hate those false teeth."

"Chloe what happened to you?" Loren whispers with tears in her eyes.

"Don't shed a tear for me Loren. And please don't pity me," I tell her, "Five years ago I was almost raped. Well wait; let me start at the beginning. After my sentencing, I was immediately transferred to the women's correctional facility. My first night there my cell-mate told me she was a big Eddie Duran fan and she punched me in my face. I screamed and she laughed as she continued to punch me in my face. The guard had to remove her from the cell and put her in solitary confinement for a few days. The next day I had a black eye and scratches all over my face. When I walked into the cafeteria, I was tripped, kicked and spit on by more Eddie Duran fans. And every day after that for six months I got my ass kicked by Eddie Duran fans. One morning I was in the shower and three women jumped me. I was slammed against the shower wall face first, knocking out my two front teeth, and then two women held me down while the other another climbed on top of me; about to rape me. She was a Loren Tate fan. Luckily the guard walked by before anything happened. But that day was my breaking point. Even though I was moved to another cell block, I knew I wasn't going to survive another day in prison much less ten years; five if I was granted parole; so I decided I was going to take my own life. One of my tormentors was singing Eddie's songs, One Day At A Time, and I took it as a sign, I needed to speak to Eddie one more time before I ended my life. I placed a collect call and prayed that he would accept the charges."

"Of course Eddie offered me words of encouragement and told me to save my tears for my pillow. But I knew I wouldn't survive. I asked the unthinkable, I asked Eddie to come visit me. He doesn't know this Loren, but his answer saved my life. At first he said he couldn't come so I knew then that as soon as I got back to my cell, I was going to end my life. But then he changed his answer and said he would try to visit me. That gave me hope, knowing that Eddie would come visit me made me want to live another day in the hell hole. Once Eddie came to see me things changed. I started telling him about myself. My real self, Cynthia Kowalski. When I left Fresno to make it big in Hollywood, I hated Cynthia Kowalski. She represented everything I didn't want to be so I legally changed my name to Chloe Carter and I reinvented myself. Chloe Carter was a do whatever it takes to make it big in Hollywood type of girl. It was life altering to finally embrace Cynthia Kowalski. After that first visit, Eddie came to see me once a month for five years. We talked and laughed, but mostly, he gave me the courage to live another month in that place. I started going to therapy. I even took some online college classes. I knew that modeling was no longer in my future when my back and face were slashed by a violent inmate who was a MK fan."

"Eddie talked about you every time he came to see me or when we talked on the phone." I say smiling at her. "He talked about how much he loves you and that you truly are the love of his life. Eddie lights up when he talks about you. He's so proud of the confident, amazing artist you've become. He told me that he is the luckiest man in the world because he has you in his life." Tears start to fall down her cheeks. "Eddie wanted to do something real special for you on your first anniversary. Something that you would remember for the rest of your life. He asked me for some suggestions. I told him to make it something that only the two of you would know about." Loren smiles. I know she's thinking of that day.

"It was the night before our second wedding, the one with our family and friends surrounding us," Loren begins, "Eddie blind folded me and drove me to a secret location. It turned out to be the Griffith Park Observatory. In the middle of the room was a blanket and picnic basket. We lay on the blanket and watched the show about the constellations then ate the snacks packed in the basket. Eddie and I walked over to the big telescope. Eddie let me look through it first. It was pointed at this beautiful bright star that seemed to light up the sky. I was mesmerized by it. When I moved away from the telescope so Eddie could look through it, he was holding a piece of paper inside of a frame. I read the front of the paper. Eddie had named that star after me. He said because it lit up the sky," Loren smiled.

"Do you know why I'm so jealous of you Loren?" I ask.

She nods her head yes, "because I'm living the life you wanted."

I laugh, "No. I'm jealous of you because you left Eddie breathless from the moment you walked into MK the night of that song writing contest. I knew then that he was falling hard for you, even though he wouldn't admit it." Loren looks shocked, "I've always wanted someone to feel that way about me. But I was too busy being someone I'm not. I accused you of taking Eddie away from me. Truth is, I pushed Eddie away with my lies and deceit. I was rude to you and your friend because I saw his attraction to you."

"Do you still love him Chloe?" Loren whispers her eyes fill with anxiety.

I look her dead in her eyes and give her an honest answer, "yes Loren, I still love Eddie. He's a loving, caring, giving man. I would be out of my mind if I didn't still love him." Loren's eyes narrow and her lips form a thin line. Her fists are bawled and I think I see steam coming from her ears. Loren is about to jump over this coffee table and attack me. So I quickly continue, "but I'm not in love with Eddie. I never was. I was in love with the fame and fortune, never the man. I only saw Eddie as a stepping stone to the top. I tolerated the physical things, and treasured the material things. If Eddie would have named a star after me I would have laughed in his face and told him to get his money back. If someone better had come along, I would have dumped him in a minute." Loren looks shocked.

"But Eddie loved you so much Chloe. How could you be like that towards him?" Loren asks.

"How could Eddie truly love someone he didn't truly know? Besides, I don't think Eddie was ever really in love with me. I was more like his grieving chick."

Loren looks curiously at me, "grieving chick?"

"Yes grieving chick she's the same as a rebound chick," realization crosses her face. "I was there for Eddie when he was grieving the death of his mother. He leaned on me for comfort and support then developed misguided feelings for me."

"And you were okay with that?" Loren asks me.

"Yes. Eddie was a stepping stone; I became whatever he needed me to be just to get what I wanted."

"Does Eddie know all this?"

"Yes he does. It's something we talked about on several of his visits."

I can see Loren's mind working; she's absentmindedly chewing on her bottom lip, taking in all this information. "Did you ask Eddie to keep your friendship a secret?"

"No and I asked him why he chose to keep it a secret." Loren looks at me, she's waiting for me to continue, "he never told me why he kept it a secret."

"Tell me more about your time in prison and your visits with Eddie," Loren says and for the next two hours, I tell Loren everything, my time in prison, Eddie's visits, and the book deal.

"Chloe, thank you for being open and honest with me about your friendship with Eddie," Loren says rising from the couch and walking towards the door.

"Loren, please give Eddie another chance. You two are miserable without each other.

Loren stops with her hand on the door knob, "why did you kiss Eddie?" she asks not looking at me.

"Because I longed for the touch of a man," I tell Loren. She nods her head and turns the knob. "Wait, I have something for you," I tell her running to my room bringing back a package. I hand it to her, "open it."

Loren rips off the wrapping and stairs at the book's title, LET'S TALK she opens it to the title page and reads the dedication out loud, "To Eddie and Loren Duran, you two inspire me to be a better me. I hope one day I find the kind of love you two share. Hold onto each other at all times; what you have is real. Love CK." Loren looks up at me, smiles then gives me a quick hug. "Thanks Chloe."

"You're welcome Loren."

I walk out of Chloe's house with her side of the story. I know didn't accomplish my mission, which was to kick her ass. Instead, I got a peek into why Eddie became Chloe's friend five years ago. I can't put it off any longer; it's time for me to talk to Eddie. I look up to see if the taxi driver is still there and stop in my tracks. Parked in front of Chloe's house is a black Escalade and a driver holding a sign with my name on it. I walk over to the driver, "I'm Loren Duran," I tell him. He opens the door and I climb in and freeze.

"Hi Lo."

~jm~